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Monday, July 29, 2019
The Wabbit at his Adventure Caffè
The Wabbit leaned on a stacked chair and rapped on the table. "We're too early." Lapinette jumped in the air and flung her paws wide. "I think it's the caffè that's too late." Wabsworth arrived and gave them a friendly wave. "This place never opens on time. I usually go across the road." The Wabbit scowled. "But that's the place you can never get served." Lapinette laughed and laughed and jumped on the table. Then she pirouetted around and tapped like Ginger Rogers. "Let's all go to the caffè at the corner where it's difficult to pay." The Wabbit turned round to watch Skratch the Cat arrive. Skratch purred loudly. "Interesting adventure you just had, Wabbit!" The Wabbit unstacked a chair and sat down to listen. "I think it was a space western," said Wabsworth. Skratch shook his head. "You can't depend on iconography alone. You may as well rattle some armour and call it Lancelot." Lapinette jumped from the table. "It was dark and glum with nothing to relieve the gloom." The Wabbit grinned widely. "We merely transposed the themes of the existential novel. We went aimlessly around without satisfaction." Lapinette looked around at the caffè. "Maybe this is an existential establishment." "What's an existential drink like?" asked Wabsworth. "Nothing much in it," answered Skratch.
Friday, July 26, 2019
10. The Wabbit and the Stowaway Vole
The Wabbit and Lapinette made a deal with the Vole and they departed with the Agents' craft in tow. But as they broke free from the planet's atmosphere they felt the towline tug sharply. Then it happened again until finally it snapped. "What gives?" said the Wabbit. Lapinette watched the towline dangling in space and she pointed. "It was perfectly secure," groaned the Wabbit. "The rope was. But look!" Lapinette pointed to the enemy craft's porthole. The vole stared out with a toothy grin and he waved. Gradually the craft picked up speed and disappeared behind a nearby planet. The Wabbit was furious. "What about the communications equipment?" Lapinette shrugged. "I disabled everything." The Wabbit struck a paw against the steering wheel. "Have a care, Commander," said Turbina, "That's new from the motor accessories shop in Via Garibaldi." The Wabbit's fur steamed and he stared at Lapinette. "How did you know?" Lapinette grinned a very wide grin indeed and kissed the air. "Never ever trust a vole. Especially one that vole-unteers." The Wabbit disregarded this and looked into space. "Where's he going?" "He's going nowhere," laughed Lapinette, "He'll run out of fuel soon." The Wabbit started to laugh. His shoulders heaved and his side split and he couldn't stop. "What's so funny?" said Lapinette. The Wabbit gave a last chuckle. "The Vole Patrol will pick him up."
Thursday, July 25, 2019
9. The Wabbit and the Alley Altercation
Monday, July 22, 2019
8. The Wabbit and the Agent's Vessel
It wasn't hard to find the Agent's mother ship. The Wabbit and Lapinette followed their noses, mostly because the acrid fumes that belched from the craft were smelly indeed. The craft lurched from the ground. They pulled out their automatics. The spaceship coughed and wheezed and finally settled back down. They heard curses from inside. "I told you it needed a service!" yelled an Agent. "It was working this morning," came a reply. The Wabbit gestured to Lapinette. "I'm uncertain why we bothered. We could leave them to blow themselves up." Lapinette giggled and tucked her automatic back in her frock. "Cut out the middle rabbit?" Suddenly the vessel burst into life - and for a few seconds it flew in the air. But it just as quickly crashed down again. Smoke billowed from the hull. They heard shouting and a few curses. The Agents tried again. This time there was less smoke and the mother ship floated about two metres high. Lapinette's ears swivelled to hear any information. "OK," said an Agent, "fly it back to where the Wabbit and his gang hang out." But the vessel wouldn't go any higher. It lurched into the distance, circumnavigating rocks and trees and occasionally bumping on the ground. "I think we'll head them off at the pass," chortled the Wabbit.
Friday, July 19, 2019
7. The Wabbit and the Half Kaboom
Thursday, July 18, 2019
6. The Wabbit and the Vole's Goal
Monday, July 15, 2019
5. The Wabbit and the Interrupted Circuit
The rain gave way to steamy night. Under heavy clouds, the vole led Turbina to what looked like a roughly wired street lamp. "This is what these rabbits erected," he said. The Wabbit climbed the pole and subjected the circuit to an interminable series of tests. "Well?" asked Lapinette. "It's not a lamp, it's a transmitter," said the Wabbit, "and it's a lot more powerful than it looks." Without warning, the array became hot and started to hum. "Yow!" said the Wabbit, "that made my fur tingle." "Mmmm. Let's see," said Lapinette. She fished under her frock and brought out an expandable pole. "Are you going to poke it?" asked the vole. "When in doubt, burn it out," said Lapinette. She poked the array with the pole. Nothing happened. She prodded all around with no results. "Poke it in the middle," said the Vole. Lapinette poked it viciously. There was a flash and a crackle and something arced. Sparks flew. The humming stopped. "That'll keep them busy for a while," laughed the Wabbit. Lapinette folded the pole and jumped to the ground, followed by the vole. Slivers of wood flew around as the Wabbit slid down. "Now I'll take you to their lair," said the vole. "They have a lair?" smiled the Wabbit. "Doesn't everyone?" grinned the vole.
Friday, July 12, 2019
4. The Wabbit, Lapinette and the Vole
[Vole graphic: Courtesy of Mikhail Kolesnikov and Marina Korobchenko.]
Wednesday, July 10, 2019
3. The Wabbit and Lapinette Undercover
Planet OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb was always freezing but the bar was one of the warmest in the galaxy. Leaving Turbina in a rocky rocket park, they stole inside and waited. The Agent on the bar stool got steadily drunker - and the drunker he became, the more he talked. "We got them this time and I'll get a hefty bonus when we do." The Agent's voice was thick and slurred. Lapinette lurched against the bar and pretended to down cocktails. The Wabbit staggered up and down, reciting poetry and asking for money. Occasionally he burped. The bar belonged to their friend, the Alien Pilot. Information-gathering was his sideline, so all they had to do was listen as he pumped the Agent dry. "What a brilliant plan. Just brilliant." He offered the Agent another drink. "On the house for you and all you Agents on ... ?" The Agent grinned as he slumped against the bar. ".. the Planet of the Voles." The Alien Pilot pushed another glass in the Agent's direction." "Sounds terrific." The Agent smirked. "We have cutting edge reconnaissance equipment." "Squipment is exshpenshive," slurred the Wabbit. "Get that fart smellow another dwink," said Lapinette. The Agent laughed and drank and told the whole bar where the funds came from. He rocked on his bar stool and while he rambled on, Lapinette and the Wabbit crept away. Turbina set course. And when she took off for the Planet of the Voles, the roar of her turbines rattled every glass in every bar on the planet. The Agent suddenly stiffened. "What's that?" "Mice?" shrugged the Pilot.
Monday, July 08, 2019
2. The Wabbit and the Space to Talk
Turbina the Jet Car sailed up a ramp near Lingotto and just kept going. Lapinette twisted the steering wheel and made vrooming noises. "It's just for effect," she laughed. Turbina shot through a layer of clouds and soon the whole planet was behind them. The windows slid up and the instrument panel changed to something out of Star Trek. Someone in the Space Station looked out with astonished eyes and grabbed a camera, but it was too late. There was a flash and Turbina disappeared. "How fast was that?" asked the Wabbit. "Too fast for numbers," said Turbina. "Where are we going?" asked the Wabbit. "Someplace to talk," replied Turbina. "Super hush hush - ears only," said Lapinette. She tapped the steering wheel lightly. It folded back. Galaxies sped by like soup. "There it is," said Lapinette. "MACS0647-JD," murmured Turbina. "Snappy Scottish name," chuckled the Wabbit. Turbina slowed down. The Wabbit laughed. "It looks like an electric bar heater from 1952." Turbina glowed red to match. "Perfect." she announced. "No passing trade," grinned Lapinette. "So what's it all about?" shrugged the Wabbit. "Agents of Rabit are planning an all out assault on our communications," said Turbina. She coasted to a stop, switched off the radio and turned off all her lights. The Wabbit's eyes glowed faintly in the dark, as did his 28 teeth. "So let's make a plan," said Turbina ...
Thursday, July 04, 2019
1. The Wabbit and the Swift Pick Up.
The Wabbit strolled down Via Nizza with hardly a care in the world, when a fast car mounted the sidewalk and a beautiful rabbit leaned across with a gun in her paw. He'd been wondering about his next mission, but not that hard. "Get in the car," snarled the rabbit. He raised a paw in the air and drawled, "Lapinette, that looks like my gun." Lapinette twirled it round several times and offered it butt-first. "I cleaned it up and replaced the safety catch." The Wabbit shrugged, took the gun and got in the vehicle. "Hello Commander," said the car. Turbina held an impossibly high rank at the Department of Wabbit Affairs. She could talk and fly. And she usually kept a salad sandwich in her glove compartment for the Wabbit, just for a culinary emergency. "I have your orders," said Turbina, "but let's take a little drive first." Lapinette put her foot on the gas, then gunned the throttle and hauled up the handbrake. Turbina swerved through 180 degrees and took off in the direction of the centre. The Wabbit clung on for dear life. Lapinette eyes gleamed and she span the steering wheel. Turbina took a left at Corso Germano Sommeiller on two wheels and briefly left the ground as she flew over the railway bridge. People jumped out the way. "Are we in a hurry?" asked the Wabbit. He tucked his automatic in his fur and peered in the glove compartment. Turbina and Lapinette laughed together. "Just practicing."
Monday, July 01, 2019
The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè
The sun was so bright it bleached the street - so the team found a caffè in the shade and scrunched in. Skratch made a late and fashionable entrance as usual. "Well hello everyone. What sort of adventure did you just get yourselves into?" Wabsworth was the first to comment. He looked directly over the table at Skratch. "It was a no reason kind of adventure. Despite its folk pretensions, it defies categorization." Skratch grinned a mighty cat grin. "That's very critical, Wabsworth. You surely didn't think it was silly." The Wabbit chimed in. "Perhaps it was. But that's not entirely negative. The adventure critiques the story-telling process itself." Lapinette giggled and beat a rhythm on the table. "I think it was wonky intellectualism of the highest order - Arabian Nights for the very highest of high brows." Skratch meaowed. "It was the anti realist nature of the story that rendered it as magical realism. The Wabbit and Wabsworth were arrivistes as much as Aladdin and Sinbad. But this version is as authentic as any ancient Arabian tale." Wabsworth chuckled. "My point exactly. Instability. Entangling displacement. Repetitive motifs." Lapinette laughed. "The story is a folk tale. The tyre is a ring. A ring means a wedding." "With this ring I thee wed," said the Wabbit. He made a circular movement with a paw - and said gravely, "Hoc est corpus meum." "Hocus pocus!" yelled Skratch.