The Wabbit considers the duties of Christmas

The Wabbit crept between the children's feet and looked carefully at the Christmas display. He thought it was ... quite nice. Even although wabbits, as always, were excluded, he did think the bears were rather well-represented. But Arctic wabbits were so very, very lovely - and even though the Wabbit thought and thought, he could not come up with an explanation as to why these beautiful creatures were never considered. Then the Wabbit looked at the presents under the tree and wondered what was in the boxes. Christmas was coming and the Wabbit felt unprepared. What about the cards? What about the gifts? And most worrisome of all, what about all the Wabbit's relations? That made the Wabbit tremble slightly. Because wabbits have so many relations, it could make the festive season seem daunting. "Don't worry Wabbit" thought the Wabbit. "I wish them all well - and that's more than enough!" Satisfied, the Wabbit hopped in a sprightly way, bidding the bears a cheery goodbye.

The Wabbit invents the Automatic Wabbit Wash

No sooner had the Wabbit awakened that he was whisked off to do Christmas shopping. It was something the Wabbit liked to put off, although he enjoyed it when it happened. The Wabbit knew that he had to be forcibly encouraged. It was very warm in the car and sometimes it was too hot, since the Wabbit had substantial amounts of his own fur. Just as he nudged the climate control switch with his nose, the Wabbit was suddenly surrounded by giant brushes, which whirled and whooshed and whirled again. "My goodness me, whatever next!" thought the Wabbit. The Wabbit thought it would be very peculiar indeed of there was a giant Wabbit Wash where wabbits of all kinds queued to be cleaned. There might even be a premium grooming option which the Wabbit thought of as the Big Golden Wabbit Wash. The Wabbit murmured to himself about the possible options. "Six Wabbit Washes, get one free!" The Wabbit decided he quite liked Christmas shopping and chortled quietly in the way that wabbits sometimes do.

The Wabbit counted the days to Christmas

The Wabbit was home. And as he had anticipated, a fire was glowing brightly and flames leapt high from a monster log. It was almost as if someone had read his thoughts and provided a fire log for the Wabbit. The Wabbit lay down and snuggled. It was certainly worth going out in the ice and snow, just to come back! The Wabbit thought back on the events of his trip and agreed with himself that it had been a good one. But he knew that sometimes the Wabbit was prone to agreeing with himself - and it was something he especially looked out for. "Oh look you silly wabbit, Christmas is coming!" thought the Wabbit to himself. "How many wabbit days are there until Christmas anyway?" He counted 17 days, by tapping his teeth slightly. "Not long", thought the Wabbit. "Not long at all!" And then the Wabbit fell fast asleep.

The Wabbit dreams of a Log Fire

The Wabbit was at last in his very own street and although it looked far, his home was near enough. The weather had turned damp and wet. The snow was disappearing fast and that was good news for the Wabbit. His cousin wabbits in the Arctic could keep it, thought the Wabbit. “When I get home”, further speculated the Wabbit, “perhaps there will be an enormous log fire and I will dry my fur with speed.” The Wabbit’s fur was prone to wetness but deep inside the Wabbit was warm. “Next year”, thought the Wabbit, “I shall be more prepared for inclement weather!” And then the Wabbit was very tickled with his vocabulary and made a soft grinding noise with his jaws. Then the Wabbit spoke loudly to himself. “If I had any boots, I would be far too big for them!” And the Wabbit laughed and laughed and laughed

The Wabbit finds traces of incomers in his Neighbourhood

Aided by he warmth of Lagomorph Lager, the Wabbit easily made his way home. But when he rounded a corner into a familiar street he was stopped dead in his tracks by a strange sight. Or was it? "Eskimos!" gasped the Wabbit and he hunched down for a better look. The Wabbit was aware that not everyone liked the term Eskimo, but he knew no other. Anyway, the Wabbit was completely unaware of any Eskimos in the area but he acknowledged that there could easily be a small community. People travelled around, reasoned the Wabbit. Many people from different lands had made the Wabbit's neighbourhood more diverse and interesting. So had climate change made the presence of Eskimos here a likelihood? The Wabbit hoped it had, despite his cold paws. "I will return if the weather holds. Perhaps they might need help to build the igloo." And the Wabbit, resolved that day to be a more helpful wabbit in as many ways as a wabbit could.

The Wabbit pauses for a Photo Opportunity

One gulp of Lagomorph Lager and the Wabbit felt quite dreamy. It was better than he had expected. Light on the palate, it had an admirable aftertaste and a pleasant warmth spread to his cold paws. A camera was produced and the Wabbit pulled himself up into what he thought was an elegant pose. "I hope this doesn't mean I automatically endorse the product for all wabbits." murmured the Wabbit. On the other hand, the Wabbit was very impressed. "If the derogation comes through for the proposed Wabbit Headquarters this would make for tasty opening toasts" he thought. Thinking of that, the Wabbit also felt quite toasty too, and that improved the prospect of his journey home through the snow. So the Wabbit tucked his loyalty card into his fur and hopped to the door.

The Wabbit is made to feel totally Welcome

The Wabbit was relieved to find himself inside the store. Thinking he was late, he had given himself a lot of stress. But after all that worrying he was slightly early instead! The two helpful staff made a cosy tasting area for him and apparently they could see the Wabbit, which was no bad thing at a tasting. A bottle of Lagomorph Lager ws brought to his table and - in a kind of ceremony - he was presented with an Oddbins loyalty card. "Oh I do like this !" thought the Wabbit. "I may come again." Then the Wabbit realised he had not actually tasted the Lagomorph Lager. He was so overwhelmed with the experience that he had completely forgotten the object of his journey. "Oh I am a silly wabbit sometimes.", thought the Wabbit, and smiled.

The Wabbit finally arrives at the Store

Finally the Wabbit got to the store where the tasting was to take place. Huffing and puffing, he was still complaining through his teeth about the state of the pavements. According to the Wabbit, not enough care was taken of the roads. They were invariably dirty and when there was bad weather, they were just left in a poor condition and wabbits had to fend for themselves. The paws of wabbits not only became matted, but fell victim to small cuts which could only bring infection and sickness. The Wabbit's complaints went on and on and on until the Wabbit himself realised that he could not control everything. All at once the Wabbit recognised he was spoiling his own fun. Had he forgotten the Lagomorph Lager and the anticipated tasting?. "OK, OK" said the Wabbit, "This is the right place. Bring on the Christmas cheer." And then the Wabbit smiled to himself. And his smile revealed every single one of his 28 teeth and they gleamed in the light from the store.

The Wabbit meets an Obstruction

The Wabbit hopped towards the shops even though his neighbourhood was caught in wintry conditions. He had heard through his network that there was special beer available that was suitable for wabbits. He was not so keen when he heard it was called Lagomorph Lager. But he thought he had better give it a chance. No-one would see him if he slipped in to one of these very ritzy tastings that the store put on from time to time. The door was always open and, being a wabbit, he just couldn't help hopping in and poking things. Up to this point the Wabbit had found it easy enough to negotiate the slippery streets but the Wabbit suddenly found his way obstructed. "I'm going to miss the tasting", thought the Wabbit. "Oh no. This is always happening." And the Wabbit moaned and groaned and moaned until he felt quite exhausted.

The Wabbit assesses the Weather (unfavourably)

No-one ever saw the Wabbit and that was both good and bad. It was why the Wabbit was always tentative on the balcony because he knew that sometimes the shutters would close and he would be stuck. It would be rather cold to be stuck there, but anyway he pushed himself up onto his hind legs for a good look. "Winter Wonderland" murmured the Wabbit with a note of sarcasm. Although the Wabbit was perfectly familiar with snow, he could take it or leave it. The Wabbit admitted to himself that, for preference, he would leave it. It hampered his movement, impeded his tasks and it did something funny to the light. Nevertheless, the Wabbit resumed his surveillance. Nothing was moving - not people, not cars, not even small mammals. "I don't care", thought the Wabbit. "I will go out and it will be quiet. I shall move carefully in a slight quirky loping gait. And no-one shall see me slide in the snow." And that's exactly what the Wabbit did.

The Wabbit and the Strange Box in the Street

The Wabbit was flabbergasted, but not for long. This was close to home and as long as the Wabbit had lived in these parts, there had always been strange things left in this street. But this was different. A package from foreign parts had been tossed aside. What if someone had dropped it? What if there was something in it? What if it was, in fact, intended for the Wabbit (but heavily disguised for secrecy). The Wabbit approached the parcel and nudged it with his nose. It sounded empty but that didn't mean much. It could be a soft toy or handkerchiefs. On the other hand it could well be be something very sinister sent by the agents of RABIT. The Wabbit had crossed paws with RABIT before, an unpleasant organisation with significant powers and unsavoury methods. Suddenly a gust of wind sent the parcel skittering down the road and into another street. "Out of my jurisdiction", murmured the Wabbit with relief. And nonchalantly whistling between his teeth, he proceeded home.

The Wabbit and the strange case of the Balloon Monster

The Wabbit was back in his neighbourhood. After his long hop around the adjacent area, he was quite exhausted and ready for a nice nap. But then a strange sight caught his eye. At first glance it looked rather like a Balloon Monster but on closer inspection you could see feet sticking out of the bottom (the Wabbit was up to such tricks since he was always at ground level). All at once the Wabbit imagined the great opening of his New Headquarters. There would be many balloons and music and carrots on sticks. Of course, the Wabbit was only speculating, since in reality he preferred his patch. And he did not have the necessary subvention to allow for the purchase of Real Estate. But it was nice to dream. "Hello balloon person!" the Wabbit cried out. But the balloon person couldn't hear him. And he certainly couldn't see him. He looked as if he might trip over and then the Wabbit felt a bit sorry for the Balloon Monster. At least wabbits didn't have to go about in this fashion. Not yet anyway. But quietly, the Wabbit noted down the number of the Balloon Company. "You just never know", thought the Wabbit.

The Wabbit becomes concerned about his Environment

The Wabbit paused by the canal bank at a spot that was not far from the site of his proposed headquarters. He had expected to find the water in better condition since it also flowed through his very own neighbourhood. But this was upstream and the poor canal seemed rather forlorn. Naturally the Wabbit had no thought of putting this matter on his list because his list was quite lengthy. And he knew that a struggle against one's wabbit environment is the most difficult to win. "If this is near my proposed headquarters, then I may review the position." murmured the Wabbit. After all, what would the Wabbit say to his esteemed guests? (In reality the Wabbit hadn't actually anticipated any guests until now.) Well, thought the Wabbit, "I could tell them it was just a temporary blip. Or that it was some other wabbit's fault. Oh I know, I might just tell them it was like that when I got here." The Wabbit thought long and hard. "No," thought the Wabbit. "I just can't do it." Then with a sigh of enormous reluctance, the Wabbit wrote "environment" on his list.

The Wabbit considers acquiring Real Estate

The Wabbit continued his walk in a close neighbourhood and was surprised to come across an interesting building (It was a little known fact that the Wabbit liked interesting buildings). Ever since the Wabbit had been co opted onto the Committee of Experts as a spokeswabbit on Wabbit Affairs, he had been asked about his Headquarters. Of course the Wabbit had no Headquarters. Strictly speaking, thought the Wabbit, it was not good form for a wabbit to have an HQ at all. But this building would make such a good place for the administration of Wabbit Affairs. And it looked as if it had been empty for some time. In the Wabbit's imagination he saw himself behind a massive desk on the top floor. And the floors below were teeming with wabbits carrying out important tasks. But for the life of him, the Wabbit could not think of what these tasks would be. And then the Wabbit lay on his back and laughed and laughed!

The Wabbit bumps into a Random Bale

The Wabbit was determined to sort out his list and decided to go on a longer walk around to visit adjacent neighbourhoods. He was convinced that this would give him fresh ideas. But no sooner had he ventured into new territories, than he ran into a big bale in the road and bent his ears back (and to the sides). "What the binky-bink!" said the Wabbit. The Wabbit did not expect bales of rubbish at the traffic lights. And certainly, the Wabbit was very, very reluctant to put any more matters on his list. He had plenty of things to deal with and no help whatsoever from other lagomorphs. I shall have to let this one slip, thought the Wabbit. "This time", said the Wabbit, "I didn't see anything. I was never here and even if I was, I was asleep." So the Wabbit hopped off quite quickly. And in any case, no-one ever saw the Wabbit.