They searched the deserted city for supplies and found some curling sandwiches in the station bar. Fitzy located a jar of pesto. Lapinette spread it equally around with an edged weapon she pulled from her frock. "Maybe everyone in the city shot through," said the Wabbit. "Like Spartacus," said Lapinette. "Did Spartacus shoot through?" asked the Wabbit in astonishment. Lapinette smiled. "Apparently." She handed the Wabbit her knife. "What? He just upped and left," muttered the Wabbit. The telephone rang. "Maybe it's Spartacus!" said the Wabbit. The phone rang again wildly and jumped off the hook. The Wabbit caught it. "Is that Spartacus?" "No way," said a voice. The Wabbit thought for a second and played with the telephone cord. "Maybe you'd like to speak with Lapinette." Lapinette shook her head violently and took back her edged weapon. "No," said the phone. The Wabbit shrugged and offered the handset all around - without success. He placed his mouth close to the phone, covered it with a paw and whispered. "No-one wants to speak to you." "Good," said the phone. The line went dead and the Wabbit replaced the handset. "The telephones are working at least," sighed Lapinette. The Wabbit lifted the phone and listened. There was no line. It was completely dead. "Whoever that was, they shot through." The Wabbit took Lapinette's knife, grasped the phone cord and smiled. "Noooo!" shrieked the phone. "Just checking the line," said the Wabbit.
[term: "shoot through": An Australian expression for leave or get out, usually without warning.]
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Friday, April 28, 2017
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
5. The Wabbit and a Backup Generator
The Wabbit's secret dump was locked and they had to force their way in. Downstairs a commotion raged. "There's definitely something in the store rooms," shouted Tipsy. "I heard a voice," yelled Fitzy. "Let's shoot the shibblet!" shouted Mitzy. The Wabbit listened carefully, then he started to laugh. "Did you disturb my box of old tape recorders? Unless Woody Guthrie came to call." Lapinette's personal guard had a reputation for ferocity and the three brandished their weapons. "He'll never get past us!" Lapinette made reassuring noises. The Wabbit shrugged. "I'd take you all to a caffè but they're closed." The lights flickered, dimmed, went out, then flickered dimly on again. The Wabbit scowled. "Tipsy, can you check the back up generator?" "Woody can check it for me," grinned Tipsy. She disappeared through a door. They heard three curses and a yell, then several bangs, followed by the chatter of a generator. "Let there be light!" shouted Tipsy. Everything brightened.The Wabbit sat on the munitions box. "What the binky is going on?" Fitzy shook her head. "The No people won the election." "I never heard of them," said Lapinette; "What do they advocate?" "Nothing, no thing, not anything" said Tipsy. "No way, no hay," said Fitzy. "Dirty rotten sons of saveloys!" cursed Mitzy. "How will we find them?" asked the Wabbit. "We stop at nothing," replied Lapinette.
[Saveloy: a seasoned sausage, often sold battered in fish and chip shops]
[Saveloy: a seasoned sausage, often sold battered in fish and chip shops]
Monday, April 24, 2017
4. The Wabbit and the Rural Route
Lapinette sped through the night - taking a variety of routes suggested by the Wabbit. The Wabbit's knowledge of parks in Rome was idiosyncratic and his routes inventive. His teeth chattered as Lapinette bounced along a rough footpath and climbed a steep hill. The jeep shot into the air as she crested it. "Yow!" gasped the Wabbit. "You said to go to Aurelia this way," shouted Lapinette. Gears crashed and wheels span. The jeep slammed on the lower slope and shot through the woods. The Wabbit remembered that Lapinette trained in the Panzer Division and knew how to treat a gearbox. So he held on tight and flicked a switch on his radio. It crackled aimlessly. "Nothing doing," scowled the Wabbit and he struck it with a paw. It whined and gurgled, then Tipsy spoke. She was barely audible but the Wabbit could decipher some of her more colourful expressions. He hit the radio again. It crackled optimistically. Then it died. "Batteries," cursed the Wabbit. "There's parks all the way?" enquired Lapinette. "For the most part," said the Wabbit. Lapinette gritted her teeth and stamped on the throttle. "We have a small diversion through a convent," said the Wabbit. "After that there's a market garden, a seminary, a playing field..." The Wabbit's eyes narrowed. "Plus a bit of rough ground, nobody knows what it's for." "Then?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit shrugged. "Then we'll use the flower beds..."
Friday, April 21, 2017
3. The Wabbit in the Cancelled City
[soup sandwich: (military slang) Anything that's gone stupendously wrong.]
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
2. The Wabbit and the Dragon's Tale
[The story of Terni's first appearance - The Wabbit and Terni find a device in the market.]
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
1. The Wabbit and the Limits of Signs
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè
Monday, April 10, 2017
14. The Wabbit is Homeward Bound
Friday, April 07, 2017
13. The Wabbit and Lapinette's Kiss
Behind a mottled sun, the black planet
flared bright and died. “Let’s get out
of here.” sighed Lapinette. She suddenly hugged the Wabbit and gave him a kiss.
The Wabbit grinned. “Our taxi’s here.” The Lepus loomed impossibly large on the
horizon, red lightning crashing from the bow. “My Cailleach still works,” murmured
the Wabbit. “I hope so,” smiled Lapinette. A small shock wave made them tremble. “That
was the black planet,” said the Wabbit. “Is that what it was?” said Lapinette. They
watched far-off planets dance into new positions. “How do we get on board the Lepus?” asked Lapinette.
“Oh, let’s just stay here for a while,” said the Wabbit; “One of the bio pods
does catering.” The Lepus dropped gently and settled on the planet surface. Lapinette
and the Wabbit sat down. A bio pod handed out sandwiches. “What about the dinosaurs?” asked Lapinette
suddenly. “My goodness,” gasped the Wabbit; “I quite forgot.” “You promised them a new
planet with volcanoes.” said Lapinette. The Wabbit munched a sandwich. “And decent
toilets,” added Lapinette. The Wabbit appeared nonplussed. “Any ideas?” “Why not leave them here on the blue planet?”
said Lapinette firmly. “What about the toilets?” asked the Wabbit. “Dinosaurs need
to take an initiative,” said Lapinette. The Wabbit looked worried. “Then what
about the volcanoes?” Lapinette shrugged. “There are volcanoes everywhere.”