14. The Wabbit and a Dive into Space

Skratch took the helm and dived and they all waited. But something didn't feel right and Skratch  upped the submarine periscope and squinted into the viewfinder. The Wabbit flinched but said he nothing. Skratch turned to look at the Wabbit and addressed him formally. "Commander, we appear to be in space." Lapinette caught the Wabbit's eye. "You knew?" "I more or less thought I knew," frowned the Wabbit. "What can you see?" "There are four astral bodies," reported Skratch, "and one of them is probably us." "Are we communicating?" asked the Wabbit. "Our craft is sending and the others are receiving," said Skratch. "They're beaming energy photonically," breathed Ghost Bunny. Skratch the Cat purred with delight. "Then this periscope is probably the control unit for the beam." The Wabbit had an idea. "Perform a 180° sweep, Skratch!" Skratch gradually twisted the scope to port and then to starboard. "Report!" snapped the Wabbit.  Skratch paused for a second. "It varies the quantity of energy to each of the other bodies in the system." "Switch it off," said the Wabbit. Skratch looked nonplussed, but Lapinette pointed to a red button and jabbed it with a paw. "And now?" asked the Wabbit. "The beams have faded Commander," mouthed Skratch but he could hardly be heard as an enormous bang split the air and their compartment hatch shook and started to open ...

13. The Wabbit in the Dark

They all blinked as their eyes tried to see in the ghostly glow. The Wabbit looked around and made out vague shapes and blinked again and counted. "We're one extra," he hissed and he poked the shape next to him. "Ouch," said a voice. Now everyone blinked rapidly and stared. The shape grew familiar and then spoke. "Oh it's you, Wabbit. I wondered where you were." The Wabbit shook his head. "How did you get here, Skratch?" Skratch also shook his head. "I'm not sure. I chased after you, then a force sucked me right into the craft" "You didn't see the Orange Phantom?" asked the Wabbit. "No but I heard voices shouting about cargo and I lay low." Once more, the Wabbit looked around - but things remained unclear. Then he remembered that Skratch had a cat's night vision and he made a wry grin. "What is this place Skratch?" Skratch raised his eyes. "At first I thought I was in a power station but then it struck me as more familiar." The Wabbit waited but Lapinette jumped in. "What on earth is it, Skratch?" "It looks like a submarine," came the reply. The Wabbit thought long and hard about crafts and planets and primeval atoms and nothing made any sense, except for one thing. "Skratch, can you sail it?" "I think so," said Skratch, "so what do you want me to do?" "Dive!" yelled the Wabbit.

12. The Wabbit and Undeclared Cargo

There was a rumbling and a crashing and the creature spoke for the first time. "Cargo arrives!" he shouted and started to spread his wings. Oranges shot through every gap and soon the room was swirling with them. Before long they assembled in formation behind the creature and the Wabbit became aware of the faintest hum. With it came an unpleasant vibration and the Wabbit began to feel distinctly uncomfortable, then nauseous. He looked at Lapinette but Lapinette was already turning away and Ghost Bunny had a pallor that defied colour itself. "Time to go!" shouted the Wabbit and he waved the way forward. "Where to?" shouted Lapinette. "Somewhere more congenial," yelled the Wabbit. But the floor began to feel sticky and a strong smell of citrus filled the room. The Wabbit pulled his feet from the tiles with difficulty, then managed to make some ground, but it was heavy going. Lapinette's long legs served better to coast over the surface and she nearly flew, while Ghost Bunny put her shoulder behind the Wabbit and pushed. They all shot forward and into another space. Suddenly there was no more sound or vibration or sticky citrus smell. Everything was still. They stayed panting in the darkness for a moment and then the Wabbit spoke. "Is this the way out?"

11.The Wabbit and Bureacratic Attack

If the interior of the craft was a surprise to the Wabbit, he didn't let it show, certainly not to the looming creature to whom he stretched a paw. "Commander Wabbit," he said. "Grand Mandarin of the Orange Guild." He gestured to Lapinette, then smiled broadly at the creature. "And this is my Darling, Clementine." Lapinette grinned a sickly grin but the creature said not a word. Ghost Bunny fluttered through the stream of phrases behind the curtain. "I am Commissioner Ghost Bunny of Pluto," she shrieked. The creature slid back. "Where are your papers?" yelled Ghost Bunny. The creature slid back further. "Oh don't mind her, she's doing her ghostly job," said the Wabbit in a reassuring tone. "All the same, we shall need your proof of payment for the cargo you shipped on board." The creature looked blank. "And recquisition and purchase orders, receipts and the waybill," added the Wabbit. He glanced across at Lapinette, who smiled sweetly and spoke softly. "We further require a list of all crew and their credentials and transit papers, duly stamped." Ghost Bunny shrieked without warning. "All galactic movements including destinations and flight plans must receive prior approval of the Galactic Space Safety Board! Where are your papers?" The Wabbit noted the creature's shake of the head and he shook his own sadly. "Then you must consider yourself under arrest."

10. The Wabbit & the Thing in the Way

The tangerine storm died down. But now the team faced a giant obstacle in the road and they studied what looked like a massive blue orange. For some time nothing happened but the Wabbit's ears twitched up at a faint rumbling and he stared at the bulging spot. "It moved," said the Wabbit. "What did?" asked Lapinette. "The bulgy bit," said the Wabbit. "Oh," said Lapinette, "that’s called the calyx." But just as she said “calyx”, there was judder and a hiss as a hatch swung back. The Blue Orange groaned as it became semi transparent and a series of words and phrases appeared. The Wabbit placed his paws behind his back, leaned forward and screwed up his eyes. "OK Lapinette, what are these?" Lapinette squinted too. "They look like commodities," she said, "resources, production ... and work hours too." Ghost Bunny nodded gravely. "This is probably where the Phantoms bring primeval atoms." “To take their energy," said the Wabbit. "Energy for their sun," added Lapinette. "What do you think is inside?" "Only one way to find out," chirped the Wabbit. He waved at the hatch and hopped back to take a run and jump. But he never had the chance to leap because they were seized by a force as strong as a billion vacuum cleaners. Unable to resist, they were sucked upwards and into the interior of the Blue Orange.

9 The Wabbit and the Tangerine Storm

The team headed up Corso Giulio Cesare which the Wabbit didn't like one bit, because he thought it was unlucky. He was still cold and muttering about the Ides of March, when he felt a light wind. "I have a bad feeling about this," said the Wabbit and then he cried with pain as a tangerine hit him full on the nose. With a suddeness that took them all by surprise, they were surrounded by a flurry of fruit. The Wabbt swayed back but Lapinette left the ground and two automatics flew from under her dress. The Wabbit clenched his 28 teeth as various items he kept in his fur spilled out and blew around. "The Tangerine Storm!" yelled Ghost Bunny. The Wabbit yelped as another tangerine whacked his forehead. "What do we do Ghost Bunny?" Lapinette strained to be heard above the wind. "Sit it out," screamed Ghost Bunny. "It will pass!" The Wabbit and Lapinette felt they were in no position to sit, but as suddenly as it had begun the tangerine storm passed and they dropped to the sidewalk like stones. "I bashed my knee," moaned the Wabbit. He looked aound for sympathy, but no sympathy was forthcoming. "This means war," he hissed, then thought of Brutus and quoted him. "We must take the current when it serves - or lose our dentures." "Ventures," sighed Lapinette.

8. The Wabbit and change in Weather

They lost sight of the Phantoms as they crossed the bridge and as they walked beside the river they felt a sudden chill. "It's happening, it's happening!" screeched Ghost Bunny. "What's happening?" shivered the Wabbit. Ghost Bunny shivered too. "This is how they do it," she moaned. Now the Wabbit was very cold and he grunted again. "Spit it out, Ghost Bunny!" Ghost Bunny wailed frantically. "They're looking for energy and when they find it, they'll take it." The Wabbit clapped his paws for heat and grunted again. "Then they convert it and their planet glows blue." continued Ghost Bunny. "I wish you'd tell us the whole story, Ghost Bunny," said Lapinette. "I feel rather in the dark." "The Phantoms worship their sun and continually feed it," sighed Ghost Bunny. "They rampage their constellation for loot." "We're too far away for that," scoffed the Wabbit. "Well, they must be desperate," replied Ghost Bunny and she haunted up and down for some time. "What are they looking for exactly?" asked the Wabbit. "Primeval atoms," said Ghost Bunny. "But they don't really exist, do they?" said Lapinette. "Oh they do, they do!" moaned Ghost Bunny. "Then what do they look like?" asked the Wabbit, stamping his feet. "They're about the size of a ..." Ghost Bunny thought for a second. "Tangerine?" suggested Lapinette.

7. The Wabbit and the Manifestation

The Wabbit was hot, his brain was hot and his gun was hot. At this precise juncture, there was little about the Wabbit that was cool. The temperature rose steadily as Lapinette, Ghost Bunny and the Wabbit toured the city for the Orange Phantoms without success. But as they climbed the old stairs to the ancient monastery, they suddenly materialised. Phantoms wafted down the steps wihout so much as by your leave and the Wabbit growled under his breath. "Halt!" he shouted, but nothing happened. Nothing whatsoever. Except that the Phantoms kept coming. "Hold onto your fur!" shouted Ghost Bunny and braced herself as they marched closer and closer and passed straight through everyone. "Ooooh," said Lapinette, "that felt clammy hot." "I hate that," said Ghost Bunny. "Good grief," muttered the Wabbit. "They're not the slightest bit interested in us." "Are you upset?" laughed Lapinette. "Not at all," said the Wabbit. "No offence taken. I guess shooting them won't work then?" Ghost Bunny shook her head. "They like energy." "I could use some myself," said the Wabbit wearily. "I suppose we'd better follow them," suggested Lapinette. "How long can you follow an orange?" asked the Wabbit. Lapinette smiled. "Until they run out of juice."

6. The Wabbit & the Orange Phantoms

The Wabbit relayed Skratch's information about the Orange Sun and Ghost Bunny said "I told you so." "Told me what?" The Wabbit was discourteous when he got really hot. "I told you about Planet HD 62509b." wailed Ghost Bunny. Now the Wabbit was flummoxed. "Why can't they give planets sensible names!" he shouted. "Like Luigi," offered Lapinette, who was familiar with the Wabbit's fits of annoyance. "Perhaps the Planet of Phantoms isn't good enough for you," moaned Ghost Bunny, who was also getting annoyed. "Oh sorry everyone," said the Wabbit, "I need some shade." Lapinette looked around for shade before the Wabbit became furious. "What about down there? "she suggested. Then she paused. "What's up?" asked the Wabbit. "I don't suppose these phantoms are orange?" Lapinette pointed vaguely downwards. "Of course they're orange," snapped Ghost Bunny, "what colour do you think they should be?" "Then they're already here," sighed Lapinette. The Wabbit summoned the strength to shrug. "Are they dangerous?" Ghost Bunny moaned and blanched in fright. The Wabbit didn't know ghosts could turn pale so he tried to soothe her. "Orange Phantoms," he said pithily. "At least we can 'peel 'em." "Pip-squeaks," smiled Lapinette.

5. Skratch the Cat and the Two Suns

Skratch stood on the platform at Santa Maria del Monte and watched the city as instructed. But it was so hot he switched his radio to paws-free and rested it on a wall. The radio crackled. Skratch put a paw across his eyes and purred gently without much energy. "Receiving, go ahead." "What can you see from up there?" The Wabbit's voice was terse and Skratch matched it. "Does two suns sound normal to you, Wabbit?" There was a hissing and it wasn't the radio. "Only on Kepler 2b and it 600 light years away!" The Wabbit sounded bad tempered and Skratch wanted to join him. "Well frankly, one sun looks a bit like an orange." "I don't like oranges," said the Wabbit. "I can't stand them myself," replied Skratch. The radio went silent for some time and then suddenly burst into life. "Even the radio's bad-tempered," thought Skratch.  The Wabbit's voice was hoarse. "Can you see any tangerines?" "I can see small orange things approaching the second sun," observed Skratch. "How do you know it's the second and not the first?" The Wabbit sounded exasperated. "It's got no clouds across it," groaned Skratch, "how hot is it down there?" The radio crackled again. "I saw a chicken lay an omelet."

4. The Wabbit & the Wayward Tangerine

When Ghost Bunny and the Wabbit reached Pluto Park they were broiling in the heat of the sun. Lapinette waved across the tram tracks. "Hello, hello! It's just too darn hot to mention." "We're having a heat wave," said the Wabbit and he juggled some tangerines that he's found in the street. "A tropical heat wave," added Ghost Bunny. Lapinette picked up more tangerines and threw them at the Wabbit and the Wabbit included them in his juggle. "Where did all the tangerines come from?" asked Lapinette. "They must have dropped off the back of a lorry," said the Wabbit and he threw one tangerine quite high. But the tangerine didn't drop, it kept going. "Come back!" shouted the Wabbit and he tried to grab it. But it eluded his grasp and sailed off. "You don't see that every day," said Lapinette, picking up more tangerines. "There's something fishy about this," wailed Ghost Bunny. She floated after the tangerine, observed it closely and then returned. "It's not coming back," she whispered. "I wouldn't normally care," said the Wabbit, who generally avoided citrus things. "But now I'm hot and bothered and taking things to heart." "It's not personal," said Ghost Bunny. "It's being drawn by an unknown force." "What would attract a tangerine?" mused Lapinette. One by one they looked skywards. 

3. The Wabbit and the Big Heat

The Wabbit thought little more about the planet from the Gemini Constellation, but something unsettled him and he couldn't sleep. So he went for an early walk to greet the rosy-fingered dawn. On his way he bumped into Ghost Bunny who was fluttering down Corso Francia on her way to Pluto Park. "Hauntingly hot, Wabbit," she moaned. She reached out and pulled a pair of sunglasses from the Wabbit's fur, then put them on. "I'm baking," said the Wabbit. They both looked up and the Wabbit shielded his eyes. "Did you hear about the planet from Pollux?" he ventured. Ghost Bunny looked quizzical under her glasses. "Do tell," she wailed softly. The Wabbit grinned. "A planet broke orbit and it's supposed to be headed here." Ghost Bunny blinked. "What colour planet, do you know?" "It looks like an orange," said the Wabbit. There was a silence and the Wabbit saw that Ghost Bunny was trembling. "Danger danger!" she shrieked suddenly. The Wabbit was surprised because he knew that nothing frightened Ghost Bunny with the exception of Puma. "How close is it?" asked Ghost Bunny. "Not too far," smiled the Wabbit.  "Aaaaaaaagh," shrieked Ghost Bunny. "Red alert!" The Wabbit raised an eye. "It's planet HD 62509b," she explained. "We call it the Planet of Phantoms ..."

2. The Wabbit and a Star called Pollux

There wasn't much on the Wabbit's desk except for a small disk marked "View immediately without delay." So he hopped to a small cinema in Via Nizza where he had an arrangement. The Wabbit sprawled in his seat and rustled a copy of Popular Astronomy that he had bought on a whim at the railway station. "The Milky Way!" boomed a voice, "a spiral just like the shell of the common snail." The Wabbit looked at his magazine and yawned. "Tell us something we don't know." The voice boomed again. "What you don't know is that a planet from the Gemini constellation has broken orbit and is heading this way." "It looks like an orange," snorted the Wabbit. "It looks rather like an orange," continued the voice. "And it formerly orbited the K-type star, Pollux." The Wabbit suddenly paid attention. "Castor and Pollux," he breathed. "The seamen's friends." He put down his magazine and stared at the screen. "Where's Gemini?" The voice sighed. "Where it usually is. Right ascension 07h 45m 18.94987s. Declination +28° 01′ 34.3160."  "And how far away is the object now?" hissed the Wabbit. "20 light years and closing, Commander." The Wabbit sniffed. "And how long is a bit of string?" "Twice as long as half the length," said the voice.

1. The Wabbits head Home

"Everything ship-shape?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit's jeep was perfectly safe on the Streets of New York and had even been given a wash, so he leaned back. "You drive," he said." "Then you get dinner," replied Lapinette. "Deal," said the Wabbit. "And I don't mean Menu of the Day," said Lapinette firmly. "I want a treat with tablecloths and napkins and different sized glasses." "OK," agreed the Wabbit, rummaging in his fur for lunch vouchers. Lapinette crashed the jeep into gear. "How are the others getting back?" The jeep lurched forward as the Wabbit thought for a second and counted on his paw. "Puma's on public transport. Moloch's using his 7 league boots, Wabsworth and Skratch are in Turbina the Jet Car." Lapinette frowned. "What about Robot?" The Wabbit shook his head. "He has another football match." Lapinette turned on the radio. A frantic sports commentator listed team line-ups in a nasally voice. Lapinette switched the radio off. "What are we going to do for our next adventure?" she asked. "I'm sure there's something waiting on my desk," said the Wabbit. "I feel it in my waters." Lapinette suppressed a smile. "Do you want me find out? I'll radio Ledger, back at base." "It'll keep," snapped the Wabbit quickly. Lapinette smirked. "It's 700 kilometers to Turin." "Are we there yet?" said the Wabbit.

The Adventure Caffè at Cinecittà

"Can I say it, can I say it, can I say it?" Moloch's voice boomed from the back. The Wabbit glanced at Skratch the Cat and Skratch nodded his approval. Moloch cleared his throat and spread his considerable arms. "What was that for a kind of adventure?" he yelled. Lapinette shook her ears. "It was just a story." Skratch thrust himself forward. "Just a story?" he snorted. "Stories are the life blood of ..." Skratch paused because he couldn't think what to say next. "Existence?" suggested the Wabbit. Wabsworth rapped the table for attention and addressed Lapinette. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Lapinette, than are dreamt of in your morphology." Skratch applauded. "Well put Wabsworth!" The Wabbit also rapped the table. "That was a pastiche of Cabiria, a Turin product and the best silent film ever made." "Oh was Cabiria a film?" said Moloch. "I could have sworn it was real." "That's the whole point," said Skratch, "and by the way, where are the aperitivi?" "Moloch was supposed to get them," said the Wabbit, turning. "I'm a bit short," said Moloch. "Could you lend me 50 euro until Friday?" "It is Friday," smiled Lapinette. And they all laughed and laughed and laughed.