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Friday, March 31, 2017
10.The Wabbit and the Critical Mass
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
9. The Wabbit and the Planet Mashup
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
8. The Wabbit & the Dinosaur Dispute
Uproar brought the Wabbit to the cargo bay, swiftly followed by Lapinette and Skratch the Cat. Together they tried to smooth ruffled scales. The Wabbit was a bit hazy about dinosaurs so he gave his reluctant passengers names. "What's it all about Rexy?" "We want to go home," said Rexy. "Ships give us nausea," said Rap. Lapinette became sympathetic because she had no sea legs either. "It's OK in space, there's no up and down." Liz bellowed. "We don't like side to side." "Or forward and back," added Rap. The Wabbit had not the slightest notion how to deal with this. "What would you prefer?" he asked. "We like to roam!" roared the dinosaurs. Skratch shouted from the bulkhead door. "We've no got much roaming room." The Wabbit wore a thoughtful look that bode a variety of things, few of them practical. "When it's all over, we'll find you a new planet!" Lapinette winced. The dinosaurs mumbled among themselves. "Will it have a volcano?" asked Rex. "Yes," said the Wabbit quickly; "Gently warming the land around." "And lush pastures for grazing," said Rap. "Of course!" smiled the Wabbit. "And proper toilets," said Liz. "I'm fed up pooing in spiky grass." The Wabbit's smile lurched to the side and his paws flailed. "I'll see what I can do. But I'm needed on the bridge. Any more questions will be answered by Lapinette." The Wabbit darted past Skratch and down to the bowels of the ship.
Friday, March 24, 2017
7. The Wabbit and the Short Jenny
[Short Jenny. In billiards, this constitutes an in-off shot into a middle pocket.]
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
6. The Wabbit and the Big Pull
Monday, March 20, 2017
5. The Wabbit and the Black Planet
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
4. The Wabbit and The Green Planet
Monday, March 13, 2017
3. The Wabbit and the Snooker Planets
Captain Jenny signalled the engine room and the Lepus stood still. The Wabbit felt the faint hum of auxiliary engines to be reassuring - although his heart was pounding. "There they are," he murmured; "Just where the map said." The Lepus swung in a distant orbit round an angry sun. Lapinette touched his shoulder. "They remind me of something." "Pool," said Jenny. The Wabbit shook his head. "Snooker." Jenny and Lapinette had a confab. "What colour has the most points?" "Black, seven" shrugged the Wabbit; "Black, pink, blue, brown, green, yellow, red." "How would you play this one?" asked Lapinette. "We need a break off," answered the Wabbit; "to get everything rolling." Jenny whirled the ship's wheel, which was only for effect. "Send out your Cailleach to stir them up, Commander." The Wabbit wasted no time and a giant Cailleach appeared close to the planets. A loud complaint issued immediately from the engine room. "Ye canna have holographics for long, Commander. It's braw but it's hard on fuel." "Look. Something happened," said Lapinette, She pointed to the Green Planet. "Magnify on screen!" shouted the Wabbit. The Green Planet repeatedly became bigger, then smaller. It seemed like it was breathing. "Looks like our kind of planet," said Lapinette; "but how much is it worth?" "Three," sighed the Wabbit.
[Background: NASA/JPL-Caltech under Creative Commons Licence]
[Background: NASA/JPL-Caltech under Creative Commons Licence]
Friday, March 10, 2017
2. The Wabbit and the Ship Trials
Lapinette waited with baited breath. The Wabbit was nonchalant and lifted his walkie talkie to his ear. The radio crackled with Captain Jenny's voice. "Stage one complete. All systems optimal." The Lepus hung over the moonlit bay, throwing waves of energy to the surface. Jenny's voice sounded cheerful. "Compliments, Commander." The Wabbit grinned. Light from his 28 teeth flashed choppy reflections across the harbour. He spoke into the radio. "Up works. Now try down." The Lepus sank until her hull grazed the water. "Up again and try port and starboard thrusts." The Lepus pirouetted like a Mariinsky ballerina in Swan Lake. "Ooooh," murmured Lapinette; "your work is done!" "Not quite," smiled the Wabbit. His mouth pressed aginst the radio. "Now loop the loop." The radio crackled with pirate expletives. "It's the red button at the base of the helm," said the Wabbit. "Aye Commander," said Jenny. The Lepus vanished. Lapinette counted the seconds and crossed her paws. Lightning flashed. The Lepus appeared upside down in the far sky and just as quickly vanished. Lapinette counted again. With hardly a splash, the Lepus settled in the harbour. Lapinette's sigh of relief lasted for ever. The Wabbit lifted his radio. "Jenny, report." Jenny's voice was a croak. "OK Commander, just a bit of upchuck." "We'll live," said the Wabbit.
[Upchuck: Vomit (US slang )]
[Photo credit: Background scene - Camilla Galli da Bino]
[Upchuck: Vomit (US slang )]
[Photo credit: Background scene - Camilla Galli da Bino]
Thursday, March 09, 2017
1. The Wabbit and the 7 Planet Trip
It was quiet on the Big Bridge. At half a kilometre long and seventy metres high, the bridge was perfect. No-one could hear them talk about the next mission. Far below, a high speed train broke the silence as it squeaked across junctions and into Porta Nuova station. Lapinette danced a little jig to the rhythm. "Sail me to the stars," she sang. "Far past Jupiter and Mars," sang the Wabbit. "In other words, hold my paw," sang Wabsworth. "In other words, baby kiss me," warbled Lapinette. They all laughed, until a distant cry wailed along the footpath. "Me first," shouted Skratch the Cat. The Wabbit grinned ear to ear. "Now that we're here, it's time to plan the ... ." A goods train rumbled by and drowned him out. "The new planets are forty light years away," said Lapinette; "So I'll bring my fur drier and stuff." The Wabbit made a mental note regarding cargo space. "Let's give these seven planets names," said Skratch with a wag of his tail. "Maybe after we've been there?" suggested Wabsworth. "Oh that's no fun," said Lapinette. "Go on Wabsworth. You start!" Wabsworth smiled because had already thought of names. "Maia and Eleckra," he said; "Asterië, Merope, Taygeta, Halcyone and Celæno." "They're taken," said Lapinette. "Anyway, I thought one could be Lapinette." "You're more of a star than a planet," winked the Wabbit.
Tuesday, March 07, 2017
The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè
The Wabbit unfolded a colourful chart. "I made a rough copy of the star map." Silence fell in the Adventure Caffè. "I coloured it in," explained the Wabbit; "It's all the rage." Lapinette pointed to the chart. "What's that red area?" "That is our target area," replied the Wabbit. "The new planets are there - all M Class but their sun is well dodgy." Skratch the Cat gestured impatiently. "Look, if we don't understand our last adventure, we'll have no clue about the next." Wabsworth rapped the table. "All right, I'll explain. Our journey took on the attributes of a road movie." Skratch purred quietly. "But the road movie is an arrested gaze and should not be taken literally." Lapinette chimed in. "Yes, our Wablantis journey was an accretion of elements that never implied continuity." Wabsworth smiled an infuriating smile that he'd learned from Skratch. "So meaning emerges as narrative construction fades into forgottenness." "That's Heidegger," observed Lapinette. The Wabbit suddenly tapped the chart and spoke strictly. "Phenomenology won't get us to these planets, but I know what will." He paused for effect. "The Lepus will scoop up fuel particles from space, just like a whale in the sea." Lapinette shook her head. "We won't have enough thrust." The Wabbit disagreed. "I invented a quantum turbo." "What does it feel like?" asked Lapinette. "Like being inside a barrel, rolling down a hill," grinned the Wabbit.
Friday, March 03, 2017
18. The Wabbit and the Arrival Home
Wednesday, March 01, 2017
17. The Wabbit and the Big Broadside.
The Wabbit looked over the rail. Wablantis was shrouded in a mist that hung over the sea like wet washing. The Wabbit signalled to the bridge. "Bring her round Jenny and steady as she goes." The Lepus swung. So did the cannon. "Lock," said the Wabbit. "On my mark. Fire!" He lifted a paw. The coast shook. "Again," said the Wabbit. The frackers' installation crumbled. "One more," breathed the Wabbit. The Lepus spat fire. The Wabbit watched a dull flame bathe the buildings as they collapsed to rubble. Now the installation was a flat one. The sea heaved. A plesiosaur broke through the waves and grew larger until its head and neck towered above the deck. Nessie boomed in a mighty voice. "Ye'll be needin' a pilot." Then he turned and headed slowly out to sea. The Wabbit signalled the bridge. "Follow that monster." The radio crackled with telegraph signals. "Slow ahead." The bow of the Lepus ploughed quietly through the mist, taking Nessie's route though the reefs. Suddenly they were beyond the mist and in open sea. "This way" boomed Nessie. The Wabbit's ears made a hollow noise. He could vaguely hear the cannon although gunfire had long stopped - and he felt a little dizzy. His radio crackled. "The bar is open," said Jenny. "I thought it never closed," cheered the Wabbit.