2. The Wabbit's quest for the Lost Data

The Wabbit got smaller and smaller and found himself in a strange place which appeared to be under the floor. "It's grubby down here," grumbled the Wabbit. The Wabbit grumbled if he didn’t understand things and he was apt to complain bitterly and at length to himself – because usually there was no one else nearby to listen to his complaints. He looked all around anyway and he couldn't help but notice a large box which, on inspection, was fairly recognisable. "It’s an old computer," said the Wabbit with distaste. He looked at it disparagingly because he knew that it was incapable of supporting one of his lists far less a sophisticated program like ListWrite Lite. "The lost data must be in there," he thought, "otherwise I wouldn’t be here." The Wabbit paused to agree with himself, which he very often did. But when he agreed with himself, his ears would tilt back and then suddenly forward in a manner that some found disturbing. So the Wabbit tried not to agree with himself too much in public. "I suppose I’ll have to examine the interior," thought the Wabbit, "and see if there’s any lost data lying around." The Wabbit fished around in his fur for a crosshead screwdriver that he had bought cheaply in a market near the Big White Hospital and poked the side of the computer. In the Wabbit's head there lurked an entertaining idea that he would find a compartment clearly marked Lost Data, just inside the casing. He would then quickly unbolt it and make off. "If only life could be like that," thought the Wabbit and he patiently set to work.

1. The Wabbit and the Fantastic Mission

The Wabbit was at his laptop attending to his lists - a task for which he had tried several systems. Usually he tried to have umpteen windows open and exchange items at will. But on this occasion he had decided to download a program called ListWrite Light. This had proved colourful yet less than helpful. He now had the exactly the same lists but they were prettier. "Grrr," thought the Wabbit and he jabbed furiously at the laptop keys and tried to uninstall the program. But just at that very moment the Snail Phone rang and the Wabbit grabbed it with a paw. "Oh, hello Snail," said the Wabbit brightly, muttering, "make it quick!" under his breath. "I heard you," said Snail. The Wabbit had forgotten that the Snail Phone was a sensitive device that could hear his thoughts and he silently cursed the new technology that he and Big Blue Snail had developed in a shed. "We cannot fly in the face of change," said Snail. "I suppose not," said the Wabbit, “so what’s new, what’s true?" "I'm relaying a secret message from the Department. Your mission is to retrieve some lost data and for that you must be miniaturised." "I’m a wabbit not a scale model," said the Wabbit. "Prepare to download the program," sighed Snail, "and I’ll be seeing you." The Wabbit's paws started to vibrate and he watched as his laptop got bigger and bigger. "It's not the laptop, it’s you," said Snail's voice from the phone. "I don’t want to be miniaturised," said the Wabbit. "It’s just for an hour," said Snail. "Not even for a second," yelled the Wabbit. "Honey I shrunk the Wabbit," smiled Snail and the line went dead.

The Wabbits make an Emergency Earthquake Appeal

"Many animals are suffering because of the earthquake in Emilia Romagna," said the Wabbit. "Please help by making a donation to ENPA, National Animal Protection," said Lovely Lapinette. "Here's the ENPA statement," said the Wabbit.

• L’Enpa (Ente nazionale protezione animali) e’ pronto a inviare verso l’Emilia-Romagna ‘Isotta’, il mezzo di soccorso per le gravi emergenze veterinarie. “Una missione a 360° per supportare con cibo, medicinali e sostegno psicologico gli animali coinvolti nel sisma, vedendo a fianco dei veterinari la presenza anche di comportamentisti, fondamentali per aiutare gli animali a superare il trauma causato da questo terribile terremoto.
• ENPA (National animal protection) is ready to send relief to the Emilia-Romagna Isolde for several veterinary agencies. It's a 360 ° mission to give food, medical and emotional support for animals involved in the earthquake. Being at the side of veterinary activists is essential in helping our animals to overcome the trauma caused by this terrible earthquake. 

If you need any help with Italian in the donation form, just talk to the Wabbit who is @followthewabbit on Twitter or at Facebook - click on the Facebook link at the top right of the page. Or you can speak with @LovelyLapinette on Twitter!

The Wabbit & the After Adventure Cafe

It was an exhilarating adventure and even though they had enjoyed it, they were glad to be back. Skratch the Cat Burglar crossed his legs and settled in his chair. "I'm almost afraid to ask what kind of adventure you had." "Surely not, Skratch!"said the Wabbit smiling. "You had us all a little worried," said Skratch, "especially when you didn't show up for the Carrot Club meeting." "Oh yes," said the Wabbit, "that'll take some explaining." They all chuckled because they knew the Wabbit seldom missed a meeting of the Carrot Club and when he did there was a lengthy inquest. "Well I think the adventure was mostly scientific," said Ghost Bunny, "with more than a touch of mysticism." "Science and magic don't mix," said Lapinette with a frown. "Quite right," said Skratch. "Genre is not to be treated in a flippant way for the purpose of idle entertainment." "Not so," said Ghost Bunny. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Skratch, than are dreamed of in your literary criticism classes." "Like ghosts," said the Wabbit. "Like ghosts," said Ghost Bunny and she paused for a minute. "In terms of quantum mechanics, the past isn't dead, it's not even past." she breathed. "That's William Faulkner," said Lapinette, "Pretty rich for a modernist," said Skratch. Lapinette looked at the Wabbit. "Wabbit you should never have sent Skratch to that night class." "I didn't," said the Wabbit. "I took him," said Ghost Bunny.

7. The Wabbit and the Surprising Return

"Ghost Bunny?" queried Lapinette. "We’re back," wailed Ghost Bunny. "Hello! Welcome home," shouted Skratch. "How did you know where to find us?" said Lapinette.  "I saw it in a dream," purred Skratch. "A small white rabbit with a big book appeared and advised me to go to the Motor Museum, where I would find something to my advantage." "That would be me," called the Wabbit.  Skratch watched the Wabbit carefully and addressed Lapinette. "The Wabbit’s to my advantage?" he asked. "I am," said the Wabbit. Skratch snorted but then he smiled and his tail quivered. "Where is he going?" said Lapinette to Ghost Bunny quietly. "I’m going to look over a Bugatti," said the Wabbit. "I think that trip went to his head," whispered Lapinette. "No, no," called the Wabbit and he climbed onwards. "It’s all in the book!” he muttered, but everyone heard him even though it was under his breath. "That book is all advanced mathematics," said Lapinette. "Indeed!" cried the Wabbit. "This is one of many possible worlds and in every possible world there’s always a Motor Museum." "He’s winding us up," said Skratch. "He does that," said Lapinette. "It’s his way," said Ghost Bunny fondly. "It would be nice if his way met our way from time to time," said Lapinette. "Then he wouldn’t be the Wabbit," said Skratch. "Come on everyone, there’s a great snack bar nearby," called the Wabbit. "His way just met my way," said Lapinette. "And mine," said Skratch. "I therefore suggest we follow the Wabbit," said Ghost Bunny. So they did.

6. The Wabbit and the Alchemy Chant

Ghost Bunny suddenly inflated to twice her normal size and the playing cards assembled and span around in her glow. As she chanted, the small white rabbits paired and tripled, joined with the cards and rotated quickly. "What’s she chanting?" asked the Wabbit. "The Fibonacci Sequence," said Lapinette. "We’ll be here for weeks!" said the Wabbit. But he heard  Ghost Bunny’s tone alter and his ears pricked back as she muttered a rapid incantation. "Dublin, Turin, Potsdam, Rome;  Lucas, Cullen, Wostenholme; We beg the ghost of David Bohm; to find the holes and bring us home,” she sang. "That’s rather good," said the Wabbit, "and quite catchy," "Shh Wabbit there’s more," said Lapinette. Ghost Bunny made a phantasmic gesture and glowed brightly. "Unfolded orders, one two three; counter-factuality; So what’s the probability? Of us being home in time for  tea," she sang. The cards and the rabbits span faster and faster until they merged in a frantic blur. The Wabbit shook his head. "I’d rather have an aperitivo,"  he said. "I agree,” agreed Lapinette. “Do you think Ghost Bunny needs any help?” asked the Wabbit. "It coudn’t hurt," said Lapinette. The Wabbit cleared his throat. "There’s nothing much you get for free; in quantum non-locality," he rhymed. "If truth is that, which is the case; We’d rather be in just one place," said Lapinette. And as she said "place", there was a loud crack and the cards and the rabbits collapsed into a single point and vanished.

5. The Wabbit and the Fibonacci Hole.

Lapinette and the Wabbit looked up to see the approach of a ghostly object. "It's Ghost Bunny!" cried Lapinette with delight. "Where have you been?" said Ghost Bunny in alarm. "We've only been away a minute," said the Wabbit. "You've been gone three weeks," said Ghost Bunny. "Everyone's been looking for you." "Well, it's good to be missed," said the Wabbit cheerfully. "It's no joking matter, Wabbit," said Ghost Bunny sternly." You're trapped in a Fibonacci sequence and you must leave immediately before you're stuck until it ends." "What's the end of the sequence?" said the Wabbit. "It's thought to be infinite," said Lapinette with alarm. "It just keeps going, like us," joked the Wabbit. "This is no time for your particular brand of misplaced humour, Commander," said Ghost Bunny. "You must find the hole in the sequence that releases you and quickly." "I'm not really sure what that number could be," said Lapinette and she thought for a bit and pulled her ears. "Maybe a self initialising quadratic sieve might do the trick?" The Wabbit rummaged in his fur. "Do you have one?" asked Lapinete. "No," said the Wabbit "I'm looking for something else." He delved long and deep took out a small paper slip. "Let's try 22223224462942044552973989346190996720666693909649976499097960" "What in Pluto is that?" asked Ghost Bunny. "It's my membership number in the Carrot Club," said the Wabbit. A sudden sharp wind froze them to the marrow. Then even Ghost Bunny's fur ruffled as the cards lifted one by one and blew all around.

4. The Wabbit and the Jolly Joker

Suddenly the scene changed and the Wabbit and Lapinette found themselves behind a gravestone watching a different white rabbit hop towards them. "Another one," muttered the Wabbit who was beginning to get used to more and more rabbits. “Hop white rabbit, hop hop!” shouted the white rabbit and with a flick of his paw he threw several playing cards in the air. Lapinette and the Wabbit gazed at the cards that were now dancing a merry jig. The Wabbit thought for a moment then smiled. "Pick any card," he said to Lapinette, "but don’t let me see it." The Wabbit shut his eyes very tightly indeed and Lapinette put out a paw and grabbed the three of diamonds. "OK, tell me what it is," sighed Lapinette. "It's the three of diamonds," said the Wabbit quickly. "Oh!" sulked Lapinette and she looked at the Wabbit with a look she reserved for his magic tricks, because she knew that Wabbit could perform quite a few that he had learned from a book. He would take it upon himself to entertain guests at social gatherings and usually she chose that very moment to have an urgent appointment elsewhere. "It’s not a trick," said the Wabbit. "It’s the Fibonacci Sequence." "Then where,” asked Lapinette, "does that card fit?" She pointed to to the hopping rabbit and the Wabbit looked at him and then at the card the white rabbit had kept to himself. "That's a jolly joker," said the Wabbit. "It can fit anywhere." "Like us," smiled Lapinette. "Up to a point," smiled the Wabbit.

3. The Wabbit and Schrödinger's Rabbits

As soon as Lapinette mentioned the word  “rabbits”, both she and the Wabbit shot into the air.  "Whooooah!" said the Wabbit. "Woooooooh!" said Lapinette and she struggled to get the Wabbit’s automatic out of her frock. They both started to drift around and Lapinette's arms detached from her body and whirled too. "Over there!" gasped the Wabbit and gestured as best he could at two white rabbits sitting on a gravestone. The rabbits were having a discussion about quantum sequences and although they seemed to notice Lapinette and the Wabbit they merely continued their discussion in an animated manner. The Wabbit caught vague terms like asymptotic, fans, arcs, retracement and time extension and they all seemed to whirl around his head. But when Lapinette heard them say "time extension", something made her uneasy and she tried to fire an alarm shot in the air with her automatic. The rabbits looked across as the automatic made a soft plopping and equations issued from the barrel. They nodded sagely and murmured about the implicate order. "Hello rabbits,"  said the Wabbit as best he could. "We are only one rabbit,"  said both rabbits at once. "What’s your name?" asked Lapinette in a warbly voice. "I am Schrödinger," said one. "No, I am Schrödinger," said the other. "I’m confused," said the Wabbit. "There’s a simple explanation," said Lapinette suddenly. "When everything is eliminated, the remaining explanation no matter how bizarre is the case." "That's true," said the Wabbit as if he knew already. "The rabbits are here and not here at the same time," said Lapinette. "So what about us?" said the Wabbit. "Us too," said Lapinette.

2. The Wabbit and the Ouija Board

As Lapinette and the Wabbit hopped into the Graveyard, the gates swung closed behind them with a clang and the sky misted over. "Mmm," said the Wabbit, "we just lost some light. Perhaps this graveyard is haunted." "Who by?" asked Lapinette. "Persons or things unknown," said the Wabbit knowledgeably and he scanned the graveyard all around. "Do you think that's why it's always locked with a big padlock?" said Lapinette. "I think spooks care as much about padlocks as I do," smiled the Wabbit. "You're  a bit of a spook yourself," said Lapinette. "Everyone's got to have a project," said the Wabbit. They both thought long and hard, then smiled for a moment. But the Wabbit felt the wind tugging at his fur again. He turned in its direction and shivered as he caught sight of a coloured object. "What's that?" he murmured. "It's a Ouija Board," said Lapinette. "I don't think they work," said the Wabbit. "Ask it," said Lapinette. "OK," said the Wabbit. He rummaged in his fur for his monopod and hopping up to the board he began to poke it vigorously. Very slowly, the tip of the monopod started to move across the letters - first to O then U then C and finally H. "Ouch!" said Lapinette. "Sorry," said the Wabbit. Then he felt the board tremble slightly and watched as it pointed to O followed by K. Suddenly, it began to glow and the Wabbit's monopod started to move again, but this time across a particular sequence of numbers: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, then 13 and 21. Finally it stopped. "Fibonacci of Pisa!" exclaimed the Wabbit. "And his pair of rabbits!" gasped Lapinette. 

1. The Wabbit and the Locked Graveyard

The Wabbit and Lapinette were on a constitutional hop quite near the Old Abandoned Laundry and just as they were passing the Old Locked Graveyard, the Wabbit noticed that the chain and padlock were missing. "Look Lapinette!" he said with excitement. "There's no lock!" Lapinette made sure the gate was indeed unlocked. "Usually there's a big iron padlock," said the Wabbit. "Usually that doesn't stop you looking around," smiled Lapinette. "I felt that would be disrespectful," said the Wabbit. "I don't think they mind in there," said Lapinette. "Well, they're somewhat dead," said the Wabbit. "You never show as much respect for the somewhat living," said Lapinette. The Wabbit thought for a bit and said, "That's somewhat of a point." He was just about to elaborate on respect when he felt a faint breath of wind tug at his fur. "Did you feel that?" he said, looking through the gates. "Feel what?" asked Lapinette. "That tuggy thing on the fur," said the Wabbit. "I felt no tuggy thing," said Lapinette and she sniffed the air. "But I'm aware of a musty smell like ancient boots in the cellar," she said. The Wabbit looked at his fur while Lapinette looked at her feet and they were so intent on looking that they hardly noticed the gates swing open. "That's odd," said the Wabbit. "The gates opened of their own volition." "Silently," said Lapinette. "They're supposed to go creakedy-creakedy," said the Wabbit. "Ungate-like behaviour," said Lapinette. "Shall we go in?" asked the Wabbit. "Do we have a choice?" said Lapinette. "Not this side of an adventure," said the Wabbit and they both hopped through.

The Wabbit and the stash of Irn Bru

"Where's this? asked Skratch. "It's the Wabbit's homeland," answered Quantum the Time Travelling Train. "Off you hop now and have a nice snack!" So while they assembled round a table, Skratch thought he would get the drinks. "Carrot aperitivi," he called in a loud cat voice. "Oh I don't think they have these here," said the Wabbit, "but I do see something else." "So do I!" said Ghost Bunny, "it says Irn Bru on the label."  "Made in Scotland from Girders," said the Wabbit. Lapinette giggled. "And how do they do that exactly?" she smiled. Lapinette was merely teasing, because she had found the Wabbit's secret stash of Irn Bru in the back of a cupboard along with a sporran, a skean dubh and a tartan football hat. Of this discovery she said nothing. "Irn Bru is so made of girders," said the Wabbit following a pause. "It contains ammonium ferric citrate!" "Point nought nought two percent," said Ghost Bunny quietly. "Exactly," said the Wabbit. "It puts fur on your chest, so will you join me in a glass?" "Me too," said Quantum the Train and they all settled back. "So what about the Ice Mice? What kind of adventure was that exactly?" asked Skratch. "It was an Eco adventure," said Ghost Bunny who took an interest in popular television. "The Skarrots was an Eco adventure too," said Lapinette. "Are we getting in a rut, then?" asked Skratch. The Wabbit sipped his drink and smacked his lips. He knew only too well that Lapinette had discovered his secret hoard of Irn Bru because he was one bottle short. "No, it's more of a groove," he grinned.

8. The Wabbit in the Sombrero Galaxy

Quantum jettisoned the container of Ice Mice on the edge of the Sombrero Galaxy and all the gang cheered as they watched it spiral off into the distance. "I hope we've seen the last of these mice," said Skratch the Cat Burglar. "Somehow I doubt it," said the Wabbit. "There's a big black hole down there," said Lovely Lapinette. "A black mouse hole?" asked Skratch. Everyone laughed. "Now it's time for us to sing," said Quantum the Time Travelling Train. "Sing?" said Ghost Bunny in surprise. "We always sing," said Quantum. "Well only just the once before," said the Wabbit. "That's how traditions begin," said Quantum, "so you start, Commander Wabbit." "Oh all right," said the Wabbit and he put his paw to his ear in authentic folk fashion and adopted a nasal voice. "All around my hat!" he chanted. "I will wear the green willow," responded Quantum melodically and started a background music track. "All around my hat, for a twelve month and a day," sang Lapinette. "And if anyone should ask me," sang Skratch. "The reason why I'm wearing it," added Ghost Bunny. And then they all joined together and sang with gusto. "It's all for my True Love who is far far away!" And across billions of galaxies, trillions of light years away from the Sombrero Galaxy, space travellers picked up a strange signal on sub space communications. It was the sound of merry singing. And soon, over the vast universe, everyone was singing that self same song.

7. The Wabbit and the Quantum Airlift

Ghost Bunny was already aboard Quantum the Time Travelling Train and the rest of the gang could feel the effect of Quantum's powerful engines. But the Ice Mice had no choice. They were drawn aboard as if compelled to travel. Quantum started to shudder and shake. "All aboard, all aboard!" shouted the Wabbit. "Please have your travel documents ready," shouted Skratch. "No liquids, no lighters, no plastic forks," shouted Lapinette. Quantum's shaking stopped and the train began to hum in an increasingly strange tone. "This is your Captain speaking," intoned Ghost Bunny over the loudspeakers. "In the unlikely event of being frozen in a different dimension, please use the oxygen masks and sick bags provided." The gang could hear a muted chattering. "I guess the Ice Mice just picked the wrong train," said Skratch. "What time is it?" asked Lapinette of the Wabbit. "Six five," he said, "and the station is a shakin'." "Shall we then board?" said Lapinette. "Wouldn't miss it for the world," said Skratch. Ghost Bunny slid back the cabin door and they all lurched on. The Wabbit looked around. "Quantum, we meet again," he said. "Commander," said Quantum. "Welcome aboard. Our destination is Galaxy T104. Ghost Bunny has already walked around." "I haunted round and all is well," said Ghost Bunny, handing the Wabbit a sheaf of paperwork. "OK," said the Wabbit and he hopped on the footplate. "Out and up, Quantum. Nice and easy." There was a sudden shudder, then a flash and all that remained was a faint smell of engine shavings.

6. The Wabbit and the Emergency Plan

The Wabbit watched as Ghost Bunny's Processor crushed the Ice Mice, but he was not expecting a vast number of small Ice Mice to swarm towards them. "Plan?" shouted Lapinette. "Run!" shouted the Wabbit. In a flurry of paws and fur, they shot along the Walkway with speed. But the Ice Mice were everywhere - as far back as their eyes could see. "Ghost Bunny!" panted the Wabbit. "Yes Commander," breathed Ghost Bunny. "Can you haunt ahead and prepare Quantum the Time Travelling Train?" yelled the Wabbit, shaking off a voracious Ice Mouse from his rear leg. "On my way," shouted Ghost Bunny and she shimmered and vanished. Keeping just ahead, the three puffed and huffed and hopped along the ramp, except for Skratch who was a cat. "It's like the Pied Piper of Hamleys!" yelled the Wabbit. "Hornby!" corrected Skratch. "Hamelin!" shouted Lapinette. "I never got the point of that story," huffed the Wabbit. "Did the rats vanish?" "Oh yes," panted Lapinette. "and everyone else too. No-one was ever seen again." "I want to be seen again," gasped the Wabbit. "Then where are you sending them?" asked Lapinette. "Far, far away," said the Wabbit. "Far is good," said Lapinette, glancing behind her. "They're going to Galaxy M104, 28 million light years as the crow warps," shouted the Wabbit. "Not the Sombrero Galaxy?" gasped Skratch. "Yes," yelled the Wabbit, "but keep it under your hat."