3. Lapinette and the Hungry Zombies

Lapinette was in Testaccio Market when she heard them coming. It was a kind of shuffle. A little bit distinctive, a little bit zombie. She flattened herself against a trader's stall, but it was no good. They advanced round the corner and saw her immediately. She got her radio out and it started to crackle with the Wabbit's voice. The signal was intermittent. "Beware ..  crackle .. zombies .. crackle .. shopping," It was too squawky. She switched it off because she already knew that. The first zombie was shorter or maybe he was just stooped. He bent down even further. "Brains," he said, "Need brains." The taller one echoed him. "Juicy brains, more juicy, squashy brains." Saliva drooled from what was left of his lips. Lapinette was already pointing. "Straight along there. You can't miss the butcher. He has plenty of succulent juicy brains." She thought fast. "Do you like wild boar salami?" The two shuffled past. "Need human brains," they moaned. As they rounded the corner, Lapinette got back on the radio. "Wabbit, what's this zombie thing?" The radio crackled. "I've got my own zombies here. Terrible dress sense." Lapinette gritted her teeth. "What do your zombies eat?" The radio crackled again. "Each other." Lapinette felt nauseous. The radio whined a bit. "Can you interest them in aperitivi?" asked the Wabbit. 

2. The Wabbit and the Automatic Zombies

The Wabbit went to the shed the next day to check it out. He'd established that there was nothing untoward and moved further down the street when he heard scuffling behind him. He turned and there they were. Zombies. "I knew it!" he murmured. There was a badly dressed one, another who he could only describe as medium - and a young woman who he knew Lapinette would describe as tarty. They stood stock still. Then one moved its arms as if it was a signal for them all to move. Then they waved in ghastly synchrony. The Wabbit couldn't help moving back. It was then that something touched his ears. "Yeuch!" he yelled and brushed whatever it was away. He squinted upwards. It was a hideous skeletal figure with protruding bones. "Get off," he shouted. It was a hand that belonged to an arm that swayed for an instant before falling to the street. The Wabbit stepped back again. The zombies stepped forward. He stepped toward them. They stepped back. The Wabbit started thinking. They looked like they'd escaped from a film. Especially the one in the awful shirt. "How do you boo!" greeted the Wabbit. "Shopping, must do shopping!" they replied. The Wabbit pointed further down the street. "Furniture, kitchen and fittings," he said. He glanced at the roughly dressed one. "Men's outfitters and bags in great quantity." "Bags, get bags," said the Zombies. The skeletal figure replaced his arm and they stumbled past the Wabbit in the general direction of IKEA. "It's not even Black Friday," murmured the Wabbit. 

1. The Wabbit and Shaun of the Shed

The Wabbit rounded the shed-like structure on the street. It was never open and the Wabbit wondered why it was there. The lettering was beginning to fade, and it had seen better days. The Wabbit puffed out his cheeks. "Shaun of the Shed," he thought. He laughed at his own joke, even though it wasn't great. A delivery bike driver behind him giggled. "At least someone thinks I'm funny," murmured the Wabbit. But the cyclist was laughing at something further down the street. The Wabbit shrugged to conceal his disappointment. He was waiting on a message about a mission. No mission in the offing made the Wabbit sightly nervous. "I'm on more of an intermission," he quipped. He disliked waiting. The evening sun made long shadows on the road. "Time for an aperitivo," he mused. A new caffè had opened further along the road. He had yet to try it. He started to hop that way but glanced back at the shed. "I hope it's not full of zombies." He looked again. "When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will seek out sheds." He moved closer. "Dead in a shed!" Then he began to laugh. "Out of your head in a shed!" Passersby turned to look. Some joined in, calling for zombies to emerge. The Wabbit saw movement and shouted. "I like my zombies slow and stupid." The door swung open ...  

The Wabbit at his famous Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit ordered the team to assemble at the Caffè in Testaccio Market. It was a mite chilly, but their enthusiasm made up for the cold. Lapinette bounded into the Wabbit's paws. Or she would have, except he wasn't holding them out. Wabsworth was helpless with mirth. He'd souped up his sense of humour algorithm and guffawed like a pirate. "Love's young dream," he squealed. "That's quite enough Commander," said Lapinette. "Sorry Ma'am," he apologised. Lapinette was only pretending to be annoyed and she asked the question. "What was that for a sort of adventure we just had?" Skratch the Cat had arrived, only slightly late. "It was magic adventure, and you cannot have that on its own, Wabbit!" Wabsworth was anxious to redeem himself as a serious scholar. "Without society, magic does not exist. Yet its transformative nature is without mechanical parallel."  The Wabbit smiled one of his annoying smiles. "Even symbolic actions produce a change of state." Lapinette put her paws on her hips. "Collective imaginings of invisible powers imbue them with efficacy," she said, "And that is what makes magic a social fact." Skratch was on that with a pounce. "We are all social facts." They chanted together in unison. "We are all social facts. We are all social facts." The Wabbit hopped up and down. "I see cocktails here are dirt cheap! And that's a social fact." "You're buying, that's a fact." pointed Lapinette.

6. The Wabbit back in the Neighbourhood.

Dawn broke, the sun came up and they found themselves on steps that were in their very own neighbourhood. The Wabbit still had the wand. He waved it. Nothing happened. He tried again. Nothing. "It doesn't work any more." Lapinette was relieved. "It's for the best. I think you need to find a new hobby." The Wabbit half smiled. "I could have transformed the neighbourhood." Lapinette burst out laughing. "Leave that to the mayor." For a second the Wabbit saw massive buildings rising to the sky with heliports on top and moving walkways suspended in the air. People thronged back and forth. Now he made a wide grin. "I could be a property developer." Lapinette shuddered. "I'd call my company, Wabbitude," he continued. "Everything has a silly name now. I'll speak to Wabsworth." "You'll do nothing of the sort!" yelled Lapinette, "You're totally unsuitable to be a property developer." "What qualifications do I need?" asked the Wabbit. "Some money and a brass neck." Lapinette had her paws of her hips. "I can get you these," said the Magic Wand. "Goodbye, Wand!" retorted Lapinette. Nothing happened because she hadn't said the password. "Brat draoidheachd," Wabbit did it for her. "Make yourself scarce." The wand popped out of existence.
 

5. The Wabbit and the Nine Moons

The Wabbit landed first. He was by a church on a hill under a large number of moons. He counted them. Seven - with two more hiding he reckoned. Then he saw Lapinette come tumbling from the sky. He was still attached to the wand, and he lifted it. They became two and so did Lapinette. "Help!" cried the Lapinettes. He put all the effort he could into the wands and it worked. Stars flashed and they waved. One Lapinette came floating in to land. The other faded away. He was left with one wand and one Lapinette. She touched down on the steps and breathed a sigh of relief. "What are all these moons?" The Wabbit tapped his wand. "Something that this conjured up."  "I don't like them," yelled Lapinette. "Get rid of them." The Wabbit waved his wand and the moons vanished. Except for the two hidden behind the church. They emerged, flashed like beacons - and began to circle. The Wabbit looked at the sky. "The sun is coming up. We only have to wait." The Wabbit and Lapinette sat on the steps with the magic wand. "Try the wand again," suggested Lapinette. The Wabbit waved the wand. A wind sprang up. Leaves rustled. Lapinette gripped her frock. The wind passed. The Church was gone. Moons were gone. All that remained were the magic wand, the dawn and two rabbits ...

4. The Wabbit and the Desert Sands

The magic wand waved and bent in half. There was a flash. The Wabbit and Lapinette found themselves in scary, arid landscape. Trees were dried up hulks. Desert sands stretched for kilometres. An artificial sun beat down. And it was hot. Really hot. "Eeek," yelled Lapinette, "We're back to front." The Wabbit looked down. All the writing on his fur was reversed. He looked up and smiled a grim smile. "There's something familiar about that sun." He looked behind him. "And there's the tree they hung Tom Sawyer." Lapinette growled, "Tom Dooley." The Wabbit paid little attention. "This all the fault of that wand." Lapinette didn't like the landscape. "I'm hot and bothered and I'm not keen on this place." The Wabbit shrugged. He was curious and looked at the wand. Lapinette said the magic passwords. Nothing happened. "You haven't got the accent," said the Wabbit. He said the magic phrase, Brat draoidheachd. The wand stiffened to attention. It was straight as a die. "Wand. Get us out of this place." A wind sprung up. Wood snapped. Sand and twigs blew into every crevice. Lapinette gripped the Wabbit's fur and held on tight as they were swept into the air. She shrieked at the Wabbit. "You didn't tell it where you wanted to go." But her words were snatched by the wind and lost in the sand. Wand and all, they disappeared. 

Background by Art Tower . Sun by Open Clip Art Vectors

3. The Wabbit and the Wayward Wand

The Wabbit headed down Via Gregorio VII with his magic wand under his arm. He looked around. "Maybe I could conjure up a bus?" he thought. A young woman flew up the road, clutching a phone. He looked at his wand. "Maybe I magicked her, but I didn't use my password," he murmured. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned. "What exactly are you doing, Wabbit?" It was Lapinette and she looked annoyed. "Did you do something with that wand? Some magic trick on that young woman." The Wabbit was shamefaced. "I did not," he said. "I wanted a bus." Lapinette regarded him with disbelief. "It looked like a trick. Anyway, you should hop. It's good exercise for you." The Wabbit tapped the phone. "This is a new hobby." They hopped down the road together. "Shouldn't you do something with playing cards?" The Wabbit knew Lapinette was trying to be helpful, but he just wasn't interested in cards. "I'd thought about cutting people in half." Lapinette's fur stood on end. "I forbid it," she exclaimed, "Bad things would happen." They continued past the furniture shop. "The stars at the toy shop said the wand would be fine," said the Wabbit. "I've even got a password. I'm only allowed to use it for magic." Lapinette smiled. "What's the password?" Just before she spoke, Lapinette had a premonition that this wasn't something she should ask. "Brat draoidheachd." The Wabbit said the magic words without thinking. The wand sprang into action. It flew from the Wabbit's grasp and waved itself over their heads ...