The Wabbit and the Next Adventure

"Why so glum, Wabbit?" said Lapinette. "I'm waiting on my mission papers, but nothing has come up," said the Wabbit and he stuffed his paws in his fur, despite the heat. "You could catch up on your paperwork," suggested Lapinette, watching for the horrified look that would appear on the Wabbit's face. "I've asked Ledger the Accountant to have a go at that," said the Wabbit, calmly, "because apparently, I have to delegate." Lapinette smiled and spread her paws. "I was at the unusual, but not entirely unexpected events committee yesterday." "What does everyone talk about?" asked the Wabbit, brightening. "Usually nothing much," said Lapinette, "but yesterday there was a dossier on the Gnamskulls." "Never heard of them," said the Wabbit, dismissively "You should have," said Lapinette. "They'll eat anything, no matter how awful." "Nothing unusual there," said the Wabbit, thinking of a restaurant he had passed in Via Nizza. "Through their eyes!" said Lapinette. "Ooooh!" gasped the Wabbit. "How enticingly stomach churning." "If you're interested, I'll pass you the papers tomorrow," said Lapinette. "I'll run my eye across them," said the Wabbit.

The 400 Rabbits remember Buddy

The Wabbit addressed the special gathering of the 400 Rabbits to remember one of their number who had fallen. "Rabbits! called the Wabbit. "How many are you?" "We are 400!" came the thunderous reply. "Why are we here today?" said the Wabbit. "To remember the first of the 400," cried the Rabbits in unison. The Wabbit hesitated and looked down at all of the 400 Rabbits. Then his head raised to look at the picture on the screen. "400 Rabbits," asked the Wabbit quietly, "What was his name?" "Buddy," answered the Rabbits. "How shall we remember Buddy?" said Lapinette, hopping forward. "Fondly," murmured the 400. "There can't be another like Buddy," said the Wabbit. "It isn't possible." There was a sad sigh from the gathering. "But we are all different," continued the Wabbit, "and we all have our distinct contribution to make. So each and every one of us will pause for a minute's silence to remember him in our own own special way." Absolute silence reigned in the Big Shed as everything fell still and everyone remembered. And there were so many memories that the minute seemed to turn to an hour. The Wabbit ended the silence with a twitch of a paw and raised his voice. "How many are we now?" he shouted. "400!" came the reply.

The Wabbit's After Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit and Lovely Lapinette were enjoying a quiet break when both Skratch the Cat and the former Cardinal Lapin arrived at the same time. "Sua Santità," said Skratch. "I offer you congratulations on your recent appointment." "Ah, Skratch," said Lapin, "I've heard all about you. Now tell me. What kind of adventure was that?" Skratch was jubilant and addressed the Wabbit. "It was a tour de force." The Wabbit raised a questioning eye. Skratch winked at Lapinette. "But deeply flawed!" he added. Now the Wabbit beamed with an astonishing beam. "Best thing you ever said! Refreshments all round!" He turned to Lapin. "So what will you have?" "I usually have a small amaro dei frati," smiled Lapin. "Diesus," called the Wabbit and everyone smiled. Then the Wabbit became serious. "My good friend Lapin, will you exercise a preferential option for the excluded?" "And obtain justice for the animals," said Lapinette." "And help the marginalised and defenceless." said Skratch. Lapin smiled. "It looks like I'd better start now. Anything else for the first week?"
[Diesus: a digestive amaro liqueur made by an order of monks (Amaro dei Frati)]

11. The Wabbit gets there in Time

St  Peter's Square was resplendent with loudspeakers and chairs and the Wabbit looked around. "Looks like we got here just in time for you to give your promotion address," he said. Cardinal Lapin grinned. "Just as well," he said, "this wouldn't be a good one to miss." "What happens to Cardinals when they're promoted?" asked the Wabbit, "more pay?" "Lots of paperwork," said the Cardinal, "but luckily I'll have a private secretary." "I'd like a private secretary," said the Wabbit, thinking of his many lists of things to do. "Wabs, perhaps you should delegate more," said Lapin. "Perhaps I should," replied the Wabbit and tried to think of someone do the job. Then he shook his head because he couldn't think of anyone who would take it. Cardinal Lapin took the Wabbit's paw and smiled. "Perhaps I could slip away occasionally and join your merry band on an adventure." "Your very welcome any time," laughed the Wabbit, "but something's been puzzling me." "Go on," said Cardinal Lapin. "Look Cardy," sighed the Wabbit, "when you were kidnapped by the shadows, why didn't you ask the Almighty to rescue you?"  "Oh I did - and he answered," said the Cardinal. The Wabbit stared at him and Lapin squeezed his paw. "He sent you and a Dragon and a Jet Car."

10. The Wabbit and the Flying Taxis

Suddenly there was swooping. In an instant, both the Wabbit and Cardinal Lapin found themselves plucked from the falling rope and borne high over the prison. Cardinal Lapin's ears fluttered in the wind and he clutched Terni the Dragon's leafy wings. "Didn't I see you somewhere?" he shouted. "Not me," said Terni, "I was just passing." "I've never met an actual dragon before," yelled the Cardinal. "Oh, how splendid," said Terni with relief. "Shall I take you home?" "What time is it?" asked Lapin. "It's usually later than we think," said Terni. "Well, I have rather important business to attend to," said the Cardinal, "and with all that kidnapping, I quite forgot." "I'll ask the Commander," said Terni. Cardinal Lapin looked across at Turbina the Jet Car. He heard a radio crackle and Terni speak. "Can you get more speed Commander? We have important business." "Right away!" said the Wabbit as Turbina shot past Terni to lead the way. "What about the shadows?" he murmured. Turbina laughed. "'Tis nothing but a magic shadow show, play'd in a box who's candle is the sun." The Wabbit laughed too. "Round which we phantom figures come and go?" He pushed Turbina's thrust lever and a supersonic bang rattled every window in the city.

9. The Wabbit and the Big Plunge

The Wabbit and Cardinal Lapin slid down the rope at speed - but not quickly enough. Sinister shuffling gave way to sinister rushing as two shadows appeared and made for the rope. "They’ve got cleavers!" shouted the Cardinal, "and they’ve got cleaving in mind!" "It’s good stout rope. I got it in a ship chandler's store in Civitavecchia," shouted the Wabbit. But the cleavers were razor sharp and they cut halfway through the Wabbit’s rope. He felt it give slightly, so he stuck his paws on the wall and slid. That slowed them down but still they fell. "How high is the wall?" asked Lapin. "Standard prison issue wall," said the Wabbit. "Too high to look over!" "Where do shadows get cleavers?” muttered the Cardinal but there was no time for speculation. A sickening snick from above severed the rope completely and the Wabbit and Cardinal Lapin plunged helplessly down the sheer face of the prison wall. Cardinal Lapin looked up at the Wabbit as they plunged. "Perhaps I should say a prayer," he said. "Oh, I think I can do better than that," said the Wabbit and he put his paw to his mouth and made a piercing whistle. "What was that for?" said Cardinal Lapin. "Taxi!" yelled the Wabbit. 

8. The Wabbit and the Rabbit Rope Trick

The Wabbit hopped closer and closer and just as Cardinal Lapin was about to reach the recreation area, he grabbed him by the arm and propelled him through a window onto the prison roof. The shadows hovered threateningly, but appeared reticent to advance near the low wall that marked the edge of the building. The Wabbit took Cardinal Lapin firmly by his robes and pulled him to the parapet. "I won’t be a second," he murmured. He delved deep in his fur, pulled out a long rope and attached it to a small chimney. Then he threw the rope across the wall. Cardinal Lapin looked over and watched the rope coil down further and further. He turned and stared at the Wabbit. "Who? Me?" he gaped. "It’s a rope trick," said the Wabbit. "The shadows will watch the Cardinal and the rabbit vanish!" "That trick is usually going up, Wabbit. Not plunging down," said the Cardinal. The Wabbit heard the sinister sound again and snatched a glance over his shoulder. "It’s the rope or the shadows!" he yelled. "We’re losing a head start. Over you go!" "There’s supposed to be a secret wire in this trick," fussed Lapin, looking over the edge again. "I don't see the secret wire!" The Wabbit smiled and shrugged. "Secret wire?" he scoffed. "Do you think I’m a charlatan?" And he shoved Cardinal Lapin over the edge and down the rope.

7. The Wabbit from The Inspectorate

"Cardinal Lapin I presume?" winked the Wabbit and he waved his credentials vigorously. "This is an official Blue Cross prison inspection." Cardinal Lapin knew the Wabbit very well indeed. He had taught him a few tricks in the past, so he knew that a trick was afoot. "Welcome, my son," he said gravely. "Do you wish anything particularly particular?" The Wabbit noticed shadows coming down the stairs and ignored the sinister shuffling noise they made. "Prison food rations?" he asked. "Edible," said Cardinal Lapin. "Reading material? asked the Wabbit. "Tutto Sport only," said the Cardinal. "Air Conditioning," continued the Wabbit. "Leaky," came the reply. "Tut tut," said the Wabbit. He pretended to make a note, then lifted his head. "Medicine?" he snapped. "Crude generics" said Lapin. "Is your mail reaching you?" growled the Wabbit. "Edited," said Lapin. The Wabbit shook his head like a donkey and wrote down "censored." "Recreational access?" asked the Wabbit loudly, smiling. "Not much," said Lapin. "I want to see the area," said the Wabbit. "Then follow me," said Cardinal Lapin and he retraced his steps upstairs. The Wabbit watched the shadows turn and follow him. So he assumed a nonchalant air, whistled Me and my Shadows through his 28 teeth - and hopped after them.

6. The Wabbit & the Prison Inspection

The Wabbit made a lot of noise as he parked Turbina at the prison gates. Then he jumped out and kicked the door. There was silence for a long time so he kicked it again. A bolt drew back and the door swung inwards and a head popped out. "Go away," said the figure. The Wabbit drew an official looking card from his fur and thrust it in the figure's face. "Blue Cross!" he yelled. "Surprise prison inspection under the Geneva Convention!" The figure withdrew and the Wabbit heard murmuring. "It's the Blue Cross," said one voice. "Oh no!" said the other, "I told you this would happen." "Play for time," said another voice. Outside, the Wabbit was humming Jailhouse Rock and stomping his feet impatiently. "I require to inspect sanitary conditions, food rations and recreational facilities," he barked at the door. "At once!" The figure's head popped out again. "It's inconvenient," he said. "Come back tomorrow." The Wabbit struck the door with his paw. "I'll inform the International Secretariat of your refusal, forthwith." "What's your name?" asked the figure. "Commander Hans Blix," said the Wabbit. The head disappeared again. From inside, the Wabbit heard raised voices and an altercation that lasted some time. Finally, the head appeared once more. "You'd better come in, Sir."

5.The Wabbit & the Jailhouse Shadows

The Wabbit had just left Tony's place when his radio crackled. He shielded it from the noise of the traffic and hissed, "Commander Wabbit!" The Wabbit heard a fluttering of dragon wings and a peppery voice spoke. "It's Terni the Dragon, I found Cardinal Lapin." "Where is he Terni?" said the Wabbit calmly. The Wabbit could almost feel Terni's hot breath. "He's in an Old Abandoned Prison." "Are you sure it's him? said the Wabbit. "Red clerical garb, white lace trim, sideways pointy ears," said Terni. "That's Cardinal Lapin all right," said the Wabbit. "Shall I swoop, pluck and extract?" asked Terni. The Wabbit thought for a bit and decided against swooping and plucking. "Terni, can you see shadows in the wrong place?" "I can indeed," said Terni. "They're all around his cell." "Then stay clear for the moment," said the Wabbit. "We'll break him out some other way." Terni looked down and saw that Cardinal Lapin had noticed him. But Terni hadn't always enjoyed the best of relations with Church figures, so he waggled his wings like a small plane and shot into the sky. The Wabbit thought for a minute - and then a song came into his head. He hummed it to himself and shuffled his feet and snapped his paws in a most peculiar way. "Everyone in the whole cell block, is gonna dance to the jailhouse rock!"

4. The Wabbit, Tony and the Shadows

The Wabbit decided on his first port of call. "Start with where you know," muttered the Wabbit, anticipating a first rate coffee. "Commander Wabbit! sad Tony. "On vacation?" The Wabbit shook his head. "Kind of," he grinned. "I'm unofficially searching for an old friend." "Cardinal Lapin?" asked Tony. The Wabbit tried not to look surprised. but the Wabbit knew one thing. He knew that Tony knew almost everything that went on near St Peter's Square. "The last time the Cardinal was here, he showed me several tricks," said Tony with a smile. "I'm afraid he can't be found," said the Wabbit. Tony frowned and bent towards the Wabbit. "There are reports of strange shadows." The Wabbit raised his eyes. "Shadows that shouldn't be there," added Tony. "Shadows in the wrong place?" mused the Wabbit. Tony nodded. "And shadows on dark moonless nights. A customer saw the Cardinal going home one such evening. The street lights went out - and suddenly he was enveloped in shadows." "What happened?" said the Wabbit gravely. Tony looked unusually serious. "When the shadows moved, and the lights came back, the Cardinal had vanished." "But every shadow belongs to some thing, some object," said the Wabbit. "Not these ones," said Tony. "I need a coffee," said the Wabbit.

3. The Wabbit and the Lapin Briefing

The Wabbit had correctly predicted the state of the Tiber tow path. There wasn't a soul around - except for a rabbit secret agent, a jet car and a dragon made of food. No-one noticed the powerful reverse thrust of the Turbina's jet engine and no-one heard the Wabbit as he absent-mindedly tapped a jazz rhythm on Turbina's hood. "Commander please stop," sighed Turbina. "What's under there?" joked the Wabbit and he tapped again. "My salad sandwiches," said Turbina. "I'm hungry," said the Wabbit and paused as his stomach groaned softly. "I know why you're here," said Terni the Dragon. "No-one knows," retorted the Wabbit. "Yes, I heard it on the grapevine," said Terni. The Wabbit tapped out the tune on Turbina's hood and started to sing "and I'm just about to lose my mind!" when a sharp hoot from Turbina echoed down the walls. "Ouch" said the Wabbit and he hopped back shaking his paw. "Static!" laughed Turbina. Terni smiled as only a dragon can and asked "What's the plan?" "We'll split up and look for Cardinal Lapin in places he usually frequents," said the Wabbit. "That's caffès, churches and clerical outfitters." Turbina jumped in first, "I'll cruise the streets and look at the shops!" "And I'll fly across the dreaming spires and piazze," said Terni. "Splendid," said the Wabbit. "That leaves the caffès to me."

2. The Wabbit Jets In

The Wabbit and Turbina the Jet Car flew into Rome at a suitable altitude. "Keep your eyes open for cardinals, Turbina," said the Wabbit. "What do they look like?" asked Turbina, "They're invariably in red," said the Wabbit. "Excellent choice," said Turbina. A short time elapsed while Turbina did things with instrumentation. "Incoming dragon at six o'clock. Commander. Shall I hail it?" The Wabbit's rear sight line wasn't great so he turned and squinted out from the rear window. "That's Terni," he said and he waved. The radio crackled a bit. "He does have a radio?" asked Turbina. "He has one of mine," said the Wabbit. "Then I'll call him with a proper one. "Calling Dragon. This is Turbina the Jet Car. Please identify yourself and state the nature of your business."" "This airspace is under my jurisdiction," said Terni through much static. "I work for Wabbit Command."  Turbina muted the radio and addressed the Wabbit. "You do a lot of unofficial things, Wabbit!" "I call it supernumerary assistance," shrugged the Wabbit. "As might be required from time to time, I suppose?" sighed Turbina. The radio crackled again and Terni the Food Dragon cut in. "Turbina Heavy. You're cleared to land on the River Tiber Towpath. Over." "Copy," said Turbina and she spoke to the Wabbit. "Why there?" "There's never a soul around," said the Wabbit.

1. The Wabbit tries to leave Quietly

The Wabbit dropped in at the Department of Wabbit Affairs to get Turbina the Jet Car. Then he left as quietly as a jet car would allow. "Quietly," murmured the Wabbit as Turbina's thrust lever suddenly roared. "Might I remind you Commander," said a voice, "that I outrank you." The Wabbit smiled to himself. "Sorry Turbina, I meant to request a little less noise." "That's better," said Turbina. "And I was not informed of this trip." "That's because I'm on leave," said the Wabbit. There was a long silence. "You never take leave," said Turbina. The Wabbit turned right and headed up Via Arsenale. "Just a wee break," said the Wabbit, grinning. "I don't believe you," snapped Turbina. The Wabbit paused for a second. "It's a private mission," he confessed. "It's officially unofficial." "Excellent!" said Turbina, "I could use an outing." The Wabbit breathed a long sigh of relief. "Where are we headed?" asked Turbina. "Rome," said the Wabbit. "Fly or drive?" asked Turbina. "We'll drive and listen to some tunes," said the Wabbit, "and then we'll just fly in." "Just as if we're having a vacation, a little change," said Turbina. "You got the drift," said the Wabbit, "a change is as good as a rest."

The Wabbit hears News of a Friend

The Wabbit and Lapinette hopped to a Safe Garden nearby and the Wabbit touched Lapinette's paw. "What up?" he asked with a half smile. "This is on the strict QT," said Lapinette, "It's not official Department business." "The Wabbit nodded but stayed quiet. "It's our friend, Cardinal Lapin," frowned Lapinette. "He's due for a promotion." "Oh," said the Wabbit, "a Chief Cardinal already?" Lapinette made a funny face at the Wabbit and continued. "Threats have been made against him and now he's gone missing." The Wabbit's demeanor changed. He growled the deepest of growls and his paw grasped for some object in his fur. Lapinette's ears twitched as she heard an unmistakable metal click. "I'll hop straight off then," said the Wabbit. "Things to do, cardinals to find." Lapinette sighed. "It's not official, we're not supposed to know." "Never heard a thing," said the Wabbit. "Anyway, I do have leave outstanding." "When do you propose to take it?" asked Lapinette, although she knew the answer. "Immediately immediate," said the Wabbit and he turned to go. "Wabbit!" called Lapinette. The Wabbit turned and looked at Lapinette with the other half of his smile. "Mind your back, Commander," she said in a  low voice. The Wabbit grinned. "I've been minding my back so long, I forgot I had a front."