4. The Wabbit and the Stairway Copy

"Quickly," shouted Lapinette.  "They're coming." When they'd got the message, the Wabbit and Moloch had rushed to the Old Tower. As they panted up the steps they felt their heads clear. But although the Wabbit could scamper up anything, he hated steep. "What's going down?" he barked. "Wabbit," said Lapinette curtly. "Did you leave a model helichopper in Quantum's cab?" "On a shelf," sighed the Wabbit. "Near the filters?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit didn't have to nod. Lapinette urged them up the stairs. "These creatures are shape shifters, they copy what they fancy." "Well I hope they don't fancy Moloch," laughed the Wabbit. Moloch's wings spread in the narrow stairway. "I am one of a kind," said Moloch, "No-one would dare." The Wabbit caught something in the corner of an eye and growled. "They can really copy living things?" Lapinette became exacerbated. "We don't know. Get a move on. I want to get this door shut." "They do stay small, don't they?" asked the Wabbit and he edged up the wall. "No-one knows," hissed Lapinette. "Hurry up!" The Wabbit glanced back, narrowed his eyes and thought that it might be too late. But it was the only idea he had. "Moloch can you make a bit of breeze with your wings?" "Direction?" smiled Moloch. "Four o'clock low," murmured the Wabbit. Moloch's wings swivelled with precision and a hurricane blasted the stairway. "Go, go, go ...!" yelled Lapinette.

3. The Wabbit and Stardust Souvenirs

Even though he was groggy, the Wabbit met Quantum's shuttle from the Sombrero Galaxy as arranged. Quantum swam into view around about one o'clock and dropped into Pluto Park. Even though he was a famous monster, Moloch was astonished. "How much transhport have you got, Wabbit?" he snivelled.  The Wabbit did his best to grin. His fur was damp and his nose was red and his head felt like a balloon. Skratch called down from the cab. "Is here OK, Commander?" The Wabbit noticed movement and he scanned Quantum from tip to tail. The entities were small but brightly coloured and one came close to Moloch's face. "Achsplash groo," sneezed Moloch. The ground shook. "Hey Shkratch," yelled the Wabbit, "you brought pashengers." Skratch looked up and down. "I don't see anything!" At that moment an entity landed on his head, right between his ears. Skratch started to itch and his eyes watered like fountains. "Did you schtop anywhere unushual, Shkratch?" shouted the Wabbit through his nose. "We followed the dusht lane," sniffled Skratch. "and we only shtopped to clean our filters." The Wabbit shrugged wearily. "Shomething happened." Skratch thought for a second. "We saw a pair of shumthings wink near the black hole." "A wink?" questioned Moloch sagely and he paused to swipe an entity that got in hs eye. "That's allmoasht ash good as a nod."

2. The Wabbit & the Sneeze on Wheels

Things went from bad to worse. The Wabbit could feel every sinus channel known to rabbits. Moloch had a monster sinus and he was stuffed. "Thish is terrible," said the Wabbit. "Monstroush," snivelled Moloch. It was at this juncture they both heard the noise. "Jid you hear an Ah?" asked Moloch. "It shertainly ish an Aaaah," agreed the Wabbit. Buildings shook and tortured metal shrieked. "I didn't like the shound of dat," said Moloch and half turned. It came without warning like a thief in the night. "Itch not going to shtop," yelled the Wabbit and he jumped out the way. "I gave thish short of thing up," shouted Moloch and he followed the Wabbit. It was a tram all right but entirely composed of a cloudy scalding vapour that cleaned the street as it went. "Aaaaaahhh!" it wailed. "Aaaaaaah!" The Wabbit knew there was more to come and he said it under his breath. "Choo?" The tram flashed past and they felt its fiery breath. "Aaaaaaaah Chooooooo!" Traffic lights shattered. Shop windows blew out and scattered goods far and wide. Moloch had closed his eyes. "Ish it gone yet?" The Wabbit was somewhat muffled. "For ush ..  yesh," Moloch strained to hear because his ears had clogged up. Moloch looked as woebegone as the Wabbit felt in his fur. "Would you like a pashtille?" Moloch croaked, "I like shinnamon loshenges."

1. The Wabbit and the Big Sneeze

The Wabbit was at a loose end and when he was at a loose end he loped around the city fretting. But he took an alleyway off Via Garibaldi and found himself in a square. There were lot of squares in Turin, but this one had vague advertising signs. And although the Wabbit looked at them for some time, he couldn't figure out what they were for. "Hello Wabbit!" said a voice. "Moloch!" smiled the Wabbit. The Wabbit was secretly pleased because he felt he could use some company. "What's this for?" He indicated the sign with Moloch's picture and asked, "Are you having a monster promotion?" Moloch shook his considerable head. "Nothing to do with me, I have my hands full." They both pondered but were suddenly interrupted. "Achoo!" "Bless you," said the Wabbit." "It wasn't me," said Moloch, "I thought it was you, Wabbit." "Achoo!" The Wabbit looked around. "There it is again," Then he felt his nose tickle. "Achoooo," blasted the Wabbit. Small pieces of paper skittered along the paving, driven by the force. Moloch put his massive hand over his massive mouth. "Yaaaagh chook" he yelled. They both turned and looked at the sign. "Yak choo choo!" The sign rocked from side to side and spoke. "I can't help it. There's something in the air." The Wabbit sniffed. His nose began to tickle and the back of his throat felt dry. "I don't like the feel of this," he coughed. "Let's investigate," said Moloch, who's eyes were beginning to stream. " Before someone catches something," spluttered the Wabbit ...

The Wabbit's Adventure Caffè

Skratch was late but everyone waited for him. "Skratch! At last," said the Wabbit. "We couldn't possibly start without you." Skratch waved a paw and laughed. "You're expecting me to ask the question!" Lapinette and Red Rabbit smirked at each other but the Wabbit kept a straight face. "The question is this. What kind of adventure were we in?" "Well, if we don't ask the question, we'll never know," said Skratch. "I know," said Red Rabbit. "It was a thriller and it was predicated upon questions of captivity and escape." "Ah," said Skratch, "the audience hoped things would be OK and feared it woudn't." "Ahem," said Lapinette, who was trying to intervene without success. "The background of paranoia places the adventure in the noir category with a clear reference to Orson Welles." The Wabbit tapped the table. "In this, symbolism was critical. The Paws of Darkness connoted an underground force with inescapable values. No one can break free." "We broke free," said Red Rabbit. There was silence for a minute. The Wabbit nodded. "But we had a moral code of mythic proportions." "And the Three Fates to help us," said Skratch, "but ... " "But what?" asked the Wabbit. Skratch sighed. "But we meet our destiny on the path we take to escape it." Lapinette thought for quite a while. "So what is our destiny?" It was the Wabbit's turn to think and then he smiled. "To keep having adventures of course!"

9. The Wabbit and the Far off Temple

They all blinked in the fierce sun. And it was hot. Very very hot. The air smelled of drying rabbit fur, which was tangy to say the least. The thousand red rabbits hopped around ancient Greek temples and searched for grapes and figs. "We have the gift of Aphrodite," said Magic Red Rabbit. "Oh really," said the Wabbit observing steam rising from his fur. "Fertility," said Lapinette. "Was that what the Paws of Darkness wanted?" This was speculation rather than a question. "Well, it wasn't sweet, sweet loving," quipped the Wabbit. "Are they completely destroyed?" asked Skratch the Cat. "Their kind never are," said Jenny sadly and she tilted her hat in the glare of the sun. "What's that smell?" sniffed Skratch. "Just a passing wind," said the Wabbit, pointing a paw to the horizon. There wasn't a breath of wind and they gasped in the heat. "Shall we hang around here and bake?" said Lapinette. "Or shall we get a drink?" The Wabbit turned to Magic Red Rabbit. "You're supposed to be magic." "It's a courtesy title," said Red Rabbit, "but I can do tricks." Such as?" smiled the Wabbit. "I can take things out of hats," said Red Rabbit. The Wabbit looked round at Jenny who shook her head vigorously. "I never take my hat off!" she exclaimed. It was at that moment that Tipsy called from the roof of the temple. "I can see a bar!" "Is the bar far?" asked the Wabbit. "Not as far as I can see," shouted Tipsy. "So far so good," said the Wabbit. And they all laughed and laughed and laughed.

8. The Wabbit and the Depth Charges

The sounds were like hisses. The kind a soda bottle makes when the cap comes off fast. The Wabbit knew the sounds and he felt his paws sting. "What the Wopsie ..?" said Magic Red Rabbit. Lapinette thought Red Rabbit had been with them too long. "Get ready," she said. "If they can come down, then we can go up." Magic Red Rabbit stared at Fitzy, Mitzy and Tipsy. "What are these things they're carrying?" "SubRocks," said the Wabbit. "If these go down, then we'll all go up fast!" Fitzy, Mitzy and Tipsy dropped from the ropes and pointed at everyone. "All. Up!" shouted Tipsy. "Go doodly go!" shouted Mitzy. Fitzy placed the depth charges in the water, turned dials and yelled. "Boom Boxes Away!" The wakes the charges left looked like shark fins as they sped up the cavern. "Good grief," muttered the Wabbit in horror and they all hopped for the ropes. A thousand red rabbits sped after them and they could certainly climb. Fitzy, Mitzy and Tipsy grabbed the ropes and shimmied roofwards like ferrets up a drainpipe. They were all near the top when they heard a low rumbling. Then water convulsed as three explosions turned the underground lake into a liquid fireball. In the distance they heard some kind of awful shrieking and momentarily covered their ears with whatever paws were available. "Fuzzywig!" said the Magic Red Rabbit.

7. The Wabbit Under Ground

"If there's a way in," said the Wabbit, "there's a way out." It was a Stygian space and the Wabbit half expected a ferryman. So he rummaged in his fur for his emergency coin and splashed through the waters in search of an exit sign. Of the three, it was Magic Red Rabbit that looked determined. With a thousand red rabbits following, he felt responsible and refused to be scared. But Lapinette scowled. "What about Plan B?" She was damp and cold and had no fur drier to paw. The Wabbit smiled with fake cheer. "The team has our coordinates." "Can they track under ground?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit wasn't certain but didn't say. Water ran down the pillars. It wasn't a torrent but its level in the cavern was getting deeper. "Humidity sullies my fur," muttered the Wabbit. Lapinette said nothing but she knew her fur would shortly look like dreadlocks. Then Magic Red Rabbit's ears did something strange. "I can hear something." "Stop!" said the Wabbit. Behind him, four thousand paws came to a sudden standstill. Lapinette listened but could only hear the steady drip of dank water. Red Rabbit looked from left to right and straight up. "I heard someone swear." The Wabbit couldn't hear a thing and he shook his head. "What kind of swearing?" "Polite swearing," said Red Rabbit. "Like 'shoot the fruit'?" offered Lapinette. Red Rabbit nodded. "They're here!" whispered the Wabbit. He was about to shout when Lapinette put a paw to her lips for silence. Nodding, he pulled a small bottle of prosecco from his fur, opened it and sprinkled it around. "Emergency Beacon," he whispered.

6. Skratch, Jenny and Wabbit Plan B

It had been a quiet night in the little town. But a radio crackled and that was all it took. A squadron of the Wabbit's private guard poured from the sky casting shadows that looked like giant locusts. Lapinette's personal guards - Fitzy, Mitzy and Tipsy - checked weapons and looked around in a hostile fashion. "Gosh," said Mitzy. "Fiddlesticks," said Fitzy. Tipsy said something unmentionable and swayed alarmingly. "I have a lock on their coordinates," said Skratch the Cat. "Distance?" asked Jenny. "Ten klicks," said Skratch, "but the facility is below ground." "Sheeps' shibblets, we need ropes," said Mitzy and she tore several rectangular strips from her frock. "The squadron has ropes," smiled Jenny. Skratch growled. "A coded message from the Wabbit said there were more than a thousand red rabbits kidnapped and held in a dark place." Jenny looked sceptical but Skratch nodded. "It was written on the back of a betting slip, crumpled and thrown on the sidewalk." Jenny waved her hook and sighed. "Did this message say who did the dirty deed?" "Something about the Paws of Darkness," said Skratch. "Ah!" said Jenny. "What kind of Ah?" answered Skratch. "It's an organisation," said Jenny. Skratch looked puzzled "Not real paws then?" "They're real enough." said Jenny. "Those whom the Paws touch are forever in bondage." "Son of a Sausage!" gasped Fitzy. "Double deep fry them for their trouble," snapped Mitzy. Tipsy spat out a series of expletives that made Jenny's fur stand on end.  Skratch looked first at Mitzy, then Fitzy, Finally his eyes lingered on Tipsy and he purred. "You three are going in first."

5. The Wabbit in the Lair of the Paws

"Whoah!" yelled the Wabbit as he grabbed what he could. "Yikes!" shouted Lapinette. Lapinette had trained at the Marinsky Ballet and had no trouble with a foothold. But she'd also seen the dank shape of evil paws and didn't like the cut of their jib one bit.  Magic Red Rabbit balanced precariously on a strut and peered down.  A row of eyes peered back. "There they are," he cried. "There are all the red rabbits." The hall of struts darkened and a voice boomed out. "Now you're trapped with the rest. You'll be here until the end of time." The Wabbit shook his head and looked up. "This isn't Amtrak! Get us off the rails and release our friends." Suddenly the framework sagged and the Wabbit looked down. A pit of spikes pointed back so he held on tight. Lapinette whispered. "Do you have a plan?" "I have a Plan B," said the Wabbit, "so what time is it?" The voice boomed from the heights of the framework. "It's later than you think, rancid rabbits."  "That's good," whispered the Wabbit to Lapinette, "help is already on its way." "What shall we do in the meantime?" asked Lapinette. "Insult them back," suggested the Wabbit. Lapinette thought for a moment then glanced up. "Your paws need pruning." Magic red rabbit joined in the fray. "Sore hocks, sore hocks!" "You've all got the monkey pox," yelled the Wabbit. It was as if an earthquake struck. The building shook and the framework with it. "We'll make you wish you'd never been born!" boomed the voice. "That's nothing new," yelled the Wabbit. And he checked the time ...
[sore hocks: ulcerative pododermatitis is a condition in rabbits usually affecting feet.]

4. The Wabbit in the Hall of Darkness

In the blast wave that came with the howl, the Wabbit did something special. He murmured something no-one could hear and his blue glasses lit with an incandescent glow. A scene emerged that was far different from the space they'd occupied. "The Hall of Darkness!" gasped the red rabbit. "I couldn't be bothered to knock," shrugged the Wabbit. The magic red rabbit stared at the door at the end of the Hall and gasped. "This is the stuff of fable." Lapinette smiled. "The Wabbit's fable manners are far from perfect." Together they hopped forward but the closer they got, the louder the howling became. It was a combination of malice and menace that chilled the air to ice. "Air conditioning?" quipped the Wabbit. A voice boomed through the pillars. "We can smell you, rabbits. Come no further." The Wabbit's glasses glowed intensely and warmed the chill. "Release the red rabbits and their songs," he yelled. Stone and plaster fell from the roof and crashed to the floor. "Puny creatures," boomed the voice. "Give us the red rabbit and we'll let you go." The Wabbit's 28 teeth gleamed like swords. "Open the door or we'll open it ourselves." "How will you do that?" sneered the voice. The Wabbit delved into his fur, grasped an object and shouted with all his might. "This will take the door from it's hinges and you with it." In the silence that followed, a series of clicks sounded like thunder. The door swung open. "Explosives?" asked Lapinette. "Swiss army knife," said the Wabbit.

3. The Wabbit in the Paws of Darkness.

With the Magic Red Rabbit in tow, they set out in pursuit of the Paws of Darkness. Shadows loomed from everywhere but the Wabbit stared remorselessly forward as they hopped. "They appear without warning like footpads in the night," said the red rabbit. "When they strike, there is no more light." "We'll see them first," growled the Wabbit. "No-one ever has," sighed the red rabbit. "I know how," said the Wabbit. The red rabbit glanced at Lapinette and she spoke in a reassuring voice. "You need to trust the Wabbit." The red rabbit glanced back to the Wabbit and the Wabbit spoke cheerfully. "We need to sing." Lapinette nodded. "Do you know any songs?" The red rabbit shook his head. "The Paws of Darkness took all our songs and hid them in a cave." "We'll make one up," said the Wabbit. "I'll start." The Wabbit began to sing in a sonorous tone that bounced from the alley walls. "Wha' saw the Paws of Darkness? Wha' saw them run away?"  Lapinette joined in. "Wha' saw the Paws of Darkness? Hunt them down and make 'em pay!" "I like that," said the Magic Red Rabbit. "Your turn," said the Wabbit. The red rabbit sang in a squeaky voice. "We'll pursue the Paws of Darkness, pursue them 'til their tired and grey. We will smite the Paws of Darkness. We'll defeat them come what may." "That's the spirit," said the Wabbit. But it was then that they heard it. A banshee howl that came from nowhere and split the night in two. "Good grief!" muttered the Wabbit.

2. The Wabbit - Source of the Squeak

The squeak was hard to follow but gradually the darkness of the outskirts gave way to a plaza. Yet as light unfolded so did the deafening sound of splashing water. "It’s only a stone fish," said Lapinette. The fountain was extremely loud. “A bone dish,” muttered the Wabbit, “no problem then.” He hopped closer to the gaping mouth of the big fish and noticed the rider seemed to have a pistol. Then he hopped closer because he'd caught a flash of a fishy tongue. "A fish has no tongue," said Lapinette. "This one has," replied the Wabbit. Lapinette sighed. "Try talking to it." "OK," shrugged the Wabbit and he called into the fish mouth. "I'm just a tourist." He saw a flash of red so he added an explanation. "Just passing through your little town!" The Wabbit waited for a small red creature to emerge and after a while it spoke. "Show me your paws." The Wabbit held up both paws. "Brown paws are good," said the small red rabbit, "black paws are bad." The Wabbit thought if he waited, he might get an explanation. "The Paws of Darkness destroyed us all," said the rabbit. "I am the last of the Magic Red Rabbits - and forever doomed to be pursued." Lapinette turned. "Maybe you could you could use a helping paw?" The Magic Red Rabbit squeaked softly. "How can you possibly help me?" The Wabbit's ears quivered in such a manner that light gusts scattered water to and fro. Lapinette knew he was annoyed so she was unsurprised when the Wabbit's 28 teeth flashed like neon. "We will pursue your pursuer." The Magic Rabbit shivered and squeaked. "Abandon hope ..."

1.The Wabbit and the Moonlit Landing

With all the stealth that its diesel engine could muster, the Lepus crept in to a small bay near Marina di Modica and lay still. A casual moon beamed quietly on two figures as they waded ashore. The Wabbit cursed silently as a chunk of driftwood bit a paw and Lapinette cast an eye along the beach. "Not much here." The Wabbit widened his view but only saw provisional shapes. "They don't advertise." The thrum from the Lepus died. "Jenny's finished with engines," murmured Lapinette. "Eight bells and all's well," said the Wabbit. Lapinette's Snazer whined like a hundred mosquitoes. The Wabbit's Snazer had three main settings - confound, astonish and blow away - but Lapinette had developed another. He recognised the overwhelm setting and nodded. "I'm uncertain what the Paws of Darkness look like." "Gloomy?" suggested Lapinette. The Wabbit pricked up his ears and listened. "I can hear them." Lapinette knew better than to question the Wabbit's logic. She hopped out of the water and her ears swung right then left. "I can hear something else." The Wabbit waited while Lapinette made a judgement. "Something squeaky that way ran." "Did it have a colour? asked the Wabbit. "I couldn't hear its colour," answered Lapinette. High on the mast, the skull and crossbones snapped and crackled in the windless air. A hot chill rippled through the Wabbit's fur and he shouldered his Snazer. "Let's hop to the grid coordinates." Behind, the moon and the Lepus shimmered and disappeared as the night swallowed them both.

The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè

They met at the Safe Adventure Caffè and despite the fuzzy warmth of the dining room, their mood was sombre. Skratch the Cat knew he was expected to ask the question so he did. "What was that for an epic adventure?" "Dangerous and uncertain," frowned Lapinette. "Like life," observed Wabsworth. The Wabbit had been waiting. "I simply cannot instruct you to be on this next mission. I need volunteers." "I think there's a queue," said Skratch. The Wabbit managed a half smile while Lapinette spoke softly. "Where love is concerned, it's not a matter of volunteering." They listened to plates and cutlery rattling in the kitchens and the Wabbit sniffed. But food aromas failed to mask the scent of menace. "So who's on board this mystery train?" Wabsworth took a list from his fur. "Everyone we have." "I told you so," said Skratch. The Wabbit nodded but it was a question. "Intel?" "Slight," said Wabsworth. "Cloaking technology?" asked the Wabbit. "Purely optical, but in place," replied Wabsworth. "Location?" asked the Wabbit. "Hypothetical," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit sighed. "It'll have to do."  Wabsworth grinned. "We have isotope signatures from the Murmurants." The Wabbit thought long and hard. "We will appear as tourists." Wabsworth searched for a camera. Skratch guffawed and looked aimlessly around. Lapinette fidgeted for a map and drawled, "Kin you point me to the centre of town?"