The Wabbit at the Secret Caffè

In a secluded caffè that lay high on a hill overlooking Turin, the Wabbit held a special meeting with Wabsworth, his android double, and Marshall Duetta Spyder. He was first to arrive and somewhat impatient. So he tapped his paws in a fair imitation of Dave Brubeck's "Take Five" and watched his colleagues arrived from different directions - as instructed. "On with the work," said the Wabbit and he struck a glass with a fork. "You called the meeting, you start," said Duetta in her silky voice. "I want to start," interrupted Wabsworth, "because I'm a little unhappy with our subterfuge." Duetta was always happy with subterfuge. She shook her head. "Wabsworth," said the Wabbit. "It was of the utmost importance that everyone had realistic reactions." They all nodded gravely, so the Wabbit continued. "I want to know how our adventure looked to our enemies." "It looked most authentic," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit shrugged. "And that's why no-one was told,". Wabsworth sighed and stuck his paws in his fur, just like the Wabbit. "Our enemies will try to make contact with the Orange Phantoms," continued the Wabbit. "Which are departmental holograms!" said Wabsworth,. He brightened a little. "When will that be?" asked Duetta. "Not immediately," said the Wabbit. "They'll bide their time and so shall we." "When shall we inform the others?" asked Wabsworth. "When it's the most fun," smiled the Wabbit.

21. The Wabbit is taken by Surprise

Back on the ground, Wabsworth greeted his friends. But they seemed none too pleased. "What the binky is going on Wabsworth?" demanded the Wabbit. He pointed at Wabsworth and Lapinette pointed too. "What have you been up to?" "Its all official," said Wabsworth. "What do you mean, official?" screeched Ghost Bunny, "we were nearly destructivated!" Wabsworth cringed slightly. "It was a training programme. You all pass with flying colours." The Wabbit was aghast but the look on his face was nothing compared to Lapinette's. "What about the orange phantoms?" she said through gritted teeth. "Holograms," said Wabsworth. "The olives?" asked the Wabbit. "Drones," replied Wabsworth. "The crafts?" screeched Ghost Bunny. "DWA Space Programme III," sighed Wabsworth. They all seethed for a while. "OK, OK," said the Wabbit, calming down. "Wabsworth, who knew?" "Marshall Duetta," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit glanced over his shoulder to see Skratch in an angry conversation with Duetta and he adopted her silky smooth voice. "And who ordered the mission?" "Can't say," said Wabsworth. "Someone very high." The Wabbit drew close to Lapinette and whispered in a voice she knew well. "It might be someone high, but there's always someone higher."

20. Wabsworth brings them In

"This is Wabsworth in Ground Control. Come in Blue Craft." A puzzled Lapinette looked for something to speak into, then decided just to speak. "Copy you Wabsworth. All accounted for." There was rather a long pause. "Await further instructions." crackled the radio. Silence fell inside the craft as they watched Duetta's spiders surround the Olives and force them towards the surface. Out in space, Marshall Duetta Spyder picked up Wabsworth's signal. "What a pleasant surprise, Commander Wabsworth." Wabsworth grinned wryly although no-one could see him. "Marshall, please order your brigades to encircle and protect both blue and orange crafts." Duetta hovered gently as she sent out a telepathic signal. Immediately a dozen spider brigades converged on the crafts as they hurtled earthwards. The radio crackled again. "Marquesa, don't touch the controls, I'm bringing you in remotely." Lapinette looked at the Wabbit, the Wabbit glanced at Skratch the Cat then they all looked at Ghost Bunny. "By all the Ghosts of Pluto, I swear this was nothing to do with me," she breathed. "I suppose we'll find out when we land," said the Wabbit and he shrugged. "Do you think they have supplies on this ship?" wondered Lapinette. "What kind of supplies?" asked the Wabbit. "I'm a little thirsty," said Lapinette. The Wabbit laughed. "This is a ship after all," he said. "So we just have to find the cocktail cabinet."

19. The Wabbit and the Bay Door

Inside the blue craft, the Orange Phantom shouted loudly and tried to twist out of Skratch's grip. But Skratch had learned well from Puma and refused to release his prey. With a sudden sigh, the Phantom's wings detached, his cloak deflated and his head floated in the air. "Now!" shouted the Wabbit. "Everyone hang on!" yelled Lapinette and she span a wheel. Air hissed as a bay door opened and blue light pierced the craft. With a shove of his paw and a kick of his leg, Skratch sent what remained of the Orange Phantom spiralling into space - and straight into the grasp of Duetta's Red Spiders. "Doors!" shouted the Wabbit. With lightning speed, Lapinette span the wheel in the other direction and the bay door hissed shut. For a moment all that could be heard was the faint hum of the craft's life support system. "Phew," said Skratch, sniffing his paws. "He was a wriggler. That could have been a sticky situation."  Lapinette looked for somewhere to wipe her paws. "It still is," she grimaced. A heavy smell of citrus hung everywhere and she shook her head. "I don't like fruit," she said. "Neither do I," said Skratch."I don't mind bananas," said the Wabbit, but everyone ignored him. He looked around. "Ghost Bunny, what about you? Oranges or bananas?" Ghost Bunny gave a wail. "They just don't appeal."

18. Duetta and Uncooperative Olives

Marshall Duetta Spyder received a telepathic communication about the olives, but had already seen them rise out of the night sky. She made a wavy sign with one of her eight legs and all her spiders held position. "You are in controlled space," breathed Duetta in a silky telepathic voice. "Identify yourselves and state your business." There was a long pause before she became aware of the faintest of oily voices. "Controlled by whom?" "By me!" snapped Duetta. "But we are Primeval Olives," said the voice. "Yes I can see that." Duetta rubbed her two front legs together irritably and made clicking sounds that only the spiders could hear. "We were liberated from the alien craft by a strange rabbit," said the oily voice. Duetta also thought the Wabbit was strange but she snapped again. "That is the Commander!" Countless thousands of spiders hung in space awaiting Duetta’s next instruction. The oily voice returned. "We must seize the blue craft. Fall back." "The Commander is in charge of seizing things," said Duetta, "so stand down." "What if we don’t comply?" said the voice. "We will take you prisoner and destroy you later over cocktails," rasped Duetta and she made a wavy sign with another leg. All at once the spiders tripled in number and the synchronous rattle of millions of legs caused a shock wave that hurled the olives back ... 

17. The Wabbit and Primeval Surprise

The lights changed and the Orange Phantom lunged at the Wabbit. But with a move that he'd learned from Puma, Skratch the Cat pounced and gripped the Phantom in a headlock. Now the Wabbit looked at the Phantom with distaste. "Check him out," yelled Lapinette, who had taken the helm. The lights flickered as the Wabbit looked the Phantom over. "What exactly do we have here?" he muttered. He leant down and scooped the citrus slice from the Phantom's robe and held it up and looked at it. "Leave that alone!" spluttered the Phantom. But the slice was sticky. The Wabbit tried to detach his paws without success - so he squeezed, but it wasn't pips that emerged. The objects were green and had a single red eye. As they started to grow, Ghost Bunny fluttered down to have a closer look. "Primeval olives! Don't touch them Wabbit." The Wabbit's paws were already gooey, and he had no intention of sullying them further. He was content to watch as the olives floated towards the bulkhead, growing as they travelled. With a slight popping sound, they passed straight through the walls and were gone. The Wabbit turned. "OK Phantom, this is your last chance. Spill the beans." But the Phantom could only gasp in Skratch's vice-like grip. The Wabbit glanced at Lapinette. "What do you reckon?" "I reckon I need an aperitivo," she said.

16. The Wabbit & Red Citrus Spiders

Spiders came in their thousands - perhaps millions - and they filled the space around earth as if it was theirs to command. And despite their vast numbers, they moved with one single mind. "Red Citrus Spiders!" called Marshall Duetta Spyder telepathically. "Here!" The unified voice of the spiders whistled through the galaxy. "They have seized our worker energy," said Duetta. "So what shall we do?" "Take it back," came the single voice of the spiders, creating a wind of such force that it altered the course of major asteroids. There were so many spiders that their gravitational pull was overwhelming and it gripped the fabric of space in an increasingly tightening lattice. "Hold the orange crafts," commanded Duetta. "Leave the blue one for now, but be ready." Inside the blue craft the Wabbit turned to face his adversary. "What is this trickery?" snarled the Phantom. "No trickery," said the Wabbit. "These are citrus spiders." "What do they want with us?" asked the Phantom. The Wabbit shrugged. "They want to eat you," he said. "Citrus represents their energy and you stole it." "They are small," sneered the Phantom. The Wabbit raised an eye, bared all of his 28 teeth and snarled. "They are many!"

15. The Wabbit & the Lapinette Factor

The Orange Phantom burst through the hatch and he looked far from pleased. "Relinquish command of my craft!" he cried in an acid voice, "or else!" "Oh," said the Wabbit in mock disappointment. "No can do!" "Aaagh!" shrieked the Phantom. "You'll need to speak to my superior," said the Wabbit. "She deals with all that sort of thing." "The female?" gasped the Phantom. "Oh they're awfully nice when you get to know them," shrugged the Wabbit. It was the moment when Lapinette sprang into the air and rushed headlong at the Phantom with burning eyes. "All your crafts are impounded," she thundered with a controlled rage that made the Wabbit's eyes water. "Make your way to Wabbit Space Port 3 where your ships and cargo will be seized and your crew given tickets home." The Phantom seethed with fury and the Wabbit took advantage of the moment by fishing in his fur and murmuring, "Fix location."  "What did you say?" shouted the Phantom. "I need a vacation," said the Wabbit. "Don't we all?" A sound came from deep in the Wabbit's fur and the Phantom scowled. "What was that, earth creature?" "Indigestion," said the Wabbit. "Completely chronic." But the sound turned into Marshall Duetta Spyder's silky voice. "Citrus Spiders locked on your coordinates, Commander." "I heard that!" shouted the Phantom. The Wabbit shook his head sadly. "Tinnitus," he muttered.

14. The Wabbit and a Dive into Space

Skratch took the helm and dived and they all waited. But something didn't feel right and Skratch  upped the submarine periscope and squinted into the viewfinder. The Wabbit flinched but said he nothing. Skratch turned to look at the Wabbit and addressed him formally. "Commander, we appear to be in space." Lapinette caught the Wabbit's eye. "You knew?" "I more or less thought I knew," frowned the Wabbit. "What can you see?" "There are four astral bodies," reported Skratch, "and one of them is probably us." "Are we communicating?" asked the Wabbit. "Our craft is sending and the others are receiving," said Skratch. "They're beaming energy photonically," breathed Ghost Bunny. Skratch the Cat purred with delight. "Then this periscope is probably the control unit for the beam." The Wabbit had an idea. "Perform a 180° sweep, Skratch!" Skratch gradually twisted the scope to port and then to starboard. "Report!" snapped the Wabbit.  Skratch paused for a second. "It varies the quantity of energy to each of the other bodies in the system." "Switch it off," said the Wabbit. Skratch looked nonplussed, but Lapinette pointed to a red button and jabbed it with a paw. "And now?" asked the Wabbit. "The beams have faded Commander," mouthed Skratch but he could hardly be heard as an enormous bang split the air and their compartment hatch shook and started to open ...

13. The Wabbit in the Dark

They all blinked as their eyes tried to see in the ghostly glow. The Wabbit looked around and made out vague shapes and blinked again and counted. "We're one extra," he hissed and he poked the shape next to him. "Ouch," said a voice. Now everyone blinked rapidly and stared. The shape grew familiar and then spoke. "Oh it's you, Wabbit. I wondered where you were." The Wabbit shook his head. "How did you get here, Skratch?" Skratch also shook his head. "I'm not sure. I chased after you, then a force sucked me right into the craft" "You didn't see the Orange Phantom?" asked the Wabbit. "No but I heard voices shouting about cargo and I lay low." Once more, the Wabbit looked around - but things remained unclear. Then he remembered that Skratch had a cat's night vision and he made a wry grin. "What is this place Skratch?" Skratch raised his eyes. "At first I thought I was in a power station but then it struck me as more familiar." The Wabbit waited but Lapinette jumped in. "What on earth is it, Skratch?" "It looks like a submarine," came the reply. The Wabbit thought long and hard about crafts and planets and primeval atoms and nothing made any sense, except for one thing. "Skratch, can you sail it?" "I think so," said Skratch, "so what do you want me to do?" "Dive!" yelled the Wabbit.

12. The Wabbit and Undeclared Cargo

There was a rumbling and a crashing and the creature spoke for the first time. "Cargo arrives!" he shouted and started to spread his wings. Oranges shot through every gap and soon the room was swirling with them. Before long they assembled in formation behind the creature and the Wabbit became aware of the faintest hum. With it came an unpleasant vibration and the Wabbit began to feel distinctly uncomfortable, then nauseous. He looked at Lapinette but Lapinette was already turning away and Ghost Bunny had a pallor that defied colour itself. "Time to go!" shouted the Wabbit and he waved the way forward. "Where to?" shouted Lapinette. "Somewhere more congenial," yelled the Wabbit. But the floor began to feel sticky and a strong smell of citrus filled the room. The Wabbit pulled his feet from the tiles with difficulty, then managed to make some ground, but it was heavy going. Lapinette's long legs served better to coast over the surface and she nearly flew, while Ghost Bunny put her shoulder behind the Wabbit and pushed. They all shot forward and into another space. Suddenly there was no more sound or vibration or sticky citrus smell. Everything was still. They stayed panting in the darkness for a moment and then the Wabbit spoke. "Is this the way out?"

11.The Wabbit and Bureacratic Attack

If the interior of the craft was a surprise to the Wabbit, he didn't let it show, certainly not to the looming creature to whom he stretched a paw. "Commander Wabbit," he said. "Grand Mandarin of the Orange Guild." He gestured to Lapinette, then smiled broadly at the creature. "And this is my Darling, Clementine." Lapinette grinned a sickly grin but the creature said not a word. Ghost Bunny fluttered through the stream of phrases behind the curtain. "I am Commissioner Ghost Bunny of Pluto," she shrieked. The creature slid back. "Where are your papers?" yelled Ghost Bunny. The creature slid back further. "Oh don't mind her, she's doing her ghostly job," said the Wabbit in a reassuring tone. "All the same, we shall need your proof of payment for the cargo you shipped on board." The creature looked blank. "And recquisition and purchase orders, receipts and the waybill," added the Wabbit. He glanced across at Lapinette, who smiled sweetly and spoke softly. "We further require a list of all crew and their credentials and transit papers, duly stamped." Ghost Bunny shrieked without warning. "All galactic movements including destinations and flight plans must receive prior approval of the Galactic Space Safety Board! Where are your papers?" The Wabbit noted the creature's shake of the head and he shook his own sadly. "Then you must consider yourself under arrest."

10. The Wabbit & the Thing in the Way

The tangerine storm died down. But now the team faced a giant obstacle in the road and they studied what looked like a massive blue orange. For some time nothing happened but the Wabbit's ears twitched up at a faint rumbling and he stared at the bulging spot. "It moved," said the Wabbit. "What did?" asked Lapinette. "The bulgy bit," said the Wabbit. "Oh," said Lapinette, "that’s called the calyx." But just as she said “calyx”, there was judder and a hiss as a hatch swung back. The Blue Orange groaned as it became semi transparent and a series of words and phrases appeared. The Wabbit placed his paws behind his back, leaned forward and screwed up his eyes. "OK Lapinette, what are these?" Lapinette squinted too. "They look like commodities," she said, "resources, production ... and work hours too." Ghost Bunny nodded gravely. "This is probably where the Phantoms bring primeval atoms." “To take their energy," said the Wabbit. "Energy for their sun," added Lapinette. "What do you think is inside?" "Only one way to find out," chirped the Wabbit. He waved at the hatch and hopped back to take a run and jump. But he never had the chance to leap because they were seized by a force as strong as a billion vacuum cleaners. Unable to resist, they were sucked upwards and into the interior of the Blue Orange.

9 The Wabbit and the Tangerine Storm

The team headed up Corso Giulio Cesare which the Wabbit didn't like one bit, because he thought it was unlucky. He was still cold and muttering about the Ides of March, when he felt a light wind. "I have a bad feeling about this," said the Wabbit and then he cried with pain as a tangerine hit him full on the nose. With a suddeness that took them all by surprise, they were surrounded by a flurry of fruit. The Wabbt swayed back but Lapinette left the ground and two automatics flew from under her dress. The Wabbit clenched his 28 teeth as various items he kept in his fur spilled out and blew around. "The Tangerine Storm!" yelled Ghost Bunny. The Wabbit yelped as another tangerine whacked his forehead. "What do we do Ghost Bunny?" Lapinette strained to be heard above the wind. "Sit it out," screamed Ghost Bunny. "It will pass!" The Wabbit and Lapinette felt they were in no position to sit, but as suddenly as it had begun the tangerine storm passed and they dropped to the sidewalk like stones. "I bashed my knee," moaned the Wabbit. He looked aound for sympathy, but no sympathy was forthcoming. "This means war," he hissed, then thought of Brutus and quoted him. "We must take the current when it serves - or lose our dentures." "Ventures," sighed Lapinette.

8. The Wabbit and change in Weather

They lost sight of the Phantoms as they crossed the bridge and as they walked beside the river they felt a sudden chill. "It's happening, it's happening!" screeched Ghost Bunny. "What's happening?" shivered the Wabbit. Ghost Bunny shivered too. "This is how they do it," she moaned. Now the Wabbit was very cold and he grunted again. "Spit it out, Ghost Bunny!" Ghost Bunny wailed frantically. "They're looking for energy and when they find it, they'll take it." The Wabbit clapped his paws for heat and grunted again. "Then they convert it and their planet glows blue." continued Ghost Bunny. "I wish you'd tell us the whole story, Ghost Bunny," said Lapinette. "I feel rather in the dark." "The Phantoms worship their sun and continually feed it," sighed Ghost Bunny. "They rampage their constellation for loot." "We're too far away for that," scoffed the Wabbit. "Well, they must be desperate," replied Ghost Bunny and she haunted up and down for some time. "What are they looking for exactly?" asked the Wabbit. "Primeval atoms," said Ghost Bunny. "But they don't really exist, do they?" said Lapinette. "Oh they do, they do!" moaned Ghost Bunny. "Then what do they look like?" asked the Wabbit, stamping his feet. "They're about the size of a ..." Ghost Bunny thought for a second. "Tangerine?" suggested Lapinette.