7. The Wabbit and Major Spitlove

The Wabbit stood in an old cowshed in Testaccio and waited patiently. When Major Spitlove emerged from the shadows. He had a broad smile on his face, which was unusual to say the least. The Wabbit scowled. It would never do to smile at Spitlove and he was anxious to keep up appearances. Spitlove's smile became broader. "All going according to plan, Commander." The Wabbit's frown was as frowny as could be. "They buy it then." Spitlove nodded. "The whole body of Agents are thrilled. I won paws down. I am now leader of the New Model Rabit Faction - and Commander in Chief of the whole shebang." The Wabbit smiled a faint smile and revealed most of his 28 teeth. "That will keep them busy for a while." Spitlove had been a double agent for as long as anyone could recall. But boundaries were boundaries and the Wabbit wasn't expecting familiarity. "That joke Skratch suggested went down well," said Spitlove. The Wabbit's ears swung back and formed a question mark. "Why did the secret agent cross the road?" asked Spitlove. "He wasn't on your side," shrugged the Wabbit with a sigh. "I'm very popular with the rank and file," said Spitlove. "I'll bet," said the Wabbit. They strolled to the gate. "How's that wolf?" asked Spitlove. "Settling in," replied the Wabbit. "A formidable ally," said Spitlove. The Wabbit nodded in agreement. "Lie low for now, and wait for my command." Major Spitlove leaned back. "Remind me. What is your command?" "I haven't thought of it yet," said the Wabbit. 

6. The Wabbit and Terni's Reunion

The Wabbit and Rommy the Wolf wandered out to the Wabbit's favourite mast. The mast was sadly in need of a repaint but the Wabbit liked it. There he often met Terni the Food dragon - and true to form Terni came swooping down. Flame billowed from his pepper nose as he let out a blood curling yell. The Wabbit grinned with all of his 28 teeth. "Rommy, meet Terni the Food Dragon." Rommy's eyes opened wide with delight. "Terni, is it really you?" Terni hovered. "Rommy - I thought you were dead." Rommy blinked several times. "I thought the same of you. Didn't the clergy get you?" Terni somersaulted backwards. "I was much too clever for them. Now they eat out of my claw." Rommy muttered. "Clerical fools." The Wabbit was astonished. "When you two have quite finished, we have work to do." Rommy bathed in the heat from Terni's nose, turning round to get an even tan. "The Wabbit tells me he's having a spot of bother with his enemies." "Oh, is it to do with Spitlove?" roared Terni. "The Wabbit turned him, but I heard dragons' whispers indicating a change of leadership." Rommy matched Terni's roar. "Let's plot. I love plotting. But my troops are all gone." The Wabbit thought this was a good time to summon his own troops. "Why don't you two sort it out - since you're so pally. I'll round up my forces and meet you at Testaccio later." Terni and Rommy were lost in conversation and the Wabbit took it as read. So he quietly padded off for the bus. "Rommy hasn't met Tipsy," he murmured.

5. The Wabbit introduces an Old Friend.

The Wabbit and Rommy the Wolf ambled to the Largo di Torre Argentina. The Wabbit waved a paw. "And this is .." "I am Antiquicat," interrupted a cat. "He's my oldest friend in Rome," said the Wabbit. Rommy stared, then exclaimed. "I imagined you rather more orange." The cat meaowed. "I've had many lives and am quite ancient. I am therefore obliged to change my fur from time to time." The Wabbit grinned. "It's a Buddhist thing." Rommy looked round and saw the sign. "What's with the Ides of March. It's not March, it's April. So can we stop bewaring?" Antiquicat purred. "I do like your sense of humour. Are you an acquaintance of the Wabbit?" They settled down for a chat. "The Wabbit is introducing me to his friends," said Rommy. "I didn't know he had any," replied Antiquicat. He meaowed and screeched and held his sides. The Wabbit smiled amiably. Antiquicat continued although he could hardly speak for laughing, "The Wabbit comes to me for advice when he's run out of ideas." Rommy nodded. "He's a character all right." They chatted until it got late. Then talk turned to serious matters. "What about the Agents of Rabit?" asked Antiquicat, "I hear they have a new leader." The Wabbit lowered his voice. "Do tell." Antiquicat's voice was merely a squeak. "They call him ... Major Spitlove." The Wabbit could hardly be heard, his voice was so low. "He's one of ours." Rommy growled softly. "Wabbit, you have a double agent in the enemy camp?" The Wabbit nodded. Rommy snarled. "I like the sound of this. Just like the old days." The Wabbit tugged Rommy's fur, "Wanna join us?" Rommy suddenly rolled back and forward on the sidewalk, paws in the air. "We'll have a howl of a time!"

4. The Wabbit and the Wolf's Acquisition

The Wabbit and Rommy the Wolf were fed up with consumer durables, so they took a walk through the New Testaccio Market. They glanced at this, and they glanced at that. As usual it was predominantly ladies clothes. Rommy didn't seem to care and suddenly he lunged, snatched a shoe and casually padded off with it. "They see it, but they don't believe it," he growled. The Wabbit was officially appalled. "You can't just take things," he exclaimed. "I can," said Rommy, "I'm a Roman God." The Wabbit looked askance. "I think you'll find things have changed around here. Anyway, what do you want with ladies shoes?" "Spoils of war," said Rommy. The Wabbit thought of Wabsworth and quietly slipped a few notes on the market stall. They strolled on. "Are you going to wear it?" asked the Wabbit. "I'd look a right charlie wearing it," said Rommy, "I'm going to keep it in my collection of seized footwear." The Wabbit grinned. "Wouldn't you prefer a sausage?" He watched for Rommy's reaction. "What kind of sausage?" asked Rommy. "Vegetarian sausage?" suggested the Wabbit. Rommy turned up his nose. "I'd prefer a nice steak," he said. "Did you know Testaccio used to be the livestock market?" asked the Wabbit. "I know everything about Rome," said Rommy. "Then I suppose you know it's been turned into an art exhibit?" The Wabbit waited because he knew what was coming. "Hideous, hideous, hideous," said Rommy, "First year art students with too much money." The Wabbit thought about it. "The kind that did your mural?" Rommy snarled. "A bunch of baristas!" The Wabbit laughed. "Let's get a coffee."

3. The Wabbit and the Wolf go Shopping.

Rommy the wolf said he wanted to a look round the shops. "People will think I'm a big dog," he said. "Say woof," suggested the Wabbit. "WOOF said Rommy. "Needs practice," observed the Wabbit. They padded around the store. "What about one of these TVs?" asked the Wabbit. "It has many initials." Rommy looked the television up and down. "The upscaling isn't great. I can see the pixels." The Wabbit raised an eye and flapped an ear. Rommy laughed. "I'm a mural don't forget. I know about all manner of artistic stuff." The Wabbit was surprised. "What's your favourite show?" "Wolverine," said Rommy, "His past is shrouded in mystery." The Wabbit snorted. "Rather like yourself." Rommy growled. "Not one bit. There are so many stories about me I can hardly believe it." The Wabbit stood with his paws out, "You're supposed to be human." "Do me a favour," said Rommy, "That would be no fun. Trust the media to get everything the wrong way round." The Wabbit nodded. He could hardly disagree. "You founded Rome?" Rommy laughed. "I found Rome more like. What a terrible state it was in. Years of work it took me and my brother. Years." The Wabbit chortled. "How do you find it now?" "Awful," said Rommy. The Wabbit was lost in thought for a moment. "What about your brother Remus?" Rommy looked at the Wabbit. "He went to the other side." The Wabbit nodded again and shook his head, "It happens to the best of us." "I saw the birds you know, and that was it," said Rommy. The Wabbit made a flapping motion with his paws. "Birds," he shrugged, Rommy's fur stood on end, and he growled. "I hate cardinals the most."
[Wolf by Alexus at Pixabay]

2. The Wabbit and the Wolf of Testaccio

The Wabbit wandered through Testaccio with nothing particular in mind. He was scouting out territory just to see what he could see, and he glanced over his shoulder at a mural he particularly liked. "Hello Wabbit!" called a voice. The Wabbit sometimes felt he could never be alone. But he didn't want to be rude to the wolf. "Oh hello," he replied. "See anything you liked at the market?" asked the wolf. The Wabbit shrugged. It was a nice market and he was fond of it, but it didn't have a suitable range of unobtainable items. "No old jazz records from 1951," he said. "It's not that kind of market," came the reply. The Wabbit shrugged again, "I did buy a bottle of  olive oil with chillies and I have it here in my fur." The wolf seemed to turn. "That's the spirit," he said, "It refreshes the limbs. Just look what it did for my neck." The Wabbit laughed. The wolf looked down and smiled. "Did you meet these pesky garlic sellers?" The Wabbit nodded with vigour. "They're from the Garlic Tendency," said the wolf, "we can't get rid of them." The Wabbit was astonished. "Not even you! Are you stuck there?" "No," said the wolf, "I can get down. But I like it here and no-one bothers me much." The Wabbit thought for a bit. "Come down and show me round. You seem to have the inside line on things." The wolf thought for a while. Then he growled. "I will! You can introduce me to your friends." The Wabbit was super pleased. "What's your name?"  "Call me Rommy," said the wolf - and he jumped down beside the Wabbit and stuck out a paw. 

1. The Wabbit and the City of Dreams

The Wabbit had just arrived on the train from Bologna. As he left the platform he cast a wry glance at the train. It wasn't Quantum. It didn't talk nor could it use lattice drive, but the Wabbit felt affectionate enough. He was anticipating a big change and he couldn't say he was entirely looking forward to it. The Department of Wabbit Affairs planned major renovations and the Wabbit had to vacate Turin to relocate in Rome. He stood and thought about it. Terni the Food Dragon was there and he might see Moloch and Panico. He was very close to Fregene for a seafood lunch and he could have some time on the beach. There were museums, theatres, art galleries - and markets of course. He might find some unobtainable items. Not too bad. It would feel like a holiday. The Wabbit reflected. He didn't really like holidays and he wrinkled his nose. There was always something unexpected happening and he had to work. He brightened. "That'd be cool," he thought. He had another look at the train. "What about the pizzas?" said the train. The Wabbit grinned as he thought of Roman pizzas. Thin crisp pizzas, no giant crusts. Potato pizzas, lots of rosemary, gnam-gnam. He paused and turned directly to the train. "Did you perchance speak to me?" The train huffed a bit and made a hydraulic sound. "I did." The Wabbit smiled. "You shouldn't speak to strange rabbits." "Everyone knows you, Commander Wabbit." The Wabbit grinned again and asked, "Wanna go for a pizza?" The train sounded its klaxon. "I have to go back to Bologna. Wanna come?" So the Wabbit hopped on board and settled in. "Don't mind if I do." He mused as the train moved off and he quoted Marcus Aurelius in a low voice. "There was a dream that was Rome ... you could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish; it was so fragile ..."

The Wabbit at his Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit was waiting for everyone to converge at the Adventure Caffè. He'd grabbed a table on the perimeter and held onto it even though everyone was a little late. Wabsworth was charged with securing the Bejeweled Rabbit and he was most pleased with himself. "Is this a copy or not?" he asked, "Is it a work of art in the age of mechanical reproduction?" The Wabbit looked sideways. "It seems to have an aura and therefore it has all the qualities of the original." Skratch arrived and was quick to point out that the idea of an original was open to question. Lapinette wrinkled her nose. "I personally have held the original. I therefore have tactile knowledge." The Wabbit grinned. "So can you tell the difference?" Lapinette thought for a minute and had to make a confession. "I really cannot say." Wabsworth laughed and gripped the Bejeweled Rabbit tightly. "In principle, works of art could always be reproduced. As an android, I can say that it is not a mechanical reproduction, but a masterly work in its own right." Skratch was anxious to make another point. "But it lacks the original's location in time and space." The Wabbit scoffed. "How do you know this isn't the original? Magically transported in time and space by the mysterious figure?" Just then the Bejeweled Rabbit spoke. "Original original. I'm the original original." They all gazed at the rabbit with their mouths open. Skratch laughed. "Magic!" Wabsworth winked. "I confess. I pressed a button on the bottom." Lapinette burst out laughing. "We've been had!" The Wabbit chortled mightily. "I think it had us all right." Skratch wanted the last word. "It can no longer be treated as it used to be. But it's an authentic reproduction, not a commodity." The Wabbit laughed. "Any chance of an authentic drink?"

9. The Wabbit and the End of the Holiday

The Wabbit and Lapinette found themselves on the surface of another planet. It was dusty and dry and the Wabbit shook grit from his fur. Lapinette looked up. "That's not the sun we started with." The Wabbit agreed and said so. He grimaced. All the same, he was glad to be out of the clutches of the mysterious chocolate rabbit. He heard a familiar throbbing. It was Quantum the Time Travelling Train - and Skratch the Cat was at the controls. The Wabbit heaved a sigh of relief as Quantum descended through a heavy gaseous atmosphere that warped everything they could see. The train hovered. There was no flat surface. "You'll have to climb aboard Commander." Skratch's voice was warped too. They picked themselves up and staggered across the rough terrain. "If one more person asks me if I enjoyed my holiday, I will personally dismember them." growled the Wabbit. He waved up at Skratch. "Did you enjoy your holiday, Commander and Lapinette?" shouted Skratch. "Yes," said the Wabbit through clenched teeth. "A break is as good as a rest," shrugged Lapinette. They turned to wave goodbye to the planet. "What about the Bejeweled Rabbits?" asked Lapinette. They heard a squeak as a rabbit popped up his head. The Wabbit grabbed it by its ears. "Holiday souvenir!" he exclaimed. "Are we going to Wablantis?" squeaked the Bejeweled Rabbit. "Not just yet," replied the Wabbit. "It's earthquake season," said Lapinette. They boarded the train. Then Quantum slipped into lattice drive ..  and vanished.

[Background picture: Planet 188753 NASA - Caltech]

8. The Wabbit and the Mystical Vortex

One second the Wabbit and Lapinette were climbing out of the tunnel and in the next they were sucked into a vortex. It was taking them to the sea, of that they were sure. But they were cruelly distorted and so were the bejeweled rabbits. The mysterious chocolate figure looked on, paws tucked into his pants as always. He was as distorted as they were, and he nodded cheerfully as the world span round. "I hope you enjoyed your holiday, Wabbit." His speech was distorted too. "I wope you enjeweled your hooliday, Wobbit." The Wabbit span round and round. His insides looped and churned. "Woooooot?" was all he could say. Lapinette looked none too happy. "Gug gug gug woot?" Her tartan frock took on a strange pattern, the like of which no-one had seen before. The bejeweled rabbits fared the worst. They spiralled and stretched out of control. Their ears became distended, and their eyes were mere black dots on a golden surface. "Where on earth are we?" shouted the Wabbit. "You're not on earth - remember?" said the chocolate figure, "This is your holiday destination. Have you had a good time?" The vortex revolved like a washing machine. The Wabbit sailed perilously close to the cavern walls before he was drawn back to the centre. Lapinette shouted something but the Wabbit couldn't hear. He had a stab at what she was saying. "Would you like to go home, Lapinette?" Lapinette nodded vigorously. The chocolate figure took his paw out of his pocket and raised it in the air. Everything stabilised. The Wabbit grabbed the bejeweled rabbits and rummaged in his fur for his automatic. But the figure smiled, bowed and vanished ...

[Backgrounds by Redgular and Photosharing at Pixabay]

7. The Wabbit and the Spiralling Tunnel

The Wabbit and Lapinette took the bejeweled rabbits and tried to get out from the tunnel, but nothing was the right way.  Corridors gave way to more corridors. Stairs twisted and spiralled along, upward then down. Going was tough but they knew they had to go up. The Wabbit perched on a step that was a sharp as a razor. Lapinette fared better and floated over the top like magic. "These rabbits are heavy," huffed the Wabbit. "Not at all," smiled Lapinette. They continued on their way. The Wabbit decided to take the stairs two at a time but fell and grazed a knee. "Slow and steady wins the race," commented Lapinette. She glided onwards. "Grrr," replied the Wabbit. Lapinette's ears swivelled. "Can you feel someone watching us?" The Wabbit clung on with one paw and risked looking back. "It's him." Lapinette kept looking forward, but her ears were tuning in. "The mystery chocolate figure?" The Wabbit screwed up his eyes. It was hard to see in the tunnel. "I think he's applauding." Lapinette snorted. "Maybe he could lend a helping paw." The Wabbit snorted too. "I don't think he's of the helping paw persuasion." He looked back again. The chocolate figure walked towards them but never seemed to get any closer. "Probably he'll be along in a jiffy," said the Wabbit. "A hundredth of a second?" smiled Lapinette. "I was being ironic," said the Wabbit. "That's not irony, that's sarcasm," grinned Lapinette. "He's hardly gaining," observed the Wabbit, "so let's ignore him." Lapinette bounded forward, "I can see a way out." The rabbits started to chant. "Way out, outa sight. Way out." The Wabbit groaned. "Can you dig it?"
[Background. Pretty Sleepy Pixabay]

6. The Wabbit and the Bejeweled Rabbits

The Wabbit and Lapinette dragged the chest to the middle of the corridor and inspected the contents. It was a surprise. There, in a plush velvet lining, lay several bejeweled rabbits. The Wabbit plucked one out - and so did Lapinette. They examined them closely. "So much for legend," shrugged the Wabbit. "They seem real enough," said Lapinette. They looked the corridor up and down. "This is a long way from Wablantis," observed the Wabbit. "Very far," said Lapinette. The Wabbit thought for a long time. "Maybe there's a second Wablantis. Like a mirror of the first, but here on Proxima b." Lapinette shook her ears. "What cunning shaman did this?" "Maybe the electric shaman? He has the guile." Lapinette's ears froze. "What's that sound?" The rabbits were talking to each other in a strange language. Not even the Wabbit's universal translator could decipher it. They spoke in whispers and appeared to agree with each other. The Wabbit lifted one up and held it close to his ear. Lapinette did the same. The whispering continued. "I can't make head nor tail of it," said the Wabbit. Suddenly the rabbits mimicked his voice. "Neither head nor tail, head nor tail." They chirruped in a sweet chorus. The Wabbit tried his luck again. "How did you get here?" They chanted as one. "We came came came, on the train train train." The Wabbit looked at Lapinette and did that thing that he did when he was puzzled. Lapinette took over. "Which train train train?" The rabbits put their heads together. "The chocolate train." The Wabbit frowned. "It's a mystery." The rabbits chirruped again. "Mystery mystery mystery." Lapinette sighed. "It's all becoming clear." The Wabbit was none the wiser. "You recall the mystery bus?" said Lapinette. The Wabbit slapped a paw between his eyes. "Not the chocolate rabbit!" "The very same," breathed Lapinette.

[Background. Skitterphoto at Pixabay

5. The Wabbit and the Vaulted Cellar

The Wabbit and Lapinette hopped down the gloomy passageway without event. But as they rounded a corner Lapinette shrieked. "Get down. Bats!" It wasn't just bats, but a series of pterodactyls that pecked at the Wabbit and Lapinette with pointed beaks. "Gerrof!" shouted the Wabbit. The bats were huge and didn't appear dangerous. But they seemed drawn to the Wabbit. They flapped around and got in his fur. "J'aime pas les chauves-souris," howled the Wabbit. He batted them away. Lapinette made her way into the main corridor. "What's that?" She pointed. "It looks like a Treasure Chest!" breathed the Wabbit. "Guarded by a large green bat," observed Lapinette. She shuddered. The Wabbit marched up to the chest and addressed the green bat. "Would you mind? he said politely. The bat tightened its grip on the chest. "I say. I want to open that box." Politeness wasn't working. The bat gripped the chest even more. It turned to the Wabbit and made a series of clicks and pings. "I think it's the guardian of the chest," said Lapinette. The Wabbit nodded. He fished in his fur, then looked up. "Got any insects?" Lapinette shook her head. "They might be mega bats," she suggested. The Wabbit shrugged. "I'll try it on fruit." He took out an old and forgotten avocado and rolled it on the passageway floor. The bat released the chest, fluttered down, ate the avocado in a single gulp and fluttered back up again. But the Wabbit was quicker. He hooked his foot around the lid of the chest and flicked it open. "Ooooh!" breathed Lapinette. "It's treasure and I don't think it's lost," grinned the Wabbit. 

4. The Wabbit and Lapinette hit the Beach

Quantum the Time Travelling Train dropped the Wabbit and Lapinette on the planet. True to his word, he'd selected a quiet beach, but it didn't meet with Lapinette's approval. "Spooky," she whispered. "Could be worse," said the Wabbit, "At least it isn't Mallorca!" Lapinette took in the scene. "I don't see anywhere to put down beach towels." The Wabbit grinned. "We can sit on the rocks and throw pebbles." Proxima b boasted a sun and several planetoids - all of them exerting an influence on the sea. "The tide is going out," commented Lapinette. She hopped from rock to rock. The Wabbit looked at the waves and wrinkled his nose. "Best move inland," he muttered. He looked up at Quantum's red streak in the sky as he vanished across the horizon. "Well, we're stuck now, so we'll get with our holiday." He started to hop. Lapinette's eyes swivelled to the left as something swooped by. "It's some kind of pterodactyl." The Wabbit nodded. "It means winged finger." Lapinette nodded. "I think it just gave us the bird." The Wabbit turned to follow it. "A sign of civilisation, I suppose." Together they waded a short distance and made their way inside. "This is the weirdest holiday I've ever had." The Wabbit's fur was now wet. He shook off the water. "A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving," he said testily. Lapinette was determined to out quote the Wabbit. "Rabbits don't take trips. Trips take rabbits." The Wabbit grinned. "What's that up there?" Lapinette stared. "It looks like a passageway." The Wabbit did a double take. "Leading to a vaulted cellar? What are we waiting for?" They would have hopped forward but an unknown force drew them in ...

[Background Credit NASA-Caltech]

3. The Wabbit, Lapinette and Destinations

Quantum sailed over the horizon of a Blood Red planet called Proxima B and flew across a storm-tossed ocean. His voice boomed over the speakers. "What a nice sunset. Lovely, lovely, lovely." Lapinette and the Wabbit looked out with fixed expressions. "I thought you said nice beaches," said Lapinette. "I'll take you to a lovely cove where you can whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears," replied Quantum. "OK," said the Wabbit, "the sea will be calm, won't it?" Quantum laughed. "The beautiful limpid waters of Proxima B." Lapinette placed her paws on her waist. "This wasn't quite what I was expecting." "Wonderful," said Quantum, "It's a surprise." The Wabbit dug in his fur for sun screen that he always kept for solar emergencies. "It certainly is." Quantum banked to starboard and sped over the rocky shores. "Bathing costumes are in the locker compartment. You'll find books too. I brought the Booker short list for you to read." The Wabbit cringed. "Got anything amusing and interesting?" There was a silence. "The Dandy and Beano Annuals, 2011 onwards." Quantum laughed like no train had laughed before. "That'll do," said the Wabbit. Lapinette wrinkled her nose but Quantum said, "I haven't forgotten you Lapinette. I have the Women's Own from inception in 1932." Lapinette's nose wrinkled even more. "Also Oh Comely. 'Self love, surrealism and forever friendships' is particularly good." Lapinette sighed. "Maybe I'll just soak up the sun." The Wabbit piped up. "I heard the planet's orbit round Centauri is 11.2 days." The speaker crackled again. "Guided tours may be booked with Skratch in the dining car." Lapinette shrieked. "Skratch is here!" Skratch's voice came over the speakers. "My feline wisdom precedes me."

[Background credit: NASA JPL-Caltech]