Monday, December 16, 2013

1.The Wabbit & the Christmas Mission

The team left the Adventure Caffè, but Lapinette heard a crackle on her radio and hung back. She placed a paw on the Wabbit's arm and spoke urgently. "Where?" The radio crackled again. "How?" The Wabbit cringed because he knew this was serious. His eyes drifted upwards and he spotted his friend, Tenri the Food Dragon, circling high above. Lapinette signed off and looked at the Wabbit and the Wabbit looked back with a wrinkly nose. "Rome for Christmas?" he said. Lapinette nodded. "Robot was in Rome for a football match, but he's gone missing." "That's not like him. He usually comes back waving a scarf and whirling a noisy thing." Lapinette frowned. "The word is he's been kidnapped along with some other luminaries." "Any sign of a ransom note?" asked the Wabbit. "Not so far," said Lapinette. The Wabbit made a funny sound with his teeth." "When do we leave?" "It'll take a day to get organised," said Lapinette. "I'll get my stuff," said the Wabbit. Lapinette looked surprised because she thought the Wabbit kept everything in his fur. "What kind of stuff?" "Kidnapping stuff," he hissed. Lapinette took a deep breath. "How shall we travel?" "Mob-handed*," said the Wabbit. 
[*Mob-handed: In considerable numbers, looking for trouble]

Friday, December 13, 2013

The Wabbit and a new Adventure Caffè

In a new caffè some way out of town, the team gathered to discuss the latest adventure. Skratch arrived late and paused at a wine barrel to beat a jolly tune with his paws. "Oh oh oh. What was that," he sang, "for a sort of adventure for a cat?" "I'll answer this time," said Wabsworth. "Do tell," smiled Lapinette. "It was modernist, yet anti realist," stated Wabsworth solemnly. Skratch had taken some time to warm to Wabsworth but he nodded his head approvingly. "Mmm, yes" said Skratch and then he grinned. "But I'm not anti realist as such," he said. "I just prefer a different realism." The Wabbit chipped in. "How many realisms are there anyway?" Lapinette pointed and counted round the group. "Four to start with!" "I fear we're falling into the pit of relativism," said the Wabbit and nudged Lapinette under the table. "How deep is that?" asked Wabsworth. "River deep, mountain high!" said Skratch. Everyone laughed and laughed, but the Wabbit decided that frivolity had gone too far. "The service here is a little slow," he commented and now I'm thirsty." "I'll have a Cabiria," said Wabsworth. "It might be a while. I think the waiters have been kidnapped," said the Wabbit.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

13. The Wabbit's Dimensional Regularisor

The Wabbit and Wabsworth assembled everything they could find and made a Dimensional Regularisor. The Wabbit had shrugged and said “How hard can it be?” and they made it in no time. Now, via a secret passage known only to the Wabbit, they located in a hidden corner of the Late Tunnel and pedalled up the eco-generator. Inside the tram, it looked as if nothing had happened, but the Wabbit could see Lapinette was suddenly aware and looking out the window. “Everyone keep calm,” muttered the Wabbit to no one in particular. He gave the generator another three turns for luck and shouted to Wabsworth. "Hit it!" Sparks shot from electrodes and two lightning bolts leapt across the void to hit the Regularisor they had fashioned from an old flight controller. The reggae creatures assembled into groups as the tram started to shimmer. "I think its working," said the Wabbit. "I had no doubt," said Wabsworth. "So what do we do for an encore?" mused the Wabbit. "Replace all the lost and found objects I suppose. That might be fun." Wabsworth smiled broadly. "What about the Number Nine Tram and passengers? I suppose we should bring them back to normal life." "What's that like?" asked the Wabbit.

Monday, December 09, 2013

12. The Wabbit and Wabworld W.

Wabsworth, the Wabbit’s android double, looked on as the Wabbit rummaged through his fur for a suitable tool to fix the affects of the Late Tunnel and the Reggae Creatures. Occasionally he caught tools and placed them on the ground, but some he kept and tucked into his own fur. The Wabbit clutched one of his favourite combination gadgets and stopped. "Are we there yet?" he asked. "I think so" said Wabsworth. "I think we can make a Dimensional Regularisor from these." "I have a few more things," said the Wabbit digging deeper. "What about a power supply?" asked Wabsworth. "I have a battery pack and a multi connector," said the Wabbit." "Or a wind-up eco special, made to help the Third World." Wabsworth shook his head. "How many worlds are there?" "I rather lost count," shrugged the Wabbit. "So what about our world?" asked Wabsworth. "We don’t have a number," said the Wabbit. "We exist in a different space." "Nevertheless," announced Wabsworth with passion, "it should have a designation." The Wabbit paused, then explained that three working parties and no less than seven task forces had failed to agree and were still arguing about it. "My suggestion is "Wabworld W," said the Wabbit. "I like that," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit grinned a very broad grin indeed.  "That now makes two of us."

Friday, December 06, 2013

11. The Wabbit and the Market Psyche

Just as Wabsworth replied "Yes and No", the scene changed. "Are we still in your wabitronic psyche?" asked the Wabbit. "Yes," said Wabsworth. "This is a part of your psyche I left unchanged." "Why?" asked the Wabbit. Wabsworth smiled, even though he was an android. "I suppose it's respect for your organisation of things." The Wabbit looked all around as they ambled through the market. "It's neater than I thought." Wabsworth nodded vigourously. "This is a psychic sub routine for finding things. Everything we need is - somewhere." The Wabbit shrugged. "Something for sorting out the effect of the Late Tunnel," he murmured. "And the reggae creatures," said Wabsworth. "One thing, Wabsworth," said the Wabbit, "are we here or not here?" Wabsworth turned and shrugged exactly like the Wabbit. "Everything is here and not here." "Are we still in the Late Tunnel then?" "More or less," said Wabsworth. "We're are also not there, but no-one there has a clue we're not there." "Or not here," commented the Wabbit. "You're getting the hang of this," chuckled Wabsworth. "So what do we need?" asked the Wabbit. Wabsworth smiled maliciously. "What have you got in your fur?" "A Hadron Collider," suggested the Wabbit. "That's a sledgehammer to crack a nut," said Wabsworth." "I've got a sledgehammer," said the Wabbit.

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

10. The Wabbit in the Drawing Room

Now that he was inside Wabsworth's wabitronic psyche, the Wabbit looked all around. Then he looked at Wabsworth and thought. When the Wabbit's android double, Wabsworth came into being, he was a copy of the Wabbit. But time had passed and Wabsworth had laid down his own thoughts and ways of doing. The Wabbit knew this and he was used to it. "Nice drawing room," he said. "Most minimalist." "I've been working on your psyche," said Wabsworth, "and this is the result." The Wabbit briefly wondered where he would put his collection of scratchy old records, but he moved swiftly to the matter in paw. "What's going on?" Wabsworth stuck a paw in his fur and inclined his ears, just like the Wabbit. "Did you notice the shape of the reggae creatures from the Late Tunnel?" The Wabbit shook his head. "They're equations," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit shook his head again. "Schrödinger's equations," added Wabsworth. "You became entangled with objects important to you. But I'm afraid they're both here and not here at the same time." "We're here though, aren't we?" queried the Wabbit. "Yes and no," said Wabsworth.

Monday, December 02, 2013

9. The Wabbit in the Wabitronic Psyche

As his singing died away, the Wabbit found himself floating ethereally outside the Tram. Suddenly he caught sight of Wabsworth's disembodied head floating equally ethereally above him and he could hear his voice repeating something. "Concentrate on me, Wabbit. concentrate on me, Wabbit. Concentrate on me, Wabbit." So the Wabbit concentrated very hard indeed. "What's happening, Wabsworth?" he croaked. "You're so desperately entangled," said Wabsworth, "that I've been forced to image you inside my wabitronic psyche." The Wabbit's eyes glazed slightly but he could hear Wabsworth speaking softly. "In this space, we can begin to disentangle everything." "What about the tram?" asked the Wabbit. "I've suspended tram and passengers," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit looked at the tram and he could see everything was roughly the same. "What about the reggae creatures?" asked the Wabbit. "Especially them," said Wabsworth. "We need to embark on urgent discussions, so will you come to my wabitronic drawing room?" "I didn't know you had a drawing room," said the Wabbit in a surprised voice. "We all have a drawing room," laughed Wabsworth. "How else did we come into being?"

Friday, November 29, 2013

The Wabbit hops with Marco Mengoni

When the friends turned round, they were in for a shock. "Marco!" sighed Lapinette. "Signor Mengoni?" said the Wabbit. "I'm captivated by your singing meaow!" purred Skratch. "What are you doing here in the Late Tunnel?" asked Wabsworth from the back. "Perché tu sarai sempre il mio solo destino," said Marco, "voglio soltanto amarti senza mai nessun freno.*" "Nice of you to say so, Marco," said Nine the Tram. "Would you like some sand for your brakes?" Marco chuckled. "What am I doing here exactly?" "You've become entangled with us," said Lapinette. "It's a quantum thing." Marco wrinked his nose. "But I'm late for my concert." "Oh, don't worry," said the Wabbit, "you're in the Late Tunnel. You can just pop up later and no-one will ever know you were late." Wabsworth waved his paws urgently. "That's why we're entangled!" Marco looked round."Who are these creatures outside?" "These are the reggae creatures!" said the Wabbit. "Reggae creatures? There's your entanglement answer!" said Wabsworth. Marco nodded and hummed a tune. "We feel it in the one drop; we're lucky!" "For we still got time to rap," harmonised the Wabbit. "And we making the one stop," meaowed Skratch. "And we fillin' the gap," sang Lapinette. "Che pazienza!*" muttered Nine.

[* Because you'll always be my only destiny, I just want to love you without any brakes
* Give me patience!]

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

7. The Wabbit in the Flash Frame

"But how do we get to the Late Tunnel?" asked Lapinette. "This way!" said Nine, the Number Nine Tram and he jumped off the bridge. "Aaaaagh!" shouted Wabsworth as the sky turned black and buildings stood out like pop up pictures. The river churned as Nine plunged beneath the surface. "Don't people see that?" asked Skratch. "Vaguely" said Nine. "Oh, people can be quite unaware," smiled Lapinette. "I think they see it but they don't believe it," said the Wabbit, "then in a twenty-fifth of a second we've gone." "Like a flash frame!" said Skratch. "We'll be there in a flash!" said Nine, "so please relax and soon we'll be in the grey zone." "Let me get this exactly right," said Wabsworth. "If we're late, we can stay in the Late Tunnel?" "Then we materialise somewhere ahead, appearing to have maintained our schedule," said the Wabbit and he clapped his paws in delight. Wabsworth looked a little worried. "I don't know Wabbit, In physics you get nothing for nothing." "Sometimes you get less," laughed Lapinette. "What is nothing anyway?" asked Skratch. "There is no such thing as nothing," said Wabsworth. There was a sudden hiss of compressed air. "Except in the Grey Zone," said Nine.

Monday, November 25, 2013

6. The Wabbit arranges a Trip

The Wabbit made a call and within moments, Nine, the Number 9 Tram rumbled into sight. Skratch the Cat pointed to Nine's rear and the Wabbit was aghast. "My goodness Nine, where did you get the graffiti?" "The Saturday football run," said Nine. The Wabbit shook his head sadly but ushered everyone on board. "Where's Wabsworth? He's late." "Here he comes now," said Lapinette. "I went for tickets," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit shook his head again. "We're going to the Late Tunnel and tickets don't exist for this zone." "Well, you never know," said Wabsworth. Nine made a hiss of compressed air. "There are no inspectors in the Late Tunnel," he said. "Please take your seats." "Is there any food? asked Wabsworth. "I have some small Jamaican dumplings in plastic packs," said Nine. The Wabbit scowled because his aversion to dumplings was well known. "We can always use them as ammunition," he quipped and he firmly waved a paw towards Nine. Lapinette hesitated. "What's the Late Tunnel like?" "Relaxing," said the Wabbit. The friends took their seats as advised and reggae music filled the tram. "Who's singing?" asked Skratch. The Wabbit effected a knowledgeable stance. "Eek-A-Mouse!" he smiled. "Where?" yelled Skratch. 

Friday, November 22, 2013

5. The Wabbit sees Doubles

The friends waited until the hop-on hop-off bus reached Lingotto, then dived round the back of the shopping centre. The Wabbit nudged Skratch. "I told you so!" he murmured. "Told me what? replied Skratch. "There was more to come," said the Wabbit, pointing with a trembling paw. "Have you ever seen anything like it?" "In a nightmare," said Skratch, "I once dreamed we were all ghosts who haunted shopping centres until the end of time." The Wabbit shuddered. Wabsworth flicked his ears. "They're not ghosts exactly." Skratch looked at the Wabbit. The Wabbit looked back, then turned to Wabsworth. "What do you mean exactly?"  Wabsworth's ears flicked again. "I'm picking up a strange signal that suggests they're partially entangled." "Entangled with what?" asked the Wabbit. "Entangled with us," said Wabsworth. "Well I don't want to be entangled," said Skratch, "I'm against it. And that cat is all wrong." Wabsworth's ears quivered. "It's something to do with the Wabbit." The Wabbit flinched. "Wabbit, have you been anywhere strange lately?" Now the Wabbit shrugged defensively. "Only the Late Tunnel." Wabsworth's brain whirred. "Can you get us back there?" I suppose I can," said the Wabbit. "Do you have any spare lunch vouchers?"

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

4. The Wabbit & the Giant Drink

The Wabbit, Wabsworth and Skratch the cat hopped on the hop-on hop-off bus and acting on advice from a secret source, waited patiently for it to reach Palazzo Madama. Wabsworth insisted on paying for three tickets even though the Wabbit had a pefectly amicable arrangment with the driver. The Wabbit shook his head sadly. "That will do for 24 hours," explained Wabsworth. "We might need more time." "You might be right." Skratch pointed to the street. "Just look at that!" The Wabbit gazed in amazement as a giant can of his favourite drink materialised in the street. "It's crystallised," said Wabsworth. "Maybe someone left it too long in a freezer." The bus stopped for quite a while because traffic had come to a standstill. "Shall we get off?" asked Skratch. "No," said the Wabbit. "I think there's more to come." A whirring sound came from Wabsworth and the Wabbit looked round. "It's my positronic memory," said Wabsworth. "It's reminding me it's time for a snack." "But you're an android," puzzled Skratch. "That doesn't mean I don't get hungry," said Wabsworth, "so what shall we have to drink?" "Let's hop off and have an aperitivo," suggested the Wabbit. "Don't these buses have bars?" asked Skratch.

Monday, November 18, 2013

3. Skratch foregrounds the Signifier

Acting on information received, the Wabbit and his android double, Wabsworth, hurried to Via Pianezza to meet Skratch. "Skratch!" shouted the Wabbit. "What's with the sign?" Skratch looked very relieved, but smiled all the same. "Wabbit, you know perfectly well that a sign doesn't really exist. It is merely a concept." "It looks like quite a heavy concept," said Wabsworth. Skratch winked at Wabsworth. "It appeared from nowhere," he said. "It materialised?" suggested the Wabbit. "No," said Skratch, shaking his head. "It kind of swam into focus." The Wabbit and Wabsworth looked at each other, then Wabsworth turned to Skratch. "Things have been disappearing," he explained, "and they lose focus first." They thought in silence for a while, but the Wabbit was the first to speak. "Objects are disappearing," he said raising a paw.  Everyone nodded. "And objects are appearing," he added, raising another paw. Everyone nodded. The Wabbit spread his paws wide. "But they are not the same objects!" "That's obvious, Wabbit," purred Skratch. Now Wabsworth looked at Skratch. "What are you doing with the signifier?" "Taking it back to Cine Spezia in Via Nizza," said Skratch. "That's an adult cinema," exclaimed the Wabbit. "Is it?" said Skratch. "I thought it was experimental."

Friday, November 15, 2013

2. The Wabbit and the Vanishing Objects

The Wabbit met his android double, Wabsworth, at the Palace to discuss the question of the disappearing objects - but things were already out of control. "Thank goodness you're here Wabbit!" yelled Wabsworth. "I've been trying to keep things from vanishing by standing on them, but I just end up on the floor." The Wabbit watched a piece of mosaic go out of focus and tried to grab it, but it floated into the air, became transparent and disappeared. "We have to be more organised," said Wabsworth, "or the whole city will dispppear and us with it." "What!" shouted the Wabbit. "Have any of our friends vanished?" "Not yet," replied Wabsworth. "But Lapinette's lost her whole wardrobe." The Wabbit cringed. "I'll bet she's hopping mad, Anything else?" "Wabsworth lurched down from a rapidly fading artefact and stared at the Wabbit. "She said your secret stash of Irn Bru lemonade had gone." The Wabbit turned pale. "This means war!" he shouted. He shook a paw at the ceiling and paced the length of the room. "The laws of physics say these things will show up somewhere." he decided. "What kind of somewhere?" asked Wabsworth. "The middle of somewhere," said the Wabbit.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

1. The Wabbit visits his Desk

The Wabbit paid a visit to his desk, a fairly unusual occurrence because the Wabbit hated paperwork. It was littered with the remains of an old project and everything seemed to be as he left it. The Wabbit rummaged a bit. "It's not precisely as I left it," he murmured to himself. Now Lapinette had put assignment instructions somewhere, but she usually used email. So the Wabbit tipped and tapped and there it was - in his inbox, labelled "Alice, Bob and Eve" which was their secret code for secret messages. The Wabbit left it where it was for a moment and scanned the desk again. "I'm sure I left a something here and now it's gone." The Wabbit knew the removal of an object was unlikely since the facility was top secure and the cleaners never came near his desk, fearing booby traps. "Perhaps the something got inside something else," thought the Wabbit. He flicked through a few books, then pressed a series of keys for double layer decryption and opened his mail.
To: Commander Wabbit: From: Wabbit Command. Reference: Disappearing things. Message: Things have been going out of focus and disappearing. Please rectify. 
The Wabbit looked at the mail and as he thought about the problem, the message went out of focus, then disappeared ...