7. The Wabbit and the Euclidian Faction

The Wabbit had joined Lapinette to the rear of Ledger's house, when he heard a drone that he recognised. He gripped Lapinette's arm tightly and pulled. "Run Run!" he shouted and they ran as fast as they could. But the three fighters looming from the sky were faster. They swooped over and back - and when they spotted the Wabbit and Lapinette, they started to fire. "Guided pencils!" shouted the Wabbit, jumping to avoid the sharpened missiles. "Who are they?" yelled Lapinette, fishing her automatic from her fur. "They're Euclidians," yelled the Wabbit. "They split from mainstream mathematics to take up armed geometry." "Are they the ones who employed Ledger to spy on us?" asked Lapinette. "I don't think so," said the Wabbit and he fired unsuccessfully at one of the fighters. "But they might be in league with others." They both stood their ground and for a while they shot at the fighters and dodged their missiles. "Are these heat seeking?" said Lapinette, kicking one as it zoomed past. "It's possible," yelled the Wabbit, "but I think I know what guides them in." Lapinette fired another unsuccessful shot. "Do you have any graph pads in your fur?" asked the Wabbit. "Of course not!" shouted Lapinette. "I have six,” frowned the Wabbit. 

6. The Wabbit and the Wife in the Garret

The Wabbit climbed to the window and pushed it open. "I heard you were coming," said an imperious voice, "and it's not a moment too soon." The Wabbit looked inside to see Ledger's wife. "Acme Repairs at your service Mrs Ledger, there's remedial work to be done." "I've been waiting some time," said Mrs Ledger, "so I hope you're going to do a good job," "The very best we can," smiled the Wabbit. "Sorry you've been inconvenienced." He dropped his voice. "I hope we're not inconveniencing anyone else?" He looked behind her and all around, then questioningly raised his eyes. Mrs Ledger subtly gestured towards the back of the house with a paw and the Wabbit nodded and tapped his coat. "We have rather a lot of equipment, Mrs Ledger, Ma'am - so perhaps you might store some for us?" He winked broadly then fished in his fur and brought out an automatic. Then with a flick of his paw he sent it spiralling across the room. Mrs Ledger caught it deftly and winked back as she tucked it away. The Wabbit made to climb down the ladder but paused. "Is there any work to be done in the grounds?" he asked. Mrs Ledger nodded. "There's rather a lot of weeds to be cleared and some garbage to be removed." "We'll do the garbage first," said the Wabbit and he disappeared from sight.

5. The Wabbit effects Landlordly Repairs

There was quiet at the house where Ledger's family was captive. But it didn't last long. Suddenly there was a lot of noise in the Ledger Woods as the Wabbit chugged up with a strange vehicle. "Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho!" sang Lapinette, dancing on the forklift.  "It's off to work we go!" responded  the Wabbit. "With a drill and a bit!" trilled Lapinette. "And a little dab of spit," yelled the Wabbit, jumping down from the vehicle. "Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho!" They laughed and laughed and pretended to lark and joke like work rabbits in a medieval play. "Any sign of the enemy?" whispered Lapinette. "No sign of anyone at all," said the Wabbit. "Suspicious," said Lapinette. "Very" said the Wabbit. "Well, they know the landlord's coming," said Lapinette. "That explains the silence," said the Wabbit. They glanced at each other then at Ledger's house. I don't like the look of the gutters," commented the Wabbit. "The previous operatives were hideously inept," frowned Lapinette. "Needs sorting," grumbled the Wabbit." Sooner the better," agreed Lapinette. "I'll climb the ladder first," said the Wabbit, "and inspect the window frames." "A ladder is a means of access and not a working platform," said Lapinette primly. "That's true," said the Wabbit, "and we forgot our special hats," "And the building site signs," said Lapinette. "And portable toilets," added the Wabbit  "How will we ever manage?" smiled Lapinette. "Self control!" grinned the Wabbit. 

4. The Wabbit and the Property Business

"Keep your paws away from the trigger guard, Ledger" said Skratch, Ledger fumbled with his weapon and Skratch frowned. "Now rack the slide. Don't point it at my elbow, I like it the way it is." "Is that Ledger's house in the woods?" asked the Wabbit. Lapinette tapped the screen with her pointer. "It is," she said. "Now that's a big mansion," said the Wabbit. "Ledger has a large family and takes in orphans," said Lapinette. "How many entry points?" asked the Wabbit. "Five counting the skylight," replied Lapinette. "Here, here, here, here and here." Her pointer tapped a staccato rhythm on the screen  "Nice piece of real estate," commented the Wabbit, "and it's given me an idea." Lapinette waited to hear a bizarre scheme. "We're going to buy the Ledger Wood," said the Wabbit. Lapinette sighed a very long sigh indeed. "Ledger!" shouted the Wabbit. "Yes, Commander," trembled Ledger. "You will purchase the Ledger Woods using the Dinosaur Fund," "Won't that be expensive?" said Ledger. "Enormously," said the Wabbit, "but it's such a good investment." "Ledger nodded and the Wabbit smiled. "Then arrange your colour pencils to let the enemy know we branched into property - and remind them that changes are due for the Ledger Wood." "Changes? said Ledger? "I'm your new landlord," said the Wabbit, "and I'll be doing what landlords seldom do." Everyone stared. "Making repairs," said the Wabbit.

3. The Wabbit and the Interrogation

"Explain!" barked the Wabbit. "Ledger trembled. "Why did you inform on us, Ledger?" asked Lapinette quietly, and she touched him lightly with a paw. "They are holding my family hostage," he said. The Wabbit's fur stood on end and he had too many questions - but he let Ledger continue. "They're imprisoned in my home and if I don't post information, they will be harmed." The Wabbit's blood boiled. "Where is your home, Ledger?" he asked. "In the Ledger Woods," said Ledger. "That's the Accountancy Quarter," said Skratch, looking down at a map. "And the colour pencils?" asked the Wabbit. "Details of movements in and out of the Dinosaur Fund," said Ledger gravely. "No-one knows that exists," said Skratch. "Well they do now," said the Wabbit and he thought for a bit. "Look Ledger," he said. "You're seconded to this team. Now you're a double agent." Ledger looked terrified. "Everything comes though me," continued the Wabbit, "and everything goes out from me." Ledger nodded. "Skratch the Cat will teach you to deceive and dissemble," stated the Wabbit. "With pleasure," smiled Skratch. "So what's your plan?" asked Lapinette. "The usual," said the Wabbit. Lapinette raised an eye in query. "Sow confusion," he grinned.

2. The Wabbit and Covert Surveillance

Ledger, the Department Accountant wasn't hard to track and the Wabbit and his team took up position. The Wabbit had made an arrangement with the Ditta Gianduja - so he watched from the empty haberdasher's shop. Skratch and Lapinette walked casually along the street bearing shopping bags, then back again, while Big Blue Snail lurked near the market to follow Ledger should the need arise. Only a moment elapsed before Ledger appeared. He looked around furtively, then seeing only shoppers bearing purchases, pulled a mail pack from his fur and put his pencil case inside. Then he popped it into the letterbox. It was an unusually hot day for the time of year, but even so, Ledger looked too flustered. He kept feeling in his fur as if he wanted to make sure something was still there. "May I help you?" asked Skratch. "It's just the sun on my fur," said Ledger. "You seem to have something stuck in there," said Skratch. "Oh I can see why you're uncomfortable. You have a pencil case down your front." "I always keep a spare pencil case there," faltered Ledger. "Just drop it in my bag and I'll help you carry it to your office," purred Skratch. "I wouldn't impose," said Ledger. "I rather insist," smiled Skratch.

1. The Wabbit and the Matter of Pencils

The Wabbit was determined to solve the problem of the spy at the Department of Wabbit Affairs and arranged to accidentally bump into the rabbit from Accounts on the steps. The rabbit's pencil set was obvious, so the Wabbit pulled a big red marker pen from his fur. "I say, Ledger!" shouted the Wabbit, "you appear to have dropped one of your pencils." Ledger turned cautiously. "Sir?" The Wabbit's ears inclined slightly towards Ledger. "That's not one of mine, Sir." Ledger's voice trembled slightly and he patted his pencil set. "These are my special audit pencils and I always have them with me." "Don't you have a laptop, Ledger?" asked the Wabbit smiling, "I can requisition you one if you like." "They're my back up, Sir," said Ledger and he turned to go. "One more thing, Ledger!" barked the Wabbit. "Yes Sir," replied Ledger meekly. "Can you calculate the damage to Turin City Council property from our last adventure - and make reimbursement?" "Shall I raise a cheque from the Dinosaur Fund?" said Ledger, before he could think. The Wabbit stared very hard indeed. "Of course not!" he said, "the Via dell'Arsenale Sports and Social Club as usual. On my desk by teatime." "There's no space on your desk, Sir," said Ledger. "There's room behind my filing cabinet," said the Wabbit.

The Wabbit's Post Adventure Caffè

"Here comes Skratch!" said Lapinette. "I’m going to get in first," said the Wabbit. Skratch loomed into view, sporting a new T-shirt sent specially from Germany. "What was that for a sort of adventure?" asked the Wabbit. "Oh," said Skratch, "I really hadn’t thought about it." "You’re disappointing us Skratch," said Lapinette. Skratch smiled and inclined his head. "I thought the Wabbit avoided leading his audience into a position of dominant specularity." "I know what that means!" shouted Wabsworth, but everyone pretended not to hear. "I’m more concerned about this spy in the Department," said Lapinette. The Wabbit reflected. "Do you recall I said to tell anyone you liked about the golden wabbits?" Lapinette nodded. "Well, who do you like?" It was Lapinette’s turn to reflect. "I like that rabbit in Accounts," she said. "He always carries an enormous set of colour pencils." Skratch tapped the Wabbit on the shoulder and the Wabbit drew a little closer. "This colour pencil thing is a trick," Skratch said softly. "It’s a way of passing information undetected." The Wabbit thought long and hard. "Let’s keep this among ourselves," he said, "while we keep an eye on our friend, the bookkeeper." "Wabsworth!" said Lapinette suddenly. "If you were a colour what would it be?" "Transparent?" smiled Wabsworth. 

10. The Wabbit faces the Music

The Wabbit and Wabsworth caught up with Duetta the Red Spider and Lapinette at the rear of the Old Abandoned Hospital. "Glad you're OK, Commander," said Duetta. "Never a bother," said the Wabbit. "Don't you never a bother me," said Lapinette. "You could have told us what was going on." "It was strictly hush hush," said the Wabbit. Lapinette fumed. "I have the highest of clearances," she said. "Exactly," said the Wabbit. "We set up a smokescreen to lure the Agents." "A smokescreen!" said Duetta. "Most admirable." The Wabbit grinned. "The whole thing had to look like it was just me." "It was just you!" shouted Lapinette. "Me too!" said Wabsworth, immediately wishing he had kept quiet. "Were you by any chance testing us?" enquired Duetta. "Only in passing," said the Wabbit. An uncomfortable silence fell. Then Duetta tapped a leg. "What shall we do with the prisoners?" "Let them go," said the Wabbit, "and tell them to tell all their friends that we know." "Know what?" asked Lapinette. "I don't know," said the Wabbit. "But they won't know that we don't know." "Know what!" repeated Lapinette. "They have someone inside the Department," said the Wabbit.

9. The Wabbit and the Big Plunge

The Wabbit suddenly twisted the steering wheel and the jeep smashed through the Hopway railings. Everything went quiet as they sailed through the air. "Is this wise Commander?" asked Wabsworth. "Wabbits gotta have fun!" shouted the Wabbit. His ears twitched as he heard snaser fire. "Brace yourself!" he yelled. Wabsworth grabbed the dashboard. All of his 28 teeth chattered as the jeep landed with a suspension sapping smash and swerved across the breadth of the road. "This is a fine vehicle," stuttered Wabsworth. "Quite old fashioned," smiled the Wabbit. "I suppose you want one." "I'd like some proper upholstery," said Wabsworth, rubbing his fur. The Wabbit chortled. "How are our reinforcements?" he asked. "Making short work of the enemy," said Wabsworth. "We'll never hear the end of it," murmured the Wabbit, "so let's pretend it wasn't really us." "I don't think that will work," said Wabsworth. "Of course it won't work," replied the Wabbit, "but we can wind them up trying." "Yes, we'll let it drop casually," nodded Wabsworth. "OK, let's practice," said the Wabbit, adopting a conversational tone. "I was just displaying my golden wabbits, when a funny thing happened." "How will we explain the damage?" asked Wabsworth. "It was like that when we got here," grinned the Wabbit.

8. The Wabbit & the Hopway Skirmish

As Duetta sped towards the Hopway, she could make out the Wabbit’s jeep and hear the sound of explosives. Agents of Rabit were swarming up fences and trying to halt the jeep, while others rained down explosives from the bridge. "I didn’t expect an Agents' flying column," said the Wabbit, "and that was my fault." He fired a few rounds at an Agent and watched him drop to the road. "Nobody’s perfect," said Wabsworth as he dispensed with another Agent. A bundle of dynamite came his way and he scooped it from the air and threw it back. A satisfying boom from below made his ears stiffen pleasantly. "Take that for your trouble," he smiled, then hearing the distinctive note of a biplane engine, he looked up.  "I think we have reinforcements," he cheered, digging the Wabbit sharply in the ribs. "Is that Lapinette?" sighed the Wabbit, "because there’ll be hell to pay." "Yes, and Duetta the Red Spider," yelled Wabsworth. Now the Wabbit smiled and he sprayed the Hopway with bullets. "Excellent," he chortled. "They can fight about who rescued us." Wabsworth pushed a foe away from the fence, oblivious to the frantic squeals as the Agent pitched to his doom. "Do we need rescuing?" he asked. The Wabbit’s Makarov spat fire at another Agent. "Not really," shrugged the Wabbit.

7. The Wabbit and the Big Surprise

At Wabsworth’s command, the Wabbit’s élite guard stepped from the rows of golden wabbits and met advancing Agents of Rabit with a hail of snaser fire. At the same time, Duetta and the Red Spiders dropped from the shed roof - and seizing any Agents they could, disappeared into the sky. But there were many Agents and the more the Spiders seized, the more appeared. The battle raged for what seemed like hours, even though it was only a matter of minutes. Gradually, the Wabbit’s Guard gained control and mopped up remaining Agents. "Where’s  Commander Wabbit and Lieutenant Commander Wabsworth?" shouted the Field Commander. "They were supposed to be here!" As the sound of confrontation quietened, the guard became aware of another battle not too far away. "They need help!" yelled the Field Commander. He waved a paw towards the noise and ordered six troops to the Hopway. Way up above, Marshall Duetta Spyder paused as she heard ricochets of automatic gunfire and let an unfortunate Agent of Rabit drop to the concrete below. Then she wheeled and flew towards the Hopway with enormous speed. In the distance, the Wabbit and Wabsworth were engaged in a skirmish of their own and Duetta figured that things weren't going at all well. "Hang on Commander," she breathed. "Just hang onto your fur ..."

6. The Wabbit and the Surfeit of Foes

The sun began to set on the golden wabbits and all was quiet – or so it appeared. "I saw a Skuttle," said Wabsworth. "But only one," said the Wabbit, "and I also saw one of the Euls." "Curses on their  pointy ears," grimaced Wabsworth. "Did you spot an Ice Mouse?" asked the Wabbit. "I did," said Wabsworth. "It seemed hardly worth a mention." "They’re a spent force," said the Wabbit. "Look Wabsworth, all this is just noise, mere static." They watched the sun paint the girders orange. "I saw a golden wabbit move," said Wabsworth. "A trick of the light," said the Wabbit. "I’m an android," said Wabsworth, "and the light can’t trick me." "If you stare at anything long enough it seems to move," smiled the Wabbit. "My advanced circuitry takes care of all that stuff," said Wabsworth, "and I insist that something moved." The Wabbit tried to look sceptical. "Look at these two golden wabbits at the front," said Wabsworth. "They glanced at each other." Wabsworth stopped talking and stared at the Wabbit. His positronic brain raced and then he too smiled. "Yes," he said, "I understand." They both nodded in mutual satisfaction. But suddenly a dark shadow fell across the golden wabbits and Wabsworth stiffened. "Shall I be the one?" he murmured. "You do it," said the Wabbit calmly. Wabsworth threw back his head and with his loudest voice he yelled "Go! Go! Go!"

5. The Wabbit and the Big Wait

With all the golden wabbits displayed in the Big Shed, the Wabbit and Wabsworth, his android double, retired to a vantage point behind their one of their jeeps. They didn’t have long to wait before they heard sounds. Wabsworth nudged the Wabbit and the Wabbit looked up. Hordes of Red Spiders were descending on the shed. The Wabbit fidgeted. "Do we make a move, Commander?" asked Wabsworth. The Wabbit shook his head. "Don’t disappoint me, Marshall Duetta Spyder," he murmured to himself as he watched the flight of the Spiders. He figured he could make out Marshall Duetta herself  - she was far to the rear of the structure and for an instant he thought she made a squiggly wave. The Spiders settled on the roof and became very still. Even so, there were in such number that the covering groaned under the strain. "What are they doing, Commander?" said Wabsworth." "Waiting," said the Wabbit. "Just like us!" said Wabsworth. "It’s all the rage," said the Wabbit. Now Wabsworth was getting fidgety too. "Who are you really expecting?" "I don’t know for certain," said the Wabbit. "I only have the vaguest of clues." Wabsworth patted his automatic, then looked up. "Have you told me quite everything?" he sighed. "Now where’s the fun in that?" grinned the Wabbit. 

4. The Wabbit & the Bullet Proof Coat

It took until lunchtime for Wabsworth and the Wabbit to ferry all the golden wabbits to a carefully selected destination. "These are the last," said Wabsworth with relief. "Now we just have to move them across the hopway to the Big Open Shed," said the Wabbit. "We’ll be finished by evening." "And then?" asked Wabsworth - although being an exact copy of the Wabbit, he already knew. "We wait," said the Wabbit and he pushed his Makarov into his fur. "I do like that coat," said Wabsworth. "Is that a special issue?" "It’s bullet proof," said the Wabbit. "Could you requisition one for me?" Wabsworth hummed with excitement. "You’re an android and have no need of one," smiled the Wabbit, "and besides, they’re a little hot!" "Just the logos perhaps?" said Wabsworth. "Radio it in," said the Wabbit. "Code 007392, Dinosaur Fund." "Right away Commander." grinned Wabsworth. The Wabbit shifted uneasily and glanced from right to left. "See any trouble?" asked Wabsworth. "Not yet," said the Wabbit and he dug out his automatic and looked at it. He switched the safety catch and switched it back, then back again. A silence fell, only to be broken by a crackle from the radio. "Logos on the way, Commander. " Wabsworth smiled. He looked over at the Wabbit, then into the distance. "Will they go for it?" "Oh yes," muttered the Wabbit. "They most certainly will." He shook his head. "But which particular they?"