The Wabbit's Bunnyman Hallowe'en

In a break from the usual venue, the Wabbit invited his team to a bunker, deep in the mountains. The cave was lined with warning signs and radiation suits. With a sinister smile he pressed a button and a projector sprung to life. Lapinette squealed with delight. "A Hallowe'en movie!" The image flickered to life with a title card which read, "Bunnyman: Study Extract." The Wabbit touched the pause button and grinned. Skratch arrived together with Wabsworth. "Moving with the times?" The Wabbit's paw hovered over the pause button. "Everything changes." Skratch's meaow echoed down the cavern. "No axe?" Wabsworth nodded. "A chainsaw is always part of the current mode." The Wabbit hit the pause button. Footsteps sounded. The Bunnyman loomed into view. His image flickered on the roof. "I am the Bunnyman!" he leered. Lapinette drew close to the image. Her paw touched the image. "Yeuch" it's wet. "Just condensation," said the Wabbit. She looked closer. It was covered in blood. The Bunnyman leaned out with his chainsaw. Lapinette screamed as it protruded forward and sprayed blood. "I am the Bunnyman, and I'll get you rabbits." The Wabbit switched the projector off, but the image stayed. Then they heard footsteps again from down the cavern. "I live here," continued the echoing voice. "I'll be coming for you." The Wabbit tried the projector again but it was jammed. Finally the image faded. Skratch laughed. "Persistence of vision!"

10. The Wabbit and Ground Tremors

It burst through the ground, scattering rocks and spraying earth. Then it looked from left to right. Its giant eye became even bigger then swivelled reversed. It made a series of short grunts and moved forward then back. The grunts seemed disappointed. The Wabbit signalled for silence, but the creature sensed it. It let out a shriek and moved backward into the rocks. They all ducked behind the parapet. Somehow satisfied, the creature sank back into the earth. The Wabbit waited. When a suitable period of time had elapsed, he spoke. "What did you notice?" Lapinette piped up. "No mesh over the eye." "And it made a shrieking sound," said Wabsworth. "More articulated," said Skratch. "I thought it gave up too easily," said the Wabbit. "I think we're dealing with a child," offered Wabsworth. Lapinette shuddered. "Where there's a child, there are parents." Everyone shuddered. The Wabbit climbed to a higher spot and surveilled the area. "Could be anywhere. I'll contact Susan. Maybe she can find our new friend." Skratch gave a short meaow. "New friend?" Lapinette grinned. "He's of the dragon persuasion." The Wabbit spoke gently into his radio. "Hello Susan. Search for and establish contact with a black dragon. Meet here." "Copy," said Susan. At that moment howls and shrieks rent the air. "Oh-oh," said the Wabbit. "They can detect radio signals?" asked Lapinette. "Maybe they're going through a phase," quipped the Wabbit.

9. The Wabbit & Lapinette at the Old Fort

"I knew we'd find them here!" said Wabsworth. Skratch was still groggy after Susan's Drunken Rabbit manoeuvre. "Shh, we'll shurprise them." Lapinette and the Wabbit had super hearing and couldn't be surprised. "Skratch and Wabsworth have arrived," murmured the Wabbit. Lapinette shrugged. "About time. See anything else," she asked. "Nope," replied the Wabbit. He scanned the horizon. "You can come out now," he said loudly. Wabsworth and Skratch emerged looking rueful. "Bring any food?" said Lapinette. The Wabbit's tummy rumbled immediately. Skratch unearthed a somewhat furry mint lozenge. "Save it for the enemy," grumbled the Wabbit. Wabsworth's ears pricked up. "Incoming." The Wabbit couldn't see or hear anything. But he relied on Wabsworth. "I can hear it," said Lapinette. Skratch indicated that he too could hear something. The Wabbit picked up a low rumble. The ground began to tremble. "It's from beneath us," he yelled. Rocks fell. Then it all stopped. "Curious," he whispered. he motioned for everyone to stay still and be silent. He had no knowledge of any graboids in the area - but that didn't mean there were none. He picked up a rock and threw it. It hit the ground with a smash. A blue metal eye poked through the dirt and looked around. "Everyone! Jump on the parapet," shouted the Wabbit.  

8. Skratch & Wabsworth seek the Wabbit

Skratch and Wabsworth puzzled their way to a precise location. Susan had a fix on the Wabbit and Lapinette, so Wabsworth piloted while Skratch scouted. Then Skratch pounced down like lightning. He shielded his eyes from the light. He turned and looked up at a scorching sun the like of which he'd never seen. He looked down. His body was bending to the right. "I'm getting distortion here on the ground." Wabsworth wasn't experiencing any. Susan confirmed she wasn't either. "Looks like that sun affects only organic creatures," he shouted. Skratch bent his body in an exotic fashion. "Interesting," he meaowed. "Any sign of the Wabbit and Lapinette?" shouted Wabsworth. Skratch prowled around, sniffing. "Some signs of recent conflict, well covered." Wabsworth consulted his electronic kit. "Evidence of the Ice Mice." Skratch nodded. He bounded back into the biplane. "Let's execute a search pattern." Wabsworth pulled up the joystick. "I thought you were more of an on-the-ground feline." Skratch grinned. "I think of flying as a series of long pounces." Susan chimed in. "Shall we perform the drunken rabbit manoeuvre." Skratch giggled. "Oh please. Pass some cat grass and the sick bag."

7. The Wabbit and the Dragon Ride

"Let's get them!" The Dragon scooped the Wabbit and Lapinette up and with a flapping of wings, took off. They could just be seen far above the rooftops until they vanished into the clouds. Lapinette clung on for all she was worth and the Wabbit did the same. The Dragon bellowed as he went. "Get them! Rend them! Chew them!" The Wabbit tried to see, but all was obscured by the dark cloud that hung over the landscape. He could only hear the steady tick-tock flap of the Dragon's wings. Lapinette screwed up her eyes and tried to peer down but had no luck. She yelled to the Wabbit. "See anything?" The Wabbit heard her voice and called back. "Not a sausage. Hang on." He activated his supersonic glasses. Now he could make out the boulders of the Ice Mice fort. Tiny figures moved around. "We're heading for the fort. But we're high." The Dragon swooped round on a wing tip. The Wabbit felt a wave of nausea and switched back to normal vision. "I'm not sure how far. Close I think." Wind rushed past his ears, but it slowed. Then they rode the thermals together until the ground levelled beneath them. The garrison came into view. Fire snarled from the Dragon's mouth and belched round the fort. Smoke poured from inside. Ice Mice scurried for cover. Saucers took off at speed. The Wabbit grinned. "First round to us, I think." Lapinette stared at the glowering sky. "How many rounds are we playing?"

6. The Wabbit and the Dragon's City

The Wabbit swung round as the sky darkened. He heard the roar first. It moved rooftops. Steeples shook and bells tolled. He saw a creature rise, dark against a piebald sky. Wings flapped slowly and each flap brought a beat like a tom-tom drum. The Dragon gazed down. "I'm awe inspiring," it roared. The Wabbit looked at Lapinette and she returned his gaze. She swivelled and stared at the Dragon. She shrugged. "Awe inspiring? Yes. We can't think of anything better." The Dragon was astonished. "You're supposed to be terrified." The Wabbit grunted. "We're seldom terrified." "Bemused, maybe," said Lapinette. The Wabbit agreed. He nodded. "Wryly amused, baffled." The Dragon spat a driblet of fire. "Oh," he said. His wings drooped. The Wabbit smiled. "But maybe you could clear something up?" The Dragon brightened considerably at being asked his opinion. "Who are the creatures in the flying saucers?" The dragon hissed. "Awful fellows. They bring impossible new colours without a by your leave, changing the environment, redwashing as they go." "Breadwashing!" misheard the Wabbit. Lapinette tapped him on the back. "No Wabbit. Unclear and misleading green environmental claims." "I knew this was about the environment," chuckled the Wabbit. "It is the Ice Mice! Misleading us by changing colours." The dragon looked puzzled. "Who are these Ice Mice of whom you speak?" It was Lapinette who took her turn to hiss. "You'll know them when you see them." 

[Dragon by Annette Pendlebury  Pixabay]

5. The Wabbit and the All-out Attack

Lapinette and the Wabbit tracked the source of the trouble using Artificial Intelligence - and a fat lot of good it did them. Despite changing colour. the Old Abandoned Fort had been captured. The Wabbits were spotted immediately, and all hell broke loose. "Incoming!" yelled the Wabbit. "Take cover!" shouted Lapinette. Three saucers rose from behind the hill and delivered as much fire as the Wabbit had ever taken. "Just like the old days?" gasped the Wabbit. "Not quite!" said Lapinette. "They look like old and venerable friends the Ice Mice," said the Wabbit. "But they're not the friendly enemies we once knew," said Lapinette. "Big trouble," groaned the Wabbit. "Woe and tribulation," responded Lapinette. She ducked as what looked like an asteroid flew past her head. "That was no asteroid!" shouted Lapinette, "that was an exploderoid!" There was crump to the left and another to the right. Following the explosions, an orange-red colour remained, unlike any colour that could be explained. "Same tactics as the Ice Mice use," observed the Wabbit. "With more fire power, more sophistication," said Lapinette. Three detonations boomed to the rear. It appeared to signal the end of the attack but the Wabbit and Lapinette took no chances and hunkered down. "I don't think they're firing at us." Lapinette shrugged. "Then who?" asked the Wabbit. Lapinette pointed a pointy paw. "No," gasped the Wabbit ...

[ Meteor and trail: GingerMarie12. Pixabay https://pixabay.com/illustrations/meteor-falling-star-asteroid-cosmos-6406580/]

4. The Wabbit and the Colour from Space

Lovely Lapinette and the Wabbit responded to a call from Pallazzo Madama in the centre of town. There had been odd sightings. More than odd, some said. They headed to the third floor and Lapinette stood in front of a shaded window. Nothing happened for some time. Then it did. The sighting was an asteroid and it exploded over the rooftops. It vanished. But it showered roofs with tiny particles - or so it appeared. "Did you see it?" Lapinette was fascinated. "I certainly did." The Wabbit was grumpy. "So what the binky was that?" Lapinette said it was an asteroid, but the Wabbit wasn't so sure. "It's an exploderoid," he said firmly. "No such thing," laughed Lapinette. The Wabbit looked grumpily around at the display stands. He didn't like ornate whatnots. "These ornate whatnots seemed to have turned black." "I think they're meant to be black," said Lapinette. "Are they?" said the Wabbit in surprise. "They're very old and valuable," responded Lapinette, "and belonged to the duchy of somewhere important." "That's not important right now," said the Wabbit. "Where is our exploderoid from? I think it's responsible for all the recent incidents." Lapinette thought for a minute. "Did you note the strange colour, not quite red?" The Wabbit thrust his paws in his fur. "I did, it was nothing I've seen before." "Not even in a cocktail," murmured Lapinette.

3. The Wabbit and the Tram Accident

The Wabbit and Lapinette headed home. But on the way a tram came off the rails. Normally that would be fine and fixable, but it was an awkward corner. The tram careered towards them and one of the carriages fell over with a thunderous smash, barely missing the Wabbit. The Wabbit picked himself up from the grass and helped Lapinette to extricate her kilt from the wreckage. She brushed herself down, adjusted her kilt and heaved a sigh. "That was no accident." The Wabbit checked for driver and passengers. "It's entirely on its own," he murmured. "Aimed at us," added Lapinette. The Wabbit stomped the length of the tram and back. "It's something to do with that fire yesterday. I can't tell how it's connected but it is." Lapinette knelt bedside the tram and sniffed underneath. "Doesn't smell like a tram. No electrical odours, no braking sand." "Watch out!" yelled the Wabbit. The tram lurched to the side. Lapinette jumped out of the way. The wreckage began to break into tiny pieces. Finally there was little left. Lapinette sifted metal filings until they too vanished. She turned to look at the Wabbit, "Curiouser and curiouser!" The Wabbit grinned. "Looks like a mystery for the Wabbit and Lapinette." Lapinette pirouetted and adopted a Nancy Drew accent. "I think we should take a walk in the fresh air and clear the cobwebs from our brains. The Wabbit grunted. "More than just cobwebs!"

2. The Wabbit and the Fire Without Heat

The Wabbit received a crackly call on his walkie talkie. The Department was anxious for him to confirm, and he set off immediately. He spoke to no-one in particular. "I think it's that mission Wabsworth was on about." Wabsworth's voice chimed in. "The second one - and you should really terminate group calls properly." The Wabbit growled "Out," and shoved the radio in his back pocket. When he arrived, Lapinette was already investigating. The fire had ravaged a pub, but things appeared strange. "Oh. You got here at last." She didn't turn her head. The Wabbit scrambled on top of the borrowed fire truck. "I hope you got a chit for this." Lapinette's voice was cool. "In your filing cabinet, under "e". "For expenses?" asked the Wabbit. "For expedite this immediately," replied Lapinette. The Wabbit paused for a moment. "Isn't that ember hot?" he asked. "That's the funny thing," mused Lapinette. "This was a raging fire this morning, but none of the ashes are remotely warm." She waved a paw through the flames. Nothing happened. "As cold as death's chill hand." The Wabbit shuddered. "I prefer cold as a dead rabbit's nose." "Now that's creepy!" Lapinette smiled and looked worried at the same time. She pointed into the distance. Similar heaps of embers lay scattered. "It appears to be spreading." "And all of them as chilly as the moon?" grinned the Wabbit. Lapinette grunted. "Chillier."

1. The Wabbit and the Electronics Store

The Wabbit bumped into Wabsworth, his android double, outside the electronics store. "Are you on special offer?" joked Wabsworth. "Very funny," replied the Wabbit. He couldn't help noticing Wabsworth's new tattoo, just at the corner of his eye. "New tat?" he countered. "They're all the rage," laughed Wabsworth. "I can fade it out and back at the touch of an internal sensor. The tattoo became invisible and reappeared. "Doesn't that defeat the purpose of permanence?" observed the Wabbit. Wabsworth selected his polychromatic programme. His tattoo flashed then switched off. "I get bored," he shrugged. The Wabbit's shoulders shook with mirth. "Any word from the Department?" Wabsworth guffawed. "You can have a choice of missions. A dull one with plenty of social and environmental meaning." He paused. The Wabbit's ears fluttered. "I've already sorted my stinky rubbish and been to the bottle bank." "Or you can choose a colourful mission with little or no social merit." The Wabbits ears rotated wildly. "The second one sounds good to me. Join us?" Wabsworth flashed his tattoo. "If you can't join them, beat them." The Wabbit laughed. "Your comedy subroutine is improving." Wabsworth leaned back. "I had a lot of fun with that." The Wabbit grimaced. "Let's go into the store. There might be gadgets." Wabsworth grinned and spread his paws. "I don't like the sound of it. Too much negative feedback." Then they laughed and laughed and laughed!

The Wabbit's famed Adventure Caffè

The team advanced on a new Adventure Caffè, which hadn't even been built yet. The Wabbit insisted that the Museo Nazionale di Risorgimento should have one and there was plenty of room. He'd picked out a suitable location and they were on their way to scout it out. Lapinette was so glad to see the Wabbit again, she threw herself at him, paws outstretched. The Wabbit maintained a stoic smile as was his way. Wabsworth showed obvious delight with the exhibition on the future of Torino and traced his paw along the calligraphy of various old adverts. A faint buzzing indicated he was storing them on his vast memory banks. What he intended to do with all the stuff he collected no-one knew, but his memory was huge and that didn't seem to matter. "Retrieval is everything," he murmured. Skratch was considering what kind of adventure the Wabbit just had. "Your ability to ingest or even engulf genres is amazing, Wabbit." The Wabbit smile was almost annoying. "It's a hybrid phenomenon of my own invention." Lapinette snorted. "High art and the Wabbit?" Wabsworth laughed and traced round an area in the display. "You set the paintings free through their own plasticity." Skratch agreed. "They left their boundaries behind." The Wabbit began to hop. Lapinette joined him. Soon they all hopped. "Are we free due to our own plasticity?" asked Lapinette. She rose gently and descended. The Wabbit stopped hopping. One by one they all became still. A dramatic hush fell. "We're certainly free of a drink until we build the new Caffè," whispered the Wabbit.

5. The Wabbit and Popular Opinion

The Wabbit shook his head and in conjunction with Tuccia, he thought of an idea. He'd canvass the viewers opinions. He borrowed a clipboard and did exactly that. He left Caravaggio's painting with an astronaut he'd just met and persuaded him to reframe and remount the painting. Then he allowed visitors to file past. In total he spoke with 180 visitors. The results were fascinating. Four people thought the astronaut was Caravaggio. Around half were convinced the Caravaggio painting was a fake but were unable to say why. Some eighty visitors held that the painting was indeed the original, pointing to the detail and fine brushwork. Two visitors had seen other versions in various countries, but liked this one better. One visitor thought that this was a fine copy using scan technology. All the same, he made a bid of several million for it. One was unhappy about his children seeing it and covered their eyes with a brochure. Another eight preferred the picture of the Wabbit but despite enquiries, couldn't find it. The Wabbit promised everyone the final results, but knew that although they were interesting, they were unsatisfactory. "Needs more research," he said. The astronaut nodded. "The last exhibit got a prosecco." "Coming up," grinned the Wabbit - and he called the bar. 

4. The Wabbit and Tuccia in the Window

"What are you up to Wabbit?" The Wabbit was fed up with waiting and took himself around the gallery. He was passing a famous sculpture that the Wabbit always called The Woman in the Window, but she was really known as Tuccia. "Nothing!" said the Wabbit cheerfully. "I've been watching you, Wabbit and you're definitely up to something." The Wabbit came clean. "I've been commissioned by the museum to see if visitors really know what they're talking about." Tuccia inclined her head. "Not many then." The Wabbit grinned. "I myself became a work of art in the process." "You think you're Ripley," said Tuccia. "From Alien?" questioned the Wabbit. "From Patricia Highsmith," smiled Tuccia. "As you well know, Wabbit." The Wabbit stuck his paws in his fur and shrugged. Now they heard voices from afar and the Wabbit went tense. "Are they looking for my image?" Tuccia listened. "Yes, and they're coming this way." They both froze. "Here he is," said an onlooker. "It's a moving exhibit. It's a miracle!" The Wabbit groaned. "I heard him," they yelled, "I heard him!" The onlookers were shouting with wild abandon. "Have some decorum," frowned Tuccia. "She speaks too," yelled the crowd, "A double miracle." The Wabbit was fed up. He addressed the gathering. "A miracle is primarily a Christian concept. But you can make us an offering." Tuccia laughed. "Go to the bar and get two glasses of prosecco." 

3. The Wabbit becomes the Picture

The Wabbit's fur could hold many things. But when he took out the object out, it became the original size. He struggled a bit, but he was in the right room and no-one was about. He offered the painting up then slapped a paw to his head. It was back to front. With a bit of effort, he righted it then attached the fixings. Finally, it was on the wall. He stood back. It looked as if it had always been there. Someone was coming so he turned to look at a different painting. An attendant passed it by as if it had always been there and disappeared into another room. "Phew," gasped the Wabbit. Then more people arrived and gathered around. They looked the painting up and down and discussed its merits. Then one saw him. The Wabbit froze flat against a wall. "Early depiction of a wabbit," said the viewer. "Late sixteenth or early seventeenth century," nodded another. "Just look at the brushwork." The studied him for a while. "The work of one of Caravaggio's students?" suggested another. "Lovely blues, just look at the pigment," said yet another. They gazed for a while. "Let's view the others and come back" said the first. They moved on. The Wabbit saw his chance and crept quietly away. The viewers returned but the wabbit had gone. "It's been stolen," they gasped, "raise the alarm." A frenzy broke out, but the Wabbit was far off in the cafeteria, sipping a Prosecco and chuckling. But his plan was far from complete ...