17. The Wabbit and Primeval Surprise

The lights changed and the Orange Phantom lunged at the Wabbit. But with a move that he'd learned from Puma, Skratch the Cat pounced and gripped the Phantom in a headlock. Now the Wabbit looked at the Phantom with distaste. "Check him out," yelled Lapinette, who had taken the helm. The lights flickered as the Wabbit looked the Phantom over. "What exactly do we have here?" he muttered. He leant down and scooped the citrus slice from the Phantom's robe and held it up and looked at it. "Leave that alone!" spluttered the Phantom. But the slice was sticky. The Wabbit tried to detach his paws without success - so he squeezed, but it wasn't pips that emerged. The objects were green and had a single red eye. As they started to grow, Ghost Bunny fluttered down to have a closer look. "Primeval olives! Don't touch them Wabbit." The Wabbit's paws were already gooey, and he had no intention of sullying them further. He was content to watch as the olives floated towards the bulkhead, growing as they travelled. With a slight popping sound, they passed straight through the walls and were gone. The Wabbit turned. "OK Phantom, this is your last chance. Spill the beans." But the Phantom could only gasp in Skratch's vice-like grip. The Wabbit glanced at Lapinette. "What do you reckon?" "I reckon I need an aperitivo," she said.

16. The Wabbit & Red Citrus Spiders

Spiders came in their thousands - perhaps millions - and they filled the space around earth as if it was theirs to command. And despite their vast numbers, they moved with one single mind. "Red Citrus Spiders!" called Marshall Duetta Spyder telepathically. "Here!" The unified voice of the spiders whistled through the galaxy. "They have seized our worker energy," said Duetta. "So what shall we do?" "Take it back," came the single voice of the spiders, creating a wind of such force that it altered the course of major asteroids. There were so many spiders that their gravitational pull was overwhelming and it gripped the fabric of space in an increasingly tightening lattice. "Hold the orange crafts," commanded Duetta. "Leave the blue one for now, but be ready." Inside the blue craft the Wabbit turned to face his adversary. "What is this trickery?" snarled the Phantom. "No trickery," said the Wabbit. "These are citrus spiders." "What do they want with us?" asked the Phantom. The Wabbit shrugged. "They want to eat you," he said. "Citrus represents their energy and you stole it." "They are small," sneered the Phantom. The Wabbit raised an eye, bared all of his 28 teeth and snarled. "They are many!"

15. The Wabbit & the Lapinette Factor

The Orange Phantom burst through the hatch and he looked far from pleased. "Relinquish command of my craft!" he cried in an acid voice, "or else!" "Oh," said the Wabbit in mock disappointment. "No can do!" "Aaagh!" shrieked the Phantom. "You'll need to speak to my superior," said the Wabbit. "She deals with all that sort of thing." "The female?" gasped the Phantom. "Oh they're awfully nice when you get to know them," shrugged the Wabbit. It was the moment when Lapinette sprang into the air and rushed headlong at the Phantom with burning eyes. "All your crafts are impounded," she thundered with a controlled rage that made the Wabbit's eyes water. "Make your way to Wabbit Space Port 3 where your ships and cargo will be seized and your crew given tickets home." The Phantom seethed with fury and the Wabbit took advantage of the moment by fishing in his fur and murmuring, "Fix location."  "What did you say?" shouted the Phantom. "I need a vacation," said the Wabbit. "Don't we all?" A sound came from deep in the Wabbit's fur and the Phantom scowled. "What was that, earth creature?" "Indigestion," said the Wabbit. "Completely chronic." But the sound turned into Marshall Duetta Spyder's silky voice. "Citrus Spiders locked on your coordinates, Commander." "I heard that!" shouted the Phantom. The Wabbit shook his head sadly. "Tinnitus," he muttered.

14. The Wabbit and a Dive into Space

Skratch took the helm and dived and they all waited. But something didn't feel right and Skratch  upped the submarine periscope and squinted into the viewfinder. The Wabbit flinched but said he nothing. Skratch turned to look at the Wabbit and addressed him formally. "Commander, we appear to be in space." Lapinette caught the Wabbit's eye. "You knew?" "I more or less thought I knew," frowned the Wabbit. "What can you see?" "There are four astral bodies," reported Skratch, "and one of them is probably us." "Are we communicating?" asked the Wabbit. "Our craft is sending and the others are receiving," said Skratch. "They're beaming energy photonically," breathed Ghost Bunny. Skratch the Cat purred with delight. "Then this periscope is probably the control unit for the beam." The Wabbit had an idea. "Perform a 180° sweep, Skratch!" Skratch gradually twisted the scope to port and then to starboard. "Report!" snapped the Wabbit.  Skratch paused for a second. "It varies the quantity of energy to each of the other bodies in the system." "Switch it off," said the Wabbit. Skratch looked nonplussed, but Lapinette pointed to a red button and jabbed it with a paw. "And now?" asked the Wabbit. "The beams have faded Commander," mouthed Skratch but he could hardly be heard as an enormous bang split the air and their compartment hatch shook and started to open ...

13. The Wabbit in the Dark

They all blinked as their eyes tried to see in the ghostly glow. The Wabbit looked around and made out vague shapes and blinked again and counted. "We're one extra," he hissed and he poked the shape next to him. "Ouch," said a voice. Now everyone blinked rapidly and stared. The shape grew familiar and then spoke. "Oh it's you, Wabbit. I wondered where you were." The Wabbit shook his head. "How did you get here, Skratch?" Skratch also shook his head. "I'm not sure. I chased after you, then a force sucked me right into the craft" "You didn't see the Orange Phantom?" asked the Wabbit. "No but I heard voices shouting about cargo and I lay low." Once more, the Wabbit looked around - but things remained unclear. Then he remembered that Skratch had a cat's night vision and he made a wry grin. "What is this place Skratch?" Skratch raised his eyes. "At first I thought I was in a power station but then it struck me as more familiar." The Wabbit waited but Lapinette jumped in. "What on earth is it, Skratch?" "It looks like a submarine," came the reply. The Wabbit thought long and hard about crafts and planets and primeval atoms and nothing made any sense, except for one thing. "Skratch, can you sail it?" "I think so," said Skratch, "so what do you want me to do?" "Dive!" yelled the Wabbit.

12. The Wabbit and Undeclared Cargo

There was a rumbling and a crashing and the creature spoke for the first time. "Cargo arrives!" he shouted and started to spread his wings. Oranges shot through every gap and soon the room was swirling with them. Before long they assembled in formation behind the creature and the Wabbit became aware of the faintest hum. With it came an unpleasant vibration and the Wabbit began to feel distinctly uncomfortable, then nauseous. He looked at Lapinette but Lapinette was already turning away and Ghost Bunny had a pallor that defied colour itself. "Time to go!" shouted the Wabbit and he waved the way forward. "Where to?" shouted Lapinette. "Somewhere more congenial," yelled the Wabbit. But the floor began to feel sticky and a strong smell of citrus filled the room. The Wabbit pulled his feet from the tiles with difficulty, then managed to make some ground, but it was heavy going. Lapinette's long legs served better to coast over the surface and she nearly flew, while Ghost Bunny put her shoulder behind the Wabbit and pushed. They all shot forward and into another space. Suddenly there was no more sound or vibration or sticky citrus smell. Everything was still. They stayed panting in the darkness for a moment and then the Wabbit spoke. "Is this the way out?"

11.The Wabbit and Bureacratic Attack

If the interior of the craft was a surprise to the Wabbit, he didn't let it show, certainly not to the looming creature to whom he stretched a paw. "Commander Wabbit," he said. "Grand Mandarin of the Orange Guild." He gestured to Lapinette, then smiled broadly at the creature. "And this is my Darling, Clementine." Lapinette grinned a sickly grin but the creature said not a word. Ghost Bunny fluttered through the stream of phrases behind the curtain. "I am Commissioner Ghost Bunny of Pluto," she shrieked. The creature slid back. "Where are your papers?" yelled Ghost Bunny. The creature slid back further. "Oh don't mind her, she's doing her ghostly job," said the Wabbit in a reassuring tone. "All the same, we shall need your proof of payment for the cargo you shipped on board." The creature looked blank. "And recquisition and purchase orders, receipts and the waybill," added the Wabbit. He glanced across at Lapinette, who smiled sweetly and spoke softly. "We further require a list of all crew and their credentials and transit papers, duly stamped." Ghost Bunny shrieked without warning. "All galactic movements including destinations and flight plans must receive prior approval of the Galactic Space Safety Board! Where are your papers?" The Wabbit noted the creature's shake of the head and he shook his own sadly. "Then you must consider yourself under arrest."

10. The Wabbit & the Thing in the Way

The tangerine storm died down. But now the team faced a giant obstacle in the road and they studied what looked like a massive blue orange. For some time nothing happened but the Wabbit's ears twitched up at a faint rumbling and he stared at the bulging spot. "It moved," said the Wabbit. "What did?" asked Lapinette. "The bulgy bit," said the Wabbit. "Oh," said Lapinette, "that’s called the calyx." But just as she said “calyx”, there was judder and a hiss as a hatch swung back. The Blue Orange groaned as it became semi transparent and a series of words and phrases appeared. The Wabbit placed his paws behind his back, leaned forward and screwed up his eyes. "OK Lapinette, what are these?" Lapinette squinted too. "They look like commodities," she said, "resources, production ... and work hours too." Ghost Bunny nodded gravely. "This is probably where the Phantoms bring primeval atoms." “To take their energy," said the Wabbit. "Energy for their sun," added Lapinette. "What do you think is inside?" "Only one way to find out," chirped the Wabbit. He waved at the hatch and hopped back to take a run and jump. But he never had the chance to leap because they were seized by a force as strong as a billion vacuum cleaners. Unable to resist, they were sucked upwards and into the interior of the Blue Orange.

9 The Wabbit and the Tangerine Storm

The team headed up Corso Giulio Cesare which the Wabbit didn't like one bit, because he thought it was unlucky. He was still cold and muttering about the Ides of March, when he felt a light wind. "I have a bad feeling about this," said the Wabbit and then he cried with pain as a tangerine hit him full on the nose. With a suddeness that took them all by surprise, they were surrounded by a flurry of fruit. The Wabbt swayed back but Lapinette left the ground and two automatics flew from under her dress. The Wabbit clenched his 28 teeth as various items he kept in his fur spilled out and blew around. "The Tangerine Storm!" yelled Ghost Bunny. The Wabbit yelped as another tangerine whacked his forehead. "What do we do Ghost Bunny?" Lapinette strained to be heard above the wind. "Sit it out," screamed Ghost Bunny. "It will pass!" The Wabbit and Lapinette felt they were in no position to sit, but as suddenly as it had begun the tangerine storm passed and they dropped to the sidewalk like stones. "I bashed my knee," moaned the Wabbit. He looked aound for sympathy, but no sympathy was forthcoming. "This means war," he hissed, then thought of Brutus and quoted him. "We must take the current when it serves - or lose our dentures." "Ventures," sighed Lapinette.

8. The Wabbit and change in Weather

They lost sight of the Phantoms as they crossed the bridge and as they walked beside the river they felt a sudden chill. "It's happening, it's happening!" screeched Ghost Bunny. "What's happening?" shivered the Wabbit. Ghost Bunny shivered too. "This is how they do it," she moaned. Now the Wabbit was very cold and he grunted again. "Spit it out, Ghost Bunny!" Ghost Bunny wailed frantically. "They're looking for energy and when they find it, they'll take it." The Wabbit clapped his paws for heat and grunted again. "Then they convert it and their planet glows blue." continued Ghost Bunny. "I wish you'd tell us the whole story, Ghost Bunny," said Lapinette. "I feel rather in the dark." "The Phantoms worship their sun and continually feed it," sighed Ghost Bunny. "They rampage their constellation for loot." "We're too far away for that," scoffed the Wabbit. "Well, they must be desperate," replied Ghost Bunny and she haunted up and down for some time. "What are they looking for exactly?" asked the Wabbit. "Primeval atoms," said Ghost Bunny. "But they don't really exist, do they?" said Lapinette. "Oh they do, they do!" moaned Ghost Bunny. "Then what do they look like?" asked the Wabbit, stamping his feet. "They're about the size of a ..." Ghost Bunny thought for a second. "Tangerine?" suggested Lapinette.

7. The Wabbit and the Manifestation

The Wabbit was hot, his brain was hot and his gun was hot. At this precise juncture, there was little about the Wabbit that was cool. The temperature rose steadily as Lapinette, Ghost Bunny and the Wabbit toured the city for the Orange Phantoms without success. But as they climbed the old stairs to the ancient monastery, they suddenly materialised. Phantoms wafted down the steps wihout so much as by your leave and the Wabbit growled under his breath. "Halt!" he shouted, but nothing happened. Nothing whatsoever. Except that the Phantoms kept coming. "Hold onto your fur!" shouted Ghost Bunny and braced herself as they marched closer and closer and passed straight through everyone. "Ooooh," said Lapinette, "that felt clammy hot." "I hate that," said Ghost Bunny. "Good grief," muttered the Wabbit. "They're not the slightest bit interested in us." "Are you upset?" laughed Lapinette. "Not at all," said the Wabbit. "No offence taken. I guess shooting them won't work then?" Ghost Bunny shook her head. "They like energy." "I could use some myself," said the Wabbit wearily. "I suppose we'd better follow them," suggested Lapinette. "How long can you follow an orange?" asked the Wabbit. Lapinette smiled. "Until they run out of juice."

6. The Wabbit & the Orange Phantoms

The Wabbit relayed Skratch's information about the Orange Sun and Ghost Bunny said "I told you so." "Told me what?" The Wabbit was discourteous when he got really hot. "I told you about Planet HD 62509b." wailed Ghost Bunny. Now the Wabbit was flummoxed. "Why can't they give planets sensible names!" he shouted. "Like Luigi," offered Lapinette, who was familiar with the Wabbit's fits of annoyance. "Perhaps the Planet of Phantoms isn't good enough for you," moaned Ghost Bunny, who was also getting annoyed. "Oh sorry everyone," said the Wabbit, "I need some shade." Lapinette looked around for shade before the Wabbit became furious. "What about down there? "she suggested. Then she paused. "What's up?" asked the Wabbit. "I don't suppose these phantoms are orange?" Lapinette pointed vaguely downwards. "Of course they're orange," snapped Ghost Bunny, "what colour do you think they should be?" "Then they're already here," sighed Lapinette. The Wabbit summoned the strength to shrug. "Are they dangerous?" Ghost Bunny moaned and blanched in fright. The Wabbit didn't know ghosts could turn pale so he tried to soothe her. "Orange Phantoms," he said pithily. "At least we can 'peel 'em." "Pip-squeaks," smiled Lapinette.

5. Skratch the Cat and the Two Suns

Skratch stood on the platform at Santa Maria del Monte and watched the city as instructed. But it was so hot he switched his radio to paws-free and rested it on a wall. The radio crackled. Skratch put a paw across his eyes and purred gently without much energy. "Receiving, go ahead." "What can you see from up there?" The Wabbit's voice was terse and Skratch matched it. "Does two suns sound normal to you, Wabbit?" There was a hissing and it wasn't the radio. "Only on Kepler 2b and it 600 light years away!" The Wabbit sounded bad tempered and Skratch wanted to join him. "Well frankly, one sun looks a bit like an orange." "I don't like oranges," said the Wabbit. "I can't stand them myself," replied Skratch. The radio went silent for some time and then suddenly burst into life. "Even the radio's bad-tempered," thought Skratch.  The Wabbit's voice was hoarse. "Can you see any tangerines?" "I can see small orange things approaching the second sun," observed Skratch. "How do you know it's the second and not the first?" The Wabbit sounded exasperated. "It's got no clouds across it," groaned Skratch, "how hot is it down there?" The radio crackled again. "I saw a chicken lay an omelet."

4. The Wabbit & the Wayward Tangerine

When Ghost Bunny and the Wabbit reached Pluto Park they were broiling in the heat of the sun. Lapinette waved across the tram tracks. "Hello, hello! It's just too darn hot to mention." "We're having a heat wave," said the Wabbit and he juggled some tangerines that he's found in the street. "A tropical heat wave," added Ghost Bunny. Lapinette picked up more tangerines and threw them at the Wabbit and the Wabbit included them in his juggle. "Where did all the tangerines come from?" asked Lapinette. "They must have dropped off the back of a lorry," said the Wabbit and he threw one tangerine quite high. But the tangerine didn't drop, it kept going. "Come back!" shouted the Wabbit and he tried to grab it. But it eluded his grasp and sailed off. "You don't see that every day," said Lapinette, picking up more tangerines. "There's something fishy about this," wailed Ghost Bunny. She floated after the tangerine, observed it closely and then returned. "It's not coming back," she whispered. "I wouldn't normally care," said the Wabbit, who generally avoided citrus things. "But now I'm hot and bothered and taking things to heart." "It's not personal," said Ghost Bunny. "It's being drawn by an unknown force." "What would attract a tangerine?" mused Lapinette. One by one they looked skywards. 

3. The Wabbit and the Big Heat

The Wabbit thought little more about the planet from the Gemini Constellation, but something unsettled him and he couldn't sleep. So he went for an early walk to greet the rosy-fingered dawn. On his way he bumped into Ghost Bunny who was fluttering down Corso Francia on her way to Pluto Park. "Hauntingly hot, Wabbit," she moaned. She reached out and pulled a pair of sunglasses from the Wabbit's fur, then put them on. "I'm baking," said the Wabbit. They both looked up and the Wabbit shielded his eyes. "Did you hear about the planet from Pollux?" he ventured. Ghost Bunny looked quizzical under her glasses. "Do tell," she wailed softly. The Wabbit grinned. "A planet broke orbit and it's supposed to be headed here." Ghost Bunny blinked. "What colour planet, do you know?" "It looks like an orange," said the Wabbit. There was a silence and the Wabbit saw that Ghost Bunny was trembling. "Danger danger!" she shrieked suddenly. The Wabbit was surprised because he knew that nothing frightened Ghost Bunny with the exception of Puma. "How close is it?" asked Ghost Bunny. "Not too far," smiled the Wabbit.  "Aaaaaaaagh," shrieked Ghost Bunny. "Red alert!" The Wabbit raised an eye. "It's planet HD 62509b," she explained. "We call it the Planet of Phantoms ..."

2. The Wabbit and a Star called Pollux

There wasn't much on the Wabbit's desk except for a small disk marked "View immediately without delay." So he hopped to a small cinema in Via Nizza where he had an arrangement. The Wabbit sprawled in his seat and rustled a copy of Popular Astronomy that he had bought on a whim at the railway station. "The Milky Way!" boomed a voice, "a spiral just like the shell of the common snail." The Wabbit looked at his magazine and yawned. "Tell us something we don't know." The voice boomed again. "What you don't know is that a planet from the Gemini constellation has broken orbit and is heading this way." "It looks like an orange," snorted the Wabbit. "It looks rather like an orange," continued the voice. "And it formerly orbited the K-type star, Pollux." The Wabbit suddenly paid attention. "Castor and Pollux," he breathed. "The seamen's friends." He put down his magazine and stared at the screen. "Where's Gemini?" The voice sighed. "Where it usually is. Right ascension 07h 45m 18.94987s. Declination +28° 01′ 34.3160."  "And how far away is the object now?" hissed the Wabbit. "20 light years and closing, Commander." The Wabbit sniffed. "And how long is a bit of string?" "Twice as long as half the length," said the voice.

1. The Wabbits head Home

"Everything ship-shape?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit's jeep was perfectly safe on the Streets of New York and had even been given a wash, so he leaned back. "You drive," he said." "Then you get dinner," replied Lapinette. "Deal," said the Wabbit. "And I don't mean Menu of the Day," said Lapinette firmly. "I want a treat with tablecloths and napkins and different sized glasses." "OK," agreed the Wabbit, rummaging in his fur for lunch vouchers. Lapinette crashed the jeep into gear. "How are the others getting back?" The jeep lurched forward as the Wabbit thought for a second and counted on his paw. "Puma's on public transport. Moloch's using his 7 league boots, Wabsworth and Skratch are in Turbina the Jet Car." Lapinette frowned. "What about Robot?" The Wabbit shook his head. "He has another football match." Lapinette turned on the radio. A frantic sports commentator listed team line-ups in a nasally voice. Lapinette switched the radio off. "What are we going to do for our next adventure?" she asked. "I'm sure there's something waiting on my desk," said the Wabbit. "I feel it in my waters." Lapinette suppressed a smile. "Do you want me find out? I'll radio Ledger, back at base." "It'll keep," snapped the Wabbit quickly. Lapinette smirked. "It's 700 kilometers to Turin." "Are we there yet?" said the Wabbit.

The Adventure Caffè at Cinecittà

"Can I say it, can I say it, can I say it?" Moloch's voice boomed from the back. The Wabbit glanced at Skratch the Cat and Skratch nodded his approval. Moloch cleared his throat and spread his considerable arms. "What was that for a kind of adventure?" he yelled. Lapinette shook her ears. "It was just a story." Skratch thrust himself forward. "Just a story?" he snorted. "Stories are the life blood of ..." Skratch paused because he couldn't think what to say next. "Existence?" suggested the Wabbit. Wabsworth rapped the table for attention and addressed Lapinette. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Lapinette, than are dreamt of in your morphology." Skratch applauded. "Well put Wabsworth!" The Wabbit also rapped the table. "That was a pastiche of Cabiria, a Turin product and the best silent film ever made." "Oh was Cabiria a film?" said Moloch. "I could have sworn it was real." "That's the whole point," said Skratch, "and by the way, where are the aperitivi?" "Moloch was supposed to get them," said the Wabbit, turning. "I'm a bit short," said Moloch. "Could you lend me 50 euro until Friday?" "It is Friday," smiled Lapinette. And they all laughed and laughed and laughed.

16. The Wabbit and the Incarceration

A detail from the Wabbit's personal guard mopped up the remainder of the Agents of Rabit, while the Wabbit looked on approvingly. "This way, this way," shouted Moloch from inside the jail, He licked his lips and looked at the Wabbit. "What shall I do with the prisoners?" "Do you what you like!" scowled the Wabbit. He had fought the Agents so hard and for so long that he hardly cared. "There are rather many," said Moloch. "Just lock 'em up," said the Wabbit, "we'll decide later." "May I accompany you to your adventure caffè?" asked Moloch. "You're the guest of honour," said the Wabbit, and then he paused. "Tell me where you got the new threads, Moloch?" Moloch looked questioningly. "The garments, the schmutter," said the Wabbit. "I recall you had rather a different costume in the old days." "Oh," said Moloch smiling, "I visited an Indonesian shop in Via Garibaldi." The Wabbit raised an eyebrow. "The staff were most accommodating," continued Moloch, "and I got a rather good deal." "I'm hardly surprised," said the Wabbit with a grin. One of the Wabbit's guard saluted. "Commander Sir!" The Wabbit raised another eyebrow. "The prisoners are insisting on their rights, Sir. They want television, Sir." "The Wabbit threw back his ears and laughed. "I can't think of a better punishment!"

15.The Wabbit & the Flying Munitions

The whistling turned to a drone and the drone turned to a roar as Susan the Biplane came diving from the sky and swept the Wabbit up with a single swoop. Now she hurtled down the film set with the Agents of Rabit in hot pursuit. "Thanks Susan." said the Wabbit. "You don't have to say anything, Sir," said Susan, "you just have to whistle." The Wabbit grinned as he tucked Moloch's ring into the cockpit and started to dislodge the packages that were taped to Susan's wing. "Down a bit Susan," said the Wabbit. "Let them think we're running out of fuel." Susan's engine coughed and spluttered as she dropped sharply. Agents of Rabit scurried out of every corner and shook their fists. "Here they come," murmured the Wabbit. "Come to Daddy." An Agent tried to jump on board but failed miserably. "Rabits can't jump," sneered the Wabbit, and he started kicking. Blue packages fell like rain onto the street below and lay there. "Go Susan, go!" yelled the Wabbit. He jumped into the cockpit as Susan soared near vertically above the rooftops. "Hit it!" shouted the Wabbit. Susan's engine roared but the Wabbit could still hear the faintest of clicks from Susan's instrument panel. "Kaboom," said the Wabbit.

14. The Wabbit runs into Trouble

The Wabbit made a swift getaway but not swift enough. As he rounded a corner, he came face to face with an elite corp of the Agents of Rabit. The Agents looked at the Wabbit and they didn't look pleased. "Think you're smart, Wabbit?" said one. "Think you're clever?" said another. The Wabbit stood stock still as only he could do. "Run out of wisecracks, Wabbit?" said an Agent at the back. "I never run out of wisecracks," shrugged the Wabbit. "You've gone too far, this time" said an Agent. "Not far enough," quipped the Wabbit. The Wabbit's ears moved gently as he listened intently, because the Wabbit had a plan. But the trouble about plans as he had come to understand, was that they needed improvisation. So he started to whistle in rather a tuneless way that he knew was intensely annoying. "Give us the ring!" shouted the Agents, edging forward. For their own part they knew that the Wabbit could be tricky, so they were cautious. But the Wabbit continued to whistle. "Cease making that noise!" said the lead Agent. "What noise?" The Wabbit managed to speak and whistle at the same time. "I can't hear a thing," said the Wabbit. "It must be the wind." The Agents could feel no wind and they shook their fists, but the whistle got louder and louder and louder.

13. The Wabbit sets out his Stall

The Wabbit set out his stall carefully and started to shout. "Free valuations. We buy gold!"  A snickering echoed from the walls as the Agents of Rabit drew close. "All welcome," said the Wabbit. "Best prices paid." He gestured to his display of rings and nodded several times. He noticed that one Agent was clutching a large ring and he smiled nonchalantly. "Never knowingly oversold," he chuckled. "If you can find a higher price than mine, I'll refund you the original price plus half the difference." An Agent held a ring aloft. "This is worth more than you can ever pay!" he shouted. The Wabbit smiled again in a most irritating fashion. "How much do you think it's worth, squire?" "A kings ransom," yelled the Agent. "Kings are out of fashion," grinned the Wabbit. "Quite worthless. I'll give you a gazillion." The Agents huddled to discuss the matter, while the Wabbit pretended to smooth his fur. "We're thinking about it," said the leading Agent. "I need to examine the goods," said the Wabbit. "Pass the ring over here." The Agent approached the Wabbit's stall and the Wabbit passed his paw over the ring and uttered "Sim sala bim." "What does that mean?" said the Agent. "It means look up at the sky!" smiled the Wabbit. As the Agent looked up, the Wabbit dropped the ring into his fur and substituted another." I'm afraid your ring is fake," frowned the Wabbit.

12. The Wabbit and Android Recovery

"There he is!" shouted Lapinette. Moloch gripped Wabsworth tightly as he peered over the top of the damaged building. "How did Wabsworth survive the blast?" muttered Skratch. Moloch laughed. "He tells me he was recently retro fitted with an outer membrane of blast-proof silicone." "Now everyone will want it," sulked the Wabbit. Wabsworth hung on as the roof shook. "So much for your trick, Wabbit," cried Moloch."The Agents of Rabit still possess my ring." "There's more than one way to knit a sweater," said the Wabbit. "Oh yes Wabbit?" queried Moloch, "surely you're not spinning me a yarn." "Let's workshop it then," said Lapinette. The Wabbit rummaged in his fur and took out a hammer, saw and a piece of wood. Everyone groaned except for Moloch who howled. Wabsworth clung to the swaying parapet and called down with an angry voice. "I propose luring them across concealed pits lined with sharp spikes," "They'll never fall for that one," said Skratch. "I still go for fake rings," said the Wabbit. "They won't be expecting the same dodge." Skratch grimaced. "The Wabbit always rings twice?" "Nothing better than rings to get 'em nosing around," grinned the Wabbit.

11. The Wabbit and the Big Bang

"Look out Wabsworth." Lapinette screamed at the top of her voice but her words were drowned by a detonation and she watched helplessly as Wabsworth spiralled skyward. The Wabbit loped towards the source of the explosion but he could hardly see for dust. "Wabsworth!" he shouted and he kicked debris from right to left. "Get down Wabbit," yelled Skratch. "There might be another one." But no more explosions came and gradually the dust settled. Lapinette picked small wood splinters from her fur and cursed silently. Skratch gripped his automatic fiercely and looked desperately for something to shoot. The Wabbit glanced all around but of Wabsworth there was not the slightest sign. He sniffed the air and twitched his nose and sniffed again. "Curious," he muttered. "He can't just disappear into thin air." Lapinette coughed and blew dust from her nose. "The air's not so thin, Wabbit," grimaced Skratch as tears streamed down his face and matted his fur. Acrid fumes drifted across the insubstantial buildings and they all rubbed their eyes. Suddenly the air cleared and the Wabbit thought he heard a rustling sound. "I'm sure I heard something," said Lapinette. "So did I," said Skratch. Then they all looked up. 

10. The Wabbit buys Gold

The team moved quietly through Suburra, the ancient Roman slums. Lapinette led the search for the jewellery store, because she was an expert in goldology. The Wabbit bounced on his legs and pointed his pistol in all directions. "This isn't Starsky and Hutch, Wabbit," meaowed Skratch as he covered the rear with a steady paw. Out on the open street, Wabsworth strolled nonchalantly towards a brightly light shop. "Ah! Compro Oro, just what I've been looking for!" he said loudly and he fumbled conspicuously in his fur for a fake ring. "I hate these pawn shop places," whispered Lapinette. The Wabbit heard the snick of a safety catch and he grinned broadly. "They're full of dodgy things. What do you say Skratch?" "I never used them," said Skratch who had been a cat burglar. "I preferred professionals." Wabsworth hoped closer to the entrance and raised his voice. "A whole window of shiny shiny things, how lovely." Lapinette twitched her super ears at a faint snickering. "They're behind the paper-thin walls." "We nailed them," said the Wabbit. "They're just begging for it." "Begging for what?" asked Skratch. "The old switcheroo," replied the Wabbit. "Just the thing for the New Year," laughed Lapinette. "I'd quite forgotten what day it was," said the Wabbit, "what with all the excitement." There was clang from the shop shutters and the Wabbit bared his 28 teeth. "Let's roll 'em."

9. The Wabbit gets to Cinecittà.

"That's torn it!" Wabsworth and Skratch jumped because the Wabbit had crept up behind them. "Sorry folks," murmured the Wabbit. "He moves fast, that Moloch god." Wabsworth pointed. "Are these seven league boots?" "That's only in fairy tales," said Skratch. "It's a fictional enormity." They put their paws over their ears as Moloch crashed a foot and gave a mighty cry that echoed across the backlot. The thin walls of the film sets shook and rattled. "Where is the Ring of Fulvius?" he roared. "Give - me - back - my - Ring!" They could only watch as Moloch stamped up and down and howled. Wabsworth nudged Skratch. "Can you see the Agents of Rabit?" Skratch narrowed his eyes. "Up there on the archway?" "Arco di Traiano," said the Wabbit archly. "All is artifice, Wabbit" remarked Skratch, "did you bring the Snazer guns?" "They're in the jeep," said the Wabbit. "I parked it over on the streets of New York." "I hope its still there," smiled Wabsworth. "So many gangs." The Wabbit grinned and waved a paw. "Let Moloch distract the Agents and we'll sneak round the back." "I wonder what happened to his ring?" mused Skratch. The Wabbit thought. "Now where would Agents hide it?" "A finger?" said Wabsworth. "Maybe," said the Wabbit, looking at a paw. Skratch's eyes glinted and he purred softly. "A jewellry shop!"

8. Wabsworth draws out the Agents

Skratch the Cat spoke into his walkie-talkie a hushed meaow. "The Agents are here Commander!" The radio crackled gently. "Yes, Wabsworth is just hopping discreetly, as you asked." The radio crackled again. "He has his paw in his fur, just as you said. Yes yes." Skratch waited then nodded frantically. "Of course they saw him, you can't miss him." There was a very long crackle from the radio. "OK we'll go in now." The radio whined slightly and Skratch tightened his paw grip on the rado and spoke tersely. "I know we don't need tickets, Wabbit. You have a prior arrangement. Out."  Skratched sighed a long sigh and whispered to Wabsworth. "Just wait nonchalently for a second and then turn back and join me. We're going in." "I'm looking for my pass," murmured Wabsworth. Skratch sighed. "There's a prior arrangement." "We're undercover, we need to look authentically authentic," sulked Wabsworth. "You're talking like the Wabbit," grunted Skratch. "I'm an android copy I can't help it," said Wabsworth simply and he turned and hopped into the entrance with Skratch. "Did you know what Marcello Mastroianni said?" purred Skratch in a voice that he reserved for cinema talk. "I expect you're going to tell me," said Wabsworth. "Cinecittà is a symbolic and beautiful fortress. Outside is Hell!" "Better hop in then," said Wabsworth.

7. Puma searches for Agents of Rabit

The Wabbit had given precise instructions. Now Puma and Terni searched the streets for the lair of the Agents of Rabit in a specific circular search pattern. Puma never had any trouble on the streets and usually they would empty in front of him. When anyone saw him, they assumed he had escaped from a collection of exotic creatures and if he encountered any difficulty he dispelled it with a mighty growl that shook windows. Terni the Food Dragon was regarded a little like the Loch Ness Monster and was good for tourism. People did not speak of sightings since they were disbelieved and indefinitely detained. "We're getting close, Terni," growled Puma, "can you see anything?" "I thought I spotted some waving ears," shouted Terni, "but they were dodgy Christmas decorations." "I can smell Agents," snarled Puma. "What do we do if we bump into them?" asked Terni. "Rend them limb from limb?" Puma snarled as he loped. "Leave that to the Wabbit, he has his own methods!" Terni snickered and swooped but Puma glanced to the left and spotted graffiti on the wall. He screeched to a halt. "They've been here Terni. Go and tell the Commander." "I'll be back in a trice," said Terni. "What is a trice?" asked Puma. "It's rather more than fast," replied Terni. He looped then flew vertically to the sky and vanished. "Very tricey," growled Puma.

6. The Wabbit and the Moloch Briefing

The Wabbits were marginally faster than Moloch. With lightning speed. they dived inside the abandoned restaurant and Lapinette released Robot. Moloch stopped outside and howled loudly, then peered through the window. "Oh it's you, Wabbit." "Moloch we meet again," said the Wabbit. "And I can't recall who owes who." " Wabbit there's no need for weaponry," said Moloch. "Just tell me where they are and you can all go." "Who are they?" asked the Wabbit. "The army of the ears," said Moloch, "they swindled me." The Wabbit raised an eye, hunched and swung his snazer rifle." "They took a ring entrusted to me by Fulvius. It has magical powers," continued Moloch. The Wabbit glanced at Lapinette, who knew all about rings. Lapinette nodded and explained. "The ring was given to the spy Fulvius by Croessa, Cabiria's nurse." Moloch grunted. "With the ring they can rule the known world." "Why take Robot?" asked the Wabbit. "He knows little about rings." "He knows about the army of the ears," said Moloch. Robot's gears whined. "Is this about the Lupi?" "It's not about Roma Football Club," smiled Lapinette. The Wabbit scowled. "It's about the Agents of Rabit." "Do you have a plan?" asked Lapinette. "I do," said the Wabbit. Moloch sighed. "You know where they are?" The Wabbit bared all of his 28 teeth. "I know a lot of things."

5. The Wabbit & Moloch on the Beach

The Wabbit stood on the back of the the jeep and looked through his field binoculars. "There he is! There's Robot. " Lapinette squinted her eyes in the sun. "What does it say on his monitor?" "It says Help!" said the Wabbit with a wry grin. "Robot's always to the point," murmured Lapinette and she strained her super ears. "I can hear Moloch muttering." The Wabbit waited silently. He could hear something too but no words, so he kept quiet. "OK," said Lapinette finally. "He says he's the spectre of genius and he won't stand for interference." "Who by?" asked the Wabbit. Lapinette's eyes narrowed to a single point. "The ghastly agents who's ears are armies." The Wabbit lowered his binoculars. "The Agents of Rabit! They've been much too quiet." Lapinette's ears quivered. "What on earth did they do to annoy Moloch?" The Wabbit lifted his binoculars. "Now he's turning!" "And he's waving his arms," said Lapinette. "Now he's spotted us," said the Wabbit, "and he's coming over here." "Oh, what to do?" asked Lapinette casually. "Get in his way?" suggested the Wabbit and he shrugged. Lapinette's ears flapped in a sudden wind. "Waaaaaaaaaabits!" yelled Moloch.

4. The Wabbit gives Christmas Orders

"All right everyone, look alive!" shouted the Wabbit and he made a circular motion with his paw. Lapinette spoke fiercely into her walkie talkie to Terni the Dragon. "Do you have visual?" The radio crackled. "Moloch is heading down the coast." Lapinette’s voice was brisk. "Follow him and locate Robot. Advise but do not extract." The Wabbit issued orders. "Snail, block the road to the south at Fiumicino." He looked across at Turbina the Jet Car. "Wabsworth and Skratch. Stay in contact with Terni and rendezvous at Control Point Carrot." He looked all around with narrowed eyes. "Where’s Puma?" "Just arrived at Rome Termini." replied Lapinette. The Wabbit nodded. "Tell him to change to the train for Maccarese. We’ll pick him up." Wabsworth revved Turbina’s enigine and Snail wiggled his antennae. Lapinette nudged the Wabbit. "There’s more to this Moloch business than a kidnapping." "And the rest!" said the Wabbit, "so let’s proceed cautiously. We’ll isolate Moloch and interrogate him."  "Remember, he’s a bit of a vengeful God," said Lapinette. The Wabbit stiffened. "I eat vengeful Gods for breakfast." "That explains your indigestion," smiled Lapinette and she crashed her jeep into gear and shot off down Via di Porta Angelica. 

3.The Wabbit and the coming of Moloch

Before they saw anything, the team heard the crashing of boulders and a bellowing that made the rooftops shake. Then he came down the path, his mighty feet thumping the bare earth. "It’s Moloch!" said the Wabbit. "But he’s got new clothes." "I thought he gave up the sacrifice business," whispered Lapinette. "Maybe it was too much of a sacrifice," commented Wabsworth. The Wabbit groaned and Lapinette joined him while Moloch continued to stomp down the hill. But he was so busy kicking things that he didn’t spot anyone. The team strained their ears to make sense of the bellowing. "I’ll get them," said Moloch, "I’ll make them pay for meddling with Moloch the Great One." The Wabbit and Lapinette put their heads together. "Who’s them?" they whispered. "Quiet," said Wabsworth, "he’s talking again." "What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains?" howled Moloch. "Their skulls?” muttered the Wabbit, "he used to have a better line in jokes." "Another sacrifice?” suggested Wabsworth. "I just heard him say Robot!" murmured Lapinette, who had the best ears. The Wabbit recoiled suddenly and spoke too loudly. "Moloch must be holding Robot." Moloch screeched. "Even the rough streets speak!" and he stamped on. "We’d better follow him," said the Wabbit. "Well it shouldn’t be hard," said Wabsworth.
["What sphinx of cement ... ate up their brains?" from Howl by Allen Ginsberg]

2. The Wabbit and the Signals

Susan the Biplane flew to Rome at lightning speed and dropped sharply to Via Sannio Market. "Down there!" yelled Lapinette. "That's our signals marshall," said the Wabbit. Susan sniffed because she felt she didn't need one. "He's saying forward and right," explained the Wabbit. "I didn't know we had a signals marshall," said Lapinette. "Oh, you never know when you might need one," said the Wabbit. Susan dipped her wings, then Lapinette shook her ears and asked, "How did Wabsworth get here so quickly?" "Turbina the Jet Car," stated the Wabbit." Now Lapinette was completely astonished, because she knew that Turbina was very picky about her drivers. "We're rather close to that bus stop," said Lapinette. "No Ma'am," murmured Susan and she landed neatly, coasting past Wabsworth to the right as indicated. The propeller died and the Wabbit hopped down. "What's the word on Robot?" "Nothing," said Wabsworth, "but there are reports of a troublesome rampaging God." "The worst kind," moaned the Wabbit. "Description?" asked Lapinette. "Tall, enormous mouth, wings, a big "M" insignia." The Wabbit's eyes glinted dangerously. "I know him."

1.The Wabbit & the Christmas Mission

The team left the Adventure Caffè, but Lapinette heard a crackle on her radio and hung back. She placed a paw on the Wabbit's arm and spoke urgently. "Where?" The radio crackled again. "How?" The Wabbit cringed because he knew this was serious. His eyes drifted upwards and he spotted his friend, Tenri the Food Dragon, circling high above. Lapinette signed off and looked at the Wabbit and the Wabbit looked back with a wrinkly nose. "Rome for Christmas?" he said. Lapinette nodded. "Robot was in Rome for a football match, but he's gone missing." "That's not like him. He usually comes back waving a scarf and whirling a noisy thing." Lapinette frowned. "The word is he's been kidnapped along with some other luminaries." "Any sign of a ransom note?" asked the Wabbit. "Not so far," said Lapinette. The Wabbit made a funny sound with his teeth." "When do we leave?" "It'll take a day to get organised," said Lapinette. "I'll get my stuff," said the Wabbit. Lapinette looked surprised because she thought the Wabbit kept everything in his fur. "What kind of stuff?" "Kidnapping stuff," he hissed. Lapinette took a deep breath. "How shall we travel?" "Mob-handed*," said the Wabbit. 

[*Mob-handed: In considerable numbers, looking for trouble]

The Wabbit and a new Adventure Caffè

In a new caffè some way out of town, the team gathered to discuss the latest adventure. Skratch arrived late and paused at a wine barrel to beat a jolly tune with his paws. "Oh oh oh. What was that," he sang, "for a sort of adventure for a cat?" "I'll answer this time," said Wabsworth. "Do tell," smiled Lapinette. "It was modernist, yet anti realist," stated Wabsworth solemnly. Skratch had taken some time to warm to Wabsworth but he nodded his head approvingly. "Mmm, yes" said Skratch and then he grinned. "But I'm not anti realist as such," he said. "I just prefer a different realism." The Wabbit chipped in. "How many realisms are there anyway?" Lapinette pointed and counted round the group. "Four to start with!" "I fear we're falling into the pit of relativism," said the Wabbit and nudged Lapinette under the table. "How deep is that?" asked Wabsworth. "River deep, mountain high!" said Skratch. Everyone laughed and laughed, but the Wabbit decided that frivolity had gone too far. "The service here is a little slow," he commented and now I'm thirsty." "I'll have a Cabiria," said Wabsworth. "It might be a while. I think the waiters have been kidnapped," said the Wabbit.

13. The Wabbit's Dimensional Regularisor

The Wabbit and Wabsworth assembled everything they could find and made a Dimensional Regularisor. The Wabbit had shrugged and said “How hard can it be?” and they made it in no time. Now, via a secret passage known only to the Wabbit, they located in a hidden corner of the Late Tunnel and pedalled up the eco-generator. Inside the tram, it looked as if nothing had happened, but the Wabbit could see Lapinette was suddenly aware and looking out the window. “Everyone keep calm,” muttered the Wabbit to no one in particular. He gave the generator another three turns for luck and shouted to Wabsworth. "Hit it!" Sparks shot from electrodes and two lightning bolts leapt across the void to hit the Regularisor they had fashioned from an old flight controller. The reggae creatures assembled into groups as the tram started to shimmer. "I think its working," said the Wabbit. "I had no doubt," said Wabsworth. "So what do we do for an encore?" mused the Wabbit. "Replace all the lost and found objects I suppose. That might be fun." Wabsworth smiled broadly. "What about the Number Nine Tram and passengers? I suppose we should bring them back to normal life." "What's that like?" asked the Wabbit.

12. The Wabbit and Wabworld W.

Wabsworth, the Wabbit’s android double, looked on as the Wabbit rummaged through his fur for a suitable tool to fix the affects of the Late Tunnel and the Reggae Creatures. Occasionally he caught tools and placed them on the ground, but some he kept and tucked into his own fur. The Wabbit clutched one of his favourite combination gadgets and stopped. "Are we there yet?" he asked. "I think so" said Wabsworth. "I think we can make a Dimensional Regularisor from these." "I have a few more things," said the Wabbit digging deeper. "What about a power supply?" asked Wabsworth. "I have a battery pack and a multi connector," said the Wabbit." "Or a wind-up eco special, made to help the Third World." Wabsworth shook his head. "How many worlds are there?" "I rather lost count," shrugged the Wabbit. "So what about our world?" asked Wabsworth. "We don’t have a number," said the Wabbit. "We exist in a different space." "Nevertheless," announced Wabsworth with passion, "it should have a designation." The Wabbit paused, then explained that three working parties and no less than seven task forces had failed to agree and were still arguing about it. "My suggestion is "Wabworld W," said the Wabbit. "I like that," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit grinned a very broad grin indeed.  "That now makes two of us."

11. The Wabbit and the Market Psyche

Just as Wabsworth replied "Yes and No", the scene changed. "Are we still in your wabitronic psyche?" asked the Wabbit. "Yes," said Wabsworth. "This is a part of your psyche I left unchanged." "Why?" asked the Wabbit. Wabsworth smiled, even though he was an android. "I suppose it's respect for your organisation of things." The Wabbit looked all around as they ambled through the market. "It's neater than I thought." Wabsworth nodded vigourously. "This is a psychic sub routine for finding things. Everything we need is - somewhere." The Wabbit shrugged. "Something for sorting out the effect of the Late Tunnel," he murmured. "And the reggae creatures," said Wabsworth. "One thing, Wabsworth," said the Wabbit, "are we here or not here?" Wabsworth turned and shrugged exactly like the Wabbit. "Everything is here and not here." "Are we still in the Late Tunnel then?" "More or less," said Wabsworth. "We're are also not there, but no-one there has a clue we're not there." "Or not here," commented the Wabbit. "You're getting the hang of this," chuckled Wabsworth. "So what do we need?" asked the Wabbit. Wabsworth smiled maliciously. "What have you got in your fur?" "A Hadron Collider," suggested the Wabbit. "That's a sledgehammer to crack a nut," said Wabsworth." "I've got a sledgehammer," said the Wabbit.

10. The Wabbit in the Drawing Room

Now that he was inside Wabsworth's wabitronic psyche, the Wabbit looked all around. Then he looked at Wabsworth and thought. When the Wabbit's android double, Wabsworth came into being, he was a copy of the Wabbit. But time had passed and Wabsworth had laid down his own thoughts and ways of doing. The Wabbit knew this and he was used to it. "Nice drawing room," he said. "Most minimalist." "I've been working on your psyche," said Wabsworth, "and this is the result." The Wabbit briefly wondered where he would put his collection of scratchy old records, but he moved swiftly to the matter in paw. "What's going on?" Wabsworth stuck a paw in his fur and inclined his ears, just like the Wabbit. "Did you notice the shape of the reggae creatures from the Late Tunnel?" The Wabbit shook his head. "They're equations," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit shook his head again. "Schrödinger's equations," added Wabsworth. "You became entangled with objects important to you. But I'm afraid they're both here and not here at the same time." "We're here though, aren't we?" queried the Wabbit. "Yes and no," said Wabsworth.

9. The Wabbit in the Wabitronic Psyche

As his singing died away, the Wabbit found himself floating ethereally outside the Tram. Suddenly he caught sight of Wabsworth's disembodied head floating equally ethereally above him and he could hear his voice repeating something. "Concentrate on me, Wabbit. concentrate on me, Wabbit. Concentrate on me, Wabbit." So the Wabbit concentrated very hard indeed. "What's happening, Wabsworth?" he croaked. "You're so desperately entangled," said Wabsworth, "that I've been forced to image you inside my wabitronic psyche." The Wabbit's eyes glazed slightly but he could hear Wabsworth speaking softly. "In this space, we can begin to disentangle everything." "What about the tram?" asked the Wabbit. "I've suspended tram and passengers," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit looked at the tram and he could see everything was roughly the same. "What about the reggae creatures?" asked the Wabbit. "Especially them," said Wabsworth. "We need to embark on urgent discussions, so will you come to my wabitronic drawing room?" "I didn't know you had a drawing room," said the Wabbit in a surprised voice. "We all have a drawing room," laughed Wabsworth. "How else did we come into being?"

The Wabbit hops with Marco Mengoni

When the friends turned round, they were in for a shock. "Marco!" sighed Lapinette. "Signor Mengoni?" said the Wabbit. "I'm captivated by your singing meaow!" purred Skratch. "What are you doing here in the Late Tunnel?" asked Wabsworth from the back. "Perché tu sarai sempre il mio solo destino," said Marco, "voglio soltanto amarti senza mai nessun freno.*" "Nice of you to say so, Marco," said Nine the Tram. "Would you like some sand for your brakes?" Marco chuckled. "What am I doing here exactly?" "You've become entangled with us," said Lapinette. "It's a quantum thing." Marco wrinked his nose. "But I'm late for my concert." "Oh, don't worry," said the Wabbit, "you're in the Late Tunnel. You can just pop up later and no-one will ever know you were late." Wabsworth waved his paws urgently. "That's why we're entangled!" Marco looked round."Who are these creatures outside?" "These are the reggae creatures!" said the Wabbit. "Reggae creatures? There's your entanglement answer!" said Wabsworth. Marco nodded and hummed a tune. "We feel it in the one drop; we're lucky!" "For we still got time to rap," harmonised the Wabbit. "And we making the one stop," meaowed Skratch. "And we fillin' the gap," sang Lapinette. "Che pazienza!*" muttered Nine.

[* Because you'll always be my only destiny, I just want to love you without any brakes

* Give me patience!]

7. The Wabbit in the Flash Frame

"But how do we get to the Late Tunnel?" asked Lapinette. "This way!" said Nine, the Number Nine Tram and he jumped off the bridge. "Aaaaagh!" shouted Wabsworth as the sky turned black and buildings stood out like pop up pictures. The river churned as Nine plunged beneath the surface. "Don't people see that?" asked Skratch. "Vaguely" said Nine. "Oh, people can be quite unaware," smiled Lapinette. "I think they see it but they don't believe it," said the Wabbit, "then in a twenty-fifth of a second we've gone." "Like a flash frame!" said Skratch. "We'll be there in a flash!" said Nine, "so please relax and soon we'll be in the grey zone." "Let me get this exactly right," said Wabsworth. "If we're late, we can stay in the Late Tunnel?" "Then we materialise somewhere ahead, appearing to have maintained our schedule," said the Wabbit and he clapped his paws in delight. Wabsworth looked a little worried. "I don't know Wabbit, In physics you get nothing for nothing." "Sometimes you get less," laughed Lapinette. "What is nothing anyway?" asked Skratch. "There is no such thing as nothing," said Wabsworth. There was a sudden hiss of compressed air. "Except in the Grey Zone," said Nine.

6. The Wabbit arranges a Trip

The Wabbit made a call and within moments, Nine, the Number 9 Tram rumbled into sight. Skratch the Cat pointed to Nine's rear and the Wabbit was aghast. "My goodness Nine, where did you get the graffiti?" "The Saturday football run," said Nine. The Wabbit shook his head sadly but ushered everyone on board. "Where's Wabsworth? He's late." "Here he comes now," said Lapinette. "I went for tickets," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit shook his head again. "We're going to the Late Tunnel and tickets don't exist for this zone." "Well, you never know," said Wabsworth. Nine made a hiss of compressed air. "There are no inspectors in the Late Tunnel," he said. "Please take your seats." "Is there any food? asked Wabsworth. "I have some small Jamaican dumplings in plastic packs," said Nine. The Wabbit scowled because his aversion to dumplings was well known. "We can always use them as ammunition," he quipped and he firmly waved a paw towards Nine. Lapinette hesitated. "What's the Late Tunnel like?" "Relaxing," said the Wabbit. The friends took their seats as advised and reggae music filled the tram. "Who's singing?" asked Skratch. The Wabbit effected a knowledgeable stance. "Eek-A-Mouse!" he smiled. "Where?" yelled Skratch. 

5. The Wabbit sees Doubles

The friends waited until the hop-on hop-off bus reached Lingotto, then dived round the back of the shopping centre. The Wabbit nudged Skratch. "I told you so!" he murmured. "Told me what? replied Skratch. "There was more to come," said the Wabbit, pointing with a trembling paw. "Have you ever seen anything like it?" "In a nightmare," said Skratch, "I once dreamed we were all ghosts who haunted shopping centres until the end of time." The Wabbit shuddered. Wabsworth flicked his ears. "They're not ghosts exactly." Skratch looked at the Wabbit. The Wabbit looked back, then turned to Wabsworth. "What do you mean exactly?"  Wabsworth's ears flicked again. "I'm picking up a strange signal that suggests they're partially entangled." "Entangled with what?" asked the Wabbit. "Entangled with us," said Wabsworth. "Well I don't want to be entangled," said Skratch, "I'm against it. And that cat is all wrong." Wabsworth's ears quivered. "It's something to do with the Wabbit." The Wabbit flinched. "Wabbit, have you been anywhere strange lately?" Now the Wabbit shrugged defensively. "Only the Late Tunnel." Wabsworth's brain whirred. "Can you get us back there?" I suppose I can," said the Wabbit. "Do you have any spare lunch vouchers?"

4. The Wabbit & the Giant Drink

The Wabbit, Wabsworth and Skratch the cat hopped on the hop-on hop-off bus and acting on advice from a secret source, waited patiently for it to reach Palazzo Madama. Wabsworth insisted on paying for three tickets even though the Wabbit had a pefectly amicable arrangment with the driver. The Wabbit shook his head sadly. "That will do for 24 hours," explained Wabsworth. "We might need more time." "You might be right." Skratch pointed to the street. "Just look at that!" The Wabbit gazed in amazement as a giant can of his favourite drink materialised in the street. "It's crystallised," said Wabsworth. "Maybe someone left it too long in a freezer." The bus stopped for quite a while because traffic had come to a standstill. "Shall we get off?" asked Skratch. "No," said the Wabbit. "I think there's more to come." A whirring sound came from Wabsworth and the Wabbit looked round. "It's my positronic memory," said Wabsworth. "It's reminding me it's time for a snack." "But you're an android," puzzled Skratch. "That doesn't mean I don't get hungry," said Wabsworth, "so what shall we have to drink?" "Let's hop off and have an aperitivo," suggested the Wabbit. "Don't these buses have bars?" asked Skratch.

3. Skratch foregrounds the Signifier

Acting on information received, the Wabbit and his android double, Wabsworth, hurried to Via Pianezza to meet Skratch. "Skratch!" shouted the Wabbit. "What's with the sign?" Skratch looked very relieved, but smiled all the same. "Wabbit, you know perfectly well that a sign doesn't really exist. It is merely a concept." "It looks like quite a heavy concept," said Wabsworth. Skratch winked at Wabsworth. "It appeared from nowhere," he said. "It materialised?" suggested the Wabbit. "No," said Skratch, shaking his head. "It kind of swam into focus." The Wabbit and Wabsworth looked at each other, then Wabsworth turned to Skratch. "Things have been disappearing," he explained, "and they lose focus first." They thought in silence for a while, but the Wabbit was the first to speak. "Objects are disappearing," he said raising a paw.  Everyone nodded. "And objects are appearing," he added, raising another paw. Everyone nodded. The Wabbit spread his paws wide. "But they are not the same objects!" "That's obvious, Wabbit," purred Skratch. Now Wabsworth looked at Skratch. "What are you doing with the signifier?" "Taking it back to Cine Spezia in Via Nizza," said Skratch. "That's an adult cinema," exclaimed the Wabbit. "Is it?" said Skratch. "I thought it was experimental."

2. The Wabbit and the Vanishing Objects

The Wabbit met his android double, Wabsworth, at the Palace to discuss the question of the disappearing objects - but things were already out of control. "Thank goodness you're here Wabbit!" yelled Wabsworth. "I've been trying to keep things from vanishing by standing on them, but I just end up on the floor." The Wabbit watched a piece of mosaic go out of focus and tried to grab it, but it floated into the air, became transparent and disappeared. "We have to be more organised," said Wabsworth, "or the whole city will dispppear and us with it." "What!" shouted the Wabbit. "Have any of our friends vanished?" "Not yet," replied Wabsworth. "But Lapinette's lost her whole wardrobe." The Wabbit cringed. "I'll bet she's hopping mad, Anything else?" "Wabsworth lurched down from a rapidly fading artefact and stared at the Wabbit. "She said your secret stash of Irn Bru lemonade had gone." The Wabbit turned pale. "This means war!" he shouted. He shook a paw at the ceiling and paced the length of the room. "The laws of physics say these things will show up somewhere." he decided. "What kind of somewhere?" asked Wabsworth. "The middle of somewhere," said the Wabbit.

1. The Wabbit visits his Desk

The Wabbit paid a visit to his desk, a fairly unusual occurrence because the Wabbit hated paperwork. It was littered with the remains of an old project and everything seemed to be as he left it. The Wabbit rummaged a bit. "It's not precisely as I left it," he murmured to himself. Now Lapinette had put assignment instructions somewhere, but she usually used email. So the Wabbit tipped and tapped and there it was - in his inbox, labelled "Alice, Bob and Eve" which was their secret code for secret messages. The Wabbit left it where it was for a moment and scanned the desk again. "I'm sure I left a something here and now it's gone." The Wabbit knew the removal of an object was unlikely since the facility was top secure and the cleaners never came near his desk, fearing booby traps. "Perhaps the something got inside something else," thought the Wabbit. He flicked through a few books, then pressed a series of keys for double layer decryption and opened his mail.

To: Commander Wabbit: From: Wabbit Command. Reference: Disappearing things. Message: Things have been going out of focus and disappearing. Please rectify. 

The Wabbit looked at the mail and as he thought about the problem, the message went out of focus, then disappeared ...

The Wabbit in the Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit found Lapinette and Skratch the Cat at the Fiat Caffè in Lingotto. He was right on time because the bread had arrived. So he slid into a seat and clutched his bread possessively. "Hello Wabbit!" Skratch had just had his fur trimmed and he studied himself in the mirror. "Do you like my new Runaway Train t-shirt? I couldn't find anything about a tram." "I do like that movie," said the Wabbit. "But life isn't like a film." "Good thing too," said Skratch, "it would be an incredibly long movie and no-one would watch." Now the Wabbit smiled. "Not even if Andy Warhol made it?" Skratch made a long snoring noise then flinched from the withering glance of Lapinette. Now the Wabbit leaned forward and spoke to Lapinette. "Anything on the wire?" he asked. "What wire?" asked Lapinette innocently. "You know," said the Wabbit, "anything in the offing? What transpires?" Lapinette pretended to look puzzled, so the Wabbit addressed Skratch. "What's going down?" he muttered. Skratch grinned at the mirror. "You gotta chill. So take it easy. Put up your paws." But the Wabbit's paws were itching for another adventure. "I need a new assignment," he shrugged. "Details are on your desk," smiled Lapinette.

8. The Wabbit and the End of the Line

The Wabbit dropped the Reggae creatures at the dance hall in Via Nizza and drove Nine, the Number Nine Tram into Porta Nuova station where it squeezed beside a Big Red Train. Now Nine looked massive and railway passengers looked confused. The Wabbit paid no attention and hopped off. "Goodbye Nine and thanks," he cried. "I learned a lot!" Now he hopped his way along the platform, wondering what to do next. The Wabbit was disappointed that his tram ride was over and he made a face. He was about to encounter what he most disliked - between adventures ennui. He hated the lull that came with any kind of interim. "You can't always be having exciting adventures," he told himself. Suddenly he heard the hissing of compressed air and the clang of a bell, so he turned. "Life is an adventure," Commander Wabbit," shouted Nine. "There's something new around every corner!" The Wabbit grinned and thought of his friends. "Probably they're waiting for me at the Adventure Caffè," he thought. "I've such a lot to tell them." "Commander!" shouted Nine. The Wabbit turned again and Nine let off a hiss of compressed air. "You need a ticket the next time!"