The Wabbit and the Hospital

At the Big Hospital's flood relief centre, the friends were all allocated colourful rugs. Even Ghost Bunny managed to find a ghostly rug and she fluttered around with it. "What about the flood, Sir?" said Franco from under his Alpini hat. "When it abates, we will return," said the Wabbit. "We'll dry everything out and make sure you have a watertight base." "I'm concerned about the Pet Shop in Corso Svizzera," said Skratch. "All that dried food must have expanded right out into the street and stopped the traffic." Lapinette put her paw in front of her mouth to hide a smile because she knew that Skratch had some crafty supply deal with the Pet Shop. "Perhaps that wouldn't be a bad thing," said the Wabbit. "These floods might be caused by global warming." "It didn't feel very warm," said Puma who was still shivering. "It was cold and wet and horrid," said Snail, munching a cardboard tray. "I saw it coming but it was too late," said Ghost Bunny. "Suddenly the river came over the bank and ran straight at us." "Like it was alive," said Puma and he growled softly. "It's the River Dora. I think Dora means "to run"" said Lapinette. "It took a good run at us," said Snail. "Start again sir!" interrupted Franco Contadino and he pushed his hat back. "We can find you somewhere temporary, Franco," said the Wabbit reassuringly. "Rather not, Sir. Hop straight on, Sir," said Franco and he coughed a bit. "You could have done without this Franco." said the Wabbit. "You need a proper examination." "I'll get Doctor Stefano to check you out," said Lapinette and she headed for the lift. "The stairs are quicker," shouted the Wabbit.

The Wabbit and the Big Flood

"We're over here," shouted Skratch and he waved frantically as the flood rose around him. The Wabbit’s radio crackled. "Disaster Control to Commander Wabbit. You haven't much time, so get out now!" "Not before everyone's on board," muttered the Wabbit under his breath. "Rendezvous at the Big White Hospital. Out," hissed the radio. “Copy that," said the Wabbit to himself. Lapinette threw out the ladder and Skratch grabbed the end and pulled Franco towards him. "Where's my hat?" gasped Franco. "Ghost Bunny's got it for goodness sake," said Skratch and he propelled Franco up the ladder. "What about Snail?" yelled the Wabbit. Lapinette looked across at Ghost Bunny and shouted at the top of her voice.”Tell Snail to climb to the roof, we'll pick him up there!" The sound of the torrent seized her words and mangled them, but somehow Snail heard. "On my way," he shouted. "I've ever seen a snail move that fast," shouted the Wabbit to Lapinette. With everyone on board the Wabbit lifted the helichopper over the trees and then dropped it back down on the Padiglione roof. Lapinette threw open the cargo door and Snail somehow hopped in. "I thought you liked the wet," smiled the Wabbit. "I have a limit," said Snail. "Get us out of here!" The Wabbit lifted the helichopper vertically, wheeled and flew across the city towards the Big White Hospital. “Wabbit to Control," said the Wabbit into the radio. "We're on our way. Five cosy blankets, one extra large please." "Anything else?” said a tired voice. "Seven hot refreshments," replied the Wabbit. "On a cardboard tray," said Snail.

5. The Wabbit & Lapinette in the Lost Park

"What took you so long?" asked Lapinette, who had materialised back in the park some minutes before. "I've been waiting a while," she smiled. "I don't know," said the Wabbit and he checked his fur to make sure that everything was there. "I was stuck in some kind of time buffer and things appeared and whirled around and disappeared." The Wabbit paused as he tried to remember. "And I saw some wabbits I once knew, but as soon as I spoke to them, they vanished." he said. "You couldn't just have a normal trip for once!" exclaimed Lapinette. "And break with tradition?” replied the Wabbit and he chortled. "Don't you think there's something familiar about that tree trunk," asked Lapinette. "Spooky," said the Wabbit and he looked around, half expecting Lag, the prehistoric wabbit, to come cart-wheeling through. "The time portal must be around here somewhere," said the Wabbit and he looked to right and left. "Do you want to go back?" said Lapinette. "No, not really," said the Wabbit. "It was beautiful and interesting, but a little quiet for my liking." "You prefer the city," said Lapinette. "More cafes," said the Wabbit. "We could go back in time and open one," said Lapinette." "The Time Lag Cafe," laughed the Wabbit. "Temporal aperitivo please!" giggled Lapinette. "Of all the joints in all of Space and all of Time, she walks into this one," drawled the Wabbit. How they laughed as they hopped home but though they were to search many times for that park, they never found it again.

4. The Wabbit and the Star Wall

Lag, the prehistoric wabbit, cart-wheeled with ease to a strange wall. "What's a wall doing here?" whispered the Wabbit to Lapinette. "It's the Star Wall where things come and go," said Lag. "What sort of things?" asked the Wabbit. "Interestingly interesting things" replied Lag. Lapinette looked at the Wabbit and the Wabbit shrugged. "Thanks to you, we'll develop the cart-wheeling gene," said Lag. "Gene?" said the Wabbit with surprise. "Because of you, wabbits will be able to cartwheel in the time that has yet to come," said Lag. "Well, it's really only me that cartwheels," murmured the Wabbit and he thought for a bit. "So I came back and made the wabbit cartwheel a possibility?" he mused and his voice trailed off into silence. "So it's a paradox," said the Wabbit suddenly. "Maybe not" said Lapinette. "It could be a temporal modification negation." "Is that the principle that makes everything that happens OK?" asked the Wabbit. "Automatically," replied Lapinette. "That’ll do," said the Wabbit. "Hold quite still and you'll find yourself reassembled at the place you came from," said Lag. "Reassembled?" said the Wabbit and he felt his body begin to tingle. As he watched, Lapinette faded and disappeared before his eyes, leaving a trail of sparkles. "Oh, goodbye Lag," said the Wabbit kindly. "Goodbye Wabbit, we're going to practice and practice," said Lag. "No rush," said the Wabbit and he vanished.

3. The Wabbit teaches The Cartwheel Hop

"We'll set up here," announced the Wabbit and he pulled from his fur a collapsible measuring stick. Lapinette ignored this turn of events and spoke to Lag the prehistoric wabbit. "Try a simple hop first," she said. Lag hopped up and down for a quite a while, but he always came down on the same spot. "I have an idea," said the Wabbit. "Why don't you think of a cartwheel?" "What's a cartwheel?" asked Lag. "It's a roundy-come-roundy thing that goes round," said the Wabbit. "What a good idea," said Lag. "It's all the rage," said the Wabbit, adopting an instructional stance. "When you hop to your highest Lag, try leaning with your shoulder and pitching forward." "Which shoulder?" asked Lag. "Any shoulder," replied the Wabbit. So Lag took up position and made a sudden hop. Then just when Lag was at the highest he could go, the Wabbit hopped quickly forward and poked him with his stick. "Oooh," said Lag and he pitched forward, rolled on his back and settled on his feet. He turned and looked at the Wabbit for congratulation. "Again," said the Wabbit. "No stick?" said Lag, "No stick," said the Wabbit. So Lag leapt high in the air and cartwheeled forward and wheeled round and came back again. "I'll teach everyone," said Lag. Lapinette winced and buried her head in her paws. "What about the space time continuum, now?" she said. "We invented the wheel," said the Wabbit.

2. The Wabbit and the Prehistoric Wabbit

Lapinette and the Wabbit followed the giant wabbit and found themselves in a strange landscape. "We're the ones that hopped through a singularity,” said the Wabbit. The Wabbit strode up to the giant wabbit and the giant wabbit bent down, "Are you a prehistoric wabbit?” asked the Wabbit. The giant shook his head. "Well, where is this land?" asked the Wabbit. The giant wabbit shook his head once more. Lapinette nudged the Wabbit because she had an idea. "D'on ets?" she asked. "I'm from here," said the giant wabbit. “I didn't know you spoke Klingon,” said the Wabbit. "Catalan," said Lapinette. “Oh,” said the Wabbit and he turned to the giant wabbit. "El mei aerollicador esta ple d'anguiles," he said with confidence. "I'm sorry your hovercraft is full of eels," replied the giant wabbit with surprise. The Wabbit shook his universal translator and hit it a few time with his paw. "What's your name" asked Lapinette. "Lag," said the giant wabbit and he turned to the Wabbit. "I do like your ears,” he said with enthusiasm. “It takes billions of years of evolution to get ears like this," said the Wabbit and he patted them. Lag smiled. "I would like to hop,” he said shyly. "I've been practicing." "Yes," said the Wabbit. "It needs work." Lapinette shot a warning glance at the Wabbit. "We can teach you, Lag." she said. "I thought we shouldn't meddle with space and time,” said the Wabbit. “We'll say it was like that when we got here,” smiled Lapinette.

1. The Wabbit: A Wabbit of a Different Kind

Lapinette and the Wabbit had found a park that they never knew existed and they hopped slowly through the trees to see what they could see. Suddenly the Wabbit came to a halt and his ears bent back at a strange angle. "Listen," said the Wabbit. "I can hear a crunching!" "And a munching too," said Lapinette. They crouched in the undergrowth together and looked at a creature who was clearly a wabbit. "It's a Giant Wabbit of a Different Kind,” said the Wabbit and he looked at the giant wabbit and thought. “Do you know," he said. "That's a Neuralgia Rex." "Nuralagus Rex," corrected Lapinette and she grinned. The Wabbit was shaking his head. "It may have hopped into a singularity," he said, because he had only recently been talking quantum physics with Ghost Bunny. "Nurulagus Rex doesn't hop," said Lapinette. But just as the words were out of her mouth, the giant wabbit hopped straight into the air and crashed back down on exactly the same spot. The Wabbit put a paw to his chin and sank into deep thought. Lapinette watched him think for a while, somewhat aware of a vague whirring of cogs and grinding of gears. Finally the Wabbit spoke. "Then it's the Missing Link! It's out of the past, let’s follow it." "We would be interfering with space and time," said Lapinette. "Not at all," said the Wabbit. "We’re here in this spot for a reason. You mark my words." "I'll inform the Department then," said Lapinette strictly. "Its a field decision," chortled the Wabbit. "Then there's no time like the present," said Lapinette.

The Wabbit tries to Explain

The Wabbit and Lovely Lapinette were hopping past the Porta Palatina, chatting as they hopped. "So," said Lapinette, "you told me about your journey, but little of your Goddess." "Demi-Goddess," said the Wabbit, "she was wonderful." Lapinette stopped hopping and turned. "And did this wonderful Demi-Goddess have a name?" she asked. "Lapnet," said the Wabbit. "Oh," said Lapinette and she pondered for a minute. "So what was she like?" she asked. The Wabbit thought it best to pay attention and said, "She was completely proper and formal as a Goddess should be." "Demi-Goddess," said Lapinette and she thought deeply. "Tell me, what was she wearing?" she said eventually. "Oh nothing much," said the Wabbit defensively and he cringed when he saw Lapinette's expression. "What I mean is that she had a short Greek dress with a waist tightly cinched by a silver belt." Lapinette glared but the Wabbit was in full flight and couldn't stop. "And she was garbed in white with blue flowers and the whole outfit was topped with a shoulder clasp." "A shoulder clasp?" hissed Lapinette. "To hold everything up." said the Wabbit weakly and he winced. There was a long silence. "What was I wearing yesterday?" asked Lapinette suddenly. "The usual ...? " queried the Wabbit hesitantly. As his voice trailed off, his head sank into his fur and his teeth became quite rigid. So he closed his eyes and wished he had never uttered a word. Then he felt a paw under his chin and he carefully opened a single eye to see Lapinette smiling sweetly. "I was winding you up," she laughed.

The Wabbit at Hallowe'en

Ghost Bunny swooped into the Hallowe'en gathering. "Are you frightened Fellow Ghouls?" she yelled. "Yes," shouted the gathering in a dutiful response. "How frightened?" she shouted. "Petrified!" they all hollered back. "It's time for the first story," said Ghost Bunny. Snail cleared his throat and nudged the Wabbit. "Did you hear the story about the old empty hospital," he asked. "There was nothing in it," smiled the Wabbit. Everyone groaned and chuckled at the same time. "Who stops ghosts smuggling?" asked Franco. "I give up," said the Wabbit quickly. "The Ghostguard," said Franco. "I liked that one," said Puma. "Where do baby ghosts go during the day?" asked Ghost Bunny. Everyone shook their heads. "A dayscare centre," she said. Everyone giggled for a while. "Did you ever hear tell of the Bunny Man?"asked Skratch the Cat in a low serious voice. "No," said the gathering. "He dressed as a big big wabbit and came out in the dead of night to drag victims to his tunnel." "Oooh," said Ghost Bunny. "What happened?" "He's thought to be deceased," said Skratch. "But every Hallowe'en he appears with his axe. If you listen, you can hear him." They all listened carefully and sure enough they could hear a dull thudding. They all drew closer to the fire and shivered. The Wabbit looked around and around to see if things were safe, but still they could all hear an increasing beat as the Bunny Man advanced." Skratch," said Lapinette." Yes," said Skratch innocently. "Stop thumping your tail," she grinned.

The Wabbit has a Surprise Reunion

Turbina dropped the Wabbit at the old abandoned hospital and he hopped around, looking for his friends. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks. "Sir?" said a familiar voice. An enormous smile spread across the Wabbit's face and he wheeled about. "Franco Contadino! I thought I'd never see you again!" shouted the Wabbit with glee and he threw out his paws and hugged Franco and hopped up and down. "I was very sick, Sir," said Franco. "In the camp evacuation." "Tell me," said the Wabbit gently. "I dreamt I was in a green place with flowers and statues, Sir," said Franco. The Wabbit's fur tingled. "Then I heard a booming voice say that my orders were thrice changed and I must return, Sir." "Thoth," thought the Wabbit. "The Goddess Unut did change things." "This is is our new camp now, Sir," said Franco. "Relocation and reconstruction being led by a new attaché." "Oh yes?" said the Wabbit. "Fine officer, Sir. Name of Ghost Bunny," said Franco, "Lectures on a new tactic," he added. "We must welcome the new," murmured the Wabbit, fresh from his journey. Then he paused. "What kind of tactic?" he enquired gently. “The Bunny Zap, Sir," said Franco. The Wabbit's fur stood on end. "All personnel to Padiglioni 3 on the triple," he yelled and to his amazement his voice boomed across the grounds from loudspeakers. "This is not a drill," he added and his voice trailed off and he couldn't think of anything else to say. The Wabbit looked at Franco and shrugged. "Orders Sir!" said Franco. "Be there or be square," yelled the Wabbit and groaned.

The Wabbit has Double Vision

"This looks like an archaeologists’ dig," said the Wabbit, knowledgeably, "Yes," laughed Lapnet, the demi-Goddess. "Silly sausages. They find stuff that I wouldn't give house room and then cheer." They both laughed. "Did you learn about change, Wabbit?" said Lapnet. "More than I thought," replied the Wabbit. "Things do change and things are always the same and they're always different." "Exactly," said Lapnet and she suddenly waved her paws. The Wabbit jumped as he heard an enormous thunderclap. To his amazement he saw what he thought was Turbina whizz over his head. The Wabbit paused and watched her bank round and down. "Hang on," said the Wabbit "There's two Turbinas now!" "Yes," said Lapnet. "One of them is mine." The Wabbit thought for minute but he couldn't think of a reason why a Goddess shouldn't have a Turbina. "What will you call her?" asked the Wabbit. "Turbina 2," said Lapnet. "Very traditional," said the Wabbit. "Will you pass this way again?" asked Lapnet but then she saw that the Wabbit looked uncomfortable. "Soon, in your jet car," she said soothingly. "I will," smiled the Wabbit. "You might just need this." He plucked from his fur a card and wrote on it. Lapnet read it out loud. "Goddess on Call," she said. "Just slip it in the windscreen, no parking tickets." said the Wabbit. "Oh, I can make them go away," said Lapnet. They both laughed again. "What's your next mission?" asked Lapnet. "It's in the Lap of the Gods," smiled the Wabbit.

The Wabbit says farewell to Marco Simoncelli

"What's that noise?" said Lapnet the demi Goddess. "That sounds like a Gresini Racing Honda," said the Wabbit, "and it's flying like us!" The rider was waving across to the Wabbit and shouting something, so the Wabbit brought Turbina alongside. "Am I heading the right way for the Elysian Fields?" asked the rider. "Oh no Marco, it's you," cried the Wabbit. "How did you get here? And why the Elysian Fields?" "Ciao Wabbit! I'm afraid I ran out of road," said Marco Simoncelli, the motorbike champion. The Wabbit was very upset and tried to hide it from Marco. "He's too young," whispered the Wabbit to Lapnet. "But he was brave and heroic," replied Lapnet. "Yes he was," said the Wabbit and he leaned out of the window. "Marco!" shouted the Wabbit. "I have to ask you if you would change anything." "No," yelled Marco. "I wouldn't change a single second of it" "I told you," said Lapnet to the Wabbit and she threw another bunch of flowers from the window. Marco caught the flowers with ease and held them high in the air and shouted "Grazie!" "Prego," smiled Lapnet sweetly and waved. "We're headed for the Elysian Fields now," she said. The Wabbit didn't have to think for very long. "Why don't you come along with us, Marco," suggested the Wabbit. "I'll race you there," said Marco.

The Wabbit and the Problem of the Past

"Has there been some kind of trouble here?" asked the Wabbit. "It's about the past," said Lapnet the demi-Goddess and she paused and tilted for Goddess effect. "In bygone times, desert came up to these walls and camels brought all manner of goods from distant and exotic lands." "Camels?" asked the Wabbit. Lapnet waved a paw and two camels appeared and spoke. "We are," said the first camel. "The Casbah Camels," said the second. The Wabbit gaped. "Shake the Casbah?" he asked without thinking. "Rock the Casbah," corrected Lapnet. The two camels looked and each other and winked. "Nuzz nuzz!" said the first Camel in a jolly fashion. "We came 'ere by train," said the second camel and the first one laughed and laughed. "How do you two feel about change?" ventured the Wabbit. "Shake 'em up," said the first camel. The other one threw its head back and bellowed and howled. "Rattle and roll," they said together. The Wabbit could see they were both chewing and he drew close to Lapnet. "I like the look of of camels, but they spit," he whispered. "Wabbits don't spit," said Lapnet. "Not even if we wanted to," said the Wabbit ruefully. He quickly ushered Lapnet inside Turbina the Jet Car, wound up the windows and settled back. "Would you care for a liquid beverage?" he asked of Lapnet. "What do you have?" replied Lapnet. The Wabbit perused Turbina's tiny cocktail cabinet. "I can offer you Ambrosia, nectar, or would you prefer mead?" "I would rather have a carrot aperitivo," said Lapnet.

The Wabbit and the Goddess On Board

"Take us up, Commander," said Turbina the Jet Car. "Nice and easy," she murmured. "I'll make it so," said the Wabbit and he gently lifted Turbina into the air. As the Wabbit engaged the thruster he saw Lapnet the demi Goddess threw flowers from the window. He glanced down to see they were leaving a trail of bright yellow flowers in their wake and he smiled a broad smile. "What a wonderful chariot," said Lapnet. "I would like such a chariot.” "Don't they come with the job?" asked the Wabbit. "Yes, they're rather dreadful and break down repeatedly," said Lapnet. "I think I used to have one of these," said the Wabbit. "I want a Turbina!" exclaimed Lapnet. "OK," said the Wabbit hesitantly. "What do all these buttons do?" asked Lapnet. "Nothing we need worry about," said the Wabbit quickly. Lapnet ran her paws lightly across the dials and switches as the Wabbit looked on with horror. But to his surprise, beautiful music filled the cabin and he could smell flowers. "And that red button there?" asked Lapnet, pointing. "Not that one," sighed the Wabbit at the precise moment that Lapnet pushed the button. The Wabbit heard a light crack. Suddenly, everything he could see in front of him compressed into a single dot, then rapidly expanded. The Wabbit looked round. They were parked in a small street on a hill in Thessaloniki. "That was quick," said Turbina approvingly. "We're here," said Lapnet. "I want to show you something."

The Wabbit and the Problem of Change

Refreshed from his sleep amongst the flowers of the Elysian Fields, the Wabbit hopped onto a plinth and pretended to be a statue. Lapnet smiled at the Wabbit. "It used to be quite different here," she said. "What was it like?" asked the Wabbit. "This was a mighty port and ships came and went. And there were ropes and boxes and things from far-off lands," said Lapnet, "But then the sea went away." "No more ships," said the Wabbit. "Oh Wabbit, other things came. Everything changes!" said Lapnet. The Wabbit wrinkled his nose and Lapnet noticed. "Greek Gods meddle," she said. "But we do have our limits." "I do want change," said the Wabbit firmly. "If you want the change that you want, then you must do the changing," said Lapnet. The Wabbit fell silent for a while and he found himself looking at one of the statues, because he was certain it had moved. Then he heard Lapnet's voice. "Will you take me on a visit to the city in your chariot of fire?" asked Lapnet. The Wabbit couldn't help glancing across to Turbina the Jet Car and he heard three quick blasts from her horn. "How could we refuse a Goddess?" smiled the Wabbit. "Demi-goddess," said Lapnet. "It's settled," said the Wabbit. "Now I'm just going to talk to that statue over there." "The one with no head?" asked Lapnet. "Nobody's perfect," said the Wabbit.