[It's my shout: I am paying the cost (usually for drinks/meal]
Monday, August 18, 2014
13. The Wabbit and the Big Kaboom
[It's my shout: I am paying the cost (usually for drinks/meal]
Friday, August 15, 2014
12. The Wabbit and the Droning Stone
(1) Sae glad yer a' here: I'm so pleased to see you all here. (2) You've a' got yer ain stanes: You have stones of your own.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
11. Lapinette and the Negative Surprise
Monday, August 11, 2014
10. The Wabbit & Lapinette's Meeting
"Welcome," said Lapinette from the top of the stairs. "Welcome to an Extraordinary Meeting of the Stone Investment Scheme." "Entrance by Stone only," said Jenny. "Please display a Stone at all times." The Drab at the front gazed at Jenny and tried to snarl a bit, but it came out as a snuffle. "We heard there were more profits." "There certainly are," said Lapinette breezily. "Much, much more than in any previous year." The news filtered down the queue where the Wabbit and Skratch were watching arrivals through a stairs window. "There were no previous years," laughed Skratch. "She's good, isn't she?" smirked the Wabbit. Captain Jenny nodded to all the investors. "Please make your way to the Grand Hall, where refreshments are offered." The queue murmured so Lapinette waved for attention. "These are supplied at no cost by Wabbit Biscuit International." "The company is testing a new line of aperitivo flavoured shortbread." added Jenny. "Please note your comments on the feedback forms provided." "But some Drabs are without Stones," moaned a Drab. "Their funds are drying up." "We forecast this eventuality," nodded Lapinette. Jenny rocked back and forth. "Invest some of your earnings with fellow Drabs who are short." "It's for the Common Good," smiled Lapinette. "And we do have a limited number of extra Stones available," said Jenny. The Wabbit laughed quietly. "Only a Stone's throw away," he whispered.
Friday, August 08, 2014
9.The Wabbit in a Station with No Exit
Quantum the Time Travelling Train brought everyone to Porta Susa, but he was grumbling. "I can never find my way around this station." "The Wabbit sensed irony. "Don't worry," he said, "neither can anyone else." Skratch the Cat hopped onto Quantum's footplate and carried out basic maintenance, while the team planned the next move. "How many Stone investments have been made so far?" asked the Wabbit. "About sixty four," answered Skratch, "we can't keep up with demand." "Skim anything off the top?" asked the Wabbit. "Just expenses." "Then lodge it in the Dinosaur Fund," said Wabsworth, "we may need more copies of the Stone." "But what happens next?" asked Lapinette. "We call a special investors' meeting," said Jenny the Pirate. "We imply extra profits." "Admission is granted to putative investors," continued Skratch, "so all the MacDrabs have to attend." Lapinette looked around and pointed into the distance "I can see MacDrabs over there." "They're lost," said the Wabbit. Jenny laughed. "We'll help them find a way out." "Sonny," said Stone. "Once we get them together in the meeting, what happens?" "Apologies for absence," said the Wabbit. "Then minutes of the last meeting, then ... a Negative Earnings Surprise." His eyes twinkled and he laughed. "Then and only then do we reach Any Other Business." Lapinette raised an eye. "Is there any?" "Yes," smiled the Wabbit. "Kaboom!"
Wednesday, August 06, 2014
8. The Wabbit & the Space Aftermath
Quantum hung in space while the Wabbit and Wabsworth monitored the routing of the MacDrab forces. It was a swift affair without mercy and Wabsworth shuddered. "That felt unpleasant," he said. "War is Hell," said the Wabbit. "But I thought you were an android." "I'm trying to be more of an individual," said Wabsworth. "Is there anything more difficult?" "Being a character," shrugged the Wabbit. He gestured towards Marshall Duetta Spyder as she loomed up to the windscreen bearing the Stone. The radio crackled. "What next Commander?" Duetta had the silkiest of voices, but the Wabbit knew it wouldn't do to be fooled by sounds and appearances. "What about the MacDrabs?" he asked sharply. "All we could find are gone," said Duetta, "but under interrogation, a captive mentioned a Drab team operating Earthside." The Wabbit thought about his own team and the counterfeit Stones trick. "We'd better get back. Jump in Stone!" Stone did not comply. "I thought I'd return with Duetta Spyder," he said. "You'll be safer here," said the Wabbit. The Stone weaved up and down in his own particular manner. "Since I came under your protection, sonny, I've been attacked by every enemy with availability." "Join up with the Wabbit," smiled the Wabbit, "meet interesting creatures." "And give 'em grief!" said Wabsworth.
Monday, August 04, 2014
7. Lapinette's Pyramid Sales Venture
"There are our marks!" whispered Skratch. Lapinette smiled sweetly, picked up a Stone and hopped forward. "We are the Drabs of Clan MacDrab," said the creatures. "I'm Ponzi" giggled Lapinette. The Drabs considered, "We are interested in buying your Stones." Skratch, Jenny and Lapinette all shook their heads. "Fortunately for you, you can't buy a Stone," said Jenny. "You can only buy into the Stone Investment Club." The Drabs were far from happy and grumbled noisily, so Skratch interrupted. "When more investors invest, you will receive a Stone as a gift." "And a lot of money," gurgled Lapinette, "you can't lose, look at me, my pockets are overflowing with cash." "We don't want money, we want the Stone ... I mean Stones," said the leading Drab. Jenny rocked back and forth in her most pirate fashion and guffawed. "With money you can get as many Stones as you desire!" "How much would it take to buy you out?" said the Drabs. "What, the whole lot?" asked Skratch. "That would ruin our business and spoil our fun." With a hop skip and a jump Lapinette darted to the rear of the Drabs and collected investments. Money came in quickly and she returned to her friends. Solemnly she handed €8000 to the Drab leader and lifted the first Stone. "This is your Stone, which may not be resold." "I want more Stones," said the Drab. "Then find more investors," said Jenny." "How many?" asked the Drab. "Everybody," said Lapinette. "Everybody must get Stones."
Friday, August 01, 2014
6. The Wabbit, Stone and Dark Space
The instant Stone stepped outside Quantum the Train, there was a bright flash and he split into a multitude of identical Stones. Lining up behind him, the Stones ground against each other and chanted as they faced the Drabs. The Wabbit could hear it. He glanced at Wabsworth and said, "Sound doesn't travel in Space." "You could have fooled me," said Wabsworth, "it makes my fur stand on end." "Shh. They're going to talk," said the Wabbit and he peered out. "MacDrabs!" shouted Stone. "Away hame to yer mithers!" The MacDrabs made a sound like bagpipes deflating in a hall. "You're coming with us, we've a wee surprise for you." "The winds gone out of ye," shouted Stone. "Ye couldnae surprise a target in a fairground." Now the Drabs' sound became a piercing whine as they advanced towards the Stones. "Nae further!" shouted Stone. "And look behind you, by the way." "Did you think we'd fall for that old trick?" sneered the MacDrab leader. As the Wabbit watched from Quantum's windscreen the radio burst into life and crackled with signals - but they weren't for the Wabbit. "Stone to Marshall Duetta Spyder, copy?" A sea of red spiders appeared from each corner of space. The radio hissed and Duetta's silky voice answered. "Orders?" "Cut them off from their ship," said Stone. "Scatter them and pursue them until they drop." "And then?" said Duetta. "Finish them," said Stone ...
[Away hame to yer mithers (Scottish, derisive): Run directly home to your mothers' protection.]
[Away hame to yer mithers (Scottish, derisive): Run directly home to your mothers' protection.]
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
5. The Wabbit and the Clan MacDrab
Monday, July 28, 2014
4. Jenny, Skratch & the Pyramid Trick
In Turin, the fake Stones were taken to the market in a borrowed truck. "We have to put up a show, Skratch," said Jenny. Skratch had been a Cat Burglar and knew a few tricks. "I think I can manage!" he laughed. But Jenny was a pirate and tricks were her stock and trade. "I propose we don't sell the Stones at all." Skratch looked puzzled. She put down her stone and rocked back and forth like a pirate. "Clients have to buy into our scheme." Her eyes twinkled. "They don't buy the Stone?" asked Skratch. "No," said Jenny, "Someone pays us €1000 to be a Member of the Stone Club." "What next?" said Skratch - although he knew what was coming. Jenny swayed. "When they bring us 8 more paying members, they receive a Stone as a gift and €8000." "Ah," said Skratch, "Each of these new members recruit another 8 members," said Jenny, "at which point they receive a gift and money." "Most profitable," said Skratch, "but this system is doomed to collapse." "I know," smiled Jenny. "It will last long enough to spot the enemy." "How will we recognise them?" asked Skratch. "They'll know the trick," said Jenny, "and they'll try to trick us." "No-one can trick us," said Skratch smugly. "Then we pounce," said Jenny. Skratch threw back his head and laughed. "We need our shill," said Jenny. Skratch saw Lapinette come round the corner and nudged Jenny. "Here she is now." "Ahaaahrr there, young rabbit," said Jenny. "Wanna be a member?"
[shill: an accomplice of a confidence trickster who poses as a genuine customer to entice others]
Friday, July 25, 2014
3. The Wabbit and Singing the Stone
[braw: adj. Scots, fine, excellent.]
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
2. The Wabbit and the Bootleg Stones
In a long abandoned and completely forgotten warehouse, Big Blue Snail and Wabsworth had been churning out more stones than a bootleg music factory. When the Wabbit and Rabbit Jenny arrived, they encountered an army of stones marching around like clockwork toys. "Ah, Commander," said Big Blue Snail. "Look at our creations. They're all beautiful and they move." "Do they talk?" asked Jenny. Snail paused. "We haven't been introduced." He glanced disapprovingly at the Wabbit and turned back. "I am Big Blue Snail. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Jenny nodded and rocked in a pirate fashion. "My compliments. I am Captain Rabbit Jenny." "Well do they talk?" asked the Wabbit impatiently. "Try them," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit hopped forward and spoke to the stone at the front. "Are you the true and original stone?" "Aye!" said the stone. "Naw, it's me!" said the second stone. Another jumped up and down. "I'm the only authentic and genuine stone here, by the way." The Wabbit looked at Jenny and then at Wabsworth and then at Snail. "Perfect," he said. Wabsworth chuckled. "I manufactured a sardonic sub routine especially for these fellows." Snail looked troubled for an instant. "How about their accents?" "They'll fool our enemies," smiled the Wabbit. Wabsworth was relieved. "I had trouble with the vowels." "So does everyone," laughed the Wabbit.
Monday, July 21, 2014
1. The Wabbit considers Stone Safety
The Wabbit decided there was safety in numbers but he still wasn't happy about enemies appearing at every turn. "Do you have a plan to keep the Stone safe, Wabbit?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit shrugged. "To tell you the truth I don't." "I'm perfectly aw right," said the Stone. "I'm enjoying myself." The Wabbit was not impressed. "Everyone's looking for you!" he snapped. Skratch the Cat was feeling rather out of things and his voice came booming from the rear. "There must be a price on Stone's head." "Ah hope it's huge," said the Stone. The Wabbit paused for a long time and Lapinette watched him carefully. "I have an idea," he said." "I have a better one," said Rabbit Jenny the Pirate. "You first," said the Wabbit. Jenny smiled. "We can manufacture several stones identical to our Stone - then offer them for sale on the open market." "That will flush out the rest of our enemies." said Skratch with relish. "But what about the safety of our Stone?" asked Lapinette. "Now for my idea," said the Wabbit. "We'll take Stone off-planet until Jenny's plan is executed." "Oh!" exclaimed Stone. "I've never been off-planet, is it guid?" Skratch nodded gravely. "There's an awful lot of it," he purred. "Ach," laughed Stone, "Ah feel like a change of scenery."
Friday, July 18, 2014
5. The Wabbit in Chemical Avenue
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
4.The Wabbit and the Zombie Hostages
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