5. Wabsworth and the Wabbit's Project

The Wabbit and Lapinette tracked Wabsworth down to Campo de' Fiori. He'd been strolling amongst the market stalls but hadn't bought anything. He was delighted to see the Wabbit and even more delighted to find he'd been brought a project. He grabbed the camera. "We can't open it and .." said the Wabbit. With a flick of his wrist, Wabsworth opened the casing. It seemed incomplete but the rudiments of a movie camera were inside. "What's the problem?" he ventured. Lapinette jumped up and down. "When we look through the viewfinder, we can see skeletrons, moving around alive like you or me." Wabsworth examined it. "Like that skeleton behind us." Lapinette and the Wabbit looked behind but could see nothing. They shook their heads. "You can see one?" asked Lapinette. "Yes, replied Wabsworth, "I have superior senses to you." The skeleton rolled back his head and roared with laughter. "I heard that," said Lapinette. "So did I" The Wabbit nodded with vigour. "It's a hologram," grinned Wabsworth. "This unusual camera has been adapted to project holographically. With a sense of humour." He flicked a switch and Lapinette and the Wabbit could see the skeleton. He flicked the switch the other way. The skeleton disappeared entirely. But so did the Wabbit. Wabsworth gave the camera a shake. The Wabbit reappeared. "Intermittent fault," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit groped his fur to see if he was really back. "I don't believe it!"

4. The Wabbit and the Skeleton Chair

"Let me have the camera," said Lapinette. She looked through the viewfinder and there were three skeletons. They seemed to be window shopping. "Skeletrons all right," she murmured. The Wabbit could see nothing, only an old chair. "I can see an old chair with the springs sticking out." Lapinette laughed. "So can I." The Wabbit grabbed the camera. Now he could see three skeletons. He handed it back with a grimace. "Three ladies and a man," said Lapinette. "How can you possibly tell?" asked the Wabbit. "Pelvis and the head," replied Lapinette. She was a bit of an archaeologist in her spare time and had seen more than a few ancient bones. "I suppose the ladies are window shopping," said the Wabbit. "Oh," said Lapinette, "How can you tell?" "Just a hunch," smiled the Wabbit. Lapinette pondered. "I suppose the camera sees different things." "In time and space," said the Wabbit. Lapinette snorted. She usually knew better than to argue with the Wabbit, but she risked it. "Not on that chair they didn't." "Maybe they arrived on it," smirked the Wabbit. "They wouldn't have the guts for it," quipped Lapinette. "I suppose the chair's waiting to be recovered," said the Wabbit weakly. "That's enough of that," groaned Lapinette, "so what are we going to do?" The Wabbit thought. "We're going to go to Wabsworth, open the camera and take it apart." Lapinette groaned again. "With a skeleton key." 

3. The Wabbit and the old Movie Camera

Via Giulia warmed up under a cloudy sky as Lapinette and the Wabbit tumbled out of the church junk shop. They were clutching an old movie camera like treasure. The Wabbit moved the viewfinder to his eye and squinted. "Needs work," he said. "What's that lens at the top," asked Lapinette. "It appears to be a light meter," replied the Wabbit. He knew the camera was eight millimetre but he'd never seen one quite like this. He moved it into the orange light from a hotel's Christmas decorations. "I think it used double 8mm. After exposure it would be split at the processors. It doubled the length." Lapinette shrugged. "What lab would you take it to?" The Wabbit gave a wry laugh."I rather doubt there are any. This camera's day is long gone. I'll take it to Wabsworth." Something flickered in the viewfinder. The Wabbit gasped. "That's strange." He looked again. "People look like skeletons. They're moving around. They look bad to the bone." Lapinette shrieked. "Skeletrons?" He reexamined the camera. It whirred. "That's funny. There was no film inside." He tried to open the compartment, but it was stuck fast. "Maybe there's a hare in the gate?" suggested Lapinette. "Very funny," grunted the Wabbit. "Let me see for a second." Lapinette grabbed the camera and looked through the viewfinder. "Aaagh! I don't like the look of this!" she squealed.

2. The Wabbit and the Charity Shop

Inside the doors was a warm and inviting space. It was a charity shop run by the church and there was every chance he might find an unobtainable item. He grinned with pleasure. His eyes flickered over the artifacts. There were objects of every possible description, and they seemed in no particular order. The Wabbit rubbed his paws together in glee. He was glancing around when he heard a noise. With a shriek, Lapinette jumped out from behind a giant vase. The Wabbit placed his paw on his heart in fake surprise. "I thought you were my assailant. Good thing I didn't shoot you!" Lapinette smiled. "My Wabbit. Is someone after you?" The Wabbit balanced between crockery. "Not in the Holy Charity Shop, I hope." Lapinette went to the door and looked outside. "Not a soul. Must have been your imagination." The Wabbit knew his imagination didn't need any help. He looked at the goods. "See anything that takes your fancy?" "Yes," laughed Lapinette. "As it happens, I saw a pile of ancient cameras." The Wabbit paid little attention, but it was a ruse. "Over there," she pointed. The Wabbit was an old hand at markets and thought if he showed too much interest, the price would go up. "Where?" he asked. "There," said Lapinette. "Oh, these old things." The Wabbit looked disinterested but he wandered over for a look. His eyes lit up and his paw stretched out ...

1. The Wabbit and a Hazardous Hop

The Wabbit wasn't strolling and he wasn't hopping. He was stomping. His feet hit Via Giulia's cobbles with each step. He was convinced he was being followed, and he wanted to let the follower know he was being followed. It was a bit hard on the feet. The Wabbit ignored it. He felt in his fur for his automatic. It was reassuring even if he didn't use it. He'd always liked Via Giulia, but tonight he felt an air of menace. Perhaps it was just damp in the air from an unexpected shower. He had a loose arrangement to meet Lapinette over by Campo de' Fiori - maybe for the cinema, maybe a prosecco. But he knew Lapinette liked Via Giulia so she might pass this way. A boot scraped on the cobbles. He looked behind him. There wasn't much of a sidewalk and loose cobbles made his passage hazardous. He cursed the slow rate of progress on the road and hopped across a deep pothole, scattering a few cobbles. There was that noise again. It wasn't really a footstep, more of a scraping or a grating. He noticed a doorway to a church he knew and decided to make a visit. At the very least he might throw off his tail. He smiled at his pun and made for the door. The noises died away. The thought of meeting Lapinette cheered him up, so he grinned and pushed his way through the heavy swing door.

The Wabbit's Famous Adventure Caffè

They met before the Adventure Caffè. Each had told the other they were going to get the whisky for St Andrew's Day. Each went separately to Doreca because they had the best stock of malt whisky in town. So they met outside by surprise. Lapinette hung on the door. "What kind of whisky would you like?" The Wabbit laughed. "Laphraoig with extra peat." They Wabbit would drink pure unadulterated peat if he could. Wabsworth was an android and expected to come up with something unusual."Torabhaig please, for the discerning android." Lapinette was expected to make an exciting choice but plumped for tradition - with Lagavulin. "A tasty and invigorating experience," she trilled. Skratch made an interesting geo-political choice. "Auchentoshan, a lowland malt with an Irish heritage." He sniffed as if he could already smell it. "Lapinette, off you go," said the Wabbit. "Put it all on the Department's expenses account." Wabsworth was dubious. "Will they authorise that?" The Wabbit grinned. "I'll sign it through as cultural spending." They all laughed. "OK, Skratch," said Lapinette. "What was that for a sort of adventure we just had?" Skratch meaowed. "It's a case of the parts and the whole." Lapinette swung on the door. "Yes, it has a seamless unity which merged with its own construction." Wabsworth looked serious. "In the tradition of the Moebius Strip?" The Wabbit felt a joke coming on. "Let's go down to the Strip, see what Caffè mischief we can rustle up."