7. The Wabbit and the Green Death Skull.

The rest of the team arrived just as a second explosion blew Wabsworth off his feet. Wabsworth reeled around. All his circuits were in danger of being fried. "It's the, it's the.." The words wouldn't come. Lapinette shot across the courtyard. The Wabbit came birling down the stairs. Tipsy knew what was going on and she dived for the radio. "He must have sent something on their frequency." Wabsworth tried to explain but he was still in a daze. Clouds swirled around them and from the midst a skull emerged and bore down. Tipsy yelled, "Death skull! Death skull!" Lapinette tried to grab the radio. In a trice both she and Tipsy had it. They looked at each other and at the radio. But the Wabbit had other ideas. He wrested it away and threw it over a wall. The boom shattered windows for a block. Green fumes were everywhere. The skull turned to look at the Wabbit. "Next time," he hissed, "you're mine." Then he faded. "Phew," breathed the Wabbit. He leaned against the wall and turned to Wabsworth. "Are you all right?" Wabsworth ran a diagnostic. "All appears to be optimal." Lapinette spoke to Tipsy. "How did you know?" Tipsy grinned. "I saw it in the movies. It represents death and power. Also it looked mean." The Wabbit breathed a sigh of relief. "But what's it got to do with the Agents of Rabit?" Lapinette shook her head. "We're going to find out. They haven't finished yet." 

[Skull by Squarefrog]

6. Wabsworth and the Agents' Radio

Wabsworth crouched in a corner. Two Agents were doing something in one of the workshops, but it was hard to see what it was. He heard them talking. "This will fix him," said one. "For once and for all," said the other. "It will be the best explosive know to rabbits!" One of them laughed. Wabsworth risked taking a look. He could see one Agent heating liquid in a clay pot. "Just do enough and they'll be ready for delivery." The other agent guffawed. "They'll all be scoffing, him and his friends - and then .." "Kaboom!" said the other. Wabsworth thought of a cunning plan. He'd noticed a radio - a walkie talkie - lying on a wooden bench. It was a repellent shade of yellow and he knew it must belong to the Agents. So he dialed through a number of frequencies. He murmured to himself. "I think this is the right one." He made an attempt and then quickly aborted. It crackled briefly, then cut off. "I thought I told you to switch that off." The Agent in charge was enraged. "It could blow us all to Kingdom Come!" The other agent dived for the radio, but Wabsworth was calling again. Sparks flew from their walkie talkie and reached the strange liquid brewing in the clay pot. Wabsworth was already hopping down the stairs when he heard the explosion. It was a slow build. Little noise at first, then a powerful shock wave knocked him down the rest of the steps. He dusted himself off and wondered whether the Wabbit would be annoyed. He shrugged and said to himself. "Many a slip between pot and lip."

5. Wabsworth and the Old Shop Window

Wabsworth was told to wait and until he heard otherwise that's what he had intended to do. He was an android copy of the Wabbit - but since that copy was made, he'd introduced a number of subroutines that were quite unlike the Wabbit's character. He waited, but he wouldn't wait indefinitely. The alleyway got boring after a while. The boredom routine was a Wabbit original and Wabsworth stamped a foot. It was a medieval street and that was enough to interest him for about half an hour. So he walked up and down looking from side to side. It was then that he noticed an old shop with dirty windows. With one of his paws, he rubbed dust away from a pane and squinted inside. It was an old pottery workshop and various artefacts were strewn across tables in an untidy fashion. That sparked his interest. He'd long been attracted to spinning a potter's wheel, whereas the Wabbit couldn't be bothered. But as he gazed, a sudden movement caught his eye. In the corner of the workshop two Agents of Rabit crept around. They moved stealthily. One was carrying a plate with a number stamped onto the surface, treating it with some care. The other prodded his back making him stumble. "Don't drop it you fool!" Wabsworth grinned. "Hello, hello," he murmured. The Agents seemed unaware of his presence. He moved towards a door and, without making a sound, held it ajar and sidestepped through the space. The two Agents headed up a stairway and Wabsworth followed ... 

4. The Wabbit and the Graffiti on the Wall

Picking up Tipsy at the station, they all made their way to King of Rome by underground. They pretended the Lion of Judah was a large dog and no-one took any notice. Lapinette was anxious to get where she was going, and she forged ahead. But the Lion stopped to look at Graffiti on the walls. "It looks like Aramaic," he said. "It a Kingly welcome from the King of Rome to the King of Judah." Tipsy glanced at it. "Who's Denise?" she asked. "Queen of Sheba," answered Lapinette, who was anxious to press on to whatever destination she had in mind. "She has my ring," said the Lion. "Actually, Bob Marley has it now," announced the Wabbit. "So it's six feet under," announced Tipsy. "It's pretty but it's only a ring," said the Lion. He turned and padded up the street. Tipsy jogged along on his back, quiet for once, respectful even. She leant down to his mane and whispered. "What's all this about the Lion and the Lamb?" The Lion let out an enormous bellow that turned the heads of ordinary Romans in the street. "I am both. As confirmed in Revelations." The Wabbit paused and spoke into his radio. "Exodus." It was the code for the troops to gather. The radio crackled with confirmations. The Wabbit grinned. "Just time for a Christmas drink. There's a bar near here that sells Whitbread." Tipsy cheered and cheered. The Lion of Judah stopped. "My eyes shall be red with wine!" Lapinette gave in. "Just the one then."

3. The Wabbit and The Lion of Judah

Lapinette and the Wabbit landed to look at the ears, but they were in for several surprises. In a bleak windswept place, there was a lion and a deep cave. The cave was shaped like a lion and looked like it might swallow anyone who entered. A lion with flashing eyes stood guard outside the cave. "I am the Lion of Judah," said the Lion, "And this is my cave, in which I keep the seven seals." The Wabbit gently touched the lion's tail and pointed to the ears. "What about the ears?" The Lion turned and glared at the Wabbit. "These are the ears of the strange creatures who haunt me. I munch them off that they may not hear the coming." Lapinette hopped back. "That's harsh but fair," she said. "Yes, said the Lion, "and they're rather savoury." Lapinette shuddered, but the Wabbit was already thinking about recruiting him. "Would you consider a side mission?" The Lion of Judah shook his head so much his crown was in danger of falling off. "But you retreat before nothing," said the Wabbit. "You're right," nodded the Lion. "Then I propose you come with us," said the Wabbit, "We'll get these Sons of Satan together." "The Agents are the Sons of Satan?" queried Lapinette. "I promoted them," replied the Wabbit. The Lion looked around. "What about my Lion's cave?" The Wabbit fished for his radio. "I'll place an armed guard on it. No-one will get the seals." The radio crackled as the Wabbit issued orders to his 400 Rabbits. "Here comes the King," muttered the Lion.

2. The Wabbit and the Noisy Pick up

The Wabbit didn't really know Lapinette was on her way, but he figured it out. Anyway he could hear the engines of Susan the Biplane coming for a long way off. He climbed to the top of a tower and jumped onto Susan's wing. "We keep doing this," smiled Lapinette. "We must like it," replied the Wabbit. "When you've quite finished," said Susan, I'd appreciate directions." The Wabbit clambered aboard. "Just fly round and keep a look out for the Agents of Rabit. You can tell them by their ears." Susan banked steeply and circled. Her engines roared. "I didn't say make them deaf," said the Wabbit. It was a pleasant day. The sky was blue. The odd cloud scuffed across the it. "Nice spot," said Lapinette. The Wabbit grinned. "Plenty of nice spots round here." They sped across the horizon. "What are you expecting?" said Lapinette. The Wabbit wrinkled his nose. "I heard word that they planned a surprise attack." Susan's engine growled. "They always surprise us at Christmas!" The Wabbit shrugged. "They're creatures of habit." He looked down. "I saw one there." Lapinette looked too. "No it's just a pair of hedge clippers." Susan dived towards the object. "You can't be too careful." Lapinette laughed. "Why beat about the bush?" As they got closer, the hedge clippers swam into focus. They could see they weren't clippers but pairs of detached ears. Lots of them. "Ear ear," said the Wabbit. Susan's engines growled again. "I'd better land before there are any more bad jokes." "Don't worry," said the Wabbit, "they can't hear us."

1. The Wabbit and his Christmas Orders

The Wabbit ambled through a village in Vescia. He liked it there because it was abandoned and there was a story he'd heard from locals. Years before and weakened by earthquakes, the village started to crumble and collapse. Yet the people who lived there refused to leave - despite much encouragement and inducements. So the authorities took an unusual decision. They decided to bomb the village. The Wabbit imagined planes coming in and he shook as he visualised bomb doors opening to deliver the payload. He shook his head. He would have used his fabulous Wabtech engineering to fashion a support structure. Then he thought of the cost. He plucked his radio from his fur. "Wabbit to base, come in Lapinette." The radio crackled for rather longer than expected. "Lapinette. Receiving you loud and clear. What's your 20?" The Wabbit grinned. "I'm somewhere in Vescia." He liked to be mysterious. The radio hissed again. "Do bring back some nice cheese." The Wabbit grinned again. "Wilco. I'm really calling to instruct the team to head to Rome." Lapinette's laughter tingled across the ether. "They're already here, Wabbit." The Wabbit grunted. "Including your personal guard?" "Tipsy is exploring new stores," replied Lapinette. The Wabbit knew exactly the shop Tipsy was exploring. "The World of Drink?" The radio hissed and crackled. The Wabbit spoke again. "I hear the Agents of Rabit have a paw hold here, but I've seen neither hide nor hare of them." Lapinette had little tolerance for the Wabbit's bad jokes. Her shrug was audible, even over the radio. "Lapinette out."