The Wabbit at Hallowe'en

Ghost Bunny swooped into the Hallowe'en gathering. "Are you frightened Fellow Ghouls?" she yelled. "Yes," shouted the gathering in a dutiful response. "How frightened?" she shouted. "Petrified!" they all hollered back. "It's time for the first story," said Ghost Bunny. Snail cleared his throat and nudged the Wabbit. "Did you hear the story about the old empty hospital," he asked. "There was nothing in it," smiled the Wabbit. Everyone groaned and chuckled at the same time. "Who stops ghosts smuggling?" asked Franco. "I give up," said the Wabbit quickly. "The Ghostguard," said Franco. "I liked that one," said Puma. "Where do baby ghosts go during the day?" asked Ghost Bunny. Everyone shook their heads. "A dayscare centre," she said. Everyone giggled for a while. "Did you ever hear tell of the Bunny Man?"asked Skratch the Cat in a low serious voice. "No," said the gathering. "He dressed as a big big wabbit and came out in the dead of night to drag victims to his tunnel." "Oooh," said Ghost Bunny. "What happened?" "He's thought to be deceased," said Skratch. "But every Hallowe'en he appears with his axe. If you listen, you can hear him." They all listened carefully and sure enough they could hear a dull thudding. They all drew closer to the fire and shivered. The Wabbit looked around and around to see if things were safe, but still they could all hear an increasing beat as the Bunny Man advanced." Skratch," said Lapinette." Yes," said Skratch innocently. "Stop thumping your tail," she grinned.

The Wabbit has a Surprise Reunion

Turbina dropped the Wabbit at the old abandoned hospital and he hopped around, looking for his friends. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks. "Sir?" said a familiar voice. An enormous smile spread across the Wabbit's face and he wheeled about. "Franco Contadino! I thought I'd never see you again!" shouted the Wabbit with glee and he threw out his paws and hugged Franco and hopped up and down. "I was very sick, Sir," said Franco. "In the camp evacuation." "Tell me," said the Wabbit gently. "I dreamt I was in a green place with flowers and statues, Sir," said Franco. The Wabbit's fur tingled. "Then I heard a booming voice say that my orders were thrice changed and I must return, Sir." "Thoth," thought the Wabbit. "The Goddess Unut did change things." "This is is our new camp now, Sir," said Franco. "Relocation and reconstruction being led by a new attaché." "Oh yes?" said the Wabbit. "Fine officer, Sir. Name of Ghost Bunny," said Franco, "Lectures on a new tactic," he added. "We must welcome the new," murmured the Wabbit, fresh from his journey. Then he paused. "What kind of tactic?" he enquired gently. “The Bunny Zap, Sir," said Franco. The Wabbit's fur stood on end. "All personnel to Padiglioni 3 on the triple," he yelled and to his amazement his voice boomed across the grounds from loudspeakers. "This is not a drill," he added and his voice trailed off and he couldn't think of anything else to say. The Wabbit looked at Franco and shrugged. "Orders Sir!" said Franco. "Be there or be square," yelled the Wabbit and groaned.

The Wabbit has Double Vision

"This looks like an archaeologists’ dig," said the Wabbit, knowledgeably, "Yes," laughed Lapnet, the demi-Goddess. "Silly sausages. They find stuff that I wouldn't give house room and then cheer." They both laughed. "Did you learn about change, Wabbit?" said Lapnet. "More than I thought," replied the Wabbit. "Things do change and things are always the same and they're always different." "Exactly," said Lapnet and she suddenly waved her paws. The Wabbit jumped as he heard an enormous thunderclap. To his amazement he saw what he thought was Turbina whizz over his head. The Wabbit paused and watched her bank round and down. "Hang on," said the Wabbit "There's two Turbinas now!" "Yes," said Lapnet. "One of them is mine." The Wabbit thought for minute but he couldn't think of a reason why a Goddess shouldn't have a Turbina. "What will you call her?" asked the Wabbit. "Turbina 2," said Lapnet. "Very traditional," said the Wabbit. "Will you pass this way again?" asked Lapnet but then she saw that the Wabbit looked uncomfortable. "Soon, in your jet car," she said soothingly. "I will," smiled the Wabbit. "You might just need this." He plucked from his fur a card and wrote on it. Lapnet read it out loud. "Goddess on Call," she said. "Just slip it in the windscreen, no parking tickets." said the Wabbit. "Oh, I can make them go away," said Lapnet. They both laughed again. "What's your next mission?" asked Lapnet. "It's in the Lap of the Gods," smiled the Wabbit.

The Wabbit says farewell to Marco Simoncelli

"What's that noise?" said Lapnet the demi Goddess. "That sounds like a Gresini Racing Honda," said the Wabbit, "and it's flying like us!" The rider was waving across to the Wabbit and shouting something, so the Wabbit brought Turbina alongside. "Am I heading the right way for the Elysian Fields?" asked the rider. "Oh no Marco, it's you," cried the Wabbit. "How did you get here? And why the Elysian Fields?" "Ciao Wabbit! I'm afraid I ran out of road," said Marco Simoncelli, the motorbike champion. The Wabbit was very upset and tried to hide it from Marco. "He's too young," whispered the Wabbit to Lapnet. "But he was brave and heroic," replied Lapnet. "Yes he was," said the Wabbit and he leaned out of the window. "Marco!" shouted the Wabbit. "I have to ask you if you would change anything." "No," yelled Marco. "I wouldn't change a single second of it" "I told you," said Lapnet to the Wabbit and she threw another bunch of flowers from the window. Marco caught the flowers with ease and held them high in the air and shouted "Grazie!" "Prego," smiled Lapnet sweetly and waved. "We're headed for the Elysian Fields now," she said. The Wabbit didn't have to think for very long. "Why don't you come along with us, Marco," suggested the Wabbit. "I'll race you there," said Marco.

The Wabbit and the Problem of the Past

"Has there been some kind of trouble here?" asked the Wabbit. "It's about the past," said Lapnet the demi-Goddess and she paused and tilted for Goddess effect. "In bygone times, desert came up to these walls and camels brought all manner of goods from distant and exotic lands." "Camels?" asked the Wabbit. Lapnet waved a paw and two camels appeared and spoke. "We are," said the first camel. "The Casbah Camels," said the second. The Wabbit gaped. "Shake the Casbah?" he asked without thinking. "Rock the Casbah," corrected Lapnet. The two camels looked and each other and winked. "Nuzz nuzz!" said the first Camel in a jolly fashion. "We came 'ere by train," said the second camel and the first one laughed and laughed. "How do you two feel about change?" ventured the Wabbit. "Shake 'em up," said the first camel. The other one threw its head back and bellowed and howled. "Rattle and roll," they said together. The Wabbit could see they were both chewing and he drew close to Lapnet. "I like the look of of camels, but they spit," he whispered. "Wabbits don't spit," said Lapnet. "Not even if we wanted to," said the Wabbit ruefully. He quickly ushered Lapnet inside Turbina the Jet Car, wound up the windows and settled back. "Would you care for a liquid beverage?" he asked of Lapnet. "What do you have?" replied Lapnet. The Wabbit perused Turbina's tiny cocktail cabinet. "I can offer you Ambrosia, nectar, or would you prefer mead?" "I would rather have a carrot aperitivo," said Lapnet.

The Wabbit and the Goddess On Board

"Take us up, Commander," said Turbina the Jet Car. "Nice and easy," she murmured. "I'll make it so," said the Wabbit and he gently lifted Turbina into the air. As the Wabbit engaged the thruster he saw Lapnet the demi Goddess threw flowers from the window. He glanced down to see they were leaving a trail of bright yellow flowers in their wake and he smiled a broad smile. "What a wonderful chariot," said Lapnet. "I would like such a chariot.” "Don't they come with the job?" asked the Wabbit. "Yes, they're rather dreadful and break down repeatedly," said Lapnet. "I think I used to have one of these," said the Wabbit. "I want a Turbina!" exclaimed Lapnet. "OK," said the Wabbit hesitantly. "What do all these buttons do?" asked Lapnet. "Nothing we need worry about," said the Wabbit quickly. Lapnet ran her paws lightly across the dials and switches as the Wabbit looked on with horror. But to his surprise, beautiful music filled the cabin and he could smell flowers. "And that red button there?" asked Lapnet, pointing. "Not that one," sighed the Wabbit at the precise moment that Lapnet pushed the button. The Wabbit heard a light crack. Suddenly, everything he could see in front of him compressed into a single dot, then rapidly expanded. The Wabbit looked round. They were parked in a small street on a hill in Thessaloniki. "That was quick," said Turbina approvingly. "We're here," said Lapnet. "I want to show you something."

The Wabbit and the Problem of Change

Refreshed from his sleep amongst the flowers of the Elysian Fields, the Wabbit hopped onto a plinth and pretended to be a statue. Lapnet smiled at the Wabbit. "It used to be quite different here," she said. "What was it like?" asked the Wabbit. "This was a mighty port and ships came and went. And there were ropes and boxes and things from far-off lands," said Lapnet, "But then the sea went away." "No more ships," said the Wabbit. "Oh Wabbit, other things came. Everything changes!" said Lapnet. The Wabbit wrinkled his nose and Lapnet noticed. "Greek Gods meddle," she said. "But we do have our limits." "I do want change," said the Wabbit firmly. "If you want the change that you want, then you must do the changing," said Lapnet. The Wabbit fell silent for a while and he found himself looking at one of the statues, because he was certain it had moved. Then he heard Lapnet's voice. "Will you take me on a visit to the city in your chariot of fire?" asked Lapnet. The Wabbit couldn't help glancing across to Turbina the Jet Car and he heard three quick blasts from her horn. "How could we refuse a Goddess?" smiled the Wabbit. "Demi-goddess," said Lapnet. "It's settled," said the Wabbit. "Now I'm just going to talk to that statue over there." "The one with no head?" asked Lapnet. "Nobody's perfect," said the Wabbit.

The Wabbit in the Elysian Fields

Turbina landed on the slopes of Mount Olympus and ejected the Wabbit from the car. So the Wabbit hopped forward to the other side of the pool. "Welcome to the Elysian Fields," said a sweet voice. The Wabbit turned with amazement. "Don't I know you?" asked the Wabbit. "I am Lapnet and I tend these flowers, who are the souls of the departed," said a beautiful wabbit holding a bunch of beautiful flowers. The Wabbit looked around. "Does everyone come through here?" asked the Wabbit. "Only those that are good and heroic," said Lapnet. "Your friends are here." The Wabbit thought for a minute and his ears quivered lightly. "The Flowers of the Forest," said the Wabbit softly. "Yes, they are gone to flowers now," said Lapnet. The Wabbit nodded and felt a moment of calm. But a sudden nagging thought touched the Wabbit and he frowned. "Your friend Franco is is not here," said Lapnet quickly. "But Unut will find him." "She will?" asked the Wabbit. "She sent out an All-Gods Bulletin," said Lapnet. "Are you a Goddess?" asked the Wabbit in awe. "I'm in that general framework," replied Lapnet and she smiled at the Wabbit. "Will you stay a while?" she said. "I've a lot to do," blustered the Wabbit. He was just about to mention his list when he heard Turbina honk her horn. "Even your chariot agrees," said Lapnet. So the Wabbit sat down and laid his head in the flowers and drifted into sleep. But he was dimly aware of a lone piper playing. And never was piping so sweet.

The Wabbit and the Greek Blues

The Wabbit found himself standing on a seafront with Turbina the Jet Car. "Why are we here?" said the Wabbit. "That is an existential question to which I have no answer," said Turbina. A silence fell. Suddenly, the Wabbit pricked up his ears because he could hear the assertive strains of rebetico music, drifting from a nearby cafe. The Wabbit hopped up and down and waved his paws. "Greek Blues," exclaimed the Wabbit. "We're in Greece!" "That was your destination decreed by Unut, Wabbit Goddess," said Turbina. "You finally met someone that outranked you," smiled the Wabbit. "Just a bit, not much in it," said Turbina. There was another silence. "I am instructed to ensure that you relax," said Turbina doubtfully. "How will you do it?" asked the Wabbit. "I will watch you and if I catch you not relaxing, I will hoot my horn," said Turbina. The Wabbit hadn't felt like laughing in a while, but now he did. So he hopped down the seafront for a long way and he looked all around and then he hopped back again. "You can get a good salad sandwich here," he said, to no-one in particular. "You'll need it. We're going to Mount Olympus," said Turbina. "Mount Olympus!" said the Wabbit. "It's got more Gods than you can shake a stick at!" The Wabbit thought for a moment. "Drive or fly?" he asked. "Take a look at the traffic," said Turbina. "Fly," said the Wabbit.

The Wabbit and Unut the Wabbit Goddess

The Wabbit hung in mid air looking up at the face of Unut, the great Wabbit Goddess. "I'll never get used to that," thought the Wabbit sadly. "We meet again, Wabbit." said Unut gravely. "Again," echoed the Wabbit. "I feel your loss, Wabbit. But most of all I feel your anger,” said Unut. "I should have known. I should have been in touch. I should have been better informed," shouted the Wabbit. "Thrice should!" boomed Thoth, the Baboon God. The Wabbit had met Thoth before and he cringed but Unut turned and glared at Thoth. "I will put you outside if there's any more booming." Unut turned back to the Wabbit. "I'm sending you on a journey." "I haven't got time. I have a list. I'm spread thin," spluttered the Wabbit. "Thrice refused," muttered Thoth, under his breath. "Normally Wabbit," said Unut sternly, "when a Goddess sends you on a journey, it takes priority." "OK," said the Wabbit with a sigh. "Take your red chariot of fire with you, said Unut. The Wabbit thought and thought. "Red chariot of fire, red chariot of fire?" he asked himself frantically. "The Fiat turbine prototype!" shouted Unut with exasperation. "OK," said the Wabbit. "There's another you'll have to cope with on your journey," said Unut. "Who's that?" asked the Wabbit. "Yourself," replied Unut. And the Wabbit felt himself get thinner and thinner and thinner until he was just a faint scribble in the vastness of the cosmos.

The Wabbit gets Unfortunate News

"I brought here you to the Museum, because I have news," said Lapinette. The Wabbit looked at Lapinette's face. He could tell it wasn't good news and he felt a shiver go through his fur. "We had a message from Monty about the Free Wabbits of Turin and the base camp," said Lapinette. The Wabbit waited with a sinking heart. "There was terrible disease," said Lapinette. "No one could stop it. Our allies rescued a few of our number but the rest have perished." The Wabbit put his paws across his eyes and his head sank as he suppressed a sob. There was an awful silence. "What about my friend Franco? Franco Contadino?" asked the Wabbit, with a trembling voice. Lapinette shook her head. "We think he's gone." The Wabbit suddenly turned and kicked the Egyptian statue and the whole building shook with his anger and pain. The Wabbit kicked the statue again and again and he did not stop until he felt the light touch of Lapinette's paw on his shoulder. "He's not dead, he's Missing in Action," shouted the Wabbit frantically. "You must speak with Unut, the Wabbit Goddess," said Lapinette softly. "Why me?" asked the Wabbit. "Because you're the only one that can," said Lapinette. The Wabbit looked at the Egypt Museum and he felt a pull that he recognised from some time before. "Be seeing you," said the Wabbit as he slid towards the entrance. "Go," said Lapinette. And the Wabbit hunched and jumped and plunged head first into the dark basement of the Goddesses.

The Wabbit and the Gala Dinner

Everyone was arriving for the winner's Gala Dinner and they were in good spirits. Ghost Bunny fluttered to the music and Puma prowled and growled. "Ho there my homies!" The loud greeting heralded Skratch, strolling in as if he was walking onto a yacht. "The carrot aperitivi are quite delicious," said Lapinette, who had already tried one. "Here's to the winner of the race," said the Wabbit. "Next year will be a different matter." "Oh, shall I give you driving lessons?" asked Lapinette." Ghost Bunny tittered and watched the Wabbit. "That won't be necessary," said the Wabbit, waving his paws. "I'm working on something." "In the shed at the back of the Department?" asked Lapinette. "It's very hush-hush," said the Wabbit and he winked at Ghost Bunny. "Whatever you're cooking, it better be good," said Lapinette, stroking Puma's head without thinking. "Purr," said Puma. "What's on the menu?" asked Snail. "Carrots!" exclaimed Lapinette. "I have some fungi and cardboard for you, Snail." "Yum," said Snail. "And I ordered herring for Skratch and Puma. Ghost Bunny is having scary carrots." "Scarrots!" cried Ghost Bunny. "What about me?" asked the Wabbit. "Artichoke tubers for us," said Lapinette. "There are only two kinds of food," stated the Wabbit, solemnly. "Do tell," murmured Lapinette. "There are artichokes ... and then the rest," smiled the Wabbit. "Don't wolf them down!" shouted everyone.

The Wabbit hosts the Podium

If there was one thing the Wabbit could do well, it was an urgent whisper. "Lapinette!" the Wabbit whispered urgently. "What do I say?" he hissed even more urgently than before. Lapinette whispered back reluctantly. "Just make it up as you go along, you usually do." "OK," said the Wabbit. He plumped up his fur and adopted an engaging manner. "I am pleased to award the winner with this magnificent and extremely large trophy." The Wabbit waited for the applause to die away. "As runner up I have the greatest pleasure in announcing that Aperol and Campari have agreed to sponsor our carrot aperitivi." "Wabbit," whispered Lapinette. "You're a disgrace." But she held the massive cup over her face to hide a smile. "Now he won't have to pay," said Skratch to Ghost Bunny. "Shhhh!" said Ghost Bunny. The Wabbit staggered forward and passed the cup to Lapinette with some relief. Everyone watched Lapinette hold the Cup up high. "Hurrah!" cried Ghost Bunny and wailed very softly. "All of these organisations have helped us along our way," said the Wabbit. "Mostly unwittingly," said Lapinette quietly. Lapinette caught the attention of the audience with a serious voice. "It is always our custom to have a favourite cause and we are introducing the Autistic Society and Autismo Italia. "Members of the Carrot Club will be collecting your emergency coins," said the Wabbit. "Dig deeply in your fur." "I have no fur,” said Snail. "You're not getting out of it," said the Wabbit.