10. The Wabbit and the Surprise Action

The Wabbit had miscalculated. The opposition - or both oppositions - were much better organised than he'd thought. They had commandeered the tops of buildings and were throwing balconies down in the street. Instead of watching them demolish each other he found himself dodging brickwork. He clung onto a road sign. Rommy was incensed. "Do you know it's my birthday today?" He growled and his fur spiked up. His eyes flared in a colour the Wabbit had never seen. "Who do they think I am?" said Rommy. A balcony whizzed past his nose. "Wile E. Coyote?" suggested the Wabbit. He ducked and dodged and complained all at the same time. "I suggest we take cover and let these rompicoglioni run out of steam," said Rommy. "I know where," said the Wabbit, "follow me." He hopped to other side of the road and down an alleyway. Passers-by dodged the hail of brickwork but when they saw Rommy they fled as their legs could carry them. The Wabbit and Rommy found themselves in a place that sold washing machines. "Best to wait here," whispered the Wabbit. "Do we have to buy anything," asked Rommy. "Not unless you're still in the market for consumer durables," grinned the Wabbit. "They play rough these Agents," observed Rommy. "Not as rough as us," retorted the Wabbit. "They got no respect," added Rommy. "So we have to teach them a lesson they won't forget," replied the Wabbit. He thought for a minute. "I usually kaboom them." Rommy didn't like the sound of that. "We should rend them limb from limb." The Wabbit nodded. "In what location should we rend?"

9. The Wabbit sets Rommy on the City

Acting as a decoy, Rommy the Wolf set off into the city. It was all his idea and the Wabbit was rather sceptical. The Agents were terrified of Rommy and so it seemed unlikely they'd be drawn out. But Rommy insisted. His paws struck fire from the cobbles and his eyes glared a dull, threatening red. "I'm a God," he said. "They won't be able to resist me." Rommy was at his most frightening and the Wabbit felt the heat in his fur. Rommy didn't move quickly. His pace was leisurely. His head searched from side to side. He glared into shop doorways. "Come out you Agents. Dare to fight the Mighty Rommy! Come out and be seen." No-one stirred. Nothing moved. The Wabbit followed Rommy by hopping along the rooftops. Together they made their way through Rome. It was as deserted as the Wabbit had ever seen it. Rommy growled softly. "I'll mince your chops, you verminous crew." But it was all to no avail. So Rommy began to inflate. His paws were twice their normal size. His fur shone like a thousand diamonds. When he bared his teeth, the very buildings flinched back. Then the Wabbit saw something. It was the Agents. Their horrid ears poked out from the eaves of far-off buildings. They were grouping for an attack, but it wasn't clear at what the assault was aimed. "Interesting," murmured the Wabbit. He called softly to Rommy and made a circling motion with his paw. Rommy nodded and disappeared round the back of some old houses. Now the Wabbit could see the Agents. They were comprised of two hostile groups - hostile to each other. The Wabbit grinned. "Major Spitlove!" He called to Rommy. "Back off Rommy, our enemies are making mistakes."

[Wolf by Steve Felberg at Pixabay]

8. The Wabbit and the Outraged Wolf

The Wabbit rounded the corner to find his plan had gone slightly askew. A group of Agents had assembled at a refuse dumpster and were making fun of the picture. Rommy advanced on them with venom. He roared and they scattered like billiard balls. One fainted dead away. Another was transfixed. Rommy's hackles rose and his mouth revealed devilish sharp teeth. The Wabbit waved a paw. "Rommy, this isn't in the plan!" Rommy roared again. "What plan? These foul creatures were abusing a wolf image. They must pay." The Agents of Rabit managed to dust themselves off and run away. "I'm pleased to see that the mighty cult of the wolf continues," said Rommy. The Wabbit sighed. "That's a garbage dumpster Rommy. The painting is part of an anti-graffiti, policy." Rommy grimaced. "It's the principle of the thing. Wolves will not be treated like chaff in the wind." The Wabbit knew Rommy was mixing his metaphors but felt it politic not to tell him. "I met with Major Spitlove at Testaccio - where you're supposed to be." "I was roaming," said Rommy. "Well good for you," said the Wabbit. "Spitlove is sowing dissension in the ranks. We must be ready to take advantage." "I think we already did," growled Rommy. They watched the Agents vanish into the city. The Wabbit felt that this might be in their favour after all - and said so. Rommy nodded. "They weren't expecting a God of Rome." The Wabbit grinned. "Then they're very happy or deeply unhappy!" "I shall cause them to come to my temple," said Rommy. "I didn't know you had one," joked the Wabbit.

7. The Wabbit and Major Spitlove

The Wabbit stood in an old cowshed in Testaccio and waited patiently. When Major Spitlove emerged from the shadows. He had a broad smile on his face, which was unusual to say the least. The Wabbit scowled. It would never do to smile at Spitlove and he was anxious to keep up appearances. Spitlove's smile became broader. "All going according to plan, Commander." The Wabbit's frown was as frowny as could be. "They buy it then." Spitlove nodded. "The whole body of Agents are thrilled. I won paws down. I am now leader of the New Model Rabit Faction - and Commander in Chief of the whole shebang." The Wabbit smiled a faint smile and revealed most of his 28 teeth. "That will keep them busy for a while." Spitlove had been a double agent for as long as anyone could recall. But boundaries were boundaries and the Wabbit wasn't expecting familiarity. "That joke Skratch suggested went down well," said Spitlove. The Wabbit's ears swung back and formed a question mark. "Why did the secret agent cross the road?" asked Spitlove. "He wasn't on your side," shrugged the Wabbit with a sigh. "I'm very popular with the rank and file," said Spitlove. "I'll bet," said the Wabbit. They strolled to the gate. "How's that wolf?" asked Spitlove. "Settling in," replied the Wabbit. "A formidable ally," said Spitlove. The Wabbit nodded in agreement. "Lie low for now, and wait for my command." Major Spitlove leaned back. "Remind me. What is your command?" "I haven't thought of it yet," said the Wabbit. 

6. The Wabbit and Terni's Reunion

The Wabbit and Rommy the Wolf wandered out to the Wabbit's favourite mast. The mast was sadly in need of a repaint but the Wabbit liked it. There he often met Terni the Food dragon - and true to form Terni came swooping down. Flame billowed from his pepper nose as he let out a blood curling yell. The Wabbit grinned with all of his 28 teeth. "Rommy, meet Terni the Food Dragon." Rommy's eyes opened wide with delight. "Terni, is it really you?" Terni hovered. "Rommy - I thought you were dead." Rommy blinked several times. "I thought the same of you. Didn't the clergy get you?" Terni somersaulted backwards. "I was much too clever for them. Now they eat out of my claw." Rommy muttered. "Clerical fools." The Wabbit was astonished. "When you two have quite finished, we have work to do." Rommy bathed in the heat from Terni's nose, turning round to get an even tan. "The Wabbit tells me he's having a spot of bother with his enemies." "Oh, is it to do with Spitlove?" roared Terni. "The Wabbit turned him, but I heard dragons' whispers indicating a change of leadership." Rommy matched Terni's roar. "Let's plot. I love plotting. But my troops are all gone." The Wabbit thought this was a good time to summon his own troops. "Why don't you two sort it out - since you're so pally. I'll round up my forces and meet you at Testaccio later." Terni and Rommy were lost in conversation and the Wabbit took it as read. So he quietly padded off for the bus. "Rommy hasn't met Tipsy," he murmured.

5. The Wabbit introduces an Old Friend.

The Wabbit and Rommy the Wolf ambled to the Largo di Torre Argentina. The Wabbit waved a paw. "And this is .." "I am Antiquicat," interrupted a cat. "He's my oldest friend in Rome," said the Wabbit. Rommy stared, then exclaimed. "I imagined you rather more orange." The cat meaowed. "I've had many lives and am quite ancient. I am therefore obliged to change my fur from time to time." The Wabbit grinned. "It's a Buddhist thing." Rommy looked round and saw the sign. "What's with the Ides of March. It's not March, it's April. So can we stop bewaring?" Antiquicat purred. "I do like your sense of humour. Are you an acquaintance of the Wabbit?" They settled down for a chat. "The Wabbit is introducing me to his friends," said Rommy. "I didn't know he had any," replied Antiquicat. He meaowed and screeched and held his sides. The Wabbit smiled amiably. Antiquicat continued although he could hardly speak for laughing, "The Wabbit comes to me for advice when he's run out of ideas." Rommy nodded. "He's a character all right." They chatted until it got late. Then talk turned to serious matters. "What about the Agents of Rabit?" asked Antiquicat, "I hear they have a new leader." The Wabbit lowered his voice. "Do tell." Antiquicat's voice was merely a squeak. "They call him ... Major Spitlove." The Wabbit could hardly be heard, his voice was so low. "He's one of ours." Rommy growled softly. "Wabbit, you have a double agent in the enemy camp?" The Wabbit nodded. Rommy snarled. "I like the sound of this. Just like the old days." The Wabbit tugged Rommy's fur, "Wanna join us?" Rommy suddenly rolled back and forward on the sidewalk, paws in the air. "We'll have a howl of a time!"

4. The Wabbit and the Wolf's Acquisition

The Wabbit and Rommy the Wolf were fed up with consumer durables, so they took a walk through the New Testaccio Market. They glanced at this, and they glanced at that. As usual it was predominantly ladies clothes. Rommy didn't seem to care and suddenly he lunged, snatched a shoe and casually padded off with it. "They see it, but they don't believe it," he growled. The Wabbit was officially appalled. "You can't just take things," he exclaimed. "I can," said Rommy, "I'm a Roman God." The Wabbit looked askance. "I think you'll find things have changed around here. Anyway, what do you want with ladies shoes?" "Spoils of war," said Rommy. The Wabbit thought of Wabsworth and quietly slipped a few notes on the market stall. They strolled on. "Are you going to wear it?" asked the Wabbit. "I'd look a right charlie wearing it," said Rommy, "I'm going to keep it in my collection of seized footwear." The Wabbit grinned. "Wouldn't you prefer a sausage?" He watched for Rommy's reaction. "What kind of sausage?" asked Rommy. "Vegetarian sausage?" suggested the Wabbit. Rommy turned up his nose. "I'd prefer a nice steak," he said. "Did you know Testaccio used to be the livestock market?" asked the Wabbit. "I know everything about Rome," said Rommy. "Then I suppose you know it's been turned into an art exhibit?" The Wabbit waited because he knew what was coming. "Hideous, hideous, hideous," said Rommy, "First year art students with too much money." The Wabbit thought about it. "The kind that did your mural?" Rommy snarled. "A bunch of baristas!" The Wabbit laughed. "Let's get a coffee."

3. The Wabbit and the Wolf go Shopping.

Rommy the wolf said he wanted to a look round the shops. "People will think I'm a big dog," he said. "Say woof," suggested the Wabbit. "WOOF said Rommy. "Needs practice," observed the Wabbit. They padded around the store. "What about one of these TVs?" asked the Wabbit. "It has many initials." Rommy looked the television up and down. "The upscaling isn't great. I can see the pixels." The Wabbit raised an eye and flapped an ear. Rommy laughed. "I'm a mural don't forget. I know about all manner of artistic stuff." The Wabbit was surprised. "What's your favourite show?" "Wolverine," said Rommy, "His past is shrouded in mystery." The Wabbit snorted. "Rather like yourself." Rommy growled. "Not one bit. There are so many stories about me I can hardly believe it." The Wabbit stood with his paws out, "You're supposed to be human." "Do me a favour," said Rommy, "That would be no fun. Trust the media to get everything the wrong way round." The Wabbit nodded. He could hardly disagree. "You founded Rome?" Rommy laughed. "I found Rome more like. What a terrible state it was in. Years of work it took me and my brother. Years." The Wabbit chortled. "How do you find it now?" "Awful," said Rommy. The Wabbit was lost in thought for a moment. "What about your brother Remus?" Rommy looked at the Wabbit. "He went to the other side." The Wabbit nodded again and shook his head, "It happens to the best of us." "I saw the birds you know, and that was it," said Rommy. The Wabbit made a flapping motion with his paws. "Birds," he shrugged, Rommy's fur stood on end, and he growled. "I hate cardinals the most."
[Wolf by Alexus at Pixabay]

2. The Wabbit and the Wolf of Testaccio

The Wabbit wandered through Testaccio with nothing particular in mind. He was scouting out territory just to see what he could see, and he glanced over his shoulder at a mural he particularly liked. "Hello Wabbit!" called a voice. The Wabbit sometimes felt he could never be alone. But he didn't want to be rude to the wolf. "Oh hello," he replied. "See anything you liked at the market?" asked the wolf. The Wabbit shrugged. It was a nice market and he was fond of it, but it didn't have a suitable range of unobtainable items. "No old jazz records from 1951," he said. "It's not that kind of market," came the reply. The Wabbit shrugged again, "I did buy a bottle of  olive oil with chillies and I have it here in my fur." The wolf seemed to turn. "That's the spirit," he said, "It refreshes the limbs. Just look what it did for my neck." The Wabbit laughed. The wolf looked down and smiled. "Did you meet these pesky garlic sellers?" The Wabbit nodded with vigour. "They're from the Garlic Tendency," said the wolf, "we can't get rid of them." The Wabbit was astonished. "Not even you! Are you stuck there?" "No," said the wolf, "I can get down. But I like it here and no-one bothers me much." The Wabbit thought for a bit. "Come down and show me round. You seem to have the inside line on things." The wolf thought for a while. Then he growled. "I will! You can introduce me to your friends." The Wabbit was super pleased. "What's your name?"  "Call me Rommy," said the wolf - and he jumped down beside the Wabbit and stuck out a paw. 

1. The Wabbit and the City of Dreams

The Wabbit had just arrived on the train from Bologna. As he left the platform he cast a wry glance at the train. It wasn't Quantum. It didn't talk nor could it use lattice drive, but the Wabbit felt affectionate enough. He was anticipating a big change and he couldn't say he was entirely looking forward to it. The Department of Wabbit Affairs planned major renovations and the Wabbit had to vacate Turin to relocate in Rome. He stood and thought about it. Terni the Food Dragon was there and he might see Moloch and Panico. He was very close to Fregene for a seafood lunch and he could have some time on the beach. There were museums, theatres, art galleries - and markets of course. He might find some unobtainable items. Not too bad. It would feel like a holiday. The Wabbit reflected. He didn't really like holidays and he wrinkled his nose. There was always something unexpected happening and he had to work. He brightened. "That'd be cool," he thought. He had another look at the train. "What about the pizzas?" said the train. The Wabbit grinned as he thought of Roman pizzas. Thin crisp pizzas, no giant crusts. Potato pizzas, lots of rosemary, gnam-gnam. He paused and turned directly to the train. "Did you perchance speak to me?" The train huffed a bit and made a hydraulic sound. "I did." The Wabbit smiled. "You shouldn't speak to strange rabbits." "Everyone knows you, Commander Wabbit." The Wabbit grinned again and asked, "Wanna go for a pizza?" The train sounded its klaxon. "I have to go back to Bologna. Wanna come?" So the Wabbit hopped on board and settled in. "Don't mind if I do." He mused as the train moved off and he quoted Marcus Aurelius in a low voice. "There was a dream that was Rome ... you could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish; it was so fragile ..."

The Wabbit at his Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit was waiting for everyone to converge at the Adventure Caffè. He'd grabbed a table on the perimeter and held onto it even though everyone was a little late. Wabsworth was charged with securing the Bejeweled Rabbit and he was most pleased with himself. "Is this a copy or not?" he asked, "Is it a work of art in the age of mechanical reproduction?" The Wabbit looked sideways. "It seems to have an aura and therefore it has all the qualities of the original." Skratch arrived and was quick to point out that the idea of an original was open to question. Lapinette wrinkled her nose. "I personally have held the original. I therefore have tactile knowledge." The Wabbit grinned. "So can you tell the difference?" Lapinette thought for a minute and had to make a confession. "I really cannot say." Wabsworth laughed and gripped the Bejeweled Rabbit tightly. "In principle, works of art could always be reproduced. As an android, I can say that it is not a mechanical reproduction, but a masterly work in its own right." Skratch was anxious to make another point. "But it lacks the original's location in time and space." The Wabbit scoffed. "How do you know this isn't the original? Magically transported in time and space by the mysterious figure?" Just then the Bejeweled Rabbit spoke. "Original original. I'm the original original." They all gazed at the rabbit with their mouths open. Skratch laughed. "Magic!" Wabsworth winked. "I confess. I pressed a button on the bottom." Lapinette burst out laughing. "We've been had!" The Wabbit chortled mightily. "I think it had us all right." Skratch wanted the last word. "It can no longer be treated as it used to be. But it's an authentic reproduction, not a commodity." The Wabbit laughed. "Any chance of an authentic drink?"

9. The Wabbit and the End of the Holiday

The Wabbit and Lapinette found themselves on the surface of another planet. It was dusty and dry and the Wabbit shook grit from his fur. Lapinette looked up. "That's not the sun we started with." The Wabbit agreed and said so. He grimaced. All the same, he was glad to be out of the clutches of the mysterious chocolate rabbit. He heard a familiar throbbing. It was Quantum the Time Travelling Train - and Skratch the Cat was at the controls. The Wabbit heaved a sigh of relief as Quantum descended through a heavy gaseous atmosphere that warped everything they could see. The train hovered. There was no flat surface. "You'll have to climb aboard Commander." Skratch's voice was warped too. They picked themselves up and staggered across the rough terrain. "If one more person asks me if I enjoyed my holiday, I will personally dismember them." growled the Wabbit. He waved up at Skratch. "Did you enjoy your holiday, Commander and Lapinette?" shouted Skratch. "Yes," said the Wabbit through clenched teeth. "A break is as good as a rest," shrugged Lapinette. They turned to wave goodbye to the planet. "What about the Bejeweled Rabbits?" asked Lapinette. They heard a squeak as a rabbit popped up his head. The Wabbit grabbed it by its ears. "Holiday souvenir!" he exclaimed. "Are we going to Wablantis?" squeaked the Bejeweled Rabbit. "Not just yet," replied the Wabbit. "It's earthquake season," said Lapinette. They boarded the train. Then Quantum slipped into lattice drive ..  and vanished.

[Background picture: Planet 188753 NASA - Caltech]

8. The Wabbit and the Mystical Vortex

One second the Wabbit and Lapinette were climbing out of the tunnel and in the next they were sucked into a vortex. It was taking them to the sea, of that they were sure. But they were cruelly distorted and so were the bejeweled rabbits. The mysterious chocolate figure looked on, paws tucked into his pants as always. He was as distorted as they were, and he nodded cheerfully as the world span round. "I hope you enjoyed your holiday, Wabbit." His speech was distorted too. "I wope you enjeweled your hooliday, Wobbit." The Wabbit span round and round. His insides looped and churned. "Woooooot?" was all he could say. Lapinette looked none too happy. "Gug gug gug woot?" Her tartan frock took on a strange pattern, the like of which no-one had seen before. The bejeweled rabbits fared the worst. They spiralled and stretched out of control. Their ears became distended, and their eyes were mere black dots on a golden surface. "Where on earth are we?" shouted the Wabbit. "You're not on earth - remember?" said the chocolate figure, "This is your holiday destination. Have you had a good time?" The vortex revolved like a washing machine. The Wabbit sailed perilously close to the cavern walls before he was drawn back to the centre. Lapinette shouted something but the Wabbit couldn't hear. He had a stab at what she was saying. "Would you like to go home, Lapinette?" Lapinette nodded vigorously. The chocolate figure took his paw out of his pocket and raised it in the air. Everything stabilised. The Wabbit grabbed the bejeweled rabbits and rummaged in his fur for his automatic. But the figure smiled, bowed and vanished ...

[Backgrounds by Redgular and Photosharing at Pixabay]

7. The Wabbit and the Spiralling Tunnel

The Wabbit and Lapinette took the bejeweled rabbits and tried to get out from the tunnel, but nothing was the right way.  Corridors gave way to more corridors. Stairs twisted and spiralled along, upward then down. Going was tough but they knew they had to go up. The Wabbit perched on a step that was a sharp as a razor. Lapinette fared better and floated over the top like magic. "These rabbits are heavy," huffed the Wabbit. "Not at all," smiled Lapinette. They continued on their way. The Wabbit decided to take the stairs two at a time but fell and grazed a knee. "Slow and steady wins the race," commented Lapinette. She glided onwards. "Grrr," replied the Wabbit. Lapinette's ears swivelled. "Can you feel someone watching us?" The Wabbit clung on with one paw and risked looking back. "It's him." Lapinette kept looking forward, but her ears were tuning in. "The mystery chocolate figure?" The Wabbit screwed up his eyes. It was hard to see in the tunnel. "I think he's applauding." Lapinette snorted. "Maybe he could lend a helping paw." The Wabbit snorted too. "I don't think he's of the helping paw persuasion." He looked back again. The chocolate figure walked towards them but never seemed to get any closer. "Probably he'll be along in a jiffy," said the Wabbit. "A hundredth of a second?" smiled Lapinette. "I was being ironic," said the Wabbit. "That's not irony, that's sarcasm," grinned Lapinette. "He's hardly gaining," observed the Wabbit, "so let's ignore him." Lapinette bounded forward, "I can see a way out." The rabbits started to chant. "Way out, outa sight. Way out." The Wabbit groaned. "Can you dig it?"
[Background. Pretty Sleepy Pixabay]

6. The Wabbit and the Bejeweled Rabbits

The Wabbit and Lapinette dragged the chest to the middle of the corridor and inspected the contents. It was a surprise. There, in a plush velvet lining, lay several bejeweled rabbits. The Wabbit plucked one out - and so did Lapinette. They examined them closely. "So much for legend," shrugged the Wabbit. "They seem real enough," said Lapinette. They looked the corridor up and down. "This is a long way from Wablantis," observed the Wabbit. "Very far," said Lapinette. The Wabbit thought for a long time. "Maybe there's a second Wablantis. Like a mirror of the first, but here on Proxima b." Lapinette shook her ears. "What cunning shaman did this?" "Maybe the electric shaman? He has the guile." Lapinette's ears froze. "What's that sound?" The rabbits were talking to each other in a strange language. Not even the Wabbit's universal translator could decipher it. They spoke in whispers and appeared to agree with each other. The Wabbit lifted one up and held it close to his ear. Lapinette did the same. The whispering continued. "I can't make head nor tail of it," said the Wabbit. Suddenly the rabbits mimicked his voice. "Neither head nor tail, head nor tail." They chirruped in a sweet chorus. The Wabbit tried his luck again. "How did you get here?" They chanted as one. "We came came came, on the train train train." The Wabbit looked at Lapinette and did that thing that he did when he was puzzled. Lapinette took over. "Which train train train?" The rabbits put their heads together. "The chocolate train." The Wabbit frowned. "It's a mystery." The rabbits chirruped again. "Mystery mystery mystery." Lapinette sighed. "It's all becoming clear." The Wabbit was none the wiser. "You recall the mystery bus?" said Lapinette. The Wabbit slapped a paw between his eyes. "Not the chocolate rabbit!" "The very same," breathed Lapinette.

[Background. Skitterphoto at Pixabay