The Wabbit has Mail

The Wabbit and Monty went way back. They had history and there been issues. But the Wabbit thought that perhaps bygones should be bygones. "Monty, what news?" The Wabbit spoke pleasantly. "There was a curious occurrence," said Monty, nervously. "Two ladies approached the camp asking for the wabbit in charge. They asked many questions about you." A faint memory stirred for the Wabbit. "One woman and one old lady bearing an umbrella?" "Exactly", said Monty. "I told them nothing of any importance of course." The Wabbit wondered how much of importance there was to tell but, all the same, he was curious. "They thrust this letter into my paws and quickly ran off. Perhaps you should open it," suggested Monty in a helpful manner - but mostly because he was curious too. The Wabbit opened the letter with a flick of his paw and took out a single sheet of lavender perfumed paper inscribed in copperplate handwriting. He scanned the contents and turned to Monty with a frown. "It warns the Wabbit and his good lady of a scoundrel who has been watching the secret pied-à-terre." "Not very secret then," said Monty. The Wabbit glared furiously at Monty and continued. "The letter suggests this cad is up to no good and implores the Wabbit to take the utmost care." The Wabbit shook his head. "It is signed Your Most Ardent Admirers," he said, in a puzzled fashion. "I could find them." said Monty. "I don't think there's any need," said the Wabbit, "since they're already following us."

The Wabbit finds himself on Familiar Ground

The Wabbit was so pleased with his new coat that he decided to give it an outing. So in the afternoon, he left Turbina the jet car behind and hopped over the bridge and across the railway line to another neighbourhood. "There's something awfully familiar about this place," thought the Wabbit as he looked around. The market traders were clearing up and he saw one of them take lettuce and cabbage to a nearby piece of land enclosed by a fence. The Wabbit slapped a paw to his forehead. This was the Free Wabbits of Torino Base Camp. Just as soon as he had recognised where he was, he noticed wabbits gathering on the far side of the field and making their way over. And as he was watching them, he suddenly became aware of voice from just beside him. The voice addressed him in an impossibly cheerful tone. "We were expecting you. You're just in time for a salad sandwich, Mr Wabbit." The Wabbit wondered how he could possibly be expected - since to his certain knowledge, he had given no-one any indication of his visit. Yet everywhere he went, his arrival was ready known in advance. There seemed to be nothing the Wabbit could do about it so he looked down and said, "Thank you fellow wabbit. I would appreciate a bite to eat." The small wabbit nodded his head and added, "You have mail, Mr Wabbit." "Well, lets go and find out what it's all about," said the Wabbit. And off they hopped together, over the wall and through the fence.

The Wabbit needs Spare Parts

It had only been a small mattter of changing the oil and an interior switch and the Wabbit was wishing he hadn't bothered. Turbina put up the most terrible opposition to what she regarded as "tampering". The Wabbit shoved his paws deep in his fur and pretended it was nothing to to with him. It was a busy enough corner and he felt the whole neighbourhood was watching. As Turbina slammed her door on the mechanic and rattled the car ramp, the Wabbit wondered whether she would relax and allow the necessary maintenance. In his head he imagined a quiet well-mannered car. This made matters worse. Turbina's horn echoed from the walls and she belched flame from her exhaust. Then she made all her lights flash and sprayed the mechanic with water from her window washer. The Wabbit noticed Lapinette leaning from the balcony of her secret pied-à-terre and quickly turned to Turbina with a firm manner. "Visualise a long road lined with gas stations," he suggested soothingly. "And imagine they're all for you." Turbina went eerily quiet and the only sound that could be heard was the faint ticking of a fuel pump. Suddenly her door and hood flew open. The mechanic accomplished the work in record time and dived dramatically to the side. He had expected Turbina to take further revenge, but all was well. The Wabbit looked up at Lapinette with an innocent smile and waved an innocent paw. Lapinette tried to look disapproving, without success. And up on the corner, the old lady and her daughter who had seen them drive pass the park, threw their arms around each other and hugged. "Lets have an ice cream and talk about what we've seen," said the mother. And so they did.

The Wabbit arrives Early

The Wabbit and Lapinette reached Torino early and as they drove through familar streets, they heard Turbina's exhaust crackling in the morning air. Nearby, sitting on a park bench before breakfast, an elderly lady and her daughter watched the traffic pass, as they did every single day except Fridays. "Do you know," said the daughter, "that I just saw two wabbits drive by in a jet car?" The old lady spoke curtly. "I don't hold with wabbits driving jet cars and that's a fact." "Oh but they looked lovely," said her daughter. "She looked beautiful - la coniglia più bella che ho mai visto - and he was handsome and wore the most amazing glasses. Where do you think they're going?" "Somewhere very important by the sound of them, I'll be bound," her mother replied. "Perhaps they are having a before-breakfast meeting or whetever they call these things nowadays." "I don't think so," said the daughter shaking her head. "It's got to be a lot more more exciting than a meeting." "I think they went round there. Lets follow them and see where they go," replied her mother, nudging her daughter so forcibly from the seat, that she nearly fell on the grass. Inside the car, the Wabbit noticed the two get up from the bench and he mentally grumbled at Turbina's noisy exhaust. "Now look what you've done Turbina. You've frightened that old lady!" "Far from it," said Turbina.

The Wabbit gives Lapinette a Lift Home

After the Wabbit and Lapinette had enjoyed a fine meal, the Wabbit was on the way to Frankfurt Airport when Lapinette said suddenly, "Why don't you just keep going and give me a lift home?" The Wabbit thought, quite erroneously, that Torino was most awfully far and said, "Turbina is very thirsty on fuel." Lapinette rummaged deeply in her bag, brought out a concertina wallet of plastic cards and pretended to play it, whilst humming a pleasant tune. The Wabbit opened the throttle. Turbina lurched forward and, for a moment, flames spat from her jet exhaust. "Oh no," said the Wabbit. "We'll probably get arrested." Lapinette smiled. She searched more deeply in her bag and brought out a diplomatic passport - with which she proceeded to fan herself. The Wabbit nodded and his ears brushed along the roof of the car. Turbina took the next slip road on the Autobahn and headed South. Then the Wabbit's stomach rumbled without warning. It was a long, low and somewhat threatening rumble and the Wabbit looked dismayed. Lapinette searched briefly in her bag and produced a salad sandwich. "It's 500 kilometers to Torino," she said - and handed the salad sandwich to the Wabbit. The Wabbit shifted into a more comfortable driving position and adopted a theatrical tone. "We have a full tank of gas, a salad sandwich, it's dark and I'm wearing funny glasses." "Hit it," breathed Turbina. And instantly they were a mere pin prick of light in the distance.

The Wabbit watches the Kaninchenrettung Aid Lift begin

When the Wabbit looked up he saw something very familiar and he had been able to put two and two together. So when Lapinette came swooping down by parachute he could scarcely say he was surprised. Lapinette didn't take long to arrive with the first consignment of containers. She landed near the compound and as she folded up her her parachute, the wabbits of Kaninchenrettung descended on her with applause. They started to scurry around with containers, putting supplies away safely. Lapinette hopped towards the Wabbit and smiled. "I didn't know you worked for "Conigli Senza Frontiere," said the Wabbit "I don't really. I just pulled some strings," replied Lapinette. The Wabbit mused for a second. "Lapinette always manages to pull strings," thought the Wabbit. "And they stay pulled," he added to himself. "So! Ask the question, Wabbit," said Lapinette. The Wabbit was horror stricken. He couldn't think of the question. He thought and thought and thought and then he made it look as if he knew all along. "Ah yes, the question is, of course, what was that for a sort of adventure?" "It was wabbit magical realism," said Lapinette with a straight face. "It certainly was," said the Wabbit and chuckled. "What shall we do now?" "You could take me for lunch," said Lapinette. "Parachuting is very hungry work." "OK." said the Wabbit. "What about Adolf Wagner's in Frankfurt? I hear it is old fashioned and none the worse for it." "Go in Turbina the jet car?" Lapinette looked quizzical and the Wabbit put his paws on his hips. "Do you know, I'll swear that car knows what I'm thinking," "I do," said Turbina from right behind the Wabbit.

The Wabbit makes his Appeal Speech for Kaninchenrettung

When the Wabbit reached the Kaninchenrettung compound he was most impressed. Some wabbits gathered round and murmured "It's Herr Kaninchen, the Wabbit." Others seemed to know him only as the Jazz Wabbit. There was polite applause for a considerable time. The Wabbit waited for it to subside and then began with a question. "Fellow wabbits! What are your just and fair requirements?" A young wabbit at the rear binkied high in the air and cried "Homes, carrots, health care!" Another said, "We urgently need vet's funds. Through no fault of our own our bills are prodigious." The Wabbit nodded in sympathy and continued. "Wabbits have made considerable gains in recent times." He paused again as sounds of agreement echoed round the compound. The Wabbit went on. "Still, we remain in the shade of other mammals. And so we must find allies as did the Free Wabbits of Turin who are regularly fed by market traders. There are those in the mammal community who will support us in times of need. They are our chief allies." "But we don't know where to find them," said the young wabbit. "The Wabbit glanced at his notes and looked back up. "They will find you. Your friends, supporters and admirers must go to the Kaninchenrettung Web Site on the Internet and press computer keys," said the Wabbit knowledgeably. "Everyone gives a small amount with their credit card." "... with PayPal," shouted the young wabbit and she binkied a considerable distance. "Just the job," said the Wabbit colloquially and bowed. A tall wabbit in the centre of the compound then approached the Wabbit and said "Do you think it will work?" But something had caught the Wabbit's attention and he glanced into the sky. "I think its already starting," he replied to to the tall wabbit quietly. And he turned to the audience and raised a paw. "Seid umschlungen, Kaninchens!" And the Wabbit put up a silent prayer that the wabbits would indeed be embraced. Yet he knew in his heart that there were many out there willing to help the wabbits. "Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt," murmured the Wabbit.

The Wabbit meets his Contact at Kaninchenrettung

Turbina slid smoothly into a clearing on the outskirts of town and the Wabbit alighted to meet his contact. "I can tell by your car, that you are the Wabbit." said the waiting wabbit." Ich freue mich Sie kennenzulernen," replied the Wabbit, because he was very pleased indeed to make his acquaintance. "I am in charge of security and I am detailed to take you through the forest to the Kaninchenrettung compound." The Wabbit knew that meant Wabbit Rescue and he was rather excited. He was thinking about what the Kaninchenrettung compound might look like and how he would be received, when the security wabbit broke in. "Herr Kaninchen, the wabbits are looking forward to your speech." The Wabbit stopped in his tracks. There was nothing in his mission papers about a speech. "Ah, yes, my speech," said the Wabbit. His mind raced. "I will of course, play it by ear." he said finally. The security wabbit started to lead the way through the forest and just as the Wabbit started to hop closely behind, he turned. "I understand you like jazz, Herr Kaninchen," The Wabbit replied enthusiastically in the affirmative. "You are perhaps familiar with Albert Mangelsdorff," said his contact. "Tell me more," said the Wabbit, as together they hopped happily through the trees to Kaninchenrettung.

The Wabbit presents his Credentials

Turbina took the Wabbit straight to the Town Hall. The Wabbit didn't have to look at his map. "Oh, what a nice building," thought the Wabbit. He knew it was called the Rathaus, because his mission papers specified that he must there present his credentials. The Wabbit had been met by the Mayor. "We are expecting you," the Mayor had spoken in a pleasant voice. The Wabbit had then presented his diplomatic pass, which was inspected with approval. Then he was given a wonderful packed lunch, presented in a tray with compartments. In each compartment there was a portion of his favourite food - sliced carrots, artichoke tubers and gourmet pellets. "Ich bin Ihnen sehr dankbar," the Wabbit had responded, because his tummy was rumbling and he was very grateful indeed. Everyone in the building came out and stood on the stairs and waved. "Viel Glück, Herr Kaninchen!" The Wabbit had been quite overcome. Now, as he sat in Turbina, he wondered quite where he was supposed to go and he realised he had forgotten to ask. The Wabbit slapped his paw across his forehead and said to Turbina "I suppose you know." "I do." said Turbina.

The Wabbit hops Out on Mission

The Wabbit was feeling in a determined mood. He had read his mission papers during the flight and he was confident of success. He was to pick up Turbina, the jet car, outside the airport and drive the short distance to Rosbach vor der Höhe. It was only 25 kilometers away and the Wabbit thought he could surely have cartwheeled that distance in no time. But Turbina it had to be. It had been adapted for his paws and so had to be tested - and that was that. The Wabbit looked for the car park exit and as he hopped, he wondered what Rosbach vor der Höhe would be like. He had never been in Germany before and so he turned on the special translation unit in his ears. Then all at once he spotted a tall man holding up a very large sign and the very large sign said "Herr Kaninchen for Turbina," "Oooh that's me," said the Wabbit. "I am that very Kaninchen." "Please follow me," said the tall man, who quickly ushered the Wabbit through a side door and into his car. The Wabbit sat for a second. Then he opened the throttle and suddenly the Wabbit had gone.

The Wabbit gets orders from the General

The Wabbit was staring out the window, convinced that he could see a familiar helichopper, when the Captain's voice boomed over the tannoy. "Mr Wabbit! Incoming communication for you from La Generale Lapinette. I'll patch it through." The Wabbit's eyes shot up as far as they could possibly go. A steward handed the Wabbit a headset and, not without a little difficulty, he put the headphones on his ears. "Em, you were promoted, Lapinette?" "Because I'm worth it!" Lapinette laughed her infectious laugh and continued. "Your mission has been changed. Orders from on high." "Higher than you?" The Wabbit asked this in tone of voice that he thought was humorous. Lapinette ignored the Wabbit's misplaced wit. "It is an extremely important wabbit matter. You are diverted to Frankfurt, where you will proceed on a mission of the utmost importance." "Is it Importantly Important?" The Wabbit thought everything was considered important these days and liked to make sure of the relative importance of everything. "It is most urgently important." said Lapinette. The Wabbit noticed that the steward had placed a bulky envelope marked Mission Papers behind the net on the back of the seat in front. "Copy that Generale," said the Wabbit, getting his terms right for once. "Buon viaggio, bello. Out," said Lapinette without further ado and the Wabbit saw the helichopper fade into the distance.

The Wabbit Takes Off in a Hurry

Having been waved through the Gate and onto the airport bus, the Wabbit was a little relieved he wasn't getting special treatment. He would be able to relax and read all the papers from the net on the back off the seat in front. Maybe he would order a salad sandwich from the trolley. A pang of hunger shot through the Wabbits tummy at the thought. But suddenly the doors closed and he found himself completely alone as the bus lurched out to the Big Green Plane. The Wabbit looked out and saw many disgruntled passengers making their way off the plane. "Not normal, not normal at all," thought the Wabbit. He slid quietly into the shadows at the side of the bus and listened. "I must take exception to all this. I've never had such treatment. Throwing all of us off!" A woman with a rucksack that was far to big for her complained bitterly. "Apparently its a matter of international security," said her partner soothingly. "We should feel privileged to help and they're going to give us a free lunch." The Wabbit put a paw up to his brow and shook his head from side to side. "I think it may be time for me to be be getting along promptly," he thought. He put his head down, his ears right back and then he sprinted lickedy-split for the plane. He shot straight up the steps and he neither stopped nor looked back until he was through the doors. The Wabbit collapsed in Seat 1C and straightened his fur as the plane taxied out to the runway. "Here we go again," murmured the Wabbit. "Seat Belt, Mr Wabbit." The friendly steward fastened him in and he heard the turbines roar. The very next thing the Wabbit knew, he was looking out at a rosy sun that painted the snow-peaked Alps a delicate shade of pink.

The Wabbit gets help with his Bags

Strictly speaking, the Wabbit did not need a trolley to help carry his bag, even if his bag was heavier than it used to be. He had also acquired a temporary bag from Lapinette and though it was a little flowery for his taste, it was, as the Wabbit always put it, "serviceable". "Where are you going small wabbit?" A friendly voice boomed out from behind the Wabbit's trolley. "The Big Green Plane! said the Wabbit immediately. "I am going to the Big Green Plane too," said the voice. "May I be of any assistance?" "My bag is quite small," said the Wabbit, who was not that keen on being called "small wabbit". He felt it unbecoming for a Wabbit of his considerable merits to be addressed thus. All the same, it was a friendly voice and a friendly offer so he decided to accept. That was just as well for the Wabbit, who then enquired, "May I ask your name?" "My name is Captain Sean of the Big Green Plane. "What a coincidence," said the Wabbit. "Are you familiar with helichoppers? " I'm afraid not," laughed Captain Sean. "But I am familiar with the Airbus 320." The Wabbit was quiet. He didn't think an Airbus sounded half as exciting as an Augusta-Bell AB412, but was far too polite to say anything of the sort. The Captain pushed the Wabbit's bags all the way to the Gate. "That was very nice of you, thank you" said the Wabbit. "Please take one of my new business cards." The Captain didn't seem to think it strange that a wabbit would have a business card. "Thank you," said the Captain. "One never knows when one might need the services of a wabbit such as yourself." You're certainly right there," thought the Wabbit.

The Wabbit gets a Surprise Cake

The dinner had been excellent and Wabbit, Lovely Lapinette and Franco Contadino were all extremely happy. Then suddenly, as if by magic, a giant cake arrived on the table. "Whats this?" The Wabbit hadn't a clue where the cake came from. "It's cake," said Lapinette. Franco chimed in. " Cake Sir! What to do? Sir!" The Wabbit was philosophical. "There's only one thing to do with cake. Perhaps it came from Sergio Marchionne." "He doesn't seem like the cake type - but it could be a present," said Lapinette as she picked up a small card that had gone unnoticed. She studied it closely. "It says it's from Sergio and the Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino." Lapinette put the card carefully in her bag. "That spells FIAT! Sir! That is the name of the Cake, Sir!" The Wabbit thought for a minute. "It's a celebration cake and it's just for us." Lapinette frowned. "There are some others who deserve some cake. All the staff at the Big CTO Hospital." The Wabbit pondered. "Clari Csuk, Sergio Marchionne and Moloch!" "What about the students you splashed? Lapinette looked disapprovingly. "Oh I'm sorry, send them some cake," said the Wabbit. Lapinette took some small plastic wrappers from her bag and together they cut off bits of cake for all their friends. They sat in silence for a while. The Wabbit broke the silence. " What kind of adventure was that, anyway?" Franco was swift in reply. "It was Italian neo-postmodern, Sir!" Lapinette and the Wabbit looked at Franco with big eyes. "Got you Sir," said Franco. And for the second time that day, they laughed and laughed and laughed.

The Wabbit rounds Things Off

The Wabbit saw to it that Sergio and his helichopper were dropped off at Lingotto in time for dinner. Now with Franco at his own controls, the Wabbit and the Lovely Lapinette sat in the passenger seats at the back and looked out at Turbina. "It will hold, of course," The Wabbit always worried. "Of course it will. Why do you always worry?" Lovely Lapinette was quite practical in these matters. "Oh, I don't know," said the Wabbit. As usual, when stuck for an answer, he tried of think of as many things as he possibly could. " Weight, wind velocity, downward thrust, turbulence, local atmospheric conditions?" The Wabbit ran out of technical terms and for a brief moment he was quiet until Franco broke in."Where to Sir? Orders, Sir!" The Wabbit turned to Lapinette. "He always calls me Sir." "Oh I know," said Lapinette. "He insists on calling me Marchesa and there is nothing I can do that will stop him." "Lets head for Milan," said the Wabbit. "I know a very good place for dinner." "Really? Celery, carrots, basil?" Lapinette was enthusiastic. "The very best ... " The Wabbit smiled, " ... and artichoke tubers." "Excellent Sir! Sounds good to me Sir! Setting a course for Linate, Sir! "There he goes again," said the Wabbit. Then to the Wabbit's surprise, Franco began to sing. "O mia bella Madonnina, che te brillet de lontan tutta dòra e piscinina, Ti te dòminet Milan/sòtta Ti se viv la vita, se sta mai coj man in man." "I thought he was from Turin," said the Wabbit. "Apparently not," giggled Lapinette. And they both giggled and laughed until they fell fast asleep.