2. The Wabbit and the Magic Wand

The Wabbit stood outside a toy shop he knew. In his paw he held a magic wand he'd purchased inside. The assistant had told him he needed no instructions, he was just to wave it. It was self-explanatory she told him. The Wabbit was sceptical but he shrugged. He went outside and waved it at the window. A shot rang out. The window shattered. Planetary devices of various kinds appeared in great number. The Wabbit grew exasperated, but a star with a smiley face appeared and spoke. "I am the instructions for the Mk 2 Magic Wanderiser. Thank you for your purchase. How may I help you today?" The Wabbit felt a bit irritated but he bore with it. "I want to learn magic." There was a long pause. "Please tap the window twice and say your magic word." The Wabbit wanted to comply but he'd never been given his magic word. The stars began to whirl. "Please say your magic word or phrase!" The smiley star was insistent. The Wabbit shrugged. "Sim sala bim." It was the best he could do at short notice. But the smiley star continued. "That magic phrase has been taken." The Wabbit thought. "Brat draoidheachd," he uttered. There was another pause. "I am registering your magic phrase. Only use it for magic." The stars dimmed and faded away. Clutching his wand, the Wabbit hopped towards the metro. "I need a drink," he thought. He remembered his magic phrase and repeated it. A bar appeared in front of him. "It works," he murmured.

1.The Wabbit and his Magic Day Off

The Wabbit was having a day off. It was a Tuesday, and it was quiet. He sauntered down the road and stopped at a local bar. Having quenched his thirst with a Prosseco and munched a salad sandwich, he proceeded on his way. The day was fine. It was a mite chilly but there was plenty of light. So he smiled and started thinking. His friends all said he was far too serious. They told him he needed a hobby. The Wabbit grinned to himself. His work was his hobby. Who needed anything else? He considered further. He would require kit - a wand for example. He saw himself waving it around and saying magic words. He practiced. "Hocus pocus, let's get some focus." He shook his head. Not quite right, but he had started. Sawing people in half was an option, but supposing they wouldn't go back together. People might complain about being severed in half. He sniggered. Then he thought about joining a club, but clubs weren't for him. Full of geeks. What about cards? That one was easy. He'd speak to Wabsworth. He knew lots of card tricks. On the other paw, Wabsworth's tricks were real and had a way of biting you back. He could remember every number ever invented and then some more of his own. Nope. He'd do it on his own or not at all. Then the Wabbit thought of something. He'd buy a book and study it. No-one would know he had a hobby. Concealment - that was his first trick. 

The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè

The team arranged to meet at Palombini's famous Caffè in EUR. As the Wabbit looked around, he noticed Lapinette approaching from his left. Wabsworth crept up behind her and touched her shoulder with his paw. She shot in the air. "Wabsworth!" she yelled, "Don't do that, you might have got shot." Wabsworth smiled and shrugged. Being an android it was not a matter of signicicant importance. His fur repelled bullets, but he knew what she meant. "Never mind all this," said the Wabbit. "What was that for a sort of adventure we just had?" Skratch arrived from the tables to the Wabbit's right. "That is more properly my line," he said. "Answer!" yelled Lapinette. Skratch leaned back. "It is a cut above the usual story where carnivorous plants aim to rip us stem to stern." Wabsworth also leaned back. "It was amusing enough." Lapinette giggled. "Shall we talk of the Anthropocene?" "No," replied the Wabbit, "I'm fed up with it." Lapinette continued anyway. "This period is marked by increasing environmental change. So we move from technological to ecological concerns." Skratch laughed. "That's very goody-goody". "Not at all," said Lapinette, "We lend aesthetic consideration to objects that pervade our renewed experience of the Anthropocene. That is the future." The Wabbit grinned. "What's the future in standing outside the caffe? It's dwarfing our timescale." "I'm buying the drinks," said Skratch. "Now that's a change of timescale!" laughed the Wabbit.

7. The Wabbit in the Leafy Atrium.

Inside the building, - the Casa Madre dei Mutilati di Guerra - the team and the cacti were deep in discussion. The Wabbit and Wabsworth were having a principled disagreement about habitats - but looked happy enough. Lapinette was delighted. The cacti clicked their assent. The plants had assembled themself in the atrium in a tasteful manner. Fruit hung from the ceiling. Butterflies emerged, fluttering around in a zig-zag path. Delightful fragrances filled the air. "I'm not certain they should be here, but it does look and smell nice," commented Wabsworth. "I'm very happy there was no conflict," said Lapinette. "All's well that ends well," nodded the Wabbit. "Whate'er the course, the end is the renown," murmured Lapinette. "Everyone's happy except the landlords," commented Wabsworth. The Wabbit shrugged. "They'll love it and leave it, I'm certain. They usually do." Lapinette wasn't so certain of that. "I'll ask Mr Singh to pop in to give horticultural assistance. Watering. Feeding. Weeding." They turned to go, but the Wabbit was uncertain. "How do we get out? That door or that door?" Lapinette was already pirouetting through an exit. "A chance to explore an interesting building!" They prowled the upper floors and looked at statues. "I never knew this was here," said the Wabbit. "Rome is always surprising," commented Wabsworth. "Maybe there's a tea room," said the Wabbit. "Maybe there's a bar," smiled Wabsworth.

6. Lapinette and the Other Entrance

Lapinette took the cacti in the back door so that they could take the plants by surprise. But it was Lapinette who was surprised. "This is like a war memorial for those injured in an old war." The cacti were equally taken aback. "Surely even our errant cousins would never invade such a place. It must be a mistake." Another cactus spoke. "Lead us to the escapees and we'll persuade them of their error. Get them into line, so to speak." But Lapinette knew that the Wabbit had a plan. "Rest easy cacti. Mr Singh assured me you could do the job with the utter diplomacy." The cactus with the jolly smile grinned broadly. "There is the question of renumeration of course. But we'll leave that until later." Lapinette spoke in her sweetest voice. "I've bought you a premium solution of potassium, nitrogen and phosphorous. I got it from Mr Singh." The cacti appeared incredibly pleased and made rustling sounds. Without warning the door creaked open, although there was no-one there. "Our signal to advance," whispered Lapinette. The door gave an ominous creak. The cacti swayed forward and moved towards the entrance. "Look sharp my brothers," said the grinning cactus. His spikes bristled. "We'll round 'em up and knock 'em dead." Then they yelled together. "Spike, spike, spike, spike." Lapinette pulled her gardening gloves on tighter.

5. Lapinette and the Deserted Street

Lapinette was tasked with finding a solution to the plant problem and she knew she might find it here. It wasn't far and even though evening had come round again, she and Susan looked carefully at all the shops. She knew there was a plant shop here, she'd seen it. But where was it? "Keep looking Susan!" Susan dipped her wings and executed a loop the loop. "Steady on there, Susan," squealed Lapinette, "I nearly lost the radio." Susan banked. "I think I see the shop on the other side of the road." Susan swept up and down. "Does it have stacks of cat grass in front." Lapinette clung on tight. "That's the one!" Susan hung on a wing tip. "Not much parking." Lapinette's teeth were chattering. "Just land. People will get out the way." Susan dodged into the central reservation, causing a bus and two taxis to swerve. Several police cars escorting a minor politician took off in fright towards the airport. "Looks like they built this for us," laughed Susan, "But won't we get a ticket?" Lapinette bounded towards Mr Singh's plant emporium. She yelled back. "Don't worry, no-one cares!" Susan tilted onto one wing to allow a screeching ambulance space to pass. It wailed on its way. She heard Lapinette explaining the dilemma to Mr Singh and watched her transport a series of succulents and cactuses on board. "Take off Susan," yelled Lapinette, "before these plants molest me." Susan flew towards the Vatican. "Are they giving you the needle?"

4. The Wabbit and the Plant Headquarters

They knew the plants had to have an HQ and there it was. They crept stealthily in to a building near the castle. Plants stood around in silence. "Do all right for themselves," commented the Wabbit. They pulled out their edged weapons and crept downstairs. Lapinette took the lead and when she encountered a plant-based chair she stuck her weapon into the foliage. There was a small squeak. "It speaks," she said with sarcasm. Wabsworth looked at the Wabbit. "Your ears have grown!" The Wabbit grimaced. "It's all the excitement." He tried to retract them, but they continued to grow. "Must be environmental." He glanced at a sign above a door and shuddered. "They have a meeting room!" yelled Lapinette. The plants cowered back. "They don't seem to like sudden noises," said Wabsworth. "You don't suppose they have a leader?" asked Lapinette. A voice squeaked in a high frequency language they didn't understand. "It's not in my universal translator database," groaned Wabsworth, "I think we have to add it." The Wabbit didn't sound cheerful about that. "Any ideas, Lap?" Lapinette waved her edged weapon. "They transmit biochemical and electrical signals. And volatile organic compounds." The Wabbits enlarged ears flapped. "Yes, I can understand them. They're saying 'don't hurt us'."  He made a series of unintelligible high pitched sounds. Wabsworth made calculations. He joined in the conversation and received a reply. He shook his head. "Unbeleafable!"

3. The Wabbit and the Sticky Tendrils

Susan spotted the Wabbit and Lapinette in one of the many lanes in the artisan district and thought it best to drop Lapinette there and then. Lapinette found herself ejected onto the cobbles. "Eeeek," she yelled. Wabsworth and the Wabbit stared blankly. There were flowers and plants everywhere. "Glad you could drop in!" said the Wabbit. Lapinette waved her paws. "These plants are all over the place, they're taking over!" The Wabbit looked down aghast. "I thought it was a new initiative by the Mayor. You know, for the pilgrims." He brushed frantically at his fur. But the plants were hard to shift. Wabsworth did the same. "I've got some systemic weedkiller in my fur. It might do the trick." But there was no way to detach from the sticky tendrils. Passers-by made their way along the lane but were quickly overcome by sticky green weeds. They all looked up. Susan was hovering overhead. "Can she pull us free?" yelled the Wabbit. "I don't think so," said Lapinette, "She had difficulties earlier." The Wabbit began frantically search his coat. "I have a pair of secateurs I got in a market." As the Wabbit fiddled around, Lapinette started to yank him away. By this time Wabsworth was able to free himself - and he joined in. Together they pulled and pulled, until with a sound like a suction cup the Wabbit managed to detach himself. "Who said flowers were delicate?" he moaned. "The flower people?" retorted Lapinette.

2. Lapinette and the Dangerous Flowers

It was New Year and Lapinette was celebrating her birthday. An unusual flight with Susan the Biplane had been promised - and she decided to accept the offer. They flew high over Rome and descended on Monte Mario to take in the view. But as they approached, strange plants reached out to grasp the undercarriage. With a burst of throttle, Susan shook them off. Lapinette looked back down. "They're like apple blossom. And this isn't spring." Susan wheeled round. "And they're not usually as tenacious. These grip like crocodiles." Lapinette coaxed Susan in the direction of HQ. "Better report in." Susan gave a giggle. "I doubt anyone will be there. I'll bet they're all shopping in the sales." Lapinette laughed. "Including the Wabbit and Wabsworth. They're after another camera lens." Susan responded with a cackle. "Like they need one." The plane shook. "More plants!" yelled Susan. She headed off above the Tiber, figuring they'd be less plants. But the city was alive with apple blossom. It twisted round towers and covered buildings. Tendrils hung from the Colosseum and blossom covered the Circus Maximus. "At least nothing is fruiting." Lapinette's aversion to fruit was well known. "I wouldn't say that!" said Susan. "I can see a giant orange." She veered in the direction of one of the main shopping streets. "It looks clear over there." Lapinette nodded. "Find a place to land." She waited. Then she spotted tendrils making their way across Via Paula bus station. One bus was completely full of plants. "Susan. On the other paw, land anywhere you like!"