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Wednesday, July 30, 2014
5. The Wabbit and the Clan MacDrab
Monday, July 28, 2014
4. Jenny, Skratch & the Pyramid Trick
In Turin, the fake Stones were taken to the market in a borrowed truck. "We have to put up a show, Skratch," said Jenny. Skratch had been a Cat Burglar and knew a few tricks. "I think I can manage!" he laughed. But Jenny was a pirate and tricks were her stock and trade. "I propose we don't sell the Stones at all." Skratch looked puzzled. She put down her stone and rocked back and forth like a pirate. "Clients have to buy into our scheme." Her eyes twinkled. "They don't buy the Stone?" asked Skratch. "No," said Jenny, "Someone pays us €1000 to be a Member of the Stone Club." "What next?" said Skratch - although he knew what was coming. Jenny swayed. "When they bring us 8 more paying members, they receive a Stone as a gift and €8000." "Ah," said Skratch, "Each of these new members recruit another 8 members," said Jenny, "at which point they receive a gift and money." "Most profitable," said Skratch, "but this system is doomed to collapse." "I know," smiled Jenny. "It will last long enough to spot the enemy." "How will we recognise them?" asked Skratch. "They'll know the trick," said Jenny, "and they'll try to trick us." "No-one can trick us," said Skratch smugly. "Then we pounce," said Jenny. Skratch threw back his head and laughed. "We need our shill," said Jenny. Skratch saw Lapinette come round the corner and nudged Jenny. "Here she is now." "Ahaaahrr there, young rabbit," said Jenny. "Wanna be a member?"
[shill: an accomplice of a confidence trickster who poses as a genuine customer to entice others]
Friday, July 25, 2014
3. The Wabbit and Singing the Stone
[braw: adj. Scots, fine, excellent.]
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
2. The Wabbit and the Bootleg Stones
In a long abandoned and completely forgotten warehouse, Big Blue Snail and Wabsworth had been churning out more stones than a bootleg music factory. When the Wabbit and Rabbit Jenny arrived, they encountered an army of stones marching around like clockwork toys. "Ah, Commander," said Big Blue Snail. "Look at our creations. They're all beautiful and they move." "Do they talk?" asked Jenny. Snail paused. "We haven't been introduced." He glanced disapprovingly at the Wabbit and turned back. "I am Big Blue Snail. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Jenny nodded and rocked in a pirate fashion. "My compliments. I am Captain Rabbit Jenny." "Well do they talk?" asked the Wabbit impatiently. "Try them," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit hopped forward and spoke to the stone at the front. "Are you the true and original stone?" "Aye!" said the stone. "Naw, it's me!" said the second stone. Another jumped up and down. "I'm the only authentic and genuine stone here, by the way." The Wabbit looked at Jenny and then at Wabsworth and then at Snail. "Perfect," he said. Wabsworth chuckled. "I manufactured a sardonic sub routine especially for these fellows." Snail looked troubled for an instant. "How about their accents?" "They'll fool our enemies," smiled the Wabbit. Wabsworth was relieved. "I had trouble with the vowels." "So does everyone," laughed the Wabbit.
Monday, July 21, 2014
1. The Wabbit considers Stone Safety
The Wabbit decided there was safety in numbers but he still wasn't happy about enemies appearing at every turn. "Do you have a plan to keep the Stone safe, Wabbit?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit shrugged. "To tell you the truth I don't." "I'm perfectly aw right," said the Stone. "I'm enjoying myself." The Wabbit was not impressed. "Everyone's looking for you!" he snapped. Skratch the Cat was feeling rather out of things and his voice came booming from the rear. "There must be a price on Stone's head." "Ah hope it's huge," said the Stone. The Wabbit paused for a long time and Lapinette watched him carefully. "I have an idea," he said." "I have a better one," said Rabbit Jenny the Pirate. "You first," said the Wabbit. Jenny smiled. "We can manufacture several stones identical to our Stone - then offer them for sale on the open market." "That will flush out the rest of our enemies." said Skratch with relish. "But what about the safety of our Stone?" asked Lapinette. "Now for my idea," said the Wabbit. "We'll take Stone off-planet until Jenny's plan is executed." "Oh!" exclaimed Stone. "I've never been off-planet, is it guid?" Skratch nodded gravely. "There's an awful lot of it," he purred. "Ach," laughed Stone, "Ah feel like a change of scenery."
Friday, July 18, 2014
5. The Wabbit in Chemical Avenue
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
4.The Wabbit and the Zombie Hostages
Monday, July 14, 2014
3. The Wabbit and the Ramp Summit
The team gathered at the big ramp where they could be certain to defend against the Wasps. The Stone was surprisingly agile and he scooted up like a young mountain goat. "Oh," he yelled. "I spy big creepy-crawly things." "Marshall Duetta Spyder" said the Wabbit in surprise. "I thought you were on leave." "You sounded desperate," said Duetta, "so I rounded up some troops and scurried over." The sound of buzzing echoed around the concrete and they paused. "The Wasps are back," said the Wabbit feeling slightly foolish. Duetta rattled her legs and all her troops did the same. "Commander Wabbit," she said in the silkiest of silky voices. "These are not the Wasps we sent to the Sombrero Galaxy." An air of puzzlement hung like a jigsaw. "Then who are they?" asked Lapinette. Duetta snorted. "They are Glyptapanteles, often known as the Voodoo Wasps." "I know them from the Caribbean," said Jenny. "But they're too big." "Who are you?" asked Duetta. "You may call me Captain," snapped Jenny. "And there's me! Don't forget me!" shouted the Stone. "I know you," said Duetta. "I got a circular." "We have to protect the Stone at all costs," said the Wabbit. The Stone leapt up and down on the parapet and shouted. "We had unco trouble already!" The legs of all the spiders rattled for what seemed like an age. "I'm bigger than trouble," said Duetta.
[Unco adj. (Scottish): Strange, Uncanny, Weird]
Friday, July 11, 2014
2. The Wabbit & the Return of the Wasps
Wednesday, July 09, 2014
1. Lapinette, Jenny and the Wasps
Monday, July 07, 2014
4. The Wabbit and an Air Delivery
Friday, July 04, 2014
3. The Wabbit and the High Chase
The Wabbit took the shortest route but it wasn't the easiest. It involved climbing near vertically up the Roman walls and flying off the other side. This the Wabbit accomplished at the cost of the passenger door he had previously kicked. The Agents of Rabit swarmed up the walls in pursuit, but they hadn't reckoned on the Wabbit's manoeuvre. It was what he called the Jeep Jump, which he only used in emergencies because it gave him dyspepsia. "How's your tummy, Stone?" asked the Wabbit as Agents fell from the wall with varying degrees of suprise. "I don't have a tummy exactly," said the Stone. His ears had turned a delicate mauve-blue and now he could feel the effects of his long journey. "Where did ye learn to drive anyway, laddie?" "Tank Destroyers," murmured the Wabbit. "Aye," nodded the Stone. His ring-like eyes flickered to the rear. "Who in the name of all that's holy are these scunners?" The Wabbit scowled and peered through the cloudy windscreen. "They're Agents of Rabit, our oldest sworn enemy. They want to destroy us." "Ach, enemies," said the Stone. "They haud around much longer than friends, but what do they want wae me?" "Well, it's usually not about the money," sighed the Wabbit. "What it's aboot then?" asked the Stone. "World domination and enslavement," said the Wabbit. "Step on it son," growled the Stone. "We'll hae none a' that!"
[Scunner: Glasgow dialect. An annoying person]
[Scunner: Glasgow dialect. An annoying person]
Wednesday, July 02, 2014
2. The Wabbit and the Dancing Trolls
There seemed to be some event going on in the Piazza, so the Wabbit drew up and both he and the Stone hopped out. "I hear bonnie music," said the Stone. "Let's have a look," said the Wabbit. In the distance the Wabbit thought he could see Folk Dancers, but as they drew close his expression changed - now he made out the awful features of his enemies, the Agents of Rabit. The Stone jumped in the air and did a wee jig. "Heuch!" he yelled and he bounced up and down oblivious to the Wabbit's dismay. "Stone," shouted the Wabbit over the music. "Stone, we'd better be getting along." "Ach," said the Stone. I like this." He birled left and right and his boots made a clackety sound on the paving stones. It was the clackety sound that did. An Agent in the centre of the dance turned very, very slowly to the left and stared the Wabbit right in the eyes. "Stone," called the Wabbit. "Just turn in a casual fashion and make your way back to the jeep." The Stone couldn't help it. He had to look round. "My Goad," he cried. "Whit are these creatures of repellent aspect?" The Wabbit smiled a lopsided grin and hopped towards the jeep. "Let me buy you lunch," he said. "Oh aye," said the Stone and still dancing he made his way to join the Wabbit. But as the Wabbit started the engine, the Agents of Rabit danced in formation round the jeep and leered through the windows. "Good music all the same," said the Stone. The Wabbit grimaced. "The Devil gets his pick."